Where fiance stays after POE, before wedding

[boisestate 0]

While time apart is difficult and we're all doing the immigration/visa process to be with the one we love, how are people handling the time between the POE and the actual wedding? Obviously there is likely to be a flurry of planning for wedding/honeymoon, as well as adjusting to your life together if you have never previously lived together.

My girlfriend and I lived in the same city for a year and a half, but have never lived together under the same roof. Due to religious and traditional influences, we'd like to avoid living together prior to the actual marriage. It's kind of hard to pinpoint a wedding date until the time gets a lot closer (we just filed the K1 last week), so it's likely she ends up in the US for a month or two prior to the marriage.

Are most people living together prior to getting married? Anyone doing anything else?

I just moved to a new area, so don't really know anyone that I could ask to "host" her between POE and the wedding. Hotel would be prohibitively expensive. Another option could be to have her come up just prior to the wedding (wait in her country), but that's no fun!

Ideas?

[Twisted K 2]

that is a good question. when we were going the k1 route, my mom was going to have my then fiance stay with her until marriage. do you have any relatives that live remotely close to your new town? maybe find a church or something that might be able to assist. sometimes they can point u to the right direction.

[boisestate 0]

I'm in Sacramento. I have a cousin in LA (1 hour nonstop flight away), and her best friend also lives in the LA area. Flying back and forth would suck, and honestly staying with someone for a month or two is quite a burden to put on someone...

[Otto 83]

Ideas?

She could stay at your place while you go bunk with a buddy - am sure you'll find someone by the time the visa comes around. Or you could have a civil marriage right away and have the big ceremonial wedding later on.

Edited November 11, 2009 by Otto und Karin

[Nik+Heather 121]

Nik came in a little over a week before the wedding. As his parents and other family followed shortly after (for the wedding), we all just stayed at my parents. I slept in my sister's room, and he and the best man stayed in the guest house at the next-door neighbors.

Maybe similar will work for you? If no nearby family etc, can she stay in a guest room in your place? You could make that a bit romantic - pick her up for "dates" Hehe..

Or, you say you want to do this for religious reasons - what about asking someone from your place of worship? Is there a women's club or something? They might make things special for her if she has no friends or relatives coming too...I know my mother has willingly (and warmly) hosted several near-strangers simply because of her church associations.

Edited because I liked Otto's suggestion: If she stays at your place, you'll be less of a burden on who you are stayng with - because you'll be leaving for work and such every day - less "entertainment" burden. Plus your acquaintances will know you better. (duh, Heather)

I would caution you about waiting two months for marriage - we are finding several road blocks for us to filing (like - 3 weeks to get a certified copy of the marriage license!!!), and we are glad for having most of the 90 day window available.

Edited November 11, 2009 by Nik+Heather

[DoneWaiting 15]

well, if i was you i would go to the court house the very next day and get marry.. then you will be free to live with her. Nothing wrong with a civil ceremony. But, i would not know how i will tell my fiancee, she cant live with me after i move you 1000 miles away from her home country, family and friends. Even if i had relatives around me..

I will do a civil ceremony here, and had promised my fiancee in our first trip to brazil we will celebrate our marriage with her family and friends as they cant be here.

Edited November 11, 2009 by ImWaiting

[boisestate 0]

Thanks for the ideas. Some of those might just work.

Regarding the 90 day thing, we just have to be married in 90 days, not file for AOS, right? After the wedding we'll go on a honeymoon (1 week), wait for the certified marriage certificate (2 weeks?), and so may not file for AOS for a month. I thought we just had to be married within the 90 days, not necessarily file for AOS by that time.

There is an incentive obviously to get the AOS filed to get AP and EAD sooner, but is there a 90 day deadline?

[payxibka 10,045]

While time apart is difficult and we're all doing the immigration/visa process to be with the one we love, how are people handling the time between the POE and the actual wedding? Obviously there is likely to be a flurry of planning for wedding/honeymoon, as well as adjusting to your life together if you have never previously lived together.

My girlfriend and I lived in the same city for a year and a half, but have never lived together under the same roof. Due to religious and traditional influences, we'd like to avoid living together prior to the actual marriage. It's kind of hard to pinpoint a wedding date until the time gets a lot closer (we just filed the K1 last week), so it's likely she ends up in the US for a month or two prior to the marriage.

Are most people living together prior to getting married? Anyone doing anything else?

I just moved to a new area, so don't really know anyone that I could ask to "host" her between POE and the wedding. Hotel would be prohibitively expensive. Another option could be to have her come up just prior to the wedding (wait in her country), but that's no fun!

Ideas?

I really don't see an immigration issue with her living apart from you before the wedding. Your next immigration filing will be after marriage and I assume will be filed with her new permanent address being the same as yours.

[Nik+Heather 121]

Thanks for the ideas. Some of those might just work.

Regarding the 90 day thing, we just have to be married in 90 days, not file for AOS, right? After the wedding we'll go on a honeymoon (1 week), wait for the certified marriage certificate (2 weeks?), and so may not file for AOS for a month. I thought we just had to be married within the 90 days, not necessarily file for AOS by that time.

