Explaining Visa process to friends and relatives

[Mintchip 0]

I was sitting at the airport waiting for my flight in tears after getting married and leaving pakistan and my hubby behind some old lady came over and asked me where are you going?? I said home I just got married she said why isn't your husband coming with you??? She told me that since I am a US citizen I just need to show my passport to the pakistan embassy and bring my hubby to the USA i was like ok lady lolz

It never ceases to amaze me the comments and "knowledge" people are so willing to share, lol.

Don't know why, but after reading all of these replies, I got to thinking......do you or don't you tell people if you met on the internet? I used to think nothing of it, but learned the hard way that it's probably better not to. It certainly has a lot to do with the age of the person I'm talking to. If I tell my peers (early 50's) they raise an eyebrow and immediately think I'm crazy. Younger people are far more accepting, but I don't usually share that detail anymore.

[david'sgirl 134]

Don't know why, but after reading all of these replies, I got to thinking......do you or don't you tell people if you met on the internet? I used to think nothing of it, but learned the hard way that it's probably better not to. It certainly has a lot to do with the age of the person I'm talking to. If I tell my peers (early 50's) they raise an eyebrow and immediately think I'm crazy. Younger people are far more accepting, but I don't usually share that detail anymore.

I'm honest about it. We met by accident. I mean we were not looking for people on other sides of the ocean and at first we really thought it would just be a fun penpal type relationship. It became clear it was a lot more than that y the time we met face to face. I feel like we were meant to be and he says it was written in the stars and if someone else doubts us that is really not our problem. I figure people who genuinely care about you will see you are happy and be pleased and those who are not are probably not anyone we'll be having over for tea anytime soon.

[scotinmass 588]

I get asked all the time if I am a US citizen now cos my wife is! Like Duh! Nobody on either side seems to understand the process. I recently had my medical in London and even the people there who were going through the process didn't seem to get it and seemed surprised that I still had to get a visa when I was married to an American. I was asked if I had flown back from America for the medical.

America is a great place and I'm gonna enjoy living there but it has never been anything I considered doing until I fell in love with an American. It is not the goal for the rest of the world to one day live in the promised land. In the UK and western europe and many other parts of the world we have just as good a standard of living if not better than in America. It is annoying when people think that we are moving there for a better life. We move to be with our spouses/fiance(e)s and for no other reason. I wish everyone else could realise that and understand how difficult the visa process is but to be fair to them until I started this journey myself I knew nothing about it either so why should they?

[treehugger 23]

America is a great place and I'm gonna enjoy living there but it has never been anything I considered doing until I fell in love with an American. It is not the goal for the rest of the world to one day live in the promised land. In the UK and western europe and many other parts of the world we have just as good a standard of living if not better than in America. It is annoying when people think that we are moving there for a better life. We move to be with our spouses/fiance(e)s and for no other reason. I wish everyone else could realise that and understand how difficult the visa process is but to be fair to them until I started this journey myself I knew nothing about it either so why should they?

Word for word spot on!! To be fair, it did used to be different - eg an American friend in his forties with a non-American mother told me that not only did his mum become a US citizen immediately upon marriage, but that a year later brought over all her family from China with no fuss whatsoever. I can't imagine his family are unique, and many Americans will have similar experiences, they just won't know that things have changed.

Let's be honest, how familiar are we with the same in our respective countries...eg how many people know that for an overseas resident to marry in the UK they need to apply for one of two special visas, and that this was introduced only in the past few years?

[david'sgirl 134]

I get asked all the time if I am a US citizen now cos my wife is! Like Duh! Nobody on either side seems to understand the process. I recently had my medical in London and even the people there who were going through the process didn't seem to get it and seemed surprised that I still had to get a visa when I was married to an American. I was asked if I had flown back from America for the medical.

