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Withdrawal of support for I-129F (K-1) petition

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline

I've written a post previously about this subject, but I cannot find the forum for this subject at the moment (sorry, it's my own site navigation problem)...and I don't have a lot of time to continue searching for it, so.....

My fiancee's interview was scheduled at the Moscow embassy for November 30, 2009. However, after we discussed again and again a lot of what she considered 'family care' issues which would prevent her from returning to me to be married, on November 10, I sent the embassy in Moscow and the USCIS in Vermont an email stating that I'm withdrawing my support for the I-129F Petition for Fiancee.

In addition to the email that I sent to the Moscow embassy, I sent a PDF format attachment with my email which is a copy of my official notarized 'Letter of Withdrawal of Support of I-129F Petition for Fiancee.' Also, I sent a hard copy of my letter of withdrawal by USPS to both the embassy and to USCIS.

Hopefully, my notification will result in a cancellation of the I-129F petition without prejudice from the USCIS.

Now, back to the reasons for the failure of my relationship with my fiancee. This could be important and an eye-opener for many people who are considering bringing a fiancee to the U.S. These 'family care' issues that my fiancee had are issues that many families face, but they have never been a deal-breaking issue for us until September of this year--five months after our NOA1 and two months before her interview date. Beginning in August and during our long Skype conversations and emails, she increasingly applied pressure for me to commit to support her entire family financially after her anticipated arrival in the U.S. I will attempt to make a long story short. I concluded that her motivation and conditions for coming to the U.S. to marry me became all about money--MY MONEY for her and her family--a total of seven people!! Her mom, dad, son, a daughter (in college) and her husband (not working very much) and a new-born son.

The total sum of three years of a seemingly 'wonderful' relationship with this woman has come down to this one word--MONEY!! I know that money is necessary to live, but come on...someone in this family has to learn the meaning of personal responsibility!!

I want to be sick!! It's all very disgusting!! I wish I had never..........

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

My sincere condolences... :blush:

Gary will have a fit over what I'm about to say, but...

I'm sure that most people who get involved with a woman from a comparatively poor country wonder at some point if they aren't being used for something other than a sincere relationship. This has probably led a lot of people to do a google search for "visa fraud", or something similar, hoping they'll get an education in the warning signs they should be looking for. What turns up in a search like this are a LOT of websites dedicated to exposing fraud from a lot of countries. However, the ones that turn up the most often are the former Soviet Union countries, especially Russia and the Ukraine. Some of the scams resembles yours. More often, the woman cajoles the man for money for a wide variety of "emergencies" (medical, family, stuck at the airport, etc.), but never follows through with obtaining the visa, or never actually travels to the US. Why? Because she's got multiple guys "on the hook", and she's milking each of them for cash.

Every poor country has it's scammers, and there seems to be a common method unique to each country. What you describe seems to be relatively common with scammers from Russia. Hopefully, you didn't get soaked for a lot of money.

12/15/2009 - K1 Visa Interview - APPROVED!

12/29/2009 - Married in Oakland, CA!

08/18/2010 - AOS Interview - APPROVED!

05/01/2013 - Removal of Conditions - APPROVED!

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My sincere condolences... :blush:

Gary will have a fit over what I'm about to say, but...

I'm sure that most people who get involved with a woman from a comparatively poor country wonder at some point if they aren't being used for something other than a sincere relationship. This has probably led a lot of people to do a google search for "visa fraud", or something similar, hoping they'll get an education in the warning signs they should be looking for. What turns up in a search like this are a LOT of websites dedicated to exposing fraud from a lot of countries. However, the ones that turn up the most often are the former Soviet Union countries, especially Russia and the Ukraine. Some of the scams resembles yours. More often, the woman cajoles the man for money for a wide variety of "emergencies" (medical, family, stuck at the airport, etc.), but never follows through with obtaining the visa, or never actually travels to the US. Why? Because she's got multiple guys "on the hook", and she's milking each of them for cash.

Every poor country has it's scammers, and there seems to be a common method unique to each country. What you describe seems to be relatively common with scammers from Russia. Hopefully, you didn't get soaked for a lot of money.

