Wife (USC) wants to leave!

[kitteh 1]

K, I know that this thread is really really old, but I still feel the need to respond.

I think it's sad that the vows we take have just become empty words that we repeat. "In sickness and health, for better or worse"? That means something to me. Marriage is tough, and most long-term marriages go through difficult times. Interestingly enough, the vows don't say anything about our right to complete and conflict-free happiness. Most of the couples that I know who have endured 20+ years together admit that some of those years were really tough. I think most of us hear those words and don't connect them to the true meaning they hold. "Really difficult" is something most of us hear and ignore, or underestimate. I think it should be an ongoing effort and sometimes we will experience stretches of terrible (or NO) sex, difficulty with communication (as in, frequent FIGHTS and maybe some bitterness and feeling alone and angry towards your SO) and a general feeling of discontent. The goal is to balance those periods out with intimacy, connection, and agreement. But I think it is a balance, and too many people head for the hills at the first sign of discontent.

To me, the value of 20+ years together comes partially from the realization that the two of you have stuck it out through thick and thin and have grown together. But the idea of growing together includes those ubiquitous "growing pains" and in the end it all is worth the effort, blood, sweat, and tears.

Why get married if you're willing to call it quits as soon as ###### hits the fan?

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

The cult has brainwashed her, or she found another guy and wants to get out of the marriage.

[thejoz 0]

I'm very sorry to hear that. It always angers me a little when I see all the good people here fighting with USCIS and worrying endlessly about forms and application fees and waiting times and approvals, to then hear a story where one party has suddenly decided that something's not right anymore and they want out, without discussion, without compromise.

Marriage isn't, after all, a magic wand waved over a relationship that will make it steadfast forever, without any effort on the spouses' part. The marriage vows - "for better or for worse" - have uncertainty built into them. You confirm, in saying them, that you may well come across hardship and trials in your marriage, but you've made a solemn vow to work them out to the absolute best you can. Your wife doesn't seem to be upholding that.

Don't throw your marriage away. Talk to her about compromise. I'm sure you already have, but make it absolutely clear to her that your marriage requires both of you to make allowances for the other. I wish you all the best; truly I do.

[lost in Egypt 4 u 0]

Sadly the marriege is not working out anymore. We recently sent in the AOS... Now my wife suddenly has become a strict Jehovahs's Witness. The marriage was in good faith but we do not get along have different outlooks on life. Wat can I do? I dont wanna have the feeling that i would have to give into her views just cuz i do not have papers. She wants me to become Jehovah Witness.. even threatened me once or twice i dunno if it was jokingly or seriously...

There we go again.........he wants to get out now.......the same old story!!

[Barry and Jackie 0]

As much as I hope they worked things out, this is from 2006, so I dont think our suggestions will have an influence on the outcome of this.