America is a great place and I'm gonna enjoy living there but it has never been anything I considered doing until I fell in love with an American. It is not the goal for the rest of the world to one day live in the promised land. In the UK and western europe and many other parts of the world we have just as good a standard of living if not better than in America. It is annoying when people think that we are moving there for a better life. We move to be with our spouses/fiance(e)s and for no other reason. I wish everyone else could realise that and understand how difficult the visa process is but to be fair to them until I started this journey myself I knew nothing about it either so why should they?

It is still frustrating to me to have to defend you and our relationship simply because you are not American. The stupid assumption seems to be if you really loved me you would be living here already so I must be getting taken advantage of in some way. I bite my tongue a lot! (which is so not easy for me to do!) I figure once you are here and people see us together all doubs will disappear. It really bothers me that no one seems to realise the depth of the sacrifice you are making for me, for us. I see it tho and I know how lucky and blessed I am.

[doghandler 2]

It has been 7 months since my husband and I started our Visa process so he can move from the UK to the USA. I have been continually asked with complete amazement why it is taking so long. This question comes from friends and relatives who are appalled that it is so difficult for my spouse to move here. I'm getting tired of explaining it to them over and over. The other night, one of my friends came right out and said, "I don't think your husband is doing enough to make this move happen!" I was quite annoyed as I attempted to explain it to her once again. Is anyone else getting frustrated with the "well meaning" people in their lives?

Hello lovely VJ people!

Well, I just hope my post will relieve some of your frustrations on this subject with being able to laugh at my experience. It's not my friends and relatives who frustrate me with any misinformed ideas about the visa process - it's the love of my life Mr US Citizen fiance himself, god love him! We are only at the early stages, got our NOA1, but as I'm the paperwork person in our relationship, I'm the one "doing the visa" and taken the time to do the research and reading up.

So, Mr US Citizen finance, god love him, is the one shouting at me (only 2 weeks after our NOA1 !!) "Have we been approved yet? Do you think we'll get it today? Did you do something wrong on the application? You'll be able to move over by Christmas, though, won't you? What do you mean, no? What do you mean we won't know how long we have to wait? That's ridiculous! Are you sure you've got your facts straight, honey?"

And, the biggest laugh has to be, he works in law enforcement, 22 years in the job, and he himself had no idea this "dang visa thing" as he calls, is the way it is!

I am a UK civil servant so he also seems to think that cos he's a cop and I work for the UK government that "well, USCIS will just look at our application and send you the visa in the post the next day, no?" What do you mean, no? Why not? I think you've got this all wrong, honey, it can't possibly take THAT LONG! You must be reading some other countries fiance visa process, cos what you're telling me can't be my country's!

And he did see that Sandra Bullock movie where she just walks into USICS, and he obviously watched that thinking he was watching a fly-on-the-wall documentary as opposed to Hollywood nonsense and seems to think I can waltz into the London Embassy, just whenever I'm passing, to "ask them when we're gonna get it".

If I wasn't madly in love with him, I'd want to strangle him (metaphorically, of course)! I've now got him on very steep learning curve with a "wake up and smell the coffee, baby" email with a link to VJ.

We don't choose who we fall in love with. And none of us would choose this "dang visa thing", the stress, the anxiety, the waiting, the separation, the uprooting, the selling houses, the tearful goodbyes to friends and families, the putting 2 dogs on planes (at the cost of $6000), the nightmare of it all, when we were quite happy in our own country.

Just thanking you all on VJ, for the invaluable information, for the sharing, the support, and for the knowing we are all in the same boat and not one of us is more important than anyone else. I am grateful for that. Hope to share a few good laughs on our road together to break the tension and fortify troop morale! Best wishes to you all x

[FinnLove 0]

It has been 7 months since my husband and I started our Visa process so he can move from the UK to the USA. I have been continually asked with complete amazement why it is taking so long. This question comes from friends and relatives who are appalled that it is so difficult for my spouse to move here. I'm getting tired of explaining it to them over and over. The other night, one of my friends came right out and said, "I don't think your husband is doing enough to make this move happen!" I was quite annoyed as I attempted to explain it to her once again. Is anyone else getting frustrated with the "well meaning" people in their lives?

Hello lovely VJ people!

