When marriage on VJ fails...

[Minya's wife 25]

A person form a foreign country moves here to be with there spouse the marriage breaks up shortly after that. The person has no job, friends or relatives here but decidedes to stay in this country instead of going back to there own country to be with there releatives, family, and friends.

In that situation I would 100% visa fraud, if the only reason you are moving here is because you love your spouse and its over then why stay unless that wasn't the only reason you came here?

If their marriage breaks up here, why should it be automatically 100% visa fraud? What exactly do you qualify as "shortly thereafter". The 'broken' marriages we're talking about here are those that were valid for however short a period of time but they ended for whatever reason. It is not always the case that the relationship was faudulent to begin with, yet that is most often what gets cited on this board whenever a "my marriage is over" thread is posted. That is screwed up, period.

[bryonm4 0]

A person form a foreign country moves here to be with there spouse the marriage breaks up shortly after that. The person has no job, friends or relatives here but decidedes to stay in this country instead of going back to there own country to be with there releatives, family, and friends.

In that situation I would 100% visa fraud, if the only reason you are moving here is because you love your spouse and its over then why stay unless that wasn't the only reason you came here?

If their marriage breaks up here, why should it be automatically 100% visa fraud? What exactly do you qualify as "shortly thereafter". The 'broken' marriages we're talking about here are those that were valid for however short a period of time but they ended for whatever reason. It is not always the case that the relationship was faudulent to begin with, yet that is most often what gets cited on this board whenever a "my marriage is over" thread is posted. That is screwed up, period.

If you moved to Hungry to be with your spouse and it ended, lets say you had no job, no friends, no family there what would you do? I assume you would move back to the USA where you had family, friends, releatives, and could find a job. I think a person would hurt to much from being in a place with no friends or family to stay there most people would want to be with loved ones to console them to help get over it.

[TayRivers 4]

A person form a foreign country moves here to be with there spouse the marriage breaks up shortly after that. The person has no job, friends or relatives here but decidedes to stay in this country instead of going back to there own country to be with there releatives, family, and friends.

In that situation I would 100% visa fraud, if the only reason you are moving here is because you love your spouse and its over then why stay unless that wasn't the only reason you came here?

If their marriage breaks up here, why should it be automatically 100% visa fraud? What exactly do you qualify as "shortly thereafter". The 'broken' marriages we're talking about here are those that were valid for however short a period of time but they ended for whatever reason. It is not always the case that the relationship was faudulent to begin with, yet that is most often what gets cited on this board whenever a "my marriage is over" thread is posted. That is screwed up, period.

If you moved to Hungry to be with your spouse and it ended, lets say you had no job, no friends, no family there what would you do? I assume you would move back to the USA where you had family, friends, releatives, and could find a job. I think a person would hurt to much from being in a place with no friends or family to stay there most people would want to be with loved ones to console them to help get over it.

In some cultures it is a very bad thing for your marriage to fail... it brings shame on all the family, There has been reports of a person returning home after a failed marriage and that person is shunned by their family and friends, they can end up being treated worse than a prostitute and in some cultures punished for the failed marriage. So I can understand some peoples need to remain in the US after a very short failed marriage.

I think it is human nature for people to find something other than themselves to blame their failed marriage on and sadly Immigration benefits are an easy choice because other are happy to agree that the foreign spouse only got married for the "Greencard"...

Sad but true..

Tay

[SuperDuper! 230]

I guess they need someone to blame when they're angry and bitter about it.

It's sad really, but I guess it's how humans work.

U R human and therefore qualified to tell us how we work. So letz hear it!

[DIARD 1]

####### r u talking about farmer boy???

I do not "have a dog in this fight" (the eloquence of your prose astonishes me) -- I do have a problem with eternal whiners that are prompt to claim "FRAUD" as soon as their marriages are over for a multiplicity of OTHER non-immigration related reasons.

Then again, your line of thought is exactly that: uni-linear.

Thanks for playing.

hey there city girl,

you do have a dog in the fight (betting on your own resources).

i have a problem with whiners who deny that immigration fraud occurs when it is so widespread.

i also have a problem with people saying that they were "abused", but that their new boyfriend is perfect, and they want to stay in America because they have so much effort invested in getting here.

anyone who has worked with real victims of domestic abuse knows that they do not form trust object transferrence relationships quickly after separation from a genuine abuser, and that they want to be free of all things associated with such a person. i have seen very few posters on this board with this pattern of behaviour asking about how they can keep their immigration benefits. i have seen lots more posters who do not evidence a history of genuine abuse asking about how they can keep their immigration benefits.

I don't agree with this. I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years, have the scars to prove it. Met my ex husband less than 3 months after getting out. We were married 16 years. It didn't work but wasn't because of physical abuse.

[shania09 1]

our marriage now is like a sinking boat! holy #######.....

[bryonm4 0]

A person form a foreign country moves here to be with there spouse the marriage breaks up shortly after that. The person has no job, friends or relatives here but decidedes to stay in this country instead of going back to there own country to be with there releatives, family, and friends.

In that situation I would 100% visa fraud, if the only reason you are moving here is because you love your spouse and its over then why stay unless that wasn't the only reason you came here?

If their marriage breaks up here, why should it be automatically 100% visa fraud? What exactly do you qualify as "shortly thereafter". The 'broken' marriages we're talking about here are those that were valid for however short a period of time but they ended for whatever reason. It is not always the case that the relationship was faudulent to begin with, yet that is most often what gets cited on this board whenever a "my marriage is over" thread is posted. That is screwed up, period.