There is an incentive obviously to get the AOS filed to get AP and EAD sooner, but is there a 90 day deadline?

It is strongly recommended that you have filed and received NOA1 for AOS before the 90 days ends. If the 90 days ends and you don't have that, she is out of status. LOTS of people will have no issue with this, but just a few might have a run in with someone (law enforcement) who will make things difficult for them. It's not something that you want to plan for if you can help it. Plus, that's 2 or 3 months not able to work before you file, and another 3 or so months after you file waiting for EAD.

[boisestate 0]

Nik/Heather: thanks for the info. That makes sense, it's probably a good idea to get that squared away as soon as possible. What proof do you have with the AOS filing that you're not 'out of status'? Do you carry around a copy of the AOS filing and the NOA1?

[Nik+Heather 121]

Nik/Heather: thanks for the info. That makes sense, it's probably a good idea to get that squared away as soon as possible. What proof do you have with the AOS filing that you're not 'out of status'? Do you carry around a copy of the AOS filing and the NOA1?

Well, I think I'll ask Nik to carry a copy of NOA1 with him - but then again, we are dealing with Sheriff Joe...Once you have filed, her status will be "pending" which is a legal status, and NOA1 is the proof of that. The whole filing might be a little too burdensome compared with one folded sheet of paper.

[lucyrich 20]

Thanks for the ideas. Some of those might just work.

Regarding the 90 day thing, we just have to be married in 90 days, not file for AOS, right? After the wedding we'll go on a honeymoon (1 week), wait for the certified marriage certificate (2 weeks?), and so may not file for AOS for a month. I thought we just had to be married within the 90 days, not necessarily file for AOS by that time.

There is an incentive obviously to get the AOS filed to get AP and EAD sooner, but is there a 90 day deadline?

First, I hope the honeymoon doesn't involve crossing international borders.

After the 90 days expires, she will be out of status. If you file for AOS a few weeks later, based on a marriage that happened before the 90 day timeline, the AOS will not have any trouble being approved (at least no trouble due to being past 90 days -- I'm assuming there will be no other unrelated problems regarding the AOS).

The problem is that, after the 90 days expires, and before you have a NOA1 saying you've applied for AOS, she will be out of status. If she comes into contact with immigration authorities during that window of time, she could have some difficulty. I'd guess it's unlikely she'll run into immigration authorities, but it's prudent to file AOS as soon as practical, and to be careful to avoid behavior that might bring her into contact with ICE officials during the out of status time.

[pushbrk 12,882]

Thanks for the ideas. Some of those might just work.

Regarding the 90 day thing, we just have to be married in 90 days, not file for AOS, right? After the wedding we'll go on a honeymoon (1 week), wait for the certified marriage certificate (2 weeks?), and so may not file for AOS for a month. I thought we just had to be married within the 90 days, not necessarily file for AOS by that time.

There is an incentive obviously to get the AOS filed to get AP and EAD sooner, but is there a 90 day deadline?

You have the right attitude. No, there is not a deadline to file AOS but the sooner the better. The 90 days is to get married. I can see the extra motivation living in Sheriff Joe's County but otherwise I wouldn't stress over it.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

While time apart is difficult and we're all doing the immigration/visa process to be with the one we love, how are people handling the time between the POE and the actual wedding? Obviously there is likely to be a flurry of planning for wedding/honeymoon, as well as adjusting to your life together if you have never previously lived together.

My girlfriend and I lived in the same city for a year and a half, but have never lived together under the same roof. Due to religious and traditional influences, we'd like to avoid living together prior to the actual marriage. It's kind of hard to pinpoint a wedding date until the time gets a lot closer (we just filed the K1 last week), so it's likely she ends up in the US for a month or two prior to the marriage.

Are most people living together prior to getting married? Anyone doing anything else?

I just moved to a new area, so don't really know anyone that I could ask to "host" her between POE and the wedding. Hotel would be prohibitively expensive. Another option could be to have her come up just prior to the wedding (wait in her country), but that's no fun!

Ideas?

How you handle it is your option. There is no requirement for your fiancee to live under the same roof before marriage. Maybe a youth Hostel?

If your religious beliefs are important to you, what is the problem with sleeping on the couch? Or a tent in the backyard. What religion forbids you being in the same home?

[rebeccajo 14]

Thanks for the ideas. Some of those might just work.

Regarding the 90 day thing, we just have to be married in 90 days, not file for AOS, right? After the wedding we'll go on a honeymoon (1 week), wait for the certified marriage certificate (2 weeks?), and so may not file for AOS for a month. I thought we just had to be married within the 90 days, not necessarily file for AOS by that time.

There is an incentive obviously to get the AOS filed to get AP and EAD sooner, but is there a 90 day deadline?

You have the right attitude. No, there is not a deadline to file AOS but the sooner the better. The 90 days is to get married. I can see the extra motivation living in Sheriff Joe's County but otherwise I wouldn't stress over it.

If your spouse files their adjustment before their I-94 expires, then they have no 'gap' where they are out of status. They are under 'color of law' with their adjustment prior to expiration of the I94, and some legal experts consider this to be a 'better' position to have filed from should a rare problem crop up with the adjustment.