The Vent - Part Trois

[Sprailenes 47]

Haha thanks.

Yea he knows she won't let him see her. A year ago he called at Christmas, she answered and he asked to speak to his dad and she hung up on him. She hung up on a freaking child! Ethan knows how she feels, he doesn't like her either. One day she may come around and will want her child to meet Ethan, and she'll have to answer a lot of questions... like: "Hey why did you hang up on me when I wanted to talk to my dad?" and other things. Step-fathers are just as good, if not better because it's the man who wants to be in his life. She is a social worker, she works with people who are co-dependent and people who have problems. You'd think she'd work on her own crazy issues before trying to fix other peoples problems. Oh well, this is one of those times where I hope karma finds it's way.

[antda 13]

And Sprail: I meant to comment on this earlier... I had an ex boyfriend who had a similar father situation. His parents separated when he was really young, and his father's new wife wanted him to have nothing to do with his previous children. Both my ex and his brother grew to DESPISE their father because of this, which was really unfortunate. But I think it's because their mother was a little cuckoo and also never remarried or had another relationship, and she HATED talking about it, and they never had a fatherly figure in a positive way. I think Ethan will be ok, so long as like others have said, he is talked to in an honest and open way about the situation, and reminded of how much the people in his life do love him and want him around. Make him understand it's not HIS issue, or even his father's (though kinda)... it's because of the severe insecurities of his father's new girl (I was going to say 'woman' but she doesn't deserve the title)... If he needs to direct his emotions towards anyone, it should be her. As for her being pregnant with his baby... all I have to say about that is 'POINT... LAUGH!'... I had another ex who I found out years after dating him that he got his girlfriend pregnant... I laughed for days. All I could think was 'thank GOD that's not me'... LOL Ahhh... good times.

Ashenflowers-Lol..Funny, how your ex's situation sounds like mine....

Needless to say, I don't talk to my father's new wife or their children either...

Yeah, I missed out on the fatherly figure thing as a child....

But that's ok....I'm making up for lost time as an adult...(though it's different this way...lol...)

And I'm glad too, that in Nev's situation, that Ethan has her husband as a fatherly figure....Which is even better..

All children need fatherly figures they can look up to, regardless!.....

Haha thanks.

Yea he knows she won't let him see her. A year ago he called at Christmas, she answered and he asked to speak to his dad and she hung up on him. She hung up on a freaking child! Ethan knows how she feels, he doesn't like her either. One day she may come around and will want her child to meet Ethan, and she'll have to answer a lot of questions... like: "Hey why did you hang up on me when I wanted to talk to my dad?" and other things. Step-fathers are just as good, if not better because it's the man who wants to be in his life. She is a social worker, she works with people who are co-dependent and people who have problems. You'd think she'd work on her own crazy issues before trying to fix other peoples problems. Oh well, this is one of those times where I hope karma finds it's way.

Nev-Wow, that is rude, to of her to hang up on a child like that!

I'm sorry that Ethan hhad to go through that...And he has every right to speak ot his father, no matter what!

I agree, your son deserves someone that wants him in his life, instead of someone that doesn't...

So tell him to focus on that instead..By the way, does he call your husband "Dad"?

If he doesn't maybe he should consider doing such, since as a stepdad he is more of a dad then his biological dad is, from the looks of things...

Lol...Let's hope Karma finds its way around too....

On another issue-My fever went down from 102 to 99...So that's good, I guess.....

Hopefully my son and husband don't get sick either! Blah....(I'm trying to be careful here..)

I hate getting sick! And I hate missing out on the Easter fun too!

I don't want to avoid them like this too..But whatever it takes to not spread the germs around, then so be it...Blah...

Ant

Edited April 5, 2010 by Ant+D+BabyA

[Sprailenes 47]

No he doesn't call him dad. But we're pretty relaxed about that sort of thing. He knows who Mike is, Mike is the one who brings him to flyers games, teaches him hockey and yells at him from the stands to "SKATE!" while he's playing on the ice ... he's more of a dad than his biological dad ever was and ever will be.

My husband wants to legally adopt Ethan, and I have always felt weird about it, but maybe it's time to really just let him take the last step in becoming his legal guardian. I think it's the right time to do it. There's no way that other man is going to walk back into my sons life and take some sort of parental role.

[The_Dude 1,142]

I saw the movie Hot Tub Time Machine this weekend. It was a hilarious movie.... until the ending. Way to ruin a funny film with a campy ending.

Nev - I really dont' get how a someone could be in a relationship where they require you to cut off a member of your family. That is something that cults like scientology make you do, not a healthy loving relationship.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

No he doesn't call him dad. But we're pretty relaxed about that sort of thing. He knows who Mike is, Mike is the one who brings him to flyers games, teaches him hockey and yells at him from the stands to "SKATE!" while he's playing on the ice ... he's more of a dad than his biological dad ever was and ever will be.

