Sick Relatives Overseas

[AubreyJ 0]

Has anyone else had to deal with this? Awal's father got sick soon after he arrived here, and has been in and out of hospital for surgery. They told him he was doing better and walking around, but now it's taken a turn for the worse again, and he's back in the hospital for some reason.

No one will tell Awal what's going on as to not worry him. I feel really helpless right now- I don't know what to do except comfort him, but I can't say "oh, it will be alright" because I really don't know- no one has even told him exactly what he's sick with.

As far as I know there's no way for him to go home right now without endangering his chances of ever coming back to the US again. We can send money and occasionally call when someone-who-knows-someone-with-a-phone happens to be able to go to his house.... but I really don't know what to do. Of course Awal keeps telling me not to worry myself, but I see him thinking about it all the time. I'm really feeling confused right now. Why did this have to happen just when he arrived? Has anyone else had a similar situation? Any support or guidance on what I can do to help?

[snz1802 0]

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation, you and yours will be in my prayers, this has to be very difficult for you. I have not been in this exact same situation, I just wanted to let you know I will be keeping your family in my thoughts....

~Stacey

[Taye500 0]

Has anyone else had to deal with this? Awal's father got sick soon after he arrived here, and has been in and out of hospital for surgery. They told him he was doing better and walking around, but now it's taken a turn for the worse again, and he's back in the hospital for some reason.

No one will tell Awal what's going on as to not worry him. I feel really helpless right now- I don't know what to do except comfort him, but I can't say "oh, it will be alright" because I really don't know- no one has even told him exactly what he's sick with.

As far as I know there's no way for him to go home right now without endangering his chances of ever coming back to the US again. We can send money and occasionally call when someone-who-knows-someone-with-a-phone happens to be able to go to his house.... but I really don't know what to do. Of course Awal keeps telling me not to worry myself, but I see him thinking about it all the time. I'm really feeling confused right now. Why did this have to happen just when he arrived? Has anyone else had a similar situation? Any support or guidance on what I can do to help?

Hi,

I'm so sorry for this situation, i can sadly tell you that i am in the same situation as you. I;ve been here for in USA for a long time and decided to go home this past january. I spent 2 weeks and only to be told in may that my mother got realy sick due to her weight. It rocked my world like a volcano. She is getting better, according to my family back home. But her mobility is still restricted. Tell Awal that in a situation like this, he needs to man-up and be prayerful. This is a real test of manhood and faith. I hope everything goes well with his dad. As for me, i plan to go home in December or January and i know that my faith in the living God will not fail me. My mother will get back to her normal self. Life is not always a bed of roses. And as Dr. martin Luther King said " It doesn't matter what happens to us in life, it is how we handle the situation and our faith in God that matters ". Good luck and God bless !!

[onwa 6]

Sorry about the illness. Have you thought of applying or Emergency Advance Parole? If you have applied for the AOS (I-485), you go to your local office, pay the fee and fill out the form. It allows your husband to leave and come back before his AOS is approved. I know its so hard when family is sick and you cannot be together. If you have not applied for your AOS yet--you can do si immiediately so that you can also apply for advance parole.

[dmartmar 1]

Has anyone else had to deal with this? Awal's father got sick soon after he arrived here and has been in and out of the hospital for surgery. They told him he was doing better and walking around, but now it's taken a turn for the worse and he's back in the hospital again for some reason.

No one will tell Awal what's going on, as not to worry him. I really feel helpless right now and don't know what to do, except comfort him. I can't say "oh, it will be alright" either, because I really don't know. No one has even told him exactly what he's sick with.

As far as I know, there's no way for him to go home right now without endangering his chances of ever coming back to the US again. We can send money and occasionally call when someone-who-knows-someone-with-a-phone happens to be able to go to his house, but I really don't know what to do. Of course Awal keeps telling me not to worry myself, but I see him thinking about it all the time. I'm really feeling confused right now. Why did this have to happen just when he arrived? Has anyone else had a similar situation? Any support or guidance on what I can do to help?

How in the world could Amal tell you to not worry about his father's current health situation, when he has no knowledge about it and yet seems to be thinking about it all the time?

And if the situation has taken a turn for the worse; why wouldn't Amal, his family or his father want to all be together in such a difficult time? Would they much rather have him stay here in the US instead? What if his father's medical condition gets aggravated?

