The Vent - Part Trois

[Sprailenes 47]

Yeah Nev...you've GOT to put your foot down. I know it's really hard -- I see the hold my grandmother has over my mother every single day. But there's just no alternative, really, unless you want to remain miserable. You've got to dictate the boundaries. "Mom, I would be more than happy to have you visit, but you have to understand that I'm not able to drive up to New York to meet you. If you can't deal with that, you'll just have to wait until I visit you next." If she's able to drive to New Mexico, it's abundantly clear that it IS just a control issue, as others have mentioned. Don't LET her do that. Guilt is a parent's favorite tool, be it inadvertent or intentional. Don't let her stick that wedge into you.

You are correct.

I am going to send her train schedules for her trip in March... how to switch trains from NYC to Philly.

I know my husband is at the end of his ropes esp after this weekend. So if I don't say something, he will and when my husband gets angry he doesn't make sense because ALL the dirty laundry comes out, so it's better I do it.

[trailmix 77]

Well blah. That sucks Nev regardless of all the ins and outs. How the heck did you break your finger??

[Sprailenes 47]

I slipped on a patch of ice and tried to break my fall with my hand.

My whole hand is bruised up but my middle finger is broken.

Middle finger is my jersey driving finger too... so no flipping people off for a while.

Edited January 5, 2010 by Sprailenes

[trailmix 77]

[Varba 0]

Good luck Sprailenes.

If you need a break, Peachey and I are not too far away. We can drop by and say hi!

You don't even need to meet us at the state line to show us the rest of the way...

[Sprailenes 47]

Good luck Sprailenes.

If you need a break, Peachey and I are not too far away. We can drop by and say hi!

You don't even need to meet us at the state line to show us the rest of the way...

You two are too much.

Well thanks I'll keep it in mind.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

You two are too much.

Well thanks I'll keep it in mind.

Hey! Why don't you get Peachey and Varba to pick up your Mom in NYC? Now THAT would be entertaining...

[Ban Hammer 13,355]

Middle finger is my jersey driving finger too... so no flipping people off for a while.

how can you legally drive in jersey then?

hope you feel better soon

[Peachey 10]

So I`m on hold with RBC USA cause I still haven`t gotten my card n stuff yet... and they`re playing Christmas hold music... isn`t it like January 5th?

[trailmix 77]

Gosh and normally RBC U.S. is so on the ball

[The_Dude 1,142]

My sister in law is one of the most irritating people I have met. She is one of those people who completely changes when they get involved in a relationship. She is all about him now. Mel tries so hard to even have a passing relationship with her, but she is so self absorbed, she really makes no attempt. The worst part about it is that she likes to mirror his personality, so she goes from being self-absorbed and stubborn to an immature douche when she is around him. Now the irritating part is that she has been planning to visit us sometime this year for a while. All of a sudden about 5 months ago, it went from all the things that she wanted to see to what her boyfriend wanted to see and go to around L.A.. Umm hello? He wasn't invited, and for good reason. He irritates both Mel and myself almost to violence in a matter of minutes. Her parents have tried to tell her diplomatically, and Mel has told her that she should come herself. She doesn't get it. I guess i'll have to be the ####### and tell her that he is not welcome here. :sigh:

[ScooterMac 2]

So I`m on hold with RBC USA cause I still haven`t gotten my card n stuff yet... and they`re playing Christmas hold music... isn`t it like January 5th?

Maybe they celebrate Orthodox Christmas (1/7)

[antda 13]

Hi Sprailenes and Everyone,

Sorry to hear about your bad situation going back to Canada...(hugs) there.

Sorry to hear to, about your situation with your mother too. If it makes you feel any better, that's the exact same way some people in Canada that I know (specifically, my Dad/son's grandfather)....

They can travel...but refuses to see me here in the USA and gives all these lame excuses... They can travel elsewhere in the world, but yet I'm always tired of going up to Canada to meet them, and then having them turn me down. For goodness sakes, I'm only a few hours away over the border! From Toronto to near Buffalo...Is that too much to ask? Gee....I'm always driving up to meet my other family and friends in Canada, and they can't make one trip just to see us...Not one trip over, since I've been here in the USA for the last few years! It's draining on my end too, emotionally, mentally, etc....

Then the last time I was over...I went to see my grandma/son's great-grandmother in the nursing home. Called to see if they could meet me for a few minutes since I was in Canada anyways....Guess what....they said no....And I was only 10 minutes away then too....

Heck, if my child drove all that way in the middle of a snowstorm to see me, across the border, and with a baby, I would see them in a heartbeat......

So I gave them an ultimatium...."See me and my son before his first birthday...Or don't see us at all..." I don't care either way, but to put my son through this... I don't know what to think....Does my son have a grandfather or not? Lol..I'm waiting to see how this one turns out.....

So if I were you, I would kind of say the same thing to your mother/son's grandmother too. Come down and see me and my son, or don't see us at all. Really, you shouldn't have to make all the efforts here to travel all the way up to Canada, especially when the can travel n their own to see you, and that they are just being stubborn about it too. You don't deserve to be drained like this. Tell her how you really feel..and as a mother and grandmother, she should understand that too.

Hope this helps too. Good luck with your situation and dealings with your mother too. Glad you made it home safely, nevertheless, snowstorms, broken cars, tickets, broken fingers, and all!

Ant

P.S. Hope your finger is better too. Sorry to hear that you broke it....Ouch!

Yea I guess you would. But at this point, having a nervous breakdown in my car in Syracuse, bawling my eyes out, driving 40 through most of NY state, almost spinning out in my car, breaking my finger, getting a parking ticket in Toronto, and just having a crappy weekend in general, kind of put a sour taste in my mouth.

I am tired of always meeting her. I said I loved her dearly, but I think she can get down this way on her own. She can. She just refuses to. The thing is, I do it, I go all the way to Canada to meet her.

I love my mother, but I am tired of this situation. It's emotionally, mentally, and financially draining.

Edited January 5, 2010 by Ant+D+BabyA

[antda 13]

Hi Everyone,

My vent for today...

I need to find a dentist....I haven't seen one since I was in Canada.....and that was many years ago too...

So now that I need one...I can't find one here in the USA, near where I live!...

The dentists around here are: a ) Not accepting new patients at the moment and/or b ) Not accepting my medical insurance

I don't know what else to do....other than to wait it out, while my wisdom teeth throb in pain.....

Sigh.....

Ant

P.S. My son is also teething too..lol...So yeah...kind of funny that we are both growing new teeth for the new year! lol....

Edited January 5, 2010 by Ant+D+BabyA

[bowflex 0]

Lol Lots o' family vents today I guess

I'm going to surprise my wife in a few weeks but going out to each with her and then having my parents and my brother's family already waiting there for us. We celebrated her bday last weekend with a surprise party with some friends but nothing with the family yet so I thinik she'll like it

Anyway my brother's wife (who has a head that resembles a LEGO, I'm convinced her hair snaps on) has said some really stupid things over the years and is constantly trying to tell us how much better off my brother and her are. Now this is fine with me, I don't really care, my brother is four years older than me and everything, has two kids already, great for them The only problem is I know when they come over to see our new house for the first time, she's going to make it a point to say that the only reason we have the things we do is because we don't have kids yet. Now we're not really well off or anything but we've got the usual plasma tvs, pool table, Wii, just normal stuff really.

My wife and I have decided that probably within a year we'll try to begin adding to our family but it's a sensitive spot right now cause we're just trying to get our careers solidified and get the house setup and ready.

I just know it's going to go from having a great time at the restaurant to a big ol' ####### job when we all come back to the house Lol.