Tanya and Mohamed no more!

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

I haven't read all of this but lordy it's sickening hearing u repeat "my daughter is arab....my daughter is moroccan." I'm american with 2 kids from the same dad who is algerian. They know it, EVERYONE knows it. But THEY are .....gasp.....american!!!!! and proud of it. For the love of god. what is ur point in always bringing this up???? if ur kids weree born here ther are americans!!!!!

Many people have been wondering the same thing.

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

Wow, Sister! I am so sorry things did not work out for you. I wish you well and I sincerely mean this.

Thank you so much! I just found out from my uncle that it's common knowledge back where I'm from that Arab men are lazy. I didn't know that! I thought it was just my husband! Is that true?

YES!!

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

I just wanted you to know that I do not feel insulted by your thoughts. You are experiencing something very hard, and its normal to be angry and say things, even some things you dont mean. And its ok. Everyone has bad relationship experiences, doesnt matter what nationality, men can be butts in any country. But remember, the actions of one person is the result of that person and not a country. Your prince charming is out there... so dont stop looking! In morocco employment is difficult to find, so you will see alot of men not working. My fiance works hard, he is a manager of his uncles restaurant and he works anywhere from 12-15 hours a day. I know how hurt you must feel, and how hard it is to lose your dreams. It hurts, so I understand your need to vent and express your feelings. My prayers are with you, and just remember, dont give up!! ok?

You are a smart, very mature woman.

[SuperDuper! 230]

I just wanted you to know that I do not feel insulted by your thoughts. You are experiencing something very hard, and its normal to be angry and say things, even some things you dont mean. And its ok. Everyone has bad relationship experiences, doesnt matter what nationality, men can be butts in any country. But remember, the actions of one person is the result of that person and not a country. Your prince charming is out there... so dont stop looking! In morocco employment is difficult to find, so you will see alot of men not working. My fiance works hard, he is a manager of his uncles restaurant and he works anywhere from 12-15 hours a day. I know how hurt you must feel, and how hard it is to lose your dreams. It hurts, so I understand your need to vent and express your feelings. My prayers are with you, and just remember, dont give up!! ok?

You are a smart, very mature woman.

Takes one to know one!

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

Ahhh, if only everyone would live by this quote:

"You can’t expect to draw people into your life who are kind, confident, and generous if you’re thinking and acting in cruel, weak, and selfish ways. You must be what it is that you’re seeking—that is, you need to put forth what you want to attract." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

I have got some good quotes too Visa4habibi

One is easily fooled by that which one loves. -- Jean Baptiste Poquelin Moliere

Betrayal can only happen if you love. -- John Le Carre

The cruelest lies are often told in silence. -- Robert Louis Stevenson

Do not blame yourself Visa4habibi. You are not the first person who this has happened to. I just hope you had some fun along the way, can remember some good times and have the ability to forgive and remember the good times.

Its really hard to stay positive when someone has literally sponged off of you for several years and then does not contribute back into the relationship after you have poured heart and soul into it but really its not a moroccan thing specifically. Thats the thing I want to share with you. Venture over the the Nigeria board, other boards and read away. It happens to lots of people from different cultures. The thing I really hope for you is that you can somehow get some good stuff out of the life experience and still have enough brain cells left to be be able to love someone else eventually and start over. Do not let people blame you. You cant help if someone married you for papers or to get here. That deception started a hell of a long time ago and its not fair to blame this girl for putting out negative vibes or some other mumbo jumbo when she probably was very good to him but it was doomed from the start

On the other hand Visa4habibi, please do not trash Moroccan people . There are some that you could learn to know that could be immense allies in your life and fill your life with happiness. It starts with forgiveness. Then acceptance of what happened and then reaching out to the very people who you feel screwed you. You will be amazed at their compassion and you just might make some friends..

Do not let people blame you. You fought like hell to get this guy over here. That deserves a hell of alot of credit

Hang in there ok?

You are so right! As for Moroccan people, I wish he was one half as nice as his parents and sisters!!

[SuperDuper! 230]

So this thread is going to degenerate into what we should call ourselves? African-American, Italian-American, Japanese-American, MENA-American.

There is only ONE race: The Human Race.

Sheesh!

[ya falaha! 0]

I didn't know you had half Algerian babies. You should wear them as a badge of honor like HIT does. It's really siggy worthy...I have half Algerian, Arab babies so I'm better than you. Same dad, too? Damn HIT is gonna be way jealous now.

I haven't read all of this but lordy it's sickening hearing u repeat "my daughter is arab....my daughter is moroccan." I'm american with 2 kids from the same dad who is algerian. They know it, EVERYONE knows it. But THEY are .....gasp.....american!!!!! and proud of it. For the love of god. what is ur point in always bringing this up???? if ur kids weree born here ther are americans!!!!!

Many people have been wondering the same thing.

[William33 110]

Insults, whether implied or insinuated, are not welcome on Visa Journey. Please keep the thread on topic.