Well, I just hope my post will relieve some of your frustrations on this subject with being able to laugh at my experience. It's not my friends and relatives who frustrate me with any misinformed ideas about the visa process - it's the love of my life Mr US Citizen fiance himself, god love him! We are only at the early stages, got our NOA1, but as I'm the paperwork person in our relationship, I'm the one "doing the visa" and taken the time to do the research and reading up.

So, Mr US Citizen finance, god love him, is the one shouting at me (only 2 weeks after our NOA1 !!) "Have we been approved yet? Do you think we'll get it today? Did you do something wrong on the application? You'll be able to move over by Christmas, though, won't you? What do you mean, no? What do you mean we won't know how long we have to wait? That's ridiculous! Are you sure you've got your facts straight, honey?"

And, the biggest laugh has to be, he works in law enforcement, 22 years in the job, and he himself had no idea this "dang visa thing" as he calls, is the way it is!

I am a UK civil servant so he also seems to think that cos he's a cop and I work for the UK government that "well, USCIS will just look at our application and send you the visa in the post the next day, no?" What do you mean, no? Why not? I think you've got this all wrong, honey, it can't possibly take THAT LONG! You must be reading some other countries fiance visa process, cos what you're telling me can't be my country's!

And he did see that Sandra Bullock movie where she just walks into USICS, and he obviously watched that thinking he was watching a fly-on-the-wall documentary as opposed to Hollywood nonsense and seems to think I can waltz into the London Embassy, just whenever I'm passing, to "ask them when we're gonna get it".

If I wasn't madly in love with him, I'd want to strangle him (metaphorically, of course)! I've now got him on very steep learning curve with a "wake up and smell the coffee, baby" email with a link to VJ.

We don't choose who we fall in love with. And none of us would choose this "dang visa thing", the stress, the anxiety, the waiting, the separation, the uprooting, the selling houses, the tearful goodbyes to friends and families, the putting 2 dogs on planes (at the cost of $6000), the nightmare of it all, when we were quite happy in our own country.

Just thanking you all on VJ, for the invaluable information, for the sharing, the support, and for the knowing we are all in the same boat and not one of us is more important than anyone else. I am grateful for that. Hope to share a few good laughs on our road together to break the tension and fortify troop morale! Best wishes to you all x

That's so funny! I can assure you that people in your hubby's field don't get rushed through the process! Thanks for the funny post-good luck with everything!!!

[scotinmass 588]

It has been 7 months since my husband and I started our Visa process so he can move from the UK to the USA. I have been continually asked with complete amazement why it is taking so long. This question comes from friends and relatives who are appalled that it is so difficult for my spouse to move here. I'm getting tired of explaining it to them over and over. The other night, one of my friends came right out and said, "I don't think your husband is doing enough to make this move happen!" I was quite annoyed as I attempted to explain it to her once again. Is anyone else getting frustrated with the "well meaning" people in their lives?

Hello lovely VJ people!

Well, I just hope my post will relieve some of your frustrations on this subject with being able to laugh at my experience. It's not my friends and relatives who frustrate me with any misinformed ideas about the visa process - it's the love of my life Mr US Citizen fiance himself, god love him! We are only at the early stages, got our NOA1, but as I'm the paperwork person in our relationship, I'm the one "doing the visa" and taken the time to do the research and reading up.

So, Mr US Citizen finance, god love him, is the one shouting at me (only 2 weeks after our NOA1 !!) "Have we been approved yet? Do you think we'll get it today? Did you do something wrong on the application? You'll be able to move over by Christmas, though, won't you? What do you mean, no? What do you mean we won't know how long we have to wait? That's ridiculous! Are you sure you've got your facts straight, honey?"

And, the biggest laugh has to be, he works in law enforcement, 22 years in the job, and he himself had no idea this "dang visa thing" as he calls, is the way it is!

I am a UK civil servant so he also seems to think that cos he's a cop and I work for the UK government that "well, USCIS will just look at our application and send you the visa in the post the next day, no?" What do you mean, no? Why not? I think you've got this all wrong, honey, it can't possibly take THAT LONG! You must be reading some other countries fiance visa process, cos what you're telling me can't be my country's!