[Kanyiri 0]

Has anyone else had to deal with this? Awal's father got sick soon after he arrived here, and has been in and out of hospital for surgery. They told him he was doing better and walking around, but now it's taken a turn for the worse again, and he's back in the hospital for some reason.

No one will tell Awal what's going on as to not worry him. I feel really helpless right now- I don't know what to do except comfort him, but I can't say "oh, it will be alright" because I really don't know- no one has even told him exactly what he's sick with.

As far as I know there's no way for him to go home right now without endangering his chances of ever coming back to the US again. We can send money and occasionally call when someone-who-knows-someone-with-a-phone happens to be able to go to his house.... but I really don't know what to do. Of course Awal keeps telling me not to worry myself, but I see him thinking about it all the time. I'm really feeling confused right now. Why did this have to happen just when he arrived? Has anyone else had a similar situation? Any support or guidance on what I can do to help?

My husband is having a similar problem. His mother was sick even when I was back in Ghana - now two years ago. She has an infection that will just not go away. She has taken to believing that her life will soon be over and as such is just making things worse. We have sent money for her to continue going to the doctor, but it seems to just keep coming back. Ray often worries about it, but we can't do much as we are far away. He is also stubborn and says that his presence there won't do any good. She's also starting to realize that if she asks for money saying that she's sick we will send some. So now Ray is refusing to send anything. He doesn't believe all of her stories anymore. It's sad.

What you might invest in is sending money for his family to buy a mobile phone and units for the phone. This way they will have their own phone, so that you can call them directly. If you call them, it doesn't use the units.

Good luck with everything.

Kanyiri

[blah0323 0]

My hubby doesn't have any sick relatives, but they are just in need. So he is bothered when they need something and they won't ask. We call and get all the information and he is just miserable afterwards. We normally go bike riding or walking just to ease his mind. Usually it helps after that for him to calm down.

[AubreyJ 0]

Thanks for all the support everyone. I think right now that's just what I need.. Yes Awal is a very good honest and prayerful man, and he wants to help, but it's funny what you say Kanyiri, because he voiced the same fear about sending money. That yes, of course he wants to help, but he doesn't want to be taken advantage of.

As far as being together, we haven't even gotten married yet, (Aug 14) let alone applied for advance parole, and his father, even if he theoretically could, would never leave his town, let alone the country.

We did end up getting the family a phone.. we'll see how that goes. I think right now we just need to be strong, supportive, and prayerful, and I thank you all for that help

[mandolinv 0]

I'm sorry, am I the only one who takes offense to the "man up" statement. Anyway, I understand what you are going through right now. My mother-in-law was hit by a hit and run driver about 2 months ago and just got out of the hospital a week ago. It has been quite difficult for my husband. Of course, he doesn't want me to know he is worried, but I know it is constantly on his mind. The hospital bills have been outrageous and there is no way they can pay for it there, so we are paying for it from here. I love his family and want to help, but it has been a struggle. Since his mom has been home, he has been better. She still has to go to the hospital every day for treatment, but it is better to have her home then to have her having to stay at the hospital. Just let him know that you are also thinking of his family and thinking of him and how he is handling it. If it is part of your life/relationship, let him know that God has a plan and things will work out the way that they are supposed to. Hope that helps a little. I know how hard it is. Goodluck.

[Taye500 0]

I'm sorry, am I the only one who takes offense to the "man up" statement. Anyway, I understand what you are going through right now. My mother-in-law was hit by a hit and run driver about 2 months ago and just got out of the hospital a week ago. It has been quite difficult for my husband. Of course, he doesn't want me to know he is worried, but I know it is constantly on his mind. The hospital bills have been outrageous and there is no way they can pay for it there, so we are paying for it from here. I love his family and want to help, but it has been a struggle. Since his mom has been home, he has been better. She still has to go to the hospital every day for treatment, but it is better to have her home then to have her having to stay at the hospital. Just let him know that you are also thinking of his family and thinking of him and how he is handling it. If it is part of your life/relationship, let him know that God has a plan and things will work out the way that they are supposed to. Hope that helps a little. I know how hard it is. Goodluck.

mandoliv,

I did not mean anything bad when i said man-up. I was only encouraging Awal not to be down on himself so much. For him to leave it in the hands of God, he never fails. man up means, to take it as it comes and to do as much as he can to take care of the situation.

[mandolinv 0]

Okay, I'll leave it as you meant it. It sounded as if you were saying he wasn't being a man because he was worring. Maybe God up would have been a better term.