Married Filipinos who send money to family back in Philippines

[calico1 1]

Oh Oh.... its not all that bad.

Just get used to it.

-P

Every situation is different..but money will always be some sort of issue for ANY FilAm relationship. I might be inclinded to help my wife's family a little more if she would stop stinking up the house with the damned garlic and dried fish..

Pinay likes the stinky fish morning, noon and night, and Balut for dessert!

How true

[jom 4]

Every situation is different..but money will always be some sort of issue for ANY FilAm relationship. I might be inclinded to help my wife's family a little more if she would stop stinking up the house with the damned garlic and dried fish..

Buy her a separate electric pan to cook the "bait fish" outside the house. Myla cooks hers in the garage and it works for us

She loves those shrimp paste too. Not a good smell either But hey, its part of her life and I wouldnt dream of taking it away from her. I dont care if she eats those forever as long as she stays

[sweetpink 1]

I used to work when I was still in the Philippines and paid most of our house bills. Though my mom work too but just enough for our daily needs. When I came here in the US and didn't have a job yet, WE used to send my family an $80 a month out of my hubby's paycheck. Now that I'm working WE send them $150-180/month out of my paycheck.

[TripleG 3]

WOW! Julias Ceasar just joined today and already bashing.....hmmmmm. Don't Feed the TROLLS

[one...two...tree 2,762]

i wonder if this guy is really married to a pinay dude u cant even spell the right word its Filipina, Filipinos, WRITE, PAWNED, PAWN and again its WRITE not right! LMAO

He's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

[toolinchains28 2]

All of us have different ideas, opinions and experiences regarding this matter. Let me share my story.

I married a USC and got here in the US just last year. My husband is Filipino but he was born here so he is technically a US Citizen. We were schoolmates back in college as we attended the same university in the Philippines. I always send money to my family back in the Philippines $700 every month since I started working here. This is not an issue between me and my husband at all. The money I send home is just to help the education of my three siblings (two brothers and one sister) who are all in college. They are studying in the best universities in Manila just like me and my husband used to be so that means really expensive tuition fees! When we were kids my parents had planned our college education as they put high regard in education. All four of us have college education plans. When I was in college I was able to use my college plan for the first two years and my parents were so grateful they have a college education for all of us so they won't have to worry about tuition fees. On my third year, the company that my parents purchased our college education plans filed for bankruptcy. My brother is about to enter college and we had a huge financial crisis because of the expensive education. I guess we can all just transfer to state college that offers less expensive tuition fees but my parents were really determined to send us to the best universities even if it means killing themselves to work. My mom is an educator and my dad worked his way up from becoming a regular laborer to becoming a businessman. We are doing just fine in terms of food, clothing, we have our own house, our own car but education expenses is really giving us a hard time. My college tuition back then is about 70,000 pesos every year (right now it is about 130,000 pesos a year or more for each of my three siblings) and this does not include books, allowances, projects etc. I finally got my bachelor's degree, thanks to my parents who never gave up on me and because of the loans we have from banks and financial institutions. My brother had no choice but to quit school for one and a half year. He worked to save enough money to enroll himself the next year. I then started working in the Philippines, I have a really good job that pays well. Out of my paycheck, I give my parents 20,000 pesos every month to help my brother get back to school and I have second brother who is graduating from high school so he is going to college too. So I have two brothers in college and one sister who is in a private all girls high school. The 20,000 pesos I am giving my parents is a great help to send all my three siblings to good schools. At that time, I was thinking I do not want to get married first as I really want to help my siblings finish their education.

To cut the story short, I have a boyfriend who I love very much and we decided to get married so he petitioned for me and I am now here in the US. Even before getting married, he knows our situation that I am helping my siblings with their education. Back in the Philippines, I give them 20,000 pesos a month so he is aware that I am still going to support them once I get here. I got here through a K-1 visa which means I have to wait for my greencard to be processed so I can start working. For about 7 months I was not working and during this time, I am not sending any money to my family because I do not have work so my parents are taking all kinds of loans to send my siblings to school. Once I got a job, I send them money to pay for all the debts they have and to help my siblings. My parents are really thankful that I am helping them and I am so much happy to be helping my family. I know the sacrifices my parents have to do to pay for my college expenses and I am lucky that I have siblings who understand the value of hardwork and money. They are thankful that they are able to go to the best schools with my help. If not for our failed education plans, I would not be sending this large amount of money to the Philippines because they do not need any help on allowance, bills etc. The $700 I send every month is to pay for about half of my siblings' education expenses. My parents can work as much as they can but they still need me to help them send my siblings to these expensive universities. Me and my husband have no issue over this as we also prioritize education that much. I am blessed with my husband who understands my situation. He can take care of us financially and the only reason I am working right now is to help my siblings finish their education.

Once my brother graduates, I will be sending lesser money. Once all three of them graduates, I don't think I have to send them any more money.

