Rant thread

[rebeccajo 14]

My rant for today is that after at age 46 finally finding a good and decent man; and after he got his visa and we got married (4 years ago); and after waiting on his greencard for 18 months (received 2.5 years ago); and after we bought our first home together (2 years ago); and after finally starting to see financial daylight at the end of a five-year tunnel that he lost his job (5 months ago) and after all that - hoping he can find another job so we can start all over again rebuilding what we've worked so hard for.

Damn....I'm sorry to hear that RJ We have also suffered tremendous financial difficulties due to not finding work since we got here a year ago..."life savings" don't last long when you live off them Also, it seems pertinent to add that real life living together and working through all that life has in store after the visa process is over is far far harder and frustrating

Well......yeah. I think it's just 'pertinent' to say that real life happens after all the paperwork. Good and bad. Just like any 'regular' couple (you know - not us international 'weirdos' ).

I hope everybody gets their visas and are reunited soon.

[Lisa and Ian 7]

I really don't believe that those who've received their visas already are gloating. Sure, they're happy and want to share their good news & get their congrats, etc. Just like you will expect (and get) once the visa has been delivered. This community does support eachother in good times and in bad. Some people (and I don't mean you Allie & Nigel) just don't seem to understand what bad is. Bad is waiting over 2 years for a K1, like our member estadia. Being taken care of within normal wait times is not bad.

Well said

Lisa and Ian, I dont think you can understand. Your process was seamless, ours was full of bumps and probably still is. Sure you had ap for 34 days, I was 30....so to sit there and nod ones head is only proving my point that there are some people who clearly cant understand and should stop trying cause its only making it worse. I really dont know our Sara does it....truly. Now THAT gal and i'm sure there are a bunch like her need a hat's off to....cause I'm having patience and anxiety issues over here...keeping busy helps but there's only so much cleaning one can do and so much chocolate to consume at one point!

I only object to the gloating bit, when I've been there attempting to support you whenever I can. It's a thankless job really.

[Allie and Nigel 2]

This makes me smile. I know exactly why this thread was started. In a thread of filers for a month if you are far behind - like us - there is not really any consolation! I got a bunch of RFEs for stupid stuff, it's my own fault but it doesn't make it any better.

It's nice to see a good bit of British complaining. Feels like home.

And god knows we're entitled to complain!!

I agree!

[Jewel-8 21]

I want to add to the rant... the stress of not knowing anything!! And having a fiance that is British and goes out of his way to act 'sensible' and wants me to just wait for the next thing to be done before we start on something else. Yes.. that's right... I'm the crazy one that wants to start talking wedding ideas after being engaged for 6 months.

[Nik+Heather 121]

I want to add to the rant... the stress of not knowing anything!! And having a fiance that is British and goes out of his way to act 'sensible' and wants me to just wait for the next thing to be done before we start on something else. Yes.. that's right... I'm the crazy one that wants to start talking wedding ideas after being engaged for 6 months.

Awww! I started planning without him (I had to! he didn't get here until the week before!!!). I ended up narrowing down a lot of things and then sending him pictures of three different options - "Do you like the seal twisted right, left, or straight on??" "Which of these three paper patterns do you like best for the invitations?" Luckily, a lot of the big decisions were no-brainers. Obviously, we should have the wedding at the location of one of our first dates - beautiful, and they rent space.

[*julez* 124]

I really don't believe that those who've received their visas already are gloating. Sure, they're happy and want to share their good news & get their congrats, etc. Just like you will expect (and get) once the visa has been delivered. This community does support eachother in good times and in bad. Some people (and I don't mean you Allie & Nigel) just don't seem to understand what bad is. Bad is waiting over 2 years for a K1, like our member estadia. Being taken care of within normal wait times is not bad.

Well said

Lisa and Ian, I dont think you can understand. Your process was seamless, ours was full of bumps and probably still is. Sure you had ap for 34 days, I was 30....so to sit there and nod ones head is only proving my point that there are some people who clearly cant understand and should stop trying cause its only making it worse. I really dont know our Sara does it....truly. Now THAT gal and i'm sure there are a bunch like her need a hat's off to....cause I'm having patience and anxiety issues over here...keeping busy helps but there's only so much cleaning one can do and so much chocolate to consume at one point!

I only object to the gloating bit, when I've been there attempting to support you whenever I can. It's a thankless job really.

