The Vent - Part Trois

[The_Dude 1,142]

I kind of think it should be the opposite - AOS should be allowed. We basically allow it in Canada, why would anyone want to make it harder for people instead of easier?

Allow inbound applications, allow people to travel freely - that's the right way to do it imo. Why make it hard on people.

AoS does not necessarily allow for screening of undesirables. I know the process is frustrating and too long for some to handle, but in the end, the government has a duty to protect it's citizenry.

[Sprailenes 47]

I agree. Too many crazy people want to blow stuff up. Immigration shouldn't be easy these days.

[lgg 2]

Word on that! There were days when I was like COME ON, let's get this going but all in all, it was fine. I enjoy my time aong an doing my thing and I'm sure my husband will appreciate some time to himself at some point too!

but yeah, the AOS thing. I don't want to get into it but it kinda needs to be revamped, me thinks.

You and me both!

My MIL keeps inviting us down to the shore on weekends and I have been trying to convince HIM to go.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

so I have a silly little vent

so sometimes I will make muffins or cookies and my hubby will eat them all in a day or two and then complain a few days later that there isn't any cookies etc.. it is like....well geez, if you wouldn't eat them all at one time they might last longer

so lately I hide some in the freezer so I have some goodies to put in his lunch for work...

maybe you're just a great cook

[Marilyn. 340]

maybe you're just a great cook

well that is a given

[Bern. 3]

so I have a silly little vent

so sometimes I will make muffins or cookies and my hubby will eat them all in a day or two and then complain a few days later that there isn't any cookies etc.. it is like....well geez, if you wouldn't eat them all at one time they might last longer

so lately I hide some in the freezer so I have some goodies to put in his lunch for work...

Aww...you're making me crave cookies. Where do you live? I want some of these delicious cookies

I'm in a somewhat similar situation...with my pregnancy cravings, I ordered some Purdys Hedgehog chocolates! And as we all know, those are kind of pricey. So I ordered 2 boxes of 40 and I needed 2 day shipping because well, it's Texas...they melt. :/ They're almost ALL gone. My husband eats like 5 in one sitting...

[ashenflowers 5]

Aww...you're making me crave cookies. Where do you live? I want some of these delicious cookies

I'm in a somewhat similar situation...with my pregnancy cravings, I ordered some Purdys Hedgehog chocolates! And as we all know, those are kind of pricey. So I ordered 2 boxes of 40 and I needed 2 day shipping because well, it's Texas...they melt. :/ They're almost ALL gone. My husband eats like 5 in one sitting...

You need a 'pregnancy craving shelf' in the cupboard, where it's HANDS OFF for hubby. lol

[Sprailenes 47]

I have a group of friends from back home, who haven't quite grown up yet. They still like to party all of the time and go from job to job and are still acting like they're 19. The thing is, they're in their late twenties. I still talk to them, say hi on facebook, but thats about it. I don't hang with these people... but have known them for years.

One of these friends has decided to come to the states and then email me and ask if he can come "stay" with me until he gets settled. He's doing this all from NYC.

Umm no. You can't. Settled? How are you going to get settled? I live in NJ, you can't get anywhere without a car He doesn't have a visa, he just came here... and thinks everything is going to be okay and he can work under the table... ####### he was thinking, I'll never know... but again he never "grew up"

Where I live is a home, with a child, a dog and a husband. It's not like some squat where people can just come stay and live.

I felt sort of bad, but was more insulted that he would even put me in such a position to have to say no, or to even assume he could just come live with me.

Oh and he's a recovering heroin addict... just in case someone wants to come in and call me a b1tch for acting this way.

It just reminds me that I have really outgrown these friendships I formed when I was a teenager. None of these people outgrew their teen years... they went on to become really messed up people.. and I don't even get it. I can't wrap my head around it anymore. So I deleted a few of them from my fb and decided that they're not really friends and it was the memories that I was holding on to.

Edited June 5, 2010 by Sprailenes

[Ontarkie 14,221]

I know ppl like that too, they think their 19 till the day they die. So sad.

I really don't have too many on FB either its better that way, I can't trust what they might post.