This is not uncommon in Asia and can happen on any continent.

The truth is, people hide their real natures sometimes in order to get "what they want."

That can mean they are hiding things other than monetary demands - it could be a

habit like addiction to irresponsible sexual liaisons, or having a true nature that is

asexual but using the promise of a healthy sex life to catch a partner.

The petitioner/USC can also be hiding things. It goes both ways.

Whatever the hidden dysfunction, there are usually hints dropped as to what it is.

If you have a nagging feeling that your partner needs to change in a big way but

you are still optimistic, you are living in a dream world if you don't bring up the issue

before it's too late.

Sometimes there is nothing a reasonable person can do and they are totally blindsided.

It's best for you to move on as your eyes are now open wide and you have no doubts

as to what has transpired.

All my heartfelt best wishes,

TD4Me

02/2003 - Met

08/24/09 I-129F; 09/02 NOA1; 10/14 NOA2; 11/24 interview; 11/30 K-1 VISA (92 d); 12/29 POE 12/31/09 Marriage

03/29/-04/06/10 - AOS sent/rcd; 04/13 NOA1; AOS 2 NBC

04/14 $1010 cashed; 04/19 NOA1

04/28 Biom.

06/16 EAD/AP

06/24 Infops; AP mail

06/28 EAD mail; travel 2 BKK; return 07/17

07/20/10 interview, 4d. b4 I-129F anniv. APPROVAL!*

08/02/10 GC

08/09/10 SSN

2012-05-16 Lifting Cond. - I-751 sent

2012-06-27 Biom,

2013-01-10 7 Mo, 2 Wks. & 5 days - 10 Yr. PR Card (no interview)

*2013-04-22 Apply for citizenship (if she desires at that time) 90 days prior to 3yr anniversary of P. Residence

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline

Before the successful current relationship, I nearly got taken by a Colombiana, but luckily my antennae were out for "intestinal excrement of bulls" and I nipped it in the bud early.

People are people, and unfortunately, you ended up with a... er... people. On the bright side, you discerned it in time and your head remains screwed on straight. Much respect to you, and keep the faith, si man. :thumbs:

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ukraine
Timeline
I've written a post previously about this subject, but I cannot find the forum for this subject at the moment (sorry, it's my own site navigation problem)...and I don't have a lot of time to continue searching for it, so.....

My fiancee's interview was scheduled at the Moscow embassy for November 30, 2009. However, after we discussed again and again a lot of what she considered 'family care' issues which would prevent her from returning to me to be married, on November 10, I sent the embassy in Moscow and the USCIS in Vermont an email stating that I'm withdrawing my support for the I-129F Petition for Fiancee.

In addition to the email that I sent to the Moscow embassy, I sent a PDF format attachment with my email which is a copy of my official notarized 'Letter of Withdrawal of Support of I-129F Petition for Fiancee.' Also, I sent a hard copy of my letter of withdrawal by USPS to both the embassy and to USCIS.

Hopefully, my notification will result in a cancellation of the I-129F petition without prejudice from the USCIS.

Now, back to the reasons for the failure of my relationship with my fiancee. This could be important and an eye-opener for many people who are considering bringing a fiancee to the U.S. These 'family care' issues that my fiancee had are issues that many families face, but they have never been a deal-breaking issue for us until September of this year--five months after our NOA1 and two months before her interview date. Beginning in August and during our long Skype conversations and emails, she increasingly applied pressure for me to commit to support her entire family financially after her anticipated arrival in the U.S. I will attempt to make a long story short. I concluded that her motivation and conditions for coming to the U.S. to marry me became all about money--MY MONEY for her and her family--a total of seven people!! Her mom, dad, son, a daughter (in college) and her husband (not working very much) and a new-born son.

The total sum of three years of a seemingly 'wonderful' relationship with this woman has come down to this one word--MONEY!! I know that money is necessary to live, but come on...someone in this family has to learn the meaning of personal responsibility!!

I want to be sick!! It's all very disgusting!! I wish I had never..........

No, I won't have a fit. It happens that is for sure.

