The Vent - Part Trois

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Okay, so I'm currently in Buffalo and oughtn't be spending these minutes away from my lovely wife, buuut...

I just gotta say this: remember how I mentioned that one of my favorite hobbies is making mix CDs? Well, I went to make a "90's mix" last week and it became a double disc.

Yeah, my wife is 32 and I'm 30, and we keep saying things like "The Downward Spiral...can you believe that was fifteen years ago???" Pretty crazy. I think most people retain their affinity for the music of their teens. It's almost like the heightened hormones give extra music memory too or something...

[Malrothien 6]

Okay, so I'm currently in Buffalo and oughtn't be spending these minutes away from my lovely wife, buuut...

I just gotta say this: remember how I mentioned that one of my favorite hobbies is making mix CDs? Well, I went to make a "90's mix" last week and it became a double disc.

Yeah, my wife is 32 and I'm 30, and we keep saying things like "The Downward Spiral...can you believe that was fifteen years ago???" Pretty crazy. I think most people retain their affinity for the music of their teens. It's almost like the heightened hormones give extra music memory too or something...

That's depressing.

Hubby and I were commenting that a lot of the new music on the radio sucks today. I want my 90's back!

[Peachey 10]

So todays vent involves my soon to be in laws.

Ok, so Varba missed some family gathering on Sunday on his mom's side of the family. He genuinely forgot (as did I). His mom emailed us about this gathering on the day we got our interview letter, so we were busy making plans to go to Montreal. We have obviously been very busy since this time.

So, instead of calling to remind him, she does nothing and sends him a not very nice email on Monday morning saying she was dissapointed in him and that everyone at the gathering was asking about him. He emails her back saying he forgot and he was sorry.

Today, his parents take him out for Brunch. His mom says "I'm still upset you didn't come on Sunday, I feel that you did it on purpose to hurt me". OMG, if I was there I would have A$$PLODED on her. ANYONE who knows Varba knows he would never do something intentionally to hurt somebody, especially his own mother.

He had to re-itterate to her how busy we've been (I still think she doesn't believe us). She thought we were all done with immigration after the interview... even tho we've told her many times we're not done for at least 3 years. Then she tells him they should get his memory checked. UH NO, we forgot because we were busy, not because of a medical condition.

It just seems unreasonable to me. If I'm really busy, and there's some kind of family function, my mom will call and remind me the day before. Not sit and wait to see if I get there, and then if I don't she gets the chance to guilt trip me.

[Arabella 4]

So todays vent involves my soon to be in laws.

Ok, so Varba missed some family gathering on Sunday on his mom's side of the family. He genuinely forgot (as did I). His mom emailed us about this gathering on the day we got our interview letter, so we were busy making plans to go to Montreal. We have obviously been very busy since this time.

So, instead of calling to remind him, she does nothing and sends him a not very nice email on Monday morning saying she was dissapointed in him and that everyone at the gathering was asking about him. He emails her back saying he forgot and he was sorry.

Today, his parents take him out for Brunch. His mom says "I'm still upset you didn't come on Sunday, I feel that you did it on purpose to hurt me". OMG, if I was there I would have A$$PLODED on her. ANYONE who knows Varba knows he would never do something intentionally to hurt somebody, especially his own mother.

He had to re-itterate to her how busy we've been (I still think she doesn't believe us). She thought we were all done with immigration after the interview... even tho we've told her many times we're not done for at least 3 years. Then she tells him they should get his memory checked. UH NO, we forgot because we were busy, not because of a medical condition.

It just seems unreasonable to me. If I'm really busy, and there's some kind of family function, my mom will call and remind me the day before. Not sit and wait to see if I get there, and then if I don't she gets the chance to guilt trip me.

Wow she was harsh. Poor Varba . . . Maybe his mom needs some lulz kitties? Just kidding . . .

I'm sorry that you have such tough in-laws, but the good thing is Varba has you now to console him and to make him forget about these things!

[Peachey 10]

LOL he didn't need consoling, he's used to it and mostly ignores it. It's me that needed to be calmed down lol.

[Danu 19]

Hmmm...thats the moment that had I been there I would have been like "yeah and I feel like you are ruining my christmas just to hurt me". How rude of her, seriously.

