Married Filipinos who send money to family back in Philippines

[SuperDuper! 230]

It's not because he's Filipino. It's because he's a bum. He will have to be thrown out. It is the only way to better him.

C'mon, you are being too hard on him. Why not give him a hand up, instead of a hand out. Give him a loan to start up a Sari Sari store, and teach him to fish, instead of just giving him more fish.

Kanos are also national heroes by sending regular remittances to the PI every month. The heat is so tropical and oppressive every day of the year, it just saps out all your energy. This is why it is hard to work there. You are lucky to stay cool and sweat free during the day.

I almost choked on my drink when I read this. I'm a Kano living in the Philippines for the past several years and I can tell you for a fact, Kanos are NOT looked upon as heroes by people here. When my wife and I go out to the mall we hear people whispering 'pok-pok' (Tagalog slang for #######) and making other rude comments. When we go to the store, the 'hero' is charged 2 to 3 times what a humble local is charged. When you watch the news, Kanos are portrayed as meddling foreigners that are taking advantage of the Pinoys. Just listen to how Kanos are referred to when it comes to the VFA treaty.

People treat Kano money as a hero but have little use for the Kano themself.

As for the brother, sorry, he sounds like a bum to me. The father worked on the house, where was the brother? The father is now working a job, what is the brother doing? Probably sitting on his #### drinking Red Horse and waiting for the next remittance to come in so he can hit the sabungan with his buddies. There are plenty of hard-working Filipinos from all economic backgrounds but the brother in this story sure doesn't sound like one of them.

Sorry you live in an unfriendly neighborhood. As for the "hero" reference, it refers to the Aquino statement of the OFW's being "national heroes" by sending remittances. Likewise, Kanos sending remittances are pulling heroic duty as well by supporting their families on the islands. Oh, the "Kano Tax" there? That goes wo saying. If you cant deal with that, it sounds like you might consider living somewhere else. When I am in PI, I gladly pay the foreigner's tax, 'cause everything I buy there is STILL dirt cheap compared to prices stateside. I hope you find some friends there. I get nothing but respect when I hit the PI. You give respect, you get respect...

[bowgirl 8]

I worked in Dubai for 5 years so I know how hard it is to earn money and it's really frustrating when cousins (and even friends) ask for money and sometimes they even gave me a deadline, that I have to send before a particular date like as if I just pick up dirhams from the Dubai desert. That's how most Filipinos think about the people abroad, that they have a lot of money they can send anytime they ask. I know how hard my husband work to live a decent life and to prepare for OUR future family. Now that we're so close to start a family, we've already discussed this issue many times. When I get to the US, we will send money from his salary until I get a job. I have my share of expenses here and I cannot let my sister shoulder it when I leave plus I have a daughter to support. He doesn't mind supporting my daughter and even sending for my share (as I don't mind him sending for Mama in New York) but I admit, I am a person with too much pride. But I know, he will always help my family but will give a second thought with regards to my relatives.

[lilajean 0]

We dont really understand what you are saying!

Sorry. I thought she was catching flak for calling it "her money". And I could have misred what is going on in this exchange completely.

And if I did, no big deal. Just ignore. I can be retarded just as easy as the next guy.

But I thought my wife, in calling it "her money" was similar to what she was saying. And if the criticism of that is she has now become americanized by calling it "her money" then it could just have been a matter of wording that was misunderstood.

Mine calls it her money and really it is our money and she acknowledges so. There can be nuances to the wording that matter.

It wasn't me! I was just defending another because we refer to my "allowance" as "my money", or "my allowance". My husband's words not mine!!

I thoguht maybe the other could also have meant the same thing.

In the beginning I never spent anything, i'd call for permission even to see if i can fill up the car, discuss ever grocery item, everything. He gets tired of always getting asked for every little thing, so we set this up instead.

[tallcoolone 102]

What about the old Bait and Switch

I have talked to a couple of girls from PI, and they said when their Fiance was courting them. They sent plenty of money to PI, and also helped out the family.

Then when the girl arrives in USA, that money drys ups and disappears and no longer is any money going back to PI.

[SnME 3]

What about the old Bait and Switch

I have talked to a couple of girls from PI, and they said when their Fiance was courting them. They sent plenty of money to PI, and also helped out the family.

Then when the girl arrives in USA, that money drys ups and disappears and no longer is any money going back to PI.

Not all the girls from there will take the money...

My girl fusses if I send money. I stopped sending any a LONG time ago to avoid her lecture... The 'Stand on her own two feet' Lecture she gave me...

She fussed at me when I sent her flowers because 'The money could have been spent on something that could have been kept and used'...

I pay for our phone bills and that is all she will let me do.

She DOES send money to her family on a regular basis. She pays her sisters tuition and it takes quite a bit of the money she does make. She manages both her money and how she spends it very well and knows when to say 'NO' to the family...

The other day, I jokingly asked her when was the last time that SHE bought an IDD card to call me... (I had been buying a bunch lately) She went out and spent 2000 pesos on damn phone loads and IDD cards without telling me until after she did it!!!

I know her thoughts and actions well and MY honey has a firm 'pimp hand' on how she doles out her money to the family. Lots of really good 'savers' in the PI... I found one for sure!

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[betsay 0]

I lived in the Philippines for a year on my first visit. I was really disappointed because of all the people sitting on there butts collecting money from there family members working abroad. Those people working abroad work very hard to earn little money and have to pay back most of it to the company who sent them. Then they send the rest of the money to there families. There families live like kings buying all of the goodies. When finally there contract is up they go back to the Philippines and find out the family spent it all and now they have nothing. They work all those years and in return have nothing to show for it except for the aches and pains.. The Philippines is becoming a welfare country relying on other people to support them. They don't have any ambition to get up and work. They would rather sit around and drink and get money from relative abroad...... They are dirty people to throwing there trash every where. you cant go any where without see trash.