And he did see that Sandra Bullock movie where she just walks into USICS, and he obviously watched that thinking he was watching a fly-on-the-wall documentary as opposed to Hollywood nonsense and seems to think I can waltz into the London Embassy, just whenever I'm passing, to "ask them when we're gonna get it".

If I wasn't madly in love with him, I'd want to strangle him (metaphorically, of course)! I've now got him on very steep learning curve with a "wake up and smell the coffee, baby" email with a link to VJ.

We don't choose who we fall in love with. And none of us would choose this "dang visa thing", the stress, the anxiety, the waiting, the separation, the uprooting, the selling houses, the tearful goodbyes to friends and families, the putting 2 dogs on planes (at the cost of $6000), the nightmare of it all, when we were quite happy in our own country.

Just thanking you all on VJ, for the invaluable information, for the sharing, the support, and for the knowing we are all in the same boat and not one of us is more important than anyone else. I am grateful for that. Hope to share a few good laughs on our road together to break the tension and fortify troop morale! Best wishes to you all x

$6000!! Do you realise it would be quite considerably cheaper to take the dogs for a long drive, let them out the car and drive away very fast?

[david'sgirl 134]

It has been 7 months since my husband and I started our Visa process so he can move from the UK to the USA. I have been continually asked with complete amazement why it is taking so long. This question comes from friends and relatives who are appalled that it is so difficult for my spouse to move here. I'm getting tired of explaining it to them over and over. The other night, one of my friends came right out and said, "I don't think your husband is doing enough to make this move happen!" I was quite annoyed as I attempted to explain it to her once again. Is anyone else getting frustrated with the "well meaning" people in their lives?

Hello lovely VJ people!

Well, I just hope my post will relieve some of your frustrations on this subject with being able to laugh at my experience. It's not my friends and relatives who frustrate me with any misinformed ideas about the visa process - it's the love of my life Mr US Citizen fiance himself, god love him! We are only at the early stages, got our NOA1, but as I'm the paperwork person in our relationship, I'm the one "doing the visa" and taken the time to do the research and reading up.

So, Mr US Citizen finance, god love him, is the one shouting at me (only 2 weeks after our NOA1 !!) "Have we been approved yet? Do you think we'll get it today? Did you do something wrong on the application? You'll be able to move over by Christmas, though, won't you? What do you mean, no? What do you mean we won't know how long we have to wait? That's ridiculous! Are you sure you've got your facts straight, honey?"

And, the biggest laugh has to be, he works in law enforcement, 22 years in the job, and he himself had no idea this "dang visa thing" as he calls, is the way it is!

I am a UK civil servant so he also seems to think that cos he's a cop and I work for the UK government that "well, USCIS will just look at our application and send you the visa in the post the next day, no?" What do you mean, no? Why not? I think you've got this all wrong, honey, it can't possibly take THAT LONG! You must be reading some other countries fiance visa process, cos what you're telling me can't be my country's!

And he did see that Sandra Bullock movie where she just walks into USICS, and he obviously watched that thinking he was watching a fly-on-the-wall documentary as opposed to Hollywood nonsense and seems to think I can waltz into the London Embassy, just whenever I'm passing, to "ask them when we're gonna get it".

If I wasn't madly in love with him, I'd want to strangle him (metaphorically, of course)! I've now got him on very steep learning curve with a "wake up and smell the coffee, baby" email with a link to VJ.

We don't choose who we fall in love with. And none of us would choose this "dang visa thing", the stress, the anxiety, the waiting, the separation, the uprooting, the selling houses, the tearful goodbyes to friends and families, the putting 2 dogs on planes (at the cost of $6000), the nightmare of it all, when we were quite happy in our own country.

Just thanking you all on VJ, for the invaluable information, for the sharing, the support, and for the knowing we are all in the same boat and not one of us is more important than anyone else. I am grateful for that. Hope to share a few good laughs on our road together to break the tension and fortify troop morale! Best wishes to you all x

$6000!! Do you realise it would be quite considerably cheaper to take the dogs for a long drive, let them out the car and drive away very fast?