[chadlaure 2]

My vent today: I ate too much...

[Sam and Ben 2]

Wow Peachy... sounds like you have an awful treat to deal with.

I'd like to say it might get better, but if your fiance's "used to it" by now, it probably won't. (hug)

My vent today:

I made shepherd's pie for the second time. The first time, it tasted fine, but it didn't turn out right. Today, it tasted good, but still...

I'd like to say that watching everyone eat it and enjoy is making me feel better, but it's not.

I hate food. (That's a lie, as I love food, but I'm grumpy.)

[Peachey 10]

If you made me shepperds pie, I'd eat it

[Missa 0]

did she cry? mikes mom ... what am i saying lol OF COURSE SHE DID!

bees

[Peachey 10]

did she cry? mikes mom ... what am i saying lol OF COURSE SHE DID!

bees

Oh, unfortunately she didn't cry. I'm surprised she didn't tho.

[MapleLeafBaby 1]

ok, seriously...tell me if i'm crazy.... there is a third party in our relationship...and some days it drives me bonkers! lol... it's my husbands cat!

Seriously, i'll start by saying that we think this cat is bipolar lol...my husband agrees...when I first met my husband...we started calling the cat his gay lover lol...and now I seriously feel as though I am in competition with this cat, over my husband lol. He is extremely needy and attention starved. The second my husband gets home...the cat is all over him. I understand he needs his time too, so I usually give him an hour or so to get his fill...but I swear this thing does not give us any time to ourselves!...as soon as my husband sits or lies on the couch, he gets up on him and all up on his face, almost trying to make out with him...ahaha...no really. My husband laughs and says, just move him....and my husband is really good about it...but some days i'm like 'enough already'. Am I crazy?

I'll be sitting on the couch with my husband, all cuddled up, and if we are affectionate...the cat tries to jump up in between us, and tries to squish himself in between us, pushes at me with his feet...tries to get in his face...nuzzles, and then looks back at me with his snobby face...we laugh cause it's hilarious....if my husband shoo's him away too many times...he looses it and starts acting out by furiously running around and getting into stuff to cause s***.

He follows my husband all over the house, and the second he sits down...if I get up for one second to use the bathroom, I come back and he is already nuzzled in my seat up against him... when we used to date, in his smaller condo, we used to have to lock him out of the room just to get privacy. He is so obsessed with him, at night, we have to put him in the in law suite and close the door, or else the entire night, we'd be dealing with him trying to jump up into the bed and get in between us...

There is a ton more, and my husband thinks it's funny...he obviously puts me first, but sometimes I feel like i'm competing with the cat! lol...

And I now come to learn, that cats are nothing like dogs...this thing never listens and is not trainable...my husband says to give up...I am an extremely neurotically clean person. And my rules are simple...I give him free roam of the house...but the rules are, no beds and no furniture (couches are ok) but not tables and the one I hate the most is the kitchen counter! I have caught him on the counter a couple of times and neurotically started disinfecting the whole kitchen. seriously feel at times he does it on purpose cause he knows it gets to me! lol...like when he gets caught, before I can even say or do a thing...he bows his head and bolts...so obviosuly he knows it's wrong...

Oh, another example...which my husband thinks is funny and I think is weird lol....when he follows my husband all over, he will follow him in the bathroom...as soon as my husband makes the motion to take off his shirt...the cat immediately jumps into the shower....hello?!

What ever happened to a normal cat...I hear of people saying that cats do their own thing etc... our cat is glued to my husband the second he gets home...we have to put him away if we want peace and quite...during dinner, we have to put him away, because the whole time he tries to get up on my husbands lap when we eat...and I hate having animals in the kitchen when we are eating...thats just me.

At his old place, when we used to lock the cat out of the bedroom, whether we were sleeping or trying to be intimate...this thing would claw at the door the whole time making these horendous crying sounds! He wouldn't let us sleep...he would run and bang at the door with his head...trying to get in and at my husband....haha...I know this sounds nuts...but he also gets into stuff that he shouldn't...he goes into all the bathrooms and claws and unravels all the toilet paper...if we lock him out or in the in law suite...give him an hour and the place looks like a bomb hit it! Plants turned over, paper all over, all the drawers opened etc....