[Ban Hammer 13,550]

misread pm, and i see william has taken care of it already.

Edited December 12, 2009 by charles!

[sandinista! 1,816]

Sorry to hear about this.

However, not cool to use generalizations. Not cool at all. And even more so uncool to say stuff like that in a site like VJ. We get it, your husband is an a-hole. Him being Moroccan has fvckall to do with that.

p.s. what can I say? I am that cool B)

If you have to say that you are cool, does that mean you also laugh at your own jokes?

***

OP: From your sig, it appears that you invested about 6 years in this guy. It's little wonder that you are emotionally crushed and devastated. I wish the other posters would try to put themselves in your shoes, instead of leaping down your throat when you need compassion and mercy.

We need to walk a mile in your shoes, before we criticize and abuse. Peace and Good Luck.

So if your wife burns you will it be okay to talk sh!t about all filipinas? Last time I checked it's called "discrimination".

And I laughed at Len's joke. At least she knows how to sympathize with someones pain without allowing the generalization an entire culture based on just a few. I don't think it was the OP's intention, more of hurt words that came out wrong.

To the OP...sorry to hear about your hard situation. Do you feel that it was all a ploy to come to the US? If yes, can you enlighten any of us on any signs that you feel now that you might of missed? One way or the other it hurts. And no one should have to go through that.

So here is a question--Would it also be discrimination when the hubby always says "In Morocco, blah blah blah" As in if we were in Morocco, things would be different cuz us American women are such b's. Listen, facts are facts, no matter what culture or country. Let the woman say her peace and quit taking everything personally and as an attack on your husband. This is a free country, thank God and she can say what she wants and feels. What ever happened to supportive. Dang, her husband is a jerk, can't you at least give her some comfort and support? Chill out....

of course guys who say this are every bit as much trash as the ones making generalizations about moroccans. if she can say whatever she wants, than anyone reading it has the same freedom to call her out on her bs ethnic slurs and insults that have no place in the discussion about her failed marriage. if all it takes is a failed marriage to bring out someone's inner bigot, i wonder if it was always there, from the beginning, but just denied/hidden/ignored. because these kinds of slurs and generalizations don't just crop up over night.

[crazyinEgypt 0]

Thank you nice people for your nice words! I appreciate them.

And about insults: I didn't insult anyone! If someone's looking to pick a fight they'll find it anyway. I just asked if that was true because I never heard something like that. And about Moroccan women I haven't seen any walking a yard behind her man and taking s...t from anybody. I like and respect Moroccan people and I haven't have any problems over there just here with my husband who happens to be from Morocco. Guess I can't say anything anywhere and I apologized from the beginning. Now I know why I left.

I'm not a Moroccan woman to take abuse and follow my man a yard behind him!

*Ahem* Just in case you didn't notice, this implies that you think Moroccan women put up with abuse and follow their men around. If you don't want to be understood, don't generalize.

It's common knowledge in this area that moroccan men can do whatever the hell they want and the wife just best keep her mouth shut! It's a sad situation and I wish there was something I could do to get these women out of these situations. Just sayin.

[crazyinEgypt 0]

To the OP. I'm sincerly sorry this happened to you. I know there are many American/Arab marriages that work out wonderfully, then there are the marriages that go south very quickly. I'm sure many won't fess up and tell the forum the things that has happened to them that has been trying on their marriage. Everything was wonderful here when my husband first got here, then once the twins came it was downhill. He's never changed a diaper, gave the kids a bath, etc. Tells me that not what men do in his country! I have my suspisions already so I'm prepared for whatever might come my way. The whole time he's been here he's had many friends that ironically found an american woman and they are all here now with their visas. Few of them have already left their wives too! Even now I wonder how much my husband loves me or if I'm just going to be another statistic.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

To the OP. I'm sincerly sorry this happened to you. I know there are many American/Arab marriages that work out wonderfully, then there are the marriages that go south very quickly. I'm sure many won't fess up and tell the forum the things that has happened to them that has been trying on their marriage. Everything was wonderful here when my husband first got here, then once the twins came it was downhill. He's never changed a diaper, gave the kids a bath, etc. Tells me that not what men do in his country! I have my suspisions already so I'm prepared for whatever might come my way. The whole time he's been here he's had many friends that ironically found an american woman and they are all here now with their visas. Few of them have already left their wives too! Even now I wonder how much my husband loves me or if I'm just going to be another statistic.

Wow!!! Im sorry to hear that for you as well. I hope that isnt going to be the case for you as well. No one wants a marriage gone bad. Peace and Love to you! -Tamara

[sachinky 465]

This thread makes me wonder how people can do this to other people.

I'm sorry for all your troubles. I hope you find the peace and love you deserve.

Professor Dumbledore is a wise man -- "We accept the love we think we deserve."

[Need2know 0]

That's too bad, to come all this way and him not live up to the expectations and his responsibilities. But, I will have to agree with all of those who say he's just a bad apple.