What happens if I do not want to remove conditions?

[Scott and Mhay 57]

you know it would be nice to have hidden cameras in the house for when she throws her fits....i know it would be hard to do if she is always home. There has been some good advice here, so it is just all in the course of action you take now.

[TBoneTX 45,304]

The OP's description of his treatment brings back unpleasant personal memories here, si man...

Legal counsel is a must. I would also (with an attorney, or alone) go speak with the police agency that has jurisdiction in your area. Sit down with a sergeant or lieutenant who has dealt with such things and who will take a written report. Explain the situation as objectively as possible, express your concerns for your safety, ask for what your options are, and get a copy of the officer's report or notes from this meeting -- or, at least, get the officer's name/badge number and the number of the police report (or the date/time of your meeting). The immigration issue is rather beside the point; your safety is the chief concern.

You will score a lot of points if, during your caucus with the police, you ask exactly how to handle matters if your wife blows up and says or does X, Y, or Z. This will add to your immediate credibility during the caucus, and it could also work to your benefit during legal proceedings later, si man.

[sh18 3]

- She doesn't stop being permanent resident if she didn't remove the conditions. No one can take her permanent status other than immigration judge.

- Cops have nothing to do with immigration and they do not force immigration laws.

- Sending blank package and convincing her you sent the package would probably work very much against you in court.

- Unless she is brain damaged she will be expecting notice of action and biometrics appointment pretty soon and if she doesn't get any of those she will probably contact USCIS to find out that nothing was received.

- It doesn't seem like a fraud marriage and although I understand your precarious situation the best course of action is to divorce her without trying to commit fraud (you may or may not sign I-751 it is up to you). She will probably be able to do it without you (albeit with more scrutiny), but that WILL make her hurry up with the divorce as she needs to be divorced to file I-751 on her own.

Also, whoever said that they shouldn't file I-751 because the marriage is in the toilet is wrong: they can easily file it as they are still married and not in the process of divorce. I am sure there are plenty of marriages who experience marital problems while filing I-751: some get reconciled some don't.

Edited November 12, 2009 by sh18

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Hi, Tom,

I've read your post, twice, and went through all the responses. Now my head hurts and that's a sure indicator that I didn't like much of what I read. So here's my take on it.

From your responses to some of the posts I understand that you want that woman out of your life, preferably as far away from your hometown as possible, preferably back to the streets of Brazil.

Therefore, instead of giving you a lecture on how she can remove conditions on her own or on how VAWA works and on how you are committed to her since you married her, I'll be getting right to the important part: the battle plan!

In order to remove the condition of her residence (being happily married to you all this time), you both have to file the I-751 jointly. Slightly simplified for practical purposes, she can only remove the condition on her own if you drop dead, or abused or divorced her. She cannot file for ROC alone unless one of the three aforementioned conditions exist.

Therefore, do not help her with the I-751. Remove every bit of evidence showing that you guys ever lived together. Do not divorce her until she's in handcuffs, waiting for her ride to Brazil. Without you being dead, being documented as an spousal abuser, and without divorce, she has entered the twilight zone of the I-751 . . . the land of nothing.

She can't file, at least not successfully, and without filing, USCIS will eventually start removal conditions. She will have a chance to face an immigration judge and could, theoretically, ask for the deportation proceedings to be put on hold until she's divorced. That, however, is your chance to inform the judge about her fraudulent nature.

Now . . . of course she will go gagga once she realizes that you won't help her. So at one point in time you'll have to stay somewhere else, from where you'll tell her, on the phone, not in person. At the same time you'll have somebody else coming to your house, ringing the door bell a few minutes later, and if she's going psycho this person will call the cops to document her actions and the damage.

With the police report, you'll write a letter to USICS with her Alien number and report that you found out that she is a fraudster, totally psycho, and that you are afraid she would do you harm.

Using the same report, you'll get a restraining order against her and move her out of your house.

From there on all you do is have to wait until she'll be removed.

Wish you the best.

[k.loveh 0]

Please make an appointment with a good attorney asap, explain the abusive situation and let him or her handle it. It's the most sensible thing you can do now.

[thongd4me 69]

The OP's description of his treatment brings back unpleasant personal memories here, si man...

