Raising bi-cultural kids

[UmmSqueakster 54]

While kids aren't in our plans for the next few years, I do find myself wondering how I will instill both Egyptian and American pride and culture in my kids, and find a way to balance it, so that they're proud of being both, and don't think of themselves as primarily egyptian or primarily american (ooo, look at that run on sentence).

I know we're going to try to raise them bilingually, inshaAllah. My husband will speak arabic with them and I'll speak english. Eep, better get on that arabic so I'll know what my kids are saying.

I got some cute little baby thobes for my friend's kid when I was in Egypt last time, so I'm hoping to dress my kids biculturally too My husband is actually going through this right now too, with himself. I got him a kufi that he wears when he prays, but he's started to wear it other times too, and may venture outside with it on as a statement of his muslim identity. A lot of people here think he's latino.

I can only hope my kids will be this cute inshaAllah!

Anyone else have thoughts on the issue?

[Veiled Princess 1]

I will reply to this more in depth later, after I leave work , but I wanted to comment.... that is the cutest pic EVER! I have it on my PC too

[iceyspots 0]

Me and Yacine plan on teaching our children English first of all, of course..

then we also want them to speak French and Kaybile... Arabic doesn't have much of an importance because it is not in their bloodline...

When they get old enough, we plan on sending them to GRANDMA'S house in Algeria so we can get some much needed alone time.. or we will go with them.. lol

[samir_shannon 0]

Samir and I plan on having childen. and i cant wait. I have two beautiful girls from my previous marriage and we cant wait to give them a little brother or sister. Our children will learn about Algerian culture and their heritage but as far as religion goes.... we disagree. It will work itself out when the time comes, but, my children are baptised as christians and i intend for our baby to be baptised a christian also. He knows this , and doesnt like it, but he knows i am honest and just say how i feel. he is patient with me i give him that lol that is what the hardest thing will be is two religions in one house. but he is sooooooooooooooo worth it. there isnt a man that is sweeter to me than he is. thank God for Samir

[UmmSqueakster 54]

but as far as religion goes.... we disagree. It will work itself out when the time comes, but, my children are baptised as christians and i intend for our baby to be baptised a christian also. He knows this , and doesnt like it, but he knows i am honest and just say how i feel.

May I make a small suggestion? Work it out ASAP and get the agreement in writing. I've seen a number of interfaith marriages go kaboom because this issue was never resolved. It can work out, but I don't think I've ever seen it work itself out, especially when a muslim man is involved

Edited July 21, 2006 by rahma

[jordanianprincess 0]

but as far as religion goes.... we disagree. It will work itself out when the time comes, but, my children are baptised as christians and i intend for our baby to be baptised a christian also. He knows this , and doesnt like it, but he knows i am honest and just say how i feel.

May I make a small suggestion? Work it out ASAP and get the agreement in writing. I've seen a number of interfaith marriages go kaboom because this issue was never resolved. It can work out, but I don't think I've ever seen it work itself out, especially when a muslim man is involved

Very much agreed In that part of the world, children are required to take the faith of their fathers which is why there is always so much drama in the Middle East when a christian marries a muslim and vice versa. I would expect him to feel strongly about it because if his child is bearing his last name, that identifies them with their religion.

My cousin married a Palestinian girl that is Muslim, and the 2 girls they have bear our families last name, which is a christian one. The girls were baptised earlier this year after a long 2 year battle. Who knows what they will grow up to be....

[Bosco 1]

I have to agree with Rahma. This is a make or break issue for a lot of Muslim men, unless your husband is not religious. A practicing Muslim that will alow his children to be Christian - very rare indeed if he even exists. Not trying to sound negative but this is something to give a lot of thought to if raising your children Christian is very important to you.

Rebecca

but as far as religion goes.... we disagree. It will work itself out when the time comes, but, my children are baptised as christians and i intend for our baby to be baptised a christian also. He knows this , and doesnt like it, but he knows i am honest and just say how i feel.

May I make a small suggestion? Work it out ASAP and get the agreement in writing. I've seen a number of interfaith marriages go kaboom because this issue was never resolved. It can work out, but I don't think I've ever seen it work itself out, especially when a muslim man is involved

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

I think that this is very interesting and important topic...I never thought that I would have children but with Jamal as a husband a a father I think I will change my mind...the idea of raising children in a bi-cultural household is a complicated one and I agree with Rahma that the consensus must be reached before things get complicated...At times it is hard for me to imagine the actual reality of it as I am originally from Poland and although USA is my home for the past 15 years I still learning everyday...especially when it comes to language...One thing that Jamal says and it makes me laugh is that we will learn until his English is better as he wants to understand his children perfectly...lol...I know that our children, if God will grand us this gift of love, will be raised Muslim and I am fine with that since I know that they will get a wonderful moral code and a strong faith...definitely Jamal will teach them Arabic and I guess they will be exposed to Spanish since this is the language we use at home right now...Just writing about these ideas makes me feel weird...I simply never envisioned that I would be facing this scenario...but I am hopeful of the future and with that I will accept God's will

Dorothy

[jordanianprincess 0]

Me and Yacine plan on teaching our children English first of all, of course..

then we also want them to speak French and Kaybile... Arabic doesn't have much of an importance because it is not in their bloodline...

