Explaining Visa process to friends and relatives

[Ak+Tk 0]

And if I hear "OH, I though since you two where married he automatically gets citizenship" one more time I thought I would shove a shoe where the sun dont shine!!!

Oh yeah, I get that one all the time...so very annoying!

oh laaaaawd

i have resorted to giving brief vague answers when ppl ask

and i do not volunteer info

i think most ppl mean well but man it is so annoying

and the ironic thing is ppl think our process takes forever, and if they knew what other family members in the immigration system go through in waiting time they'd see ours is a breeze relatively

HEY EVERYONE I SO AGREE WITH THIS TOPIC!

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

STAY STRONG AND ALWAYS COUNT ON YOUR VJ FAMILY WHEN YOU NEED THAT EXTRA SUPPORT!

TASHA

[Mandy P 3]

YES! I get frustrated. Very much so. My fiance and I have to talk quite often in front of my sister because we car pool to work together and those are the times when we can both talk. She said to me yesterday and today "You two have the same conversation a lot. Are you sure he listens to you?" I said yes he listens BUT the process is complicated and English is his 4TH language. So I re-explain things a lot so that I'm sure he understands. Also, each tiny step to us is a big deal.... to her, it sounds like the same thing over and over. I also have friends who don't understand. They say things like "Can't he just come to visit?" and "Why don't you just go to Vegas and get married?". I think movies misrepresent how things work and so people just think that you can easily and openly just move from country to country with no problems. Like you can just decide you want to live in Germany, so you just go there and find a job and live and work. They don't understand that there is a process, not just in the USA but EVERYWHERE.

[Nik+Heather 121]

Usually I say in a long-suffering tone (meant to be funny) about how we have to go through a bureaucratic process with three different agencies, and THEN we have to start over again once he gets here.

Alternatively, I just start telling them (in the Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? teacher voice) about the whole process. About the time I get to NOA1, they stop me and say, OK, I get it....

Right now we keep getting the "Why isn't he working yet" questions. Argh.

[Mintchip 0]

Big THANKS to everyone who is dealing with these same situations and shared their experiences and tips! I'm greatful for all of you in VJ who can so strongly identify with how I'm feeling. Like others, I do realize that no one knows what it's really like unless they've been through it. However, much of the time people act as though there is some other reason that your SO isn't here already. I think that is what annoys me more than repeating the explanation. Thanks for the support.

[illnevergetthis 5]

Big THANKS to everyone who is dealing with these same situations and shared their experiences and tips! I'm greatful for all of you in VJ who can so strongly identify with how I'm feeling. Like others, I do realize that no one knows what it's really like unless they've been through it. However, much of the time people act as though there is some other reason that your SO isn't here already. I think that is what annoys me more than repeating the explanation. Thanks for the support.

I have heard it all, especially the part about there being some OTHER reason he isn't here yet. I even had people tell others that the our government won't allow him to come here. Of course without getting into the ugly details of that, they are convinced it is because he is from the Middle East and Muslim.

I have a neighbor/landlord that keeps insisting that his government must be keeping him there and that he isn't telling me everything (he is always a conspiracy theorist.)

Then my co-workers are all giving me the sympathetic eye and the backrub with all the questions... Is there still no word? Have you heard any news? How much longer is this going to take? Why can't he just come? Etc. Etc. Etc.

I had someone tell me that they were proud of me doing this the legal way. Really, do you know so little about me that you would think that I would do it any other way?

I really enjoyed reading these post. Hopefully none of us will have to answer these questions much longer. Our SO's will be here and they will get jobs.

[Mintchip 0]

Big THANKS to everyone who is dealing with these same situations and shared their experiences and tips! I'm greatful for all of you in VJ who can so strongly identify with how I'm feeling. Like others, I do realize that no one knows what it's really like unless they've been through it. However, much of the time people act as though there is some other reason that your SO isn't here already. I think that is what annoys me more than repeating the explanation. Thanks for the support.

I have heard it all, especially the part about there being some OTHER reason he isn't here yet. I even had people tell others that the our government won't allow him to come here. Of course without getting into the ugly details of that, they are convinced it is because he is from the Middle East and Muslim.

I have a neighbor/landlord that keeps insisting that his government must be keeping him there and that he isn't telling me everything (he is always a conspiracy theorist.)

Then my co-workers are all giving me the sympathetic eye and the backrub with all the questions... Is there still no word? Have you heard any news? How much longer is this going to take? Why can't he just come? Etc. Etc. Etc.

I had someone tell me that they were proud of me doing this the legal way. Really, do you know so little about me that you would think that I would do it any other way?

I really enjoyed reading these post. Hopefully none of us will have to answer these questions much longer. Our SO's will be here and they will get jobs.

AND I haven't even told anyone that we will most likely need to apply for a waiver as well! I don't want anyone judging him when they don't even know him yet, and that's exactly what will happen.