Legal counsel is a must. I would also (with an attorney, or alone) go speak with the police agency that has jurisdiction in your area. Sit down with a sergeant or lieutenant who has dealt with such things and who will take a written report. Explain the situation as objectively as possible, express your concerns for your safety, ask for what your options are, and get a copy of the officer's report or notes from this meeting -- or, at least, get the officer's name/badge number and the number of the police report (or the date/time of your meeting). The immigration issue is rather beside the point; your safety is the chief concern.

You will score a lot of points if, during your caucus with the police, you ask exactly how to handle matters if your wife blows up and says or does X, Y, or Z. This will add to your immediate credibility during the caucus, and it could also work to your benefit during legal proceedings later, si man.

Si, man; bullseye.

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

The OP's description of his treatment brings back unpleasant personal memories here, si man...

Legal counsel is a must. I would also (with an attorney, or alone) go speak with the police agency that has jurisdiction in your area. Sit down with a sergeant or lieutenant who has dealt with such things and who will take a written report. Explain the situation as objectively as possible, express your concerns for your safety, ask for what your options are, and get a copy of the officer's report or notes from this meeting -- or, at least, get the officer's name/badge number and the number of the police report (or the date/time of your meeting). The immigration issue is rather beside the point; your safety is the chief concern.

You will score a lot of points if, during your caucus with the police, you ask exactly how to handle matters if your wife blows up and says or does X, Y, or Z. This will add to your immediate credibility during the caucus, and it could also work to your benefit during legal proceedings later, si man.

This is by far the best advice I've seen here. Followed by Just Bob's battle plan. DOCUMENTATION is the name of the game my friend when dealing with ANY government agency. If it's written down with date and time it is FAR more believeable then just rattling off a list of things that have gone on. Start creating your documentation NOW.

[Scott and Mhay 57]

Yes also one thing the lawyer told me when i was in the process of the divorce was to take notes of conversations, my ex's reaction, her unwillingness to let me see my daughter..this would help me later in my case if i needed it since it is hard to recall everything....but if you have a printout for the judge...bingo you are in there. He said it was best to have record like e-mail or even texts. I dont know if you use any of those, but it is an option. The biggest thing is to have legal advice.

Edited November 12, 2009 by Scott and Mhay

[sh18 3]

Remove every bit of evidence showing that you guys ever lived together. Do not divorce her until she's in handcuffs, waiting for her ride to Brazil. Without you being dead, being documented as an spousal abuser, and without divorce, she has entered the twilight zone of the I-751 . . . the land of nothing.

Heh, ex-illegal immigrant is teaching US citizen how to screw a legal immigrant.... "Yep, destroying evidence and then lying to immigration judge that it was fake marriage is the way! Would be hilarious if she got that on cam heh"

Edited November 12, 2009 by sh18

[baron555 934]

I did not call this fraud. His question was "What happens if I do not wish to remove conditions" I took that as.... "help get me out of the ^&%# situation I am in" and the way to get out of that is to remove the evidence that would allow her to stay in the country. That evidence is what will allow her to remove conditions on her own regardless of their situation.

B I N G O! I do not intend to divorce her. I have tried to talk with her about this. She makes it quite clear that the only way this would happen would be in an ugly court situation. Not going to happen! She feels I owe her 1/2 of everything I spent my whole life earning! And, she refuses to take any offers of a reasonable nature. She will only settle after one of those nasty divorces she has seen in the movies. And, she threatens things in my sleep, if I try it!

So, as I read it, if we are married we must either do this I-751 together, or she must request a waiver because she is divorced, and/ or prove abuse from the American citizen!

So, after her green card expires, what next?

tom

Sorry but you two are married and when there is a divorce, depending on the state, settlements can be proscribed by the court.

If she is deported, she will still be married to you. She may be able to intiate divorce proceedings on her own, especially when she finds out about the bait and switch you are describing. I would talk immediately with a good divorce attorney to see what your options are now to protect your assets.

[rogerj 0]

I see that Atlanta is your local USCIS office. If you are indeed in Georgia, and if you divorce her, she is only entitled to half of assetts accumulated during your marriage. Prior existing assetts are excluded (spoken with experience). However, be careful with any assetts she may have access to meanwhile. My ex took $228,000 without my knowledge, just before the divorce. Protect your "####"etts!

[Brit Abroad 166]

I think you're missing the obvious starting point.