I will also say that it isd very common in the FSU for multi-generations to live together, in fact it is the norm for three or more generations to be under the same roof and it is often just one person providing the income, or one working and one collecting a pension and living very meagerly. They also have a very strong sense of family responsibility. When the person who may be providing the bulk of income for the family and has a strong sense of responsibility, suddenly takes off for the USA, they are going to want to make sure who they leave behind is cared for financially and such should be part of the plan from the get go. It is not anything to be ashamed to talk about. we help my MIL and also send funds to our son at college in Moscow and I do not feel we are any different than any other family, dmestic or foreign, nor do I feel I was in any way take advantage of. I fell in love with a woman that has an elderly mother and two sons...it adds to the cost of living...big suprise.

That said, if the relationship seems one of endless "asks" particularly for things which are not clearly identified, then there is a problem. People in the FSU have emergencies like anywhere else, it is not a common thing. many times they do not feel they are taking advantage of you especially if you have told them that you make in a month what they make in a year, they cannot imagine the amount of moeny you make and feel it is all "free money" because they do not have the same system of credit and finances. It is, still, very much a cash society. I think also many men simply do not understand how the people live and are easliy taken advantage of. They meet somoen on line and go there for a few days to meet them, maybe for a return visit that is spent visiting tourist attractions. LIVE there and you will see how they live, see what things cost. Another man I know had a fiancee in Ukraine and told me he was sending her $100 for theatre tickets. Let me tell you, I have been to the best theatres and Operas in the FSU and tickets cost nothing like $100. Not even for four people! Imagine paying nearly two weeks pay for a theatre ticket...are you serious? I suspected something was wrong...it was.

As soon as we turned the corner to "serious" Alla and I had a pow-wow about family expenses, combined our incomes and responsibilities, discussed it in detail and made a "budget", the way grown ups do. There was never another discussion, no emergencies and everyone was taken care of.

I will assume you did the right thing, I will also tell you it is not the "norm" and that there are many very sincere and caring women in the FSU. Most have no desire to take advantage of anyone. This situation of being money based seems to be much more common amoung younger women, that is a fact.

VERMONT! I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ukraine
Timeline
My sincere condolences... :blush:

Gary will have a fit over what I'm about to say, but...

I'm sure that most people who get involved with a woman from a comparatively poor country wonder at some point if they aren't being used for something other than a sincere relationship. This has probably led a lot of people to do a google search for "visa fraud", or something similar, hoping they'll get an education in the warning signs they should be looking for. What turns up in a search like this are a LOT of websites dedicated to exposing fraud from a lot of countries. However, the ones that turn up the most often are the former Soviet Union countries, especially Russia and the Ukraine. Some of the scams resembles yours. More often, the woman cajoles the man for money for a wide variety of "emergencies" (medical, family, stuck at the airport, etc.), but never follows through with obtaining the visa, or never actually travels to the US. Why? Because she's got multiple guys "on the hook", and she's milking each of them for cash.

Every poor country has it's scammers, and there seems to be a common method unique to each country. What you describe seems to be relatively common with scammers from Russia. Hopefully, you didn't get soaked for a lot of money.

Jim

The specific scam you speak of has been found to most often be pulled by MEN posing as women and hanging out in internet clubs all day. They scrape some photos off the web of hot girls and make some profiles on the "free" dating/marriage sites" They fall in love after 3 emails and then starting milking the guys for cash. Yes, there is always an emergency, they ask for money for visas and plane tickets, promise endless lovemaking when they come to visit, then, as you can imagine they have some majoir problem at the airport. I even read of one case where the woman said she was at JFK with her vistim on the other side of the secure area and told him they turned her back. You know and I know, that "woman" never got a visa. These things do not rise to "visa fraud" as they never involve visas, it is just a scam, and yes there are plenty of them.

NEVER send money to someone you haven't met and sincere Russian and Ukrainian women will never ask you for money and will not acceot money unless you have both decided this is a sincere relationship

Another thing is that even a sincere girl in a poor country can be overwhelmed by rich Americans. When she comes to the airport to pick you up, what is going through her mind is that you have enough money to buy a plane ticket. Such is just not possible for most people. No matter how much you tell her you are "not rich", dammit, you bought a plane ticket, "don't tell ME you aren't rich!" It is just something the person has to deal with on an individual basis.