Yes, the gloating part is offensive. The other stuff, as I specifically pointed out, was NOT aimed at Allie & Nigel. It was aimed at people well within normal processing times who whine on a daily basis. Allie & Nigel have a legitimate gripe.

Edited November 19, 2009 by *julez*

[treehugger 23]

I know exactly how you feel. Good for you to start this topic. Sometimes when you express your rant on other topics you get reprimanded for it. This whole visa process is such a stressful time for anyone who is doing it. I really feel for you. I too am waiting for my Interview Date. I hope everyday that we get some news.

I agree...our April/Ca filers are pretty much done except me and a couple others, but I'm sure they're tired of me bi^%%ing and I'm tired of seeing them gloat. No offense to them if they're reading, but really, its difficult to deal with.

Personally, I don't think others gloat (or perhaps the CR1 bunch differ from the K1s), but what I do get upset about are people who are delayed for a day or two longer than they'd like make a big deal about it, when my husband and I have been delayed both at USCIS and NVC for absolutely no apparent reason...at NVC alone we got the emails that kickstart the whole process exactly a month late, and those that received their NOA2s and transferred to NVC after us have already got their case completes and some have already been assigned their interviews...while we're still waiting for that first authorisation form to be accepted. Oh and all my original documents seem to have got lost in the post, despite them being registered etc. That is of course going to set us back, again. I understand the frustration, but really, an extra day or two when you're flying through ain't that big a deal, especially when there are those that are really held up. At least I'm still well within the timelines.

Thanks for giving one an outlet to vent

PS Another British thing - they say they deal with things on a first come, first served basis...yeah right!!

[Justine+David 218]

My rant is money! We planned our wedding for September 2010 because of the unpredictability of visas and filed in August. He plans to come over in June and while I understand that it's for the better that he works until then and has some time to say a proper good-bye to his country, the fact that we are so close so quick (we've been really blessed in this aspect) makes me want him over here by January.

Of course it's all illogical because I'd rather have it this way and be less stressed about a visa taking a long time to get NOA2 or put into AP at NVC...

But I want him with me!!! /petulant-child-inside-me

I might be able to convince him to come out come May...

[K & K 0]

Ok I'm starting this thread cause I know there's a bunch of us who need to vent about the waiting process, whatever stage they're in, cause I think sometimes its hard to communicate to others who are not in your situation, or they're past whatever stage your in and really cant relate...so here we go........

1. My rant is waiting for my visa from London, when we were approved pending our subject access, now its sent and I hope like crazy we dont have to wait like we're waiting for a dang NOA2!!!!!! I think we should be priority or the same as the folks who got approved the day of the interview and have their visas in a week or so like the rest of those lucky interviewee's.

Thats my rant of the day.

I understand If they can review documents in 30 mins on the day of the interview and approve it. Why does it takes 2 months to review the same documents they would have seen on the day of the interview??

[Allie and Nigel 2]

-------TRUE STUFF----->

I understand If they can review documents in 30 mins on the day of the interview and approve it. Why does it takes 2 months to review the same documents they would have seen on the day of the interview??

I second that!

[Gemmie 142]

Hmm, I do empathise with people that suffer during the process. It's not easy. Having said that, I have seen people obsess over the smallest things. I've seen people ask the same question five times even if they have a decent response, when the problem isn't so much of a problem.

I admit that I'm sometimes guilty of complaining about the process when there are people that have had it a LOT worse. Our process has been pretty average time-wise. That's just me wanting to be out of the USCIS hole for a couple of years as everyone else does.

I do try to remind myself of some of the more unfortunate cases I read on the forum; there are two posters from my filers thread (August 2008) that still haven't gotten their visas, and that was 15 months ago; MARM who has been put through administrative hell, and Mara who had her petition lost twice in a row and then after winning an appeal, had USCIS fail to respond. She is now back in Australia and starting all over again with a spousal visa. Of course, Sara who waited so, so long just for the NOA2. And some of the few stories where petitioners have tragically died, sometimes when the foreigner is unable to even go to the funeral of their loved one. THOSE are the ones that really have it bad, and I do try and keep a level-head when I want to complain that I haven't been touched in a few weeks.

Sorry to hear about the problems you've all been experiencing... I especially sympathise with you RebeccaJo (if only because once the visa process is complete, as awful as your journeys may have been, you can begin the next stage together, and once your fiance/spouse is picking you up from the airport, you forget all the negatives).