Edited December 23, 2009 by toolinchains28

[Marzy 1]

Does the issue of sending money home (or how much you send) cause tension between you and your spouse? If so, how have you tried to resolve it? There is no problem

What rules do you and your spouse follow regarding remittances (e.g. money only comes from Filipino spouse's pay)? I don't have a job, so if I want to send something to my family, I need his assistance. He is okay with it.

How do you determine the amount of money you send back to family in Philippines? I usually just give them less than $200.

How do you distinguish legitimate needs vs. "nice to have"s? It's their problem to have their 'nice to have'.

How do you handle emergencies (real and imagined) that come up? I probably run around, but who is helping but we (my husband and me). . Also, my sister can help, too.

Have you ever cut any family members off financially? If so, why and for how long? I didn't send them monthly support. I need the money more than they do. I'm studying. My husband is trying to help me to avoid student loan which is I thank him this more than anything else.

Edited December 23, 2009 by S*J

[MIkee & Livee 0]

C'mon, you are being too hard on him. Why not give him a hand up, instead of a hand out. Give him a loan to start up a Sari Sari store, and teach him to fish, instead of just giving him more fish.

Kanos are also national heroes by sending regular remittances to the PI every month. The heat is so tropical and oppressive every day of the year, it just saps out all your energy. This is why it is hard to work there. You are lucky to stay cool and sweat free during the day.

I live in Texas and am Kano the first decade of my adult life I worked as a mover to put myself thru school in the Texas heat so weather is no excuse to not get off your butt and work sell that line to someone else.

[DainandVicky 4]

My wife is a former OFW, she already went through all this. We discussed this at length before she came here, out of her income she's free to send up to a set percentage, and if/ when we have kids I'll try to maintain what she was sending. Her Mom is getting older, and she's from a family that's almost all female siblings and one male. Everyone in her side of the family helps what they can.

She paid all her own expenses, cenomar, police certificate from her OFW country, visa appt. fee, NBI clearance, etc. etc. etc. I knew then she's a good one, because I kept offering to help with those if she needed it.

My ex-gf was Pinay, her brother was a drug addict. I kept trying to talk to her about tough love and that she was enabling him and actually harming him. She never "got it", too soft. It was just advice, we weren't married, we weren't sharing finances. She always sent more than she could afford to distant relatives, cousins/ etc... I didn't marry her, she wasn't very sensible or practical.

Pick a good one, discuss these things beforehand. The reality is you're becoming in-laws with people who are often in precarious financial situations. I'm spoiled rotten, a little "help" is a small price to pay if it's really needed, and her side of the family are very nice and hard-working people.

If you're in the unfortunate situation of not knowing the family you're marrying into, you need to be firm, just like you would with a wayward family member stateside. Help people to help themselves but don't enable them to the point they become dependant on you for everything, or finance poor choices or a bad lifestyle.

[angela920 0]

I only send money to my dad because he is taking care of my dog (chow chow). I send $50 every month which I think is enough for my dog's food, vaccinations and shampoos. I don't want them to think that I have a lot of money and that I am willing to give it to them. I see how my husband worked so hard to get where he is at right now. He's been homeless and moved out of his parents house when he was 17. My relatives/cousins in the Philippines never been homeless so I really don't have a sympathy.

I am sorry but money is something you should work for. Hard work and patience.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

I'm posting even though my fiancee is from Vietnam. I send money from time to time to her, she has never asked me for a dime, only one time she asked for a computer so we could see each other on skype. She knows the United States is expensive and money doesn't grow on tree's. We both agree we'll send money back to her parents, more like 100 dollars to 200 dollars a month, which will help her family a lot. They make a good living over there (Farmers) very simple people who don't spend there money foolishly. So my advice is send what you can afford. I feel lucky my future in laws ask nothing of me.

[jim 66 6]

No tension. Its my own money not from my hubby (USC).

naaaa, just a true filipina showing her true colors.

hmmm anyone ?

You have done well at becoming an American Women. Glad my wife is not!

Ditto

naaaa, just a true filipina showing her true colors. which some of you are too blind to see in your wives.

[skidivawannabe 2]

I only send money to my dad because he is taking care of my dog (chow chow). I send $50 every month which I think is enough for my dog's food, vaccinations and shampoos. I don't want them to think that I have a lot of money and that I am willing to give it to them. I see how my husband worked so hard to get where he is at right now. He's been homeless and moved out of his parents house when he was 17. My relatives/cousins in the Philippines never been homeless so I really don't have a sympathy.

I am sorry but money is something you should work for. Hard work and patience.

I agree!!!

I wish I could send money for my dog too. He's a bit high maintenance hahahaha

Better yet, I want to bring him here. LOL. However, his life is already charmed there with his 3 nannies

[angela920 0]

I agree!!!

I wish I could send money for my dog too. He's a bit high maintenance hahahaha

Better yet, I want to bring him here. LOL. However, his life is already charmed there with his 3 nannies

My dog can't work.... my parent's/brothers/relatives/cousins can!

[archie07 0]

I sent $300.00 last week to my mother-in-law to have the well fixed. There was a worm in the water.