VERMONT! I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline
Jim

The specific scam you speak of has been found to most often be pulled by MEN posing as women and hanging out in internet clubs all day. They scrape some photos off the web of hot girls and make some profiles on the "free" dating/marriage sites" They fall in love after 3 emails and then starting milking the guys for cash. Yes, there is always an emergency, they ask for money for visas and plane tickets, promise endless lovemaking when they come to visit, then, as you can imagine they have some majoir problem at the airport. I even read of one case where the woman said she was at JFK with her vistim on the other side of the secure area and told him they turned her back. You know and I know, that "woman" never got a visa. These things do not rise to "visa fraud" as they never involve visas, it is just a scam, and yes there are plenty of them.

If you are 'lucky' the guy might even have his girlfriend or other female friend call you on the phone to 'prove' her love-I mean if she called you, it has to be love right? No matter what she has very detailed instruction on how to exactly send money through Western Union. Tell her anything about how her thinking of getting a visa is wrong, her reply is, "Russian Black Market, anything can be bought". I had one of these after me many years ago, in the young days of the internet and lucky I realized that she never really answered any questions, and her 'life story' changed a little in each email, before I did something foolish. I used a very easy way to figure this one out too. I made a new email address and just did a completely different reply to her 3rd or 4th email to me. Talked about my favourite dental floss and stuff like that and made up a different name. Sure enough, I got the same reply-only each instance of my name was changed to the false identity. Basically a lot of them have (had) scripts they just changed details like your name with the 100 other guys they were talking to

NEVER send money to someone you haven't met and sincere Russian and Ukrainian women will never ask you for money and will not acceot money unless you have both decided this is a sincere relationship

And once it is a sincere relationship, sometimes they still refuse to accept money, or 'forget' to pick it up. This WHILE they are telling you about their own financial difficulties and/or family troubles.

Another thing is that even a sincere girl in a poor country can be overwhelmed by rich Americans. When she comes to the airport to pick you up, what is going through her mind is that you have enough money to buy a plane ticket. Such is just not possible for most people. No matter how much you tell her you are "not rich", dammit, you bought a plane ticket, "don't tell ME you aren't rich!" It is just something the person has to deal with on an individual basis.

Yes, trying to explain bills, credit, loans, taxes etc. is actually a more difficult language barrier than between English and Russian

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Happens in lots of countries. Not unique to the FSU.

When I was going through some tough sledding SHE asked ME if she could send me money to help out.

Naturally I declined but this to me is a true expression of what it means to be supportive.

Yes I can help with her family but that is STRICTLY limited to her university attending son.

I spent my last day (Halloween 2009) with her at a lunch with her son at Chululongkorn University

which her ex-husband drove us to. I also saw his apartment and we drove through the campus.

I have pics of his High School graduation at a prestigious Jesuit-run school. I have met him on

numerous occasions on every trip to Thailand over a period of 6 years.

Her parents are dead and she has 2 sisters & a brother. They are doing fine, never

asked for any kind of assistance but if it was serious and needed, I would help.

One thing for sure is her track record for honesty is unequaled.

That also means I am aware of all the problems she has with family (no family is immune)

and they are inconsequential compared to the support she gives me.

Part of the reason why our engagement was so long was that I knew she was so

dedicated to her only son who was still in high school when we met. Also, my

divorce was a long haul and she had a good job and was not ready for retirement

initially. Now her son is a grown man about to graduate from the best university

in Thailand and she has had her fill of her job, even if she has stacks of

commendations from the King (in gold leaf) for excellence.

There are more good ones out there like mine. I hope the OP finds that

if he has the patience.

02/2003 - Met

08/24/09 I-129F; 09/02 NOA1; 10/14 NOA2; 11/24 interview; 11/30 K-1 VISA (92 d); 12/29 POE 12/31/09 Marriage

03/29/-04/06/10 - AOS sent/rcd; 04/13 NOA1; AOS 2 NBC

04/14 $1010 cashed; 04/19 NOA1

04/28 Biom.