Financial strain is something that we've been through too, what with unemployment, car-replacements, immigration fees, etc, and I can honestly say that it's been the most stressful part of our relationship, moreso than any distance, permanent-living-together-type things, or homesickness. My husband has only just managed to get a full-time job with benefits and plans of advancing. We've finally managed to afford a full-sized bed and can now start saving to get our own place. We've always refused to buy things that we cannot pay for, and so we're lucky that other than student loans, we don't owe anything - and we can start treating ourselves now and then, which takes off some of the strain. I hope you two find something soon.

I do keep track of how people are getting on when I come on VJ, and am rooting for you all.

Edited November 20, 2009 by Gemmie

[*Snowdrop* 604]

-------TRUE STUFF----->

I understand If they can review documents in 30 mins on the day of the interview and approve it. Why does it takes 2 months to review the same documents they would have seen on the day of the interview??

I second that!

I think it's the unfairness of the system which makes people want to rant a bit - when you see people who filed at the same time as you get processed months before you do for no apparent reason.

We got stuck in the backlog of 2007 and our CR1 petition sat in a big pile untouched at VSC for ten months (it took over 3 months just to get the NOA1). At the point when VSC finally started transferring cases to CSC to get them done - it took 2 weeks from transfer to approval. So for ten months it sat in a pile in some filing room and we had no way of knowing what was happening. In the end it took 14 months to go from filing to the interview and we had a simple case with no RFEs - we were just at the back of a big queue.

On the one hand I was able to accept that we just had bad luck and had to grin and bear it. But when people who filed six months or so after us at VSC suddenly started getting approvals (it was as if they had dumped the new post on top of the old pile and were dealing with that first) it was really hard not to want to rant and rave about the unfairness of it all.

It's almost 12 months on now from my POE and while most of that frustration disappeared with 'getting on with real life' I am still cross that we spent the first 18 months of our marriage apart because of a failure of the system. I'd been prepared for several months apart but never thought we'd miss all those 1st year milestones.

I remember people back then telling those of us caught in the backlog that we had to be patient but it was hard especially during the 96 days it took to get the NOA1 and the cheque cashed. We all spent 3 months not even knowing if the package had even made it to the right place.

[Jewel-8 21]

there are two posters from my filers thread (August 2008) that still haven't gotten their visas, and that was 15 months ago; MARM who has been put through administrative hell, and Mara who had her petition lost twice in a row and then after winning an appeal, had USCIS fail to respond.

MARM now has her visa, last I heard it was being sent via courier. Cannot congratulate her enough!!!

[DIARD 1]

I think people should be able to rant. They always seem to get put down when they do though. This process is a stressful one, that is for sure.

I also don't think that most get on and glout though. The waiting etc gets to you and when things finally move along you just can't wait to share. Also I think just because a process might look seemless for some, doesn't mean it is. We have had numerous problems that I haven't shared on the forums, the last one being that they sent his visa before they received his medical. Though it was 't that big a deal. it was a stressful fiasco for an already stressed out fiance. He is finally in possession of 2 do not open envelopes. I am so worried they are going to lose his medical and we will be forced into another $400 medical for AOS. Oh well, like someone else said you just have to go with the flow of US immigration.

[FrostyMist 1]

I can't imagine what an awful, stressful time it must be to have to wait endless months not knowing what USCIS is up to. It's stressful enough when things roll along at a normal pace (as our case has so far).

I doubt anyone here's wait is easy. Just because my case hasn't been caught up at USCIS doesn't mean that there aren't other circumstances that have made the waiting we have had to do very stressful. A few weeks back, I was feeling really down and fed up over the whole process. We were making progress, but I was tired of checking and re-checking forms, I was tired of chasing after doctors letters, I was tired of timezones, I was tired of the constant worry that my computer might break down at any moment (and if it does, being unable to talk to my fiance). Sometimes its hard knowing that even after we get the K1, we have years more of dealing with immigration before this is all over. It was healthy for me then, to rant and complain a bit. Then I had a really good cry and felt a lot better.

I've discovered that for me, a really healthy way of dealing with the stress is actually to post here and try to help others with their problems/questions. It's a nice feeling to be able to share advice and experience for situations that I know I spent weeks of stressing about.

Edited November 20, 2009 by FrostyMist