Raising bi-cultural kids

[iceyspots 0]

When my family moved to the USA, I was raised arabic as I said before. My parents did a great job of raising me, but since they were new to the USA we were all learning together about the USA.

When I was in 1st grade, our teacher handed us a map of the USA and told us to find the state where we were born. Well I was looking and looking all over for Jordan. I couldn't find it, then I saw Georgia, and I said Yesssssssss! this must be it. So when the teacher asked me where I was born I said Georgia, she looked at me with alot of doubt and asked what city, I said Amman, Georgia.

You know I had a similar problem. I was born in Canada. I couldn't find Ottawa on the map we were given. It was rather a stressful moment in my life. Like I really didn't exist. The school even put me in speech class to try to remove my accent. You can imagine how my parents hit the roof when they found out!! Once the teach learned I was from a different country and did not have a speech impediment we had a class conversation about 'foreign' people. And then people asking questions like "Say something in your native language." <sigh> Thank God the 70's are over. I would say that things have gotten better since most people now know where Canada is at least. Although that is mostly due to the hub over the 'Medicare' bus trips for cheap Canadian drugs.

Joel

One time I identified Quebec and Newfoundland as Michigan... which if you look at it, they're kinda both shaped like mittens...

Kinda funny that I love and idenfiy a lot with French Canadians ... moreso than Anglo Canadians.. lol

[jordanianprincess 0]

I'd also like to add, and this is directed at no one in particular. The people that I know who have gone down the path of marriage and both maintaining their own separate religion didn't encounter problems at all until their children were born and both of them started recieving pressure from thier families as well.

My own personal experiance with this is within my own family. My cousins daughters who were baptized by the pressure of the family are the only ones that lose out. My cousin who is Christian but only by name as he does not practice will not be able to teach them anything about religion. His wife who is also Muslim by name and doesnt practice either. The girls will probebly grow up without any knowledge of religion.

[iceyspots 0]

I understand how you feel JP..

The religion question is a very big one and then at the same time, if no conculsion is drawn.. the child becomes confused or often adopts a lack of beliefs. I believe that children need to have a good strong religious foundation when they are young, because that's what shapes their habits for the rest of their lives... If they want to convert later, then it is on their own free will (at least that's how I feel with my own children, forcing ultimatiums on them isnt healthy)...

Edited July 21, 2006 by iceyspots

[jordanianprincess 0]

I understand how you feel JP..

The religion question is a very big one and then at the same time, if no conculsion is drawn.. the child becomes confused or often adopts a lack of beliefs. I believe that children need to have a good strong religious foundation when they are young, because that's what shapes their habits for the rest of their lives... If they want to convert later, then it is on their own free will (at least that's how I feel with my own children, forcing ultimatiums on them isnt healthy)...

Beautifully said.

[AngelK96 0]

Myself before I married I knew my children would be muslim and I was ok with that, but living in the usa and being around my family who are native american they might identify with that culture a little more than the arab culture. Just because they will be exposed to that more than their father's culture. But it will be ok because when they are learning about arab culture they won't be too lost because basically we have the same family habits as arabs. My husband was also surprised about this when we recently went to my aunt's furneral in South Dakota. He seen brown people everywhere and at that time they were spraying for mosquitoes and he goes I feel like i'm in Irbid Jordan please bring me back when i get homesick..hahahaha I guess that's why my husband had an easy time adjusting to the usa. My husband told me our children will learn english and then arabic that's the way he wants it, but i told him they will also have to learn my mother's native language and my father's native language so we will see how that plays out.

As for the person asking about racism..that still exists in this country arab or not!

[noura 0]

I am sure you know Samir better than anyone else and since you think we are all bias, think about joining a few groups online for mixed marriages and see if anyone has had success in getting a Muslim man to accept his children be raised Christian. It isn't about knowing Jesus, for Muslims love Jesus too - but they have a different idea of who he was (Prophet rather than son). Alternatively, call a few mosques and ask the imam if he has ever known this to happen. For that matter, if you know a church leader involved in the interfaith community, ask his/her opinion.

Rebecca

Great advice, as usual, Rebecca.... I do always respect and appreciate your opinions and input. You always seem to have a level-headed and thoughtful approach to issues... thank you for your contributions on this board.

Noura

ps... not that any of this had anything to do w/ me in particular, but I just find Rebecca to be "spot on" in most situations...

[iceyspots 0]

[jordanianprincess 0]

Ok I'll bite..what's wrong?

[iceyspots 0]

Every now and then I just cry tears of joy because I love yacine so much

Carry on

[Bosco 1]

Aww thanks Noura It means a lot to me coming from you. Having Abderrafie here has calmed me down quite a bit. I used to be a lot more volatile. The immigration process can really do a number on you and certainly did with me (I see it more now with retrospect). It brought out the worst in me... and the time apart too can make you to think/worry too much to about all the what-ifs. So happy that is behind me and I feel those of you still in the process. Point is, it is much easier to be level headed when so many of your stressors are gone.

Rebecca

I am sure you know Samir better than anyone else and since you think we are all bias, think about joining a few groups online for mixed marriages and see if anyone has had success in getting a Muslim man to accept his children be raised Christian. It isn't about knowing Jesus, for Muslims love Jesus too - but they have a different idea of who he was (Prophet rather than son). Alternatively, call a few mosques and ask the imam if he has ever known this to happen. For that matter, if you know a church leader involved in the interfaith community, ask his/her opinion.

Rebecca

Great advice, as usual, Rebecca.... I do always respect and appreciate your opinions and input. You always seem to have a level-headed and thoughtful approach to issues... thank you for your contributions on this board.

Noura

ps... not that any of this had anything to do w/ me in particular, but I just find Rebecca to be "spot on" in most situations...

[Veiled Princess 1]

When I was in 1st grade, our teacher handed us a map of the USA and told us to find the state where we were born. Well I was looking and looking all over for Jordan. I couldn't find it, then I saw Georgia, and I said Yesssssssss! this must be it. So when the teacher asked me where I was born I said Georgia, she looked at me with alot of doubt and asked what city, I said Amman, Georgia.

That's so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet I have tears in my eyes now!!!!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

When it comes down to it all, when we are all knocking on those pearly gates one day, I don't think God will say "are you Muslim, Christian, Jew, etc?" He will say "you are a follower of me."

True, God wil not sort us out according to labels, but according to deads. The Quran says there will be Christians and Jews in heaven. Besides, what you raise your kids as is not always what they want to be. Plenty of evidence of that here.

[jordanianprincess 0]

When I was in 1st grade, our teacher handed us a map of the USA and told us to find the state where we were born. Well I was looking and looking all over for Jordan. I couldn't find it, then I saw Georgia, and I said Yesssssssss! this must be it. So when the teacher asked me where I was born I said Georgia, she looked at me with alot of doubt and asked what city, I said Amman, Georgia.

That's so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet I have tears in my eyes now!!!!

[iceyspots 0]

Uh oh...

I'm rubbing off on people........ let's all cry together

[jordanianprincess 0]

LOL, I was so busy bickering with Charles this morning that I didn't even notice i got my first heart.

Edited July 21, 2006 by jordanianprincess