When they get old enough, we plan on sending them to GRANDMA'S house in Algeria so we can get some much needed alone time.. or we will go with them.. lol

It's much easier if they learn French and Kaybile before English. I spoke nothing but Arabic until I was 5 years old. I learned English in school but I still speak Arabic fluently. What I have noticed is that the parents that I know that speak nothing but their language in their home attain alot more sucess with their kids being fluent in that lauguange. Alot of times kids become ashamed to speak another language once they get older.

[lostinlove228 0]

Multi - cultural is one thing, but inter religious is another. Any one who gets married to someone from another religion, Whatever it may be, needs to discuss these things before the marriage.

What you raise your kids as is one thing, But you owe them they learn about both or all religions and find there truth.

I have know couples whos marriages have broken up over this. Any religious muslim man will not allow his kids being raised anything but Muslim. After all that is the faith, that is your afterlife.

Rahma - It is more important for you to raise your Children as Proud Good Muslims that in a Cultural way. I myself refuse anything that is said to be "cultural" and follow what I believe to be good. They can take the good of each culture and dispose of the bad.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Multi - cultural is one thing, but inter religious is another. Any one who gets married to someone from another religion, Whatever it may be, needs to discuss these things before the marriage.

What you raise your kids as is one thing, But you owe them they learn about both or all religions and find there truth.

I have know couples whos marriages have broken up over this. Any religious muslim man will not allow his kids being raised anything but Muslim. After all that is the faith, that is your afterlife.

Rahma - It is more important for you to raise your Children as Proud Good Muslims that in a Cultural way. I myself refuse anything that is said to be "cultural" and follow what I believe to be good. They can take the good of each culture and dispose of the bad.

100% agreed to things in bold

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Rahma - It is more important for you to raise your Children as Proud Good Muslims that in a Cultural way. I myself refuse anything that is said to be "cultural" and follow what I believe to be good. They can take the good of each culture and dispose of the bad.

Oh, it's already a given that they'll be raised loving the deen, Allah (swt) and the Prophet (saws). I've already started collecting muslim oriented kids book That's my numero uno identity and inshaAllah will be our kids' as well.

I just don't want them to loose touch with the good I see in Egyptian culture, or the good I see in American culture. Kind of a mix of shwerma and pizza after salat is what I'm looking for

[lostinlove228 0]

Multi - cultural is one thing, but inter religious is another. Any one who gets married to someone from another religion, Whatever it may be, needs to discuss these things before the marriage.

What you raise your kids as is one thing, But you owe them they learn about both or all religions and find there truth.

I have know couples whos marriages have broken up over this. Any religious muslim man will not allow his kids being raised anything but Muslim. After all that is the faith, that is your afterlife.

Rahma - It is more important for you to raise your Children as Proud Good Muslims that in a Cultural way. I myself refuse anything that is said to be "cultural" and follow what I believe to be good. They can take the good of each culture and dispose of the bad.

100% agreed to things in bold

Just my personal Opnion

[ya falaha! 0]

Rahma,

I'm married to an Egyptian (as you already know ) but I was previously married to a Yemeni and have two sons from that marriage. My ex and I try to always instill them with a sense of pride of their heritage. They have been to Yemen twice..once for 7 months straight during which time they attended school there. They learned Arabic and Quran, alhamdulillah. My sons are very proud to be Arab and Muslim, alhamdullah. I never want them to forget their heritage. When my oldest son began school he was the only Arab/Muslim in the class and he felt some embarrassment about it. I told him that he was so special and that he should be proud to be Arab/Muslim. I think the most important thing is to expose them to Arabic language, Quran, and if possible..allow them to visit Egypt as much as possible. My sons will spend at least a month every summer in Yemen until they are grown and inshallah visit Egypt with me as well. Once they are grown they can decide on whether or not they want to continue their visits.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Rahma - It is more important for you to raise your Children as Proud Good Muslims that in a Cultural way. I myself refuse anything that is said to be "cultural" and follow what I believe to be good. They can take the good of each culture and dispose of the bad.

Oh, it's already a given that they'll be raised loving the deen, Allah (swt) and the Prophet (saws). I've already started collecting muslim oriented kids book That's my numero uno identity and inshaAllah will be our kids' as well.

I just don't want them to loose touch with the good I see in Egyptian culture, or the good I see in American culture. Kind of a mix of shwerma and pizza after salat is what I'm looking for

Culture is equally important. Culture can make divert an individual from their faith whatever that may be. My children will be raised as arabs not americans. For the reason that, once they are old enough they will adopt the american culture on their own and be able to know right from wrong. Culture is very important to me, religion is a given for my fiance and I as we share the same one.