My husband wants to legally adopt Ethan, and I have always felt weird about it, but maybe it's time to really just let him take the last step in becoming his legal guardian. I think it's the right time to do it. There's no way that other man is going to walk back into my sons life and take some sort of parental role.

One of my best friends had the same situation as you...biological father not involved, her now husband was the only father-type figure her son had ever known (they got together when he was little). It turned out to be a wonderful thing...the adoption process did involve getting the bio to renounce his rights and her son went through a process where they asked him questions alone without her present - such as..."are you being pressured to do this", "how do you feel about this person adopting you", "do you talk to your other dad" etc..... social worker kind of stuff.

It has taken him a while over the years to call his stepdad just plain old 'Dad' instead of by his first name...he sort of alternates between the 2...but now he says things like..."My dad says blah blah blah"....you can tell he's pretty proud that he can say the same thing otehr kids say

Go for it if the time is right.

[Sprailenes 47]

I saw the movie Hot Tub Time Machine this weekend. It was a hilarious movie.... until the ending. Way to ruin a funny film with a campy ending.

Nev - I really dont' get how a someone could be in a relationship where they require you to cut off a member of your family. That is something that cults like scientology make you do, not a healthy loving relationship.

From what I heard, he didn't even want another child. She is excited he is not. He is telling her he is. The same thing happened 11 years ago with me.

He'll withdraw after they have the baby, she'll either be an idiot and put up with it, or move on because why carry that kind of baggage.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

So, I went to get myself added onto my husband's bank account today.

Turns out I can't because my Canadian license is expired. Well that's just great. I need to be added on for my green card interview, so we told the lady we'd get a Californian license and come back.

I went to book a written test for the license and the closest one that I can get that's not an hour away driving distance is April 27th. My interview's May 5th.

I guess that cuts out me getting added to the Vonage bill, because we'll never get a statement by then with both names on it (I think, my husband doesn't get a physical bill so maybe it's possible). Damn DMV, I dont know why they just don't open more of them, can they not tell they're obviously needed?

Edited April 5, 2010 by Rhiannercakes

[Hugglebuggles 60]

One of my best friends grew up with serious daddy issues. Her parents divorced when she was young and he took off, would call once every few months, sent cards on her birthday, but that's about it. He mom remarried and her step dad legally adopted her. Well, her mom divorced him when she was a teenager after finding out he was living one of those secret double lives. Then her biological dad passed away and left her a boat load of cash. Lots of cash. So then it caused a strain in the relationship she had with her mom because, in her mind, he he was willing to leave her everything then he must of loved her and therefore it was her mothers fault and she created the rift between them. And she resents the adoption. Pretty messed up situation!

On the other hand, my father adopted me and I'm thankful for it everyday

[trailmix 77]

I knew a woman whose Husband was leading a double life too - how weird would that be!?

[darkchilde794 5]

So, I went to get myself added onto my husband's bank account today.

Turns out I can't because my Canadian license is expired. Well that's just great. I need to be added on for my green card interview, so we told the lady we'd get a Californian license and come back.

I went to book a written test for the license and the closest one that I can get that's not an hour away driving distance is April 27th. My interview's May 5th.

I guess that cuts out me getting added to the Vonage bill, because we'll never get a statement by then with both names on it (I think, my husband doesn't get a physical bill so maybe it's possible). Damn DMV, I dont know why they just don't open more of them, can they not tell they're obviously needed?

Have you tried using your passport in place of a DL? Or using both, since your DL is expired?

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Have you tried using your passport in place of a DL? Or using both, since your DL is expired?

Yeah, Darkchilde is right. There are surely other forms of ID they'll take in lieu of a DL.

[Sam and Ben 2]

I'm wondering that too, Rhiann. Did you try using your passport to be added on? It's still photo ID...

[darkchilde794 5]

I agree with Wyatt and Sam --

They might also take your health card as that is a picture ID...

Foreigners open bank accounts in the US all the time, and not all of them have DL's.

[The_Dude 1,142]

I agree with Wyatt and Sam --

They might also take your health card as that is a picture ID...

Foreigners open bank accounts in the US all the time, and not all of them have DL's.

All they need is a valid picture ID. Rhiann, I would warn you that if your I-94 expires within 30 days of your appointment at the DMV, they will not issue you a drivers license or ID until after you pass your green card interview. The social security office is the same way.

[ashenflowers 5]

You could try your NOAs from the AOS's as well. I know for me they just need something that shows my name and proof of address.