06/16 EAD/AP

06/24 Infops; AP mail

06/28 EAD mail; travel 2 BKK; return 07/17

07/20/10 interview, 4d. b4 I-129F anniv. APPROVAL!*

08/02/10 GC

08/09/10 SSN

2012-05-16 Lifting Cond. - I-751 sent

2012-06-27 Biom,

2013-01-10 7 Mo, 2 Wks. & 5 days - 10 Yr. PR Card (no interview)

*2013-04-22 Apply for citizenship (if she desires at that time) 90 days prior to 3yr anniversary of P. Residence

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: United Kingdom
Timeline

Wow, she wanted you to support her husband and newborn son - is the son yours or her husbands?! Didn't you just say you've been with her for three years?

Is it safe for me to assume she wasn't free to marry you? It's possible the visa would have been refused anyway, but I think in all you've had a lucky escape. I'd hope this is the exception rather than the norm.

I'm sure it's possible for this to happen in any country, though some are considered more "high risk" than others. Going back about 9 years, my (British) father got involved with a woman from China, who had a daughter. She had a very good job, her own apartment. They were involved in a relationship for around a year but never met in person. He proposed, she accepted and they started making plans for her to come over and bring her daughter. But - my father wasn't totally honest with her; he made out his job was a lot better than it was (and paid a lot better than it did), that myself and my sister were in university, that I was training as a teacher and my sister as a doctor (we weren't, I was at the local community college training as a hairdresser and my sister was still at school!) - the reason he gave her for not being able to afford a plane ticket to visit her was that he was paying for our education.

When she went for her first interview, the application was refused as the answers she gave (which were about him/what he'd told her about him) did not match the answers on his application for her. So they came to the conclusion that they did not have a bone fide relationship. It wasn't her fault - she was being totally honest and gave the correct information - but he didn't give the correct information to her. Poor woman probably has a mark on some file somewhere for trying to get a visa under false pretences.

I know it's my father I'm talking about, but just wanted to use it as an example to point out it's not necessarily the partner in the high-risk country who has created the relationship for less than romantic reasons. :whistle:

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Wow, she wanted you to support her husband and newborn son - is the son yours or her husbands?!

no.....her daughter's husband (the fiancee's son-in-law) and son (fiancee's grandson)....re-read the original post. :yes:

Edited by Joe & Nadya

K1

09/11/08 - I-129F Sent
09/16/08 - I-129F NOA1
02/06/09 - I-129F NOA2
02/13/09 - NVC Received
04/06/09 - NVC Left
04/09/09 - Embassy Received
05/18/09 - Interview Passed/Visa Approved
05/21/09 - Visa Received (picked up at Fedex in Kiev)
05/28/09 - Entered U.S. via JFK
05/29/09 - Applied for SS#
06/08/09 - SS# Received in the mail
06/12/09 - Applied for a Marriage License
06/19/09 - Wedding Day
07/03/09 - SS# under new name received in the mail

AOS/EAD/AP
07/27/09 - I-485, I-765 & I-131 Sent
07/31/09 - Package arrived in Chicago
08/03/09 - NOA for all 3 forms
08/27/09 - Case transferred to CSC
09/02/09 - Biometrics appointment - Done
09/03/09 - EAD touched
09/04/09 - AOS touched
09/14/09 - AP & EAD approved - Card Ordered
09/18/09 - AP Received in the mail
09/21/09 - EAD Card received in the mail
09/25/09 - AOS Approved
09/29/09 - Green Card Sent
10/02/09 - Green Card Received.
12/18/09 - Got my Drivers License.

ROC
06/27/11 - I-751 Sent.
07/01/11 - NOA.
08/15/11- Biometrics appointment.
03/17/12- ROC Approved - No Interview.

Naturalization
01/21/15 - N-400 Sent

04/15/15 - Became a US Citizen

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: United Kingdom
Timeline
no.....her daughter's husband (the fiancee's son-in-law) and son (fiancee's grandson)....re-read the original post. :yes:

Re-read and understood :) Doesn't look like I was the only one lol!

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