You are so mean.

[david'sgirl 134]

It has been 7 months since my husband and I started our Visa process so he can move from the UK to the USA. I have been continually asked with complete amazement why it is taking so long. This question comes from friends and relatives who are appalled that it is so difficult for my spouse to move here. I'm getting tired of explaining it to them over and over. The other night, one of my friends came right out and said, "I don't think your husband is doing enough to make this move happen!" I was quite annoyed as I attempted to explain it to her once again. Is anyone else getting frustrated with the "well meaning" people in their lives?

Hello lovely VJ people!

Well, I just hope my post will relieve some of your frustrations on this subject with being able to laugh at my experience. It's not my friends and relatives who frustrate me with any misinformed ideas about the visa process - it's the love of my life Mr US Citizen fiance himself, god love him! We are only at the early stages, got our NOA1, but as I'm the paperwork person in our relationship, I'm the one "doing the visa" and taken the time to do the research and reading up.

So, Mr US Citizen finance, god love him, is the one shouting at me (only 2 weeks after our NOA1 !!) "Have we been approved yet? Do you think we'll get it today? Did you do something wrong on the application? You'll be able to move over by Christmas, though, won't you? What do you mean, no? What do you mean we won't know how long we have to wait? That's ridiculous! Are you sure you've got your facts straight, honey?"

And, the biggest laugh has to be, he works in law enforcement, 22 years in the job, and he himself had no idea this "dang visa thing" as he calls, is the way it is!

I am a UK civil servant so he also seems to think that cos he's a cop and I work for the UK government that "well, USCIS will just look at our application and send you the visa in the post the next day, no?" What do you mean, no? Why not? I think you've got this all wrong, honey, it can't possibly take THAT LONG! You must be reading some other countries fiance visa process, cos what you're telling me can't be my country's!

And he did see that Sandra Bullock movie where she just walks into USICS, and he obviously watched that thinking he was watching a fly-on-the-wall documentary as opposed to Hollywood nonsense and seems to think I can waltz into the London Embassy, just whenever I'm passing, to "ask them when we're gonna get it".

If I wasn't madly in love with him, I'd want to strangle him (metaphorically, of course)! I've now got him on very steep learning curve with a "wake up and smell the coffee, baby" email with a link to VJ.

We don't choose who we fall in love with. And none of us would choose this "dang visa thing", the stress, the anxiety, the waiting, the separation, the uprooting, the selling houses, the tearful goodbyes to friends and families, the putting 2 dogs on planes (at the cost of $6000), the nightmare of it all, when we were quite happy in our own country.

Just thanking you all on VJ, for the invaluable information, for the sharing, the support, and for the knowing we are all in the same boat and not one of us is more important than anyone else. I am grateful for that. Hope to share a few good laughs on our road together to break the tension and fortify troop morale! Best wishes to you all x

Hopefully once he starts reading Mr US Citizen fiance, god love him, will realize that it is going to be a bit longer a process than he imagines. Best of luck to you both.

[sachinky 465]

Ohmygoodness! My husband is the exact same way. "BUT I am a US citizen. But I LOVE you. But you're my WIFE. Who would DARE keep us apart? What do you mean it doesn't MATTER?"

I lost him somewhere along the way while trying to explain the NVC stage.

Edited November 23, 2009 by sachinky

[david'sgirl 134]

Ohmygoodness! My husband is the exact same way. "BUT I am a US citizen. But I LOVE you. But you're my WIFE. Who would DARE keep us apart? What do you mean it doesn't MATTER?"

I lost him somewhere along the way while trying to explain the NVC stage.

I think the USCIS and NVC are probably too jaded by now to care if we are in love or realize how difficult the process can be on relationships. Maybe it is ll part of it. Like a test to weed out the ones who arent real. Who the heck would go through all of this if it wasnt the real thing? You would have to be bonkers!