Raising bi-cultural kids

[lostinlove228 0]

Rahma - It is more important for you to raise your Children as Proud Good Muslims that in a Cultural way. I myself refuse anything that is said to be "cultural" and follow what I believe to be good. They can take the good of each culture and dispose of the bad.

Oh, it's already a given that they'll be raised loving the deen, Allah (swt) and the Prophet (saws). I've already started collecting muslim oriented kids book That's my numero uno identity and inshaAllah will be our kids' as well.

I just don't want them to loose touch with the good I see in Egyptian culture, or the good I see in American culture. Kind of a mix of shwerma and pizza after salat is what I'm looking for

That is Basically how my family has lived. Being Arabic and living in the US. It becomes hard to really Identify yourself with either Culture. Since we have lived in an Arabic Community all our lives in the US, this community has estabillished it's own Identity, A little American and A Little Arabic and there rest is just us. It does become a little confusing while your growing up, But I think if you tak your kids to Egypt for vacations every couple over years, That will make them so much more well rounded in that aspect.

[deeshla 0]

Me and Yacine plan on teaching our children English first of all, of course..

then we also want them to speak French and Kaybile... Arabic doesn't have much of an importance because it is not in their bloodline...

When they get old enough, we plan on sending them to GRANDMA'S house in Algeria so we can get some much needed alone time.. or we will go with them.. lol

Is Kaybile Amazigh (Berber)? - exuse my ignorance. I am interested because my husband and I plan to teach our child Berber (Tamazight -- High Atlas, in this case) too -- especially since it was the first language we spoke together (along with English of course). Learning about Amazigh culture is very important to us.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Rahma - It is more important for you to raise your Children as Proud Good Muslims that in a Cultural way. I myself refuse anything that is said to be "cultural" and follow what I believe to be good. They can take the good of each culture and dispose of the bad.

Oh, it's already a given that they'll be raised loving the deen, Allah (swt) and the Prophet (saws). I've already started collecting muslim oriented kids book That's my numero uno identity and inshaAllah will be our kids' as well.

I just don't want them to loose touch with the good I see in Egyptian culture, or the good I see in American culture. Kind of a mix of shwerma and pizza after salat is what I'm looking for

That is Basically how my family has lived. Being Arabic and living in the US. It becomes hard to really Identify yourself with either Culture. Since we have lived in an Arabic Community all our lives in the US, this community has estabillished it's own Identity, A little American and A Little Arabic and there rest is just us. It does become a little confusing while your growing up, But I think if you tak your kids to Egypt for vacations every couple over years, That will make them so much more well rounded in that aspect.

You just remiinded me of the funniest thing. I didn't speak a word of english until I started school. I remember my first day of kindergarden like it was yesterday. Thankfully we were living in Chicago and there was another little arabic girl in my class. The news station came to the school to film our class saying the pledge of allegence which we just stood there staring at the camera like 2 lost puppies, no clue as to what was going on around us.

Then at lunch time, we would see all the other kids with penut butter and bologna sandwiches and chips and cookies and couldn't figure why we had labaneh sandwiches with Khiyar. Needless to say, no one ever wanted to trade with us.

[iceyspots 0]

but as far as religion goes.... we disagree. It will work itself out when the time comes, but, my children are baptised as christians and i intend for our baby to be baptised a christian also. He knows this , and doesnt like it, but he knows i am honest and just say how i feel.

May I make a small suggestion? Work it out ASAP and get the agreement in writing. I've seen a number of interfaith marriages go kaboom because this issue was never resolved. It can work out, but I don't think I've ever seen it work itself out, especially when a muslim man is involved

[Bosco 1]

Do most of you plan on using Arabic names for your children or more American sounding names?

If we are blessed with children, I want to select Arabic names (actually have a few picked out).

Rebecca

[UmmSqueakster 54]

All righty, I started a book list for my future kids inshaAllah. If anyone has any suggestions on good books aimed at bi cultural kids or books that highlight arab and/or muslim culture, please let me know!

I already have a box of like 200 books from when I almost became a teacher and 500+ from when I was a kid. Husband also has several boxes of books back home from when he was a kid. My kids are going to be so darned well read it's not funny.

http://reader2.com/rahma_kidsbooks

[jordanianprincess 0]

Do most of you plan on using Arabic names for your children or more American sounding names?

If we are blessed with children, I want to select Arabic names (actually have a few picked out).

Rebecca

DEFINITLY... I have my names picked too, although we are in dissagreement about it

[samir_shannon 0]

Samir is very religious but, he aslo respects my religion. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY RELIGION. Samir isnt any less religious becuase he would allow our children to be raised christian. He has never said he would allow it but i am saying i want it. Samir and I wont hve a problem cos of respect. I want my children to know Jesus. If Islam says thats wrong then there is something wrong with that. I can raise my children with good morals and values in christianity. I wont let it become a war between us. Thats why the world is the way it is. People get cuaght up in the RELIGION thing. Samir loves God I love God and my kids love God. That is what matters. Also we have talked about this many times. He wants his kids to be muslim but he said we will talk about it when the time comes. We have a very loving relationship. As far as i am concerned, I dont owe Islam or christianity anything. I answer to GOD not religion.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Do most of you plan on using Arabic names for your children or more American sounding names?