I understand that it was just them two for 8 years...but I refuse to let a cat rule my house. I accepted him because my husband loves him, and I would never make him choose...so even though I was never a cat person, I really have tried to give it a fair try and do have love for him...but man is he making this hard or what?

Is he normal, cause he sounds a bit much to me? I literally can get no alone time with my husband...

ok, i'm done

I think it has bothered me more these past couple of days cause my husband has been sick and at home lying on the couch...I can't even sit with my husband on the couch to take care of him, cause this thing is attached to his armpit! My husband laughs and says 'just move him'... my husband has honoured all my requests...but I don't want him to think it's me...I mean, am I being unreasonable? I know there are cat lovers that have a different tolerance than I do...I just don't think this cat is normal. We call the cat my husbands gay lover lol

Edited November 28, 2009 by poprocks

[ashenflowers 5]

LOL! Wow pop... that's quite the story. I have a cat, and love her, and can relate to SOME of those things, but wow that cat has some serious issues. Unfortunately I don't have a solution or suggestion, but just wanted to say that I don't think that's normal, and I don't think you're being unreasonable. Glad you can find humour in it though!!

[MapleLeafBaby 1]

LOL! Wow pop... that's quite the story. I have a cat, and love her, and can relate to SOME of those things, but wow that cat has some serious issues. Unfortunately I don't have a solution or suggestion, but just wanted to say that I don't think that's normal, and I don't think you're being unreasonable. Glad you can find humour in it though!!

Well, I'm happy to hear that from another cat owner! It makes me feel better!

He does have ok days, where he gets his fill and will leave us alone...more recently, we think that he has found something that has caught his attention...my husband says it may be a mouse behind the stove....he literally spends HOURS just standing in front of the stove and staring...this has been non stop for two weeks now....we say 'he's on shift'...and he's torn cause he wants to cuddle with my husband, so he comes to the couch, just try try and shoo me and get in between us...then runs back to his post lol...

He has days where he leaves us alone...but he is like this 90% of the time. I know I say it's funny and humorous, only because it's my only way to deal with it...my husband would think i'm loony if I got jealous of the cat...but some days, I seriously do feel that way. If we shoo him off the couch away from us...he'll jump up on the top back of the couch...come crawling over, and in between us...start pawing at my husbands ear...or if we are lying on the couch...he comes and stares, trying to eye the one little piece of couch left...and tries jumping up...and squeezing in between us...I don't mind if he stays with us...but the problem I have is that he literally tries to get as close to my husbands face as possible...like on his neck and sits with his nose to nose...There are days that it even drives my husband crazy and he shoo's him away and he's like 'enough!'...

Obviously he favours my husband...at night, when he knows it's time for us to lock him in the in law suite (and I will tell you, it's by far 'sub-standard living...he has a whole apartment to himself...a living room, kitchen, two bedrooms and a bathroom lol) when we try to retire him for the night, my husband has to do it, cause he has to trick him into thinking he's gonna get some affection...then brabs him and puts him in there...if I try to do it...he won't have it...he runs and hides in all sorts of places...and he knows I can't get to him, because my back is bad so I can't catch him....

I have really tried to find peace with all of this...but some days it starts to really bother me. We both came to the relationship with things that we accept about each other...my husband is very loving to my son...and the way he explains it, is that the cat is like his only 'child' type of thing he has ever known...so I understand this...but there are times that the cat really makes me resent him because of all the stuff he does...i'm always cleaning up some sort of mess he has caused because he got ticked off....seriously...he causes much more turmoil when he is not happy....I keep telling myself that it is all an adjustment phase...but we are going onto 5 months and i'm getting frustrated....who ever thought that the third party threat in my relationship would be male and furry...lol...he's lucky he's cute lol

[trailmix 77]

my husband says to give up

You're Husband is right

But seriously - he had this cat for 8 years before you came along - do cats listen? To some degree. I'm pretty strict about where our cat can go and where she can sit etc. She has never been allowed to sit on the sofa - but she still tries it periodically.

I would like to say that you can take control of the situation and show her who is in charge and that he would have to participate etc etc - but really, after the cat being alone with your Husband for 8 years, it will probably have the same effect as beating your head against the wall.