What does she actually want? Obviously there is something, whether she can articulate it or not. The fact that she won't leave, she's physically and verbally violent towards you and she's threatening to take all you have if you divorce her tends to indicate that she wants to be with you. She could remove conditions on her own by divorce so it seems unusual that she would be behaving this way to gain legal status.

Nobody knows the ins and outs of your relationship except the two of you, but could this be about insecurity? Obviously, the girl is messed up with a childhood like that and maybe she's just not wired the right way to be able to communicate what it is that she does want from you.

Quite frankly, sit her down and talk to her. Make a list of all the options she has, with or without you, and find out just what is driving her behaviour.

Of course, everyone here could be assuming that you're the victim, instead of suggesting that maybe you've had a change of heart and withdrawn from her, leaving her in a miserable pit that she doesn't know how to crawl out of. Every story has at least two sides. Maybe you're coming at this one from the wrong angle. Be the better person and work for a solution that gives her some peace of mind. If you ever gave a damn about the person you married, you owe her that much at least.

[Jimmy n Regine 0]

Hi, Tom,

I've read your post, twice, and went through all the responses. Now my head hurts and that's a sure indicator that I didn't like much of what I read. So here's my take on it.

From your responses to some of the posts I understand that you want that woman out of your life, preferably as far away from your hometown as possible, preferably back to the streets of Brazil.

Therefore, instead of giving you a lecture on how she can remove conditions on her own or on how VAWA works and on how you are committed to her since you married her, I'll be getting right to the important part: the battle plan!

In order to remove the condition of her residence (being happily married to you all this time), you both have to file the I-751 jointly. Slightly simplified for practical purposes, she can only remove the condition on her own if you drop dead, or abused or divorced her. She cannot file for ROC alone unless one of the three aforementioned conditions exist.

Therefore, do not help her with the I-751. Remove every bit of evidence showing that you guys ever lived together. Do not divorce her until she's in handcuffs, waiting for her ride to Brazil. Without you being dead, being documented as an spousal abuser, and without divorce, she has entered the twilight zone of the I-751 . . . the land of nothing.

She can't file, at least not successfully, and without filing, USCIS will eventually start removal conditions. She will have a chance to face an immigration judge and could, theoretically, ask for the deportation proceedings to be put on hold until she's divorced. That, however, is your chance to inform the judge about her fraudulent nature.

Now . . . of course she will go gagga once she realizes that you won't help her. So at one point in time you'll have to stay somewhere else, from where you'll tell her, on the phone, not in person. At the same time you'll have somebody else coming to your house, ringing the door bell a few minutes later, and if she's going psycho this person will call the cops to document her actions and the damage.

With the police report, you'll write a letter to USICS with her Alien number and report that you found out that she is a fraudster, totally psycho, and that you are afraid she would do you harm.

Using the same report, you'll get a restraining order against her and move her out of your house.

From there on all you do is have to wait until she'll be removed.

Wish you the best.

Finally, some great advice! I thank you all. But, you all assume that she, like most sane people, will listen and reason what is best for her situation. 1 - She never listens to anything I begin to say to her. 2 - She does not care about tomorrow. She only thinks about "right now!" She has apologized for her behavior so oftern, only to be cursing up a storm 1 hour later.

This one gave some good sensible advice. I have no intention of giving her the receipt for the empty package. And, I do not intend to make a copy.

She does not speak English well enough to fill out a job application. She just got a driver liscense, after 2 years of trying. And, she has no clue of how to do anything with USCIS. I have done it all!

But, she now has a friend from Brazil, who secretly hates her USC husband, and tells her that she can do anything she wants. She does not need a USC husband

The lady has been in the US for more than 15 years, with a husband she hates.

No, I like this plan!

tom

[Anh map 2,098]

Please remember that your I-864 obligations do not end with divorce or lapsing of green card. If she uses a means tested benefit you are still liable under the Affidavit of Support.

Brother TBoneTx hit the nail in the head. You want to document any behavior that you have alleged.

[mozplay 29]

You all do realize that you are trying to help this man screw over his functionally illiterate wife because he does not like her behaviour when there are MANY more responsible avenues he could be taking?!?!!? NOBODY just wakes up and goes off the deep end for no reason - seriously - this woman was not just born of demon spawn or anything.

I really do hope that this thread gets moved to the "Major Effects" forum so that he can get more constructive advice that he will perhaps listen to. That, or move it to OT because it's fairly pathetic now.