If we are blessed with children, I want to select Arabic names (actually have a few picked out).

Rebecca

Definately arabic names. I'm blessed/cursed with a very popular name (Jennifer) and I always wanted to have a name that no other kid in class had. Husband and I had a boy and girl name picked out oh 3 years ago, but it's still up for debate once the kids come along.

[Ric Flair 0]

Very interesting conversation. I don't mean to intrude here but I wanted to ask that given the current climate here in the U.S. and around the world, are you concerned about racism towards your children?

Will the children be looked down upon if they are Egyptian for example but do not speak Arabic (apologize if that is not the language).

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Samir is very religious but, he aslo respects my religion. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY RELIGION. Samir isnt any less religious becuase he would allow our children to be raised christian. He has never said he would allow it but i am saying i want it. Samir and I wont hve a problem cos of respect. I want my children to know Jesus. If Islam says thats wrong then there is something wrong with that. I can raise my children with good morals and values in christianity. I wont let it become a war between us. Thats why the world is the way it is. People get cuaght up in the RELIGION thing. Samir loves God I love God and my kids love God. That is what matters. Also we have talked about this many times. He wants his kids to be muslim but he said we will talk about it when the time comes. We have a very loving relationship. As far as i am concerned, I dont owe Islam or christianity anything. I answer to GOD not religion.

Shannon, I don't think anyone has said that there is anything wrong with your religion. I hope that you just look at our advice for what it is, advice based on experiences. We only want the best for you and Samir, and we hope that you get it.

[Bosco 1]

This isn't a book for children, but Parenting in the West is about raising Muslim children in the west. Not only does it have great tips on parenting in general, but it addresses some of the unique issues that may arise, ways to involve yourself in the school, etc.

All righty, I started a book list for my future kids inshaAllah. If anyone has any suggestions on good books aimed at bi cultural kids or books that highlight arab and/or muslim culture, please let me know!

I already have a box of like 200 books from when I almost became a teacher and 500+ from when I was a kid. Husband also has several boxes of books back home from when he was a kid. My kids are going to be so darned well read it's not funny.

http://reader2.com/rahma_kidsbooks

[iceyspots 0]

Me and Yacine plan on teaching our children English first of all, of course..

then we also want them to speak French and Kaybile... Arabic doesn't have much of an importance because it is not in their bloodline...

When they get old enough, we plan on sending them to GRANDMA'S house in Algeria so we can get some much needed alone time.. or we will go with them.. lol

It's much easier if they learn French and Kaybile before English. I spoke nothing but Arabic until I was 5 years old. I learned English in school but I still speak Arabic fluently. What I have noticed is that the parents that I know that speak nothing but their language in their home attain alot more sucess with their kids being fluent in that lauguange. Alot of times kids become ashamed to speak another language once they get older.

agreed... I think it will be easier to teach them french first.. and I imagine that will come naturally since me and Yacine speak French together... mixed in with Arabic and Kaybile.

Kaybile is the language spoken in Yacine's family's household.. but every now and then they add in arabic words, so sometimes I mix up the two !! For example, when Henia's fiancé visited us .. he is arab.... I told him "Qayum"... and he was like "Huh?" ... I said it means sit down.. and then I realized it was Kaybile..

There are a lot of kaybile words that are obviously not arabic because they have sounds that don't exist in arabic.. "itttch agghrom" = "kul khobz" = "eat bread" ... but there are some words that could be an arabic word because they have the same sounds. I know a lot of words and phrases but geez I may confuse the kids......

[Bosco 1]

straying here... but glad to see you posting again JP.

Do most of you plan on using Arabic names for your children or more American sounding names?

If we are blessed with children, I want to select Arabic names (actually have a few picked out).

Rebecca

DEFINITLY... I have my names picked too, although we are in dissagreement about it

[iceyspots 0]

Me and Yacine plan on teaching our children English first of all, of course..

then we also want them to speak French and Kaybile... Arabic doesn't have much of an importance because it is not in their bloodline...

When they get old enough, we plan on sending them to GRANDMA'S house in Algeria so we can get some much needed alone time.. or we will go with them.. lol

Is Kaybile Amazigh (Berber)? - exuse my ignorance. I am interested because my husband and I plan to teach our child Berber (Tamazight -- High Atlas, in this case) too -- especially since it was the first language we spoke together (along with English of course). Learning about Amazigh culture is very important to us.

Yes ma'am.