Last summer, when I first returned to the US after living with him in the UK for 3.5 years, rumors got back to me that the marriage didn't work out and that's why I had moved back. I couldn't believe my ears!

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Big THANKS to everyone who is dealing with these same situations and shared their experiences and tips! I'm greatful for all of you in VJ who can so strongly identify with how I'm feeling. Like others, I do realize that no one knows what it's really like unless they've been through it. However, much of the time people act as though there is some other reason that your SO isn't here already. I think that is what annoys me more than repeating the explanation. Thanks for the support.

I have heard it all, especially the part about there being some OTHER reason he isn't here yet. I even had people tell others that the our government won't allow him to come here. Of course without getting into the ugly details of that, they are convinced it is because he is from the Middle East and Muslim.

I have a neighbor/landlord that keeps insisting that his government must be keeping him there and that he isn't telling me everything (he is always a conspiracy theorist.)

Then my co-workers are all giving me the sympathetic eye and the backrub with all the questions... Is there still no word? Have you heard any news? How much longer is this going to take? Why can't he just come? Etc. Etc. Etc.

I had someone tell me that they were proud of me doing this the legal way. Really, do you know so little about me that you would think that I would do it any other way?

I really enjoyed reading these post. Hopefully none of us will have to answer these questions much longer. Our SO's will be here and they will get jobs.

AND I haven't even told anyone that we will most likely need to apply for a waiver as well! I don't want anyone judging him when they don't even know him yet, and that's exactly what will happen.

Last summer, when I first returned to the US after living with him in the UK for 3.5 years, rumors got back to me that the marriage didn't work out and that's why I had moved back. I couldn't believe my ears!

This process is difficult in any stage, you dont have to explain to anyone, besides, they wont understand unless they have walk down this nightmare path. This process can make or break a marriage, believe me I know.

Just keep your faith, and be nice to the one you love, most important!!

[FreddY2081 0]

Someone asked me how come if I have an american son Im not automaticly accepted hihihi....

Things like:"when you second baby will be born in the US you'll get automaticly a green card" .. so I ask :"WHY?" and the answer is "THEY HAVE TO GIVE IT TO YOU, THEY CANT SAY NO".... Just people doesnt look into it.. And noone like to read about anything they are not interested into...

[illnevergetthis 5]

Big THANKS to everyone who is dealing with these same situations and shared their experiences and tips! I'm greatful for all of you in VJ who can so strongly identify with how I'm feeling. Like others, I do realize that no one knows what it's really like unless they've been through it. However, much of the time people act as though there is some other reason that your SO isn't here already. I think that is what annoys me more than repeating the explanation. Thanks for the support.

I have heard it all, especially the part about there being some OTHER reason he isn't here yet. I even had people tell others that the our government won't allow him to come here. Of course without getting into the ugly details of that, they are convinced it is because he is from the Middle East and Muslim.

I have a neighbor/landlord that keeps insisting that his government must be keeping him there and that he isn't telling me everything (he is always a conspiracy theorist.)

Then my co-workers are all giving me the sympathetic eye and the backrub with all the questions... Is there still no word? Have you heard any news? How much longer is this going to take? Why can't he just come? Etc. Etc. Etc.

I had someone tell me that they were proud of me doing this the legal way. Really, do you know so little about me that you would think that I would do it any other way?

I really enjoyed reading these post. Hopefully none of us will have to answer these questions much longer. Our SO's will be here and they will get jobs.

AND I haven't even told anyone that we will most likely need to apply for a waiver as well! I don't want anyone judging him when they don't even know him yet, and that's exactly what will happen.

Last summer, when I first returned to the US after living with him in the UK for 3.5 years, rumors got back to me that the marriage didn't work out and that's why I had moved back. I couldn't believe my ears!

I wouldn't tell them about the waiver either. They will not understand and you are right mostly like make assumptions that are not true.

Sometimes, I tell the people that I work with that I am waiting on the U.S. government to judge my marriage and decide if they think that it is genuine. They looked completely shocked and ask, "they really do that." Yes, they do! They typically don't know what to say after that.

[kizza 1]

When people hear about the medical & vaccinations, police certificates, interview etc., I get a lot of "How come it's so complicated for you to go there"... like Im some special case. They always seem to know someone else who immigrated to the US and it was sooooo easy.

Also, being Canadian, people think it should be really easy for me, seeing as we have the NAFTA and all. Lots of misconceptions, that's for sure.

Someone was mentioning movies and how they can give people the impression that it is a lot simpler then it actually is. Have you seen the Proposal? Sandra Bullock's character walks into the USCIS offices, cuts in front of the line demanding a fiance visa and gets her appointment set up for the following Monday! I was screaming at the TV!!

Love the idea of carrying a flowhart or a banner!

Sorry, I dont really have any tips, but it felt good to vent a little!