As for saying No to moving in, I completely agree you don't want to be involved in that train wreck.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Ah, I know how that feels Sprail. I really feel disconnected from a lot of my high school friends back home now. I I grew up and moved on, started a life for myself and they're all sitting back in my hometown living with their parents, unemployed, and going out and partying it up every night like we we're still 17 years old. It's just so incredibly hard to even carry on a conversation with them now, when before It was so easy. We just have nothing in common. At some point, you need to start growing up. I couldn't imagine being my age and doing that stuff still... I would feel like a complete failure.

I have a weird vent... It involves a cat There's this fluffy calico cat that likes to hang out in my back yard. It doesn't bother anyone, it's just very strange. It sits under the one tree and stars at the house, almost frozen for hours. If I go outside and try to approach it, it just takes off. It doesn't have a collar from what I can tell. So either someone is just letting their cat roam around the neighborhood for days on end without identification, or it's a stray. If it's a stay, I'm starting to wonder if maybe the previous owners of this house owned it, and then just dumped it? I can't figure out another reason why the cat would be so attached to the property here. Either way, there is something wrong with people who don't take care of their pets. I feel so bad for the poor cat but it won't even let me near it. And taking it in is just not a possibility for us, since I'm so allergic. Should I just leave it alone and let it hang around? Should I call the humane society? I don't really know. Part of me wants to feed it, but then it will never leave if it belongs somewhere else, and part of me thinks I should call, but would they just put it to sleep? Poor little thing!

[lgg 2]

You did the exact right thing, Sprails. I think at a certain point in our lives we have to ditch the bo-ho thing and take onus for ourselves and and such. I don't have a lot of friends like that, per se, but I have a few friends that could do with a good bout of emotional growing up. I think when you have a family and such, you have to put these things first and not run around skipping off to places with no real set plan or anything.

you know the story Sprails, but my best friend ever wanted me to jaunt off to NYC with her when I first moved to the US on my Visa. Like I hadn't even been here a month yet, I had no jobs and no money coming in nad I was kinda beside myself with a little panic and not settled at all. But she was like, let's go to NYC and party and who cares about money and such. I was kinda like, I cannot do it. It was just wrong and i wasnt' ready. Didn't go on the trip and the friendship went down the crapper after that.

I can sympathize Sprails... as you know... it's kind a the same thing, people have to grow up and get out of the me-me-me mentality.

You did the right thing by saying no. You really did.

I have a group of friends from back home, who haven't quite grown up yet. They still like to party all of the time and go from job to job and are still acting like they're 19. The thing is, they're in their late twenties. I still talk to them, say hi on facebook, but thats about it. I don't hang with these people... but have known them for years.

One of these friends has decided to come to the states and then email me and ask if he can come "stay" with me until he gets settled. He's doing this all from NYC.

Umm no. You can't. Settled? How are you going to get settled? I live in NJ, you can't get anywhere without a car He doesn't have a visa, he just came here... and thinks everything is going to be okay and he can work under the table... ####### he was thinking, I'll never know... but again he never "grew up"

Where I live is a home, with a child, a dog and a husband. It's not like some squat where people can just come stay and live.

I felt sort of bad, but was more insulted that he would even put me in such a position to have to say no, or to even assume he could just come live with me.

Oh and he's a recovering heroin addict... just in case someone wants to come in and call me a b1tch for acting this way.

It just reminds me that I have really outgrown these friendships I formed when I was a teenager. None of these people outgrew their teen years... they went on to become really messed up people.. and I don't even get it. I can't wrap my head around it anymore. So I deleted a few of them from my fb and decided that they're not really friends and it was the memories that I was holding on to.

[SupportGeek 21]

Sprail, I really cant blame you at all for refusing the "friend". NO was the right answer. You built your life, matured, and left behind a group that were moving towards a dead end. It was awfully selfish and presumptuous of him to even ask you for a favour of that magnitude. Hes basically asking you to put yourself and family at risk because he wants to be a drifter, what a selfish a$hole.

You shouldnt feel bad at all, he simply wanted to take advantage of you.

It took me a while to realize that some of my friends were dead ends too, happy to party it up, blow your whole paycheque at the bars in 2 nights, then work the week at a min wage job to do it again. I moved away from them to Ontario at 26, forced me to grow up finally, Im not proud it took so long, but at least I did, they still havnt.