If you moved to Hungry to be with your spouse and it ended, lets say you had no job, no friends, no family there what would you do? I assume you would move back to the USA where you had family, friends, releatives, and could find a job. I think a person would hurt to much from being in a place with no friends or family to stay there most people would want to be with loved ones to console them to help get over it.

In some cultures it is a very bad thing for your marriage to fail... it brings shame on all the family, There has been reports of a person returning home after a failed marriage and that person is shunned by their family and friends, they can end up being treated worse than a prostitute and in some cultures punished for the failed marriage. So I can understand some peoples need to remain in the US after a very short failed marriage.

I think it is human nature for people to find something other than themselves to blame their failed marriage on and sadly Immigration benefits are an easy choice because other are happy to agree that the foreign spouse only got married for the "Greencard"...

Sad but true..

Tay

If I moved to my spouses country and things didn't work out everything in and about the country would bring up the hurtful feelings of my spouse. If I didn't have family or friends to comfort me and didn't have job to pay for food or shelter and I knew once I went back to my home country I would have those things I wouldn't care what my neigbors think of me.

I guess I could see an exception if your family disowns you and you would be in the same situation in your own country as you are in this country.

My wife is my life, I can't imagine how my life would be without her but if we didn't work out I would still support her for the rest of her life. I have her setup to get a part of my retirement/pension plan so if anything should happen she is taken care of. I know it would not be a good living here but in her country she could live better than most people there.

[Minya's wife 25]

A person form a foreign country moves here to be with there spouse the marriage breaks up shortly after that. The person has no job, friends or relatives here but decidedes to stay in this country instead of going back to there own country to be with there releatives, family, and friends.

In that situation I would 100% visa fraud, if the only reason you are moving here is because you love your spouse and its over then why stay unless that wasn't the only reason you came here?

If their marriage breaks up here, why should it be automatically 100% visa fraud? What exactly do you qualify as "shortly thereafter". The 'broken' marriages we're talking about here are those that were valid for however short a period of time but they ended for whatever reason. It is not always the case that the relationship was faudulent to begin with, yet that is most often what gets cited on this board whenever a "my marriage is over" thread is posted. That is screwed up, period.

If you moved to Hungry to be with your spouse and it ended, lets say you had no job, no friends, no family there what would you do? I assume you would move back to the USA where you had family, friends, releatives, and could find a job. I think a person would hurt to much from being in a place with no friends or family to stay there most people would want to be with loved ones to console them to help get over it.

Well, if I was in HUNGARY and my marriage ended, I'd actually be right at home seeing as I am Hungarian. (Naturalized USC here! )

But if I was faced with a situation where I had no job, no friend or family, I would certainly have some tough choices to make with regards to my future, but I would certainly not like to be branded a fraudster just because my marriage ended. That is what we're discussing here...that when a marriage ends (like so many of them do, unfortunately) we see many times that the USC cries immigration FRAUD where there really is none....it is just that the two people in question were incompatible and shouldn't have married in the first place.

Edited November 21, 2009 by Minya's wife

[SuperDuper! 230]

our marriage now is like a sinking boat! holy #######.....

Well get in there and work things out. If in a sinking boat, bail out the water with a big bucket!

[Minya's wife 25]

I guess they need someone to blame when they're angry and bitter about it.

It's sad really, but I guess it's how humans work.

U R human and therefore qualified to tell us how we work. So letz hear it!

STFU, you don't know that for sure. Maybe she's Klingon.

[thongd4me 69]

...why does the USC part of the equation routinely -not always- claims visa fraud? I find it pretty annoying and sometimes insulting.

Seriously folks. Marriages break up all the time. Marriage to a foreigner is no different than any other marriage.

To jump into this forum claiming fraud when the issues were everyday couple issues is the utmost expression of sour grapes.

Discuss.

My first marriage was a miserable failure, but it was the fault of both of us (she is Japanese, had AOS but I met her stateside).

I don't attribute it to visa fraud, although the marriage did fix her visa status and I don't attribute it to cross-cultural differences.

We were just 2 people who communicated poorly with each other about the things we wanted out of life and from each other.

Period.

[SuperDuper! 230]

I guess they need someone to blame when they're angry and bitter about it.

It's sad really, but I guess it's how humans work.

U R human and therefore qualified to tell us how we work. So letz hear it!

STFU, you don't know that for sure. Maybe she's Klingon.

Are you a Star Trek nerd? Confession cleanses the soul!

[Minya's wife 25]

I guess they need someone to blame when they're angry and bitter about it.

It's sad really, but I guess it's how humans work.

U R human and therefore qualified to tell us how we work. So letz hear it!

STFU, you don't know that for sure. Maybe she's Klingon.

Are you a Star Trek nerd? Confession cleanses the soul!

No, it was the only 'non-human' I could think of on short notice.

[ms_jinga_lala 0]

Maybe it's just easier than admitting the truth - that one or the other in the relationship didn't work at overcoming cultural differences. I for one find this the hardest part of my relationship. I think these could be an even bigger challenge that finances heaven forbid. Marriage takes work, we are all marrying immigrants, that just means we have a different set of things to fight about. If you can't own up to that challenge, you shouldn't be getting married. It takes a lot more than love to maintain a marriage.

[rlogan 2,036]

Maybe it's just easier than admitting the truth - that one or the other in the relationship didn't work at overcoming cultural differences. I for one find this the hardest part of my relationship.

Really? Wow. Our cultures are different but it's a thing that makes my life more interesting.

Marriage takes work, we are all marrying immigrants, that just means we have a different set of things to fight about. If you can't own up to that challenge, you shouldn't be getting married. It takes a lot more than love to maintain a marriage.

Yea, its work. But you know it isn't really all that much work either. When you actually do have your spouse as your priority, it does not seem like work to begin with. You are eager to do things for them.