[kizza 1]

Someone asked me how come if I have an american son Im not automaticly accepted hihihi....

Things like:"when you second baby will be born in the US you'll get automaticly a green card" .. so I ask :"WHY?" and the answer is "THEY HAVE TO GIVE IT TO YOU, THEY CANT SAY NO".... Just people doesnt look into it.. And noone like to read about anything they are not interested into...

An American I know accidentally got a Peruvian girl pregnant. She found out and told him right before she left to start law school in her country. I was shocked by the number of people who accused her of getting pregnant on purpose or lying about being pregnant, supposedly so she could automatically get her citizenship because the father would be American! I felt so sorry for the poor girl. Comments like "girls from these countries are dying to get pregnant from American men"... Appalling. I kind of feel sick writing this!

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

And if I hear "OH, I though since you two where married he automatically gets citizenship" one more time I thought I would shove a shoe where the sun dont shine!!!

Oh yeah, that one too! I hear all the time, "When is he going to get a job?' What's wrong if he doesn't get a job? I don't care!

I hear that one too. He cant even apply because we have no idea when he will get a green card,social sec # or be able to move. Would you hire someone who told you that at the interview? duh

oh yes he can apply. The IR1/CR1 stamp in his visa made him eligible to work the instant he set foot in the US.

[Nenita and David 1]

Someone asked me how come if I have an american son Im not automaticly accepted hihihi....

Things like:"when you second baby will be born in the US you'll get automaticly a green card" .. so I ask :"WHY?" and the answer is "THEY HAVE TO GIVE IT TO YOU, THEY CANT SAY NO".... Just people doesnt look into it.. And noone like to read about anything they are not interested into...

An American I know accidentally got a Peruvian girl pregnant. She found out and told him right before she left to start law school in her country. I was shocked by the number of people who accused her of getting pregnant on purpose or lying about being pregnant, supposedly so she could automatically get her citizenship because the father would be American! I felt so sorry for the poor girl. Comments like "girls from these countries are dying to get pregnant from American men"... Appalling. I kind of feel sick writing this!

This is the kind of thing that gets at me. A lot of Americans seem to think that everyone in the world born outside of the U.S. desperately wants to come here and will do anything to make that happen. It seems unfathomable to them that some people might actually be perfectly happy living in the country they were born and raised in.

People often ask me if my wife is happy to be coming here, and if she's always dreamed of coming to America. My wife is a very traditional Filipina (something I truly love about her, by the way), and is very close to her family and friends. We've talked before about how we wish I could come there to live with her instead, but it's not feasible right now. I can't imagine how my wife will react when she gets over here and hears people casually cursing in public. She's also never been so far from the people she loves before.

People don't seem to think about everything an immigrant gives up by coming to America - their entire life, for the most part!

[david'sgirl 134]

And if I hear "OH, I though since you two where married he automatically gets citizenship" one more time I thought I would shove a shoe where the sun dont shine!!!

Oh yeah, that one too! I hear all the time, "When is he going to get a job?' What's wrong if he doesn't get a job? I don't care!

I hear that one too. He cant even apply because we have no idea when he will get a green card,social sec # or be able to move. Would you hire someone who told you that at the interview? duh

oh yes he can apply. The IR1/CR1 stamp in his visa made him eligible to work the instant he set foot in the US.

I understand the way it works but I am telling you that no employer is going to do an interview and hire someone who has NO IDEA when he will be able to move to the US. It could be 6 months or 5 yrs we have NO IDEA!!!!

[treehugger 23]

This is the kind of thing that gets at me. A lot of Americans seem to think that everyone in the world born outside of the U.S. desperately wants to come here and will do anything to make that happen. It seems unfathomable to them that some people might actually be perfectly happy living in the country they were born and raised in.

People often ask me if my wife is happy to be coming here, and if she's always dreamed of coming to America. My wife is a very traditional Filipina (something I truly love about her, by the way), and is very close to her family and friends. We've talked before about how we wish I could come there to live with her instead, but it's not feasible right now. I can't imagine how my wife will react when she gets over here and hears people casually cursing in public. She's also never been so far from the people she loves before.

People don't seem to think about everything an immigrant gives up by coming to America - their entire life, for the most part!

Thank you!! I'm very proud of my country, and no it's not perfect, nowhere is, but really I don't want to live anywhere else. I've considered moving to other countries for work purposes, but it never crossed my mind to ever move to, work or study in the US. I'd much rather live in many other countries. My husband admits that London is a far nicer place to be, but unfortunately at the moment it's not very feasible for him to move here. I get so fed up of people saying that I must be desperate to become a US citizen - no, actually, I'm not, and I strongly suspect that I will not. However, when you ask these same people if they'd consider moving to another country for their spouse, let alone becoming a citizen, the answer is nearly always, 'are you out of your mind?'!!