Huggles, if its not bothering anything, maybe leave it be for now, worst case it will move on as weather changes, but more likely it will get bored before that. If its bothering you a lot, call animal services, it will go to a pound, but they will also check it for a chip, which you cant see, and that would have owner/address information on it. I dont know how long they keep them for though, but I think eventually they do put them to sleep. Dont feed it though, it wont ever leave! If its real hungry it will go find food, home or elsewhere.

Edited June 5, 2010 by SupportGeek

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Wow - that's just what you need at your house...an illegal alien. That would help the old citizenship application All joking aside, it's ok to move on from some friendships girl. They were what you needed at the time, but everyone grows and changes (or not as the case may be)and now you need different things in life. The old things that worked for you don't anymore and that's good that you recognize that. You want to protect you son and the relationship you have with your husband by not hanging out with people who will just bring things down to a crappy level. I sympathize with him that he is a recovering addict, but even he must know, he's not a super role model for your kid to be around. He'll have to get settled without your help. I hope he takes the hint and doesn't keep pushing.

Good luck

I have a group of friends from back home, who haven't quite grown up yet. They still like to party all of the time and go from job to job and are still acting like they're 19. The thing is, they're in their late twenties. I still talk to them, say hi on facebook, but thats about it. I don't hang with these people... but have known them for years.

One of these friends has decided to come to the states and then email me and ask if he can come "stay" with me until he gets settled. He's doing this all from NYC.

Umm no. You can't. Settled? How are you going to get settled? I live in NJ, you can't get anywhere without a car He doesn't have a visa, he just came here... and thinks everything is going to be okay and he can work under the table... ####### he was thinking, I'll never know... but again he never "grew up"

Where I live is a home, with a child, a dog and a husband. It's not like some squat where people can just come stay and live.

I felt sort of bad, but was more insulted that he would even put me in such a position to have to say no, or to even assume he could just come live with me.

Oh and he's a recovering heroin addict... just in case someone wants to come in and call me a b1tch for acting this way.

It just reminds me that I have really outgrown these friendships I formed when I was a teenager. None of these people outgrew their teen years... they went on to become really messed up people.. and I don't even get it. I can't wrap my head around it anymore. So I deleted a few of them from my fb and decided that they're not really friends and it was the memories that I was holding on to.

[ashenflowers 5]

Sprail, I agree with everyone that agreed with you! You did the right thing and shouldn't feel like a b1tch! That's a good point about holding on to the memories. It's good to distinguish the difference between a true friendship,and a memory of a friendship. I have a few ppl on FB I could probably delete for memories sake, but lucky for me they're not asking to move in

Huggles, I'd be careful about calling the humane society. Simply because if he's a little skiddish, he might be hard to adopt, and thus won't last long.... ifyouknowwhatImean. I'd look around the area for some no-kill shelters. (I found http://www.maxfund.org which seems good.. they're in Denver). They'll keep him at the shelter for as long as is needed, and will focus more time and energy on making him a friendly, approachable, adoptable cat. It sounds like a super cute cat (fluffy, calico? awesome!), and just needs some human interaction. How does the cat look health-wise? Is it scrawny looking, or normal, plump, healthy? Is the fur matted and icky or no? You could potentially post signs nearby saying you found a cat. Or like Geek said, seriously just leave it alone and it'll probably go away eventually (especially if you don't feed it!). My parents had a cat that hung around their house and even slept on their porch, and a day or two later it was gone. lol

Oh, and a couple months ago we had a cat that hung around our apartment. I fed him some bacon out our patio door... haha But then Kitty chase him away and I haven't seen him in a while.

Edited June 5, 2010 by ashenflowers

[Sprailenes 47]

Yea thanks guys. I was just sort of shocked that he even asked. He is a drifter... and I don't for the life of me know how he got into the states because he has many many charges and the last I heard he wasn't allowed to leave Canada... but I didn't really ask a lot of questions... I just said: "This isn't a good idea, sorry bud, can't help you with this one" and that's it.

I haven't seen this guy in 10 years.

So I phoned a mutual friend of ours (one who is doing a lot better in life btw) and let her know, and she said that he was talking about coming down here for a while and told people he had a 'friend' here... that 'friend' being me. That really sort of freaked me out. It really made me think about what the word 'friend' is and what it means to people. Still baffled. Hey at least he doesn't have my address, because I could see the guy showing up at my door unannounced and thinking it's okay.

So strange. What a weird start to the weekend.