Me I wouldn't send money to my wifes family unless i new they were working and it is a big emergency. They would have to show proof to. and then it would only be the mother and father no one else.

You seem to have a very low opinion of Filipinos and the Philippines in general. Which part of the Philippines is your wife from? You speak/write as if you know everything about the Filipino people. I admit that what you have seen was true, it happens, and I am not proud of it. But you have no right to generalize and say that "the Philippines is becoming a welfare country. . .they are dirty people throwing their trash everywhere, etc. Before you make any generalizations about my country and your wife's country, please check you spelling first, okey???

Just out of curiosity, does you wife know about your low opinion about Filipinos?

[jsnearline 2]

What about the old Bait and Switch

I have talked to a couple of girls from PI, and they said when their Fiance was courting them. They sent plenty of money to PI, and also helped out the family.

Then when the girl arrives in USA, that money drys ups and disappears and no longer is any money going back to PI.

I wouldn't necessarily call that a bait and switch. Once they get to the US, they have the opportunity to get a job and then send money back home out of what they earn.

Several friends of mine wanred me when I was first getting to know my wife that I should walk away if she or her family ever started asking me for money. That isn't to say I didn't spend money on her. When I went to meet her for the first time, I took her to a couple different resorts and I bought her a Nokia cell phone that she'd had her eye on. I also covered the cost of her visa application. She was very clear with me that she wanted to send money home once she got here, but that she would work to earn whatever she sent back.

[Lancelotte25 1]

Great question and topic for discussion ...

It is not much of an issue for Belinda and me ...

We send a Balikbayan box once a year or so ... and several times a year Belinda will send some money to her mom but its not a large figure and I dont have any problem with sending it at all ... after all ... it is MY family too ...

Belinda has 3 siblings working abroad who also send money home ... so the burden is split 4 ways and not too much problem for any of the 4 children who help Nanay ...

-- George

I admire this one , I like this way of thinking.

[lilajean 0]

What about the old Bait and Switch

I have talked to a couple of girls from PI, and they said when their Fiance was courting them. They sent plenty of money to PI, and also helped out the family.

Then when the girl arrives in USA, that money drys ups and disappears and no longer is any money going back to PI.

I wouldn't necessarily call that a bait and switch. Once they get to the US, they have the opportunity to get a job and then send money back home out of what they earn.

as long as they make this clear during courtship it makes sense and is fair unless husband is making it hard to find a job, like requiring a job of only certain hours, work from home job, and so on. It sounds crazy but I do know someone who suffers from this! in the current economy these demands are especially hard!

[JelloShotGirl 0]

All I have to say, is we do what we can. We send a balikbayan box every year around the holidays. We filled it up with stuff and also send some cash. We sent a lot of money to our family in Marikina threre due to the flood. There was six feet of water in my husbands home. When my husband got here one member of his family kept on harassing us for money, but we told her we do what we can. Every couple of months my husband would send between 40 and $100 dollars to help his dad. We don't let anyone pressure us. "We do what we can" thats our feeling, because it took my husband almost 2 years once he got here to find steady work and it wasnt easy with the oil and gas prices here in NY in the winter months. We husband also explained to his family that we are "just starting out" as well.

[PhiLandShiR 18]

I can understand this for sure!!

-P

Okay... Got it!... As for me, I will not send them money and will just tell them that I am having trouble here and I can't help this time. I must say that in general, Filipino families are a bit sucker with their family living or working abroad. They will always ask money no matter what, when you tolerate them doing that to you.

Anyway, this is just suggestion. What if you laid back a little bit, tell your wife not to send money when they needed it. They will start figuring things with themselves. Give them a lesson that you are not just picking-up money outside your backyard, you work hard to earn it, and you have your lives here to work on too.

Whenever we tell Claudeth's family we can't afford to send them money I imagine I see their eyes glazing over and then a little later they are asking for money again. It seems they don't listen to something that they don't want to hear

[MikeMc 38]

Okay... Got it!... As for me, I will not send them money and will just tell them that I am having trouble here and I can't help this time. I must say that in general, Filipino families are a bit sucker with their family living or working abroad. They will always ask money no matter what, when you tolerate them doing that to you.

Anyway, this is just suggestion. What if you laid back a little bit, tell your wife not to send money when they needed it. They will start figuring things with themselves. Give them a lesson that you are not just picking-up money outside your backyard, you work hard to earn it, and you have your lives here to work on too.

Whenever we tell Claudeth's family we can't afford to send them money I imagine I see their eyes glazing over and then a little later they are asking for money again. It seems they don't listen to something that they don't want to hear

Now you know where she gets it from

Tell her to put less on her plate Hehehe

[calico1 1]

Every situation is different..but money will always be some sort of issue for ANY FilAm relationship. I might be inclinded to help my wife's family a little more if she would stop stinking up the house with the damned garlic and dried fish..

[PhiLandShiR 18]

Oh Oh.... its not all that bad.

Just get used to it.

-P

Every situation is different..but money will always be some sort of issue for ANY FilAm relationship. I might be inclinded to help my wife's family a little more if she would stop stinking up the house with the damned garlic and dried fish..

[SuperDuper! 230]

Oh Oh.... its not all that bad.

Just get used to it.

-P

Every situation is different..but money will always be some sort of issue for ANY FilAm relationship. I might be inclinded to help my wife's family a little more if she would stop stinking up the house with the damned garlic and dried fish..

Pinay likes the stinky fish morning, noon and night, and Balut for dessert!