The Vent - Part Trois

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Yeah, it IS pretty lousy in a way, but not unexpected (by me) in the least. I've always understood my sister better than anyone, I think -- no one else in my family has been willing to admit that she's as deeply flawed as she is. She's truly a female Iago, and the reason for her venomous manipulations is equally unclear.

Well, my saving grace is that my parents are appalled by her behavior...at least they see it for what it is now, and know it's baseless and unfounded. Normally parents should be impartial and support their kids equally, but there's really no way they could turn a blind eye to her antics. It has been perpetual throughout my life, and I have always been the one to back down from her violent tirades against me...almost completely because I haven't wanted to be an active participant in family conflict, which literally has a physical effect on my mother. But for all my self control, I've got a breaking point as well. I didn't even hit it last night. I just choose to completely remove her from my life, as I've tried to do a couple of times before. THIS time, though, I'll be 3000 miles away, so hopefully that will make a difference!

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

I'm so sorry Wyatt... Isn't it terrible that things like this have to cloud your goodbyes, something that's rather heavy a thing to bear as is?

Yeah, interestingly enough though, I'm not really weighed down by leaving. I'm 100% excited about it -- nothing is really tugging at my heartstrings about leaving. I'm glad about that. My parents have been great, by and large, in the time that I've been temporarily staying with them...but we're still very different people. It might even be a GOOD thing that my farewell dinner ended in such a way. Don't ask me why I think that, but meh.

[J&K 0]

Sorry you had to endure that last night Shaun. I know how you feel in regards to a sibling who just isn't 'right'. My brother and I had some major issues when we were growing up and into our teens, but thankfully, he has completely changed, and I still consider him my brother. I didn't think that would be possible 10 years ago.

So here's my vent from Saturday.

John and I went to Gettysburg to celebrate our 3rd anniversary with dinner at the Dobbin House. We eat there a leat 4 times a year, and every time we do it has always been great. Even when the food wasn't 'their' best, it was still good

So anyway, we are seated in a small room where there are 4 tables. 3 of these tables have couples (us included) and the final table has 6. 3 adults and 3 children (the oldest about 14).

This table from the time we sit down, to just before we leave had loud conversations where every other table either didn't talk, or couldn't be heard.

That's annoyance number one.

Annoyance number 2, oldest gentleman and 14yr old boy talk about WWI and WWII and make comments about history that are completely wrong, but think that everything they are saying is completely right.

Now John, who is too nice sometimes, will attempt to correct people, and most will take the info with no problem. These people, comepletely ignored him and continued to spew incorrect information for all to hear.

Did you know that Archduke Franz Ferdinand was from Italy and was assassinated by the Germans?

Not to mention that the 14yr old had to proclaim for all to hear that from "New York, to Paris, to Instanbul, this is the best lamb I have ever eaten!"

Multiple times.

The one that made John the most angry was that the mother of the 14yr old said that if she could, she wouldn't sign her son up for Selective Service. And the Grandpa, said that they should all go to Canada to get away from it.

I almost stood up and said "We'd just ship your a$$ back. Canada is fighting in Afghanastan too you idiot" (as I was wering my Olympic sweatshirt with CANADA across the front"

She kept going on about "why would anyone want to fight for their country, what do they get in return"

John is a Navy veteran, and again I wanted to stand up to her face and say "How about the freedom to live in this country."

Ugh....

Dinner was great, but the company was not, and pretty much ruined the experience.

[lgg 2]

OH my god, Wyatt. I have to say, from someone who had been estranged almost all my family except my sister since I was 16 (am now 40) blood is NOT thicker than water -- some people are just not meant to be in each others' lives -- related or not.

You're moving on -- keep it that way -- you're too nice/giving/sweet a person to let someone like that drag you down and cause you such unnecessary drama.

Hugs to you, my friend...

LGG

Kinda funny vent, in a weird sort of way.

My sister, who is fundamentally a horrible woman to begin with (I'm honestly being objective here! She's evil!), decided to pick a big fight with me in the restaurant tonight as we were having my farewell dinner with my parents. She was there with her fiance (her THIRD fiance, by the way...she's twice divorced), and she decided, almost spontaneously, to launch into me about never talking about my writing avocation. I was amused and surprised at her tirade! I've always kept my artistic inclinations mostly private when it comes to my family. I have work published in dozens of magazines and journals, but I literally don't talk about it with my friends or family. It's just my way of separating things, I guess. Well, she has never, EVER said a thing about this before, but she starts yelling at me about how I always shut my family out of my life etc. My father started to butt in, and she promptly shouted, "YOU shut up. You just shut the #### up!" which obviously got HIS hackles raised! She said that it's horrible that I don't talk about my writing, and that I'll probably fall out of contact with her when I move this week, to which I responded, very calmly, "You're probably right about that." She then shut up and didn't say a single word for the rest of the dinner. Fortunately, her fiance still kept conversation going after that, so while it was strangely awkward eating dessert while there was a major cloud over one corner of the table, it was also somewhat amusing to me. Words cannot express how many baseless tirades my sister has launched at me over the years, all the while trying to undermine me, steal any attention I have ever received for anything (she tried to upstage my wedding by announcing her new engagement, but her engagement ring had been mis-shipped, so she couldn't really do it), and all of it has truly been unfounded. That might sound like I'm painting myself in a positive light, but in the most objective sense possible, it's absolutely true! I have never done a thing to negatively impact her...never called her out on her antics etc., and have tried in the past few months to spend some time with her -- going to a movie in December, going to the mall a couple of times...going out to lunch with her and my mother... ALL of this has been out of courtesy, since I will be moving away.

Ultimately, once dinner was done, my father, mother and I walked to our car, and my sister and her fiance trailed about thirty feet behind. I simply got in the car. A moment later, she and her fiance got in hers and she screamed out of the parking lot -- screeching tires and all. I had rather anticipated that something like this would happen since, after all, it was a night that was meant to be a farewell dinner to me. But she just couldn't let it be an amicable evening.

Funnily enough, I returned home and noticed she had "unfriended" me on Facebook. Truth be told, I would have unfriended her too (as mentioned earlier in this thread, it wouldn't be the first time...), but it just gave me one final chuckle. Good riddance though! The only thing that upsets me about it is how it affects my mother, who has always tried to be a peacemaker between any family conflicts. But I just can't be cowed by this spiteful, malicious, jealous woman who happens to be related to me. I have no love for her, and haven't for several years now. This just sums up the reason why.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Sorry you had to endure that last night Shaun. I know how you feel in regards to a sibling who just isn't 'right'. My brother and I had some major issues when we were growing up and into our teens, but thankfully, he has completely changed, and I still consider him my brother. I didn't think that would be possible 10 years ago.

So here's my vent from Saturday.

John and I went to Gettysburg to celebrate our 3rd anniversary with dinner at the Dobbin House. We eat there a leat 4 times a year, and every time we do it has always been great. Even when the food wasn't 'their' best, it was still good

So anyway, we are seated in a small room where there are 4 tables. 3 of these tables have couples (us included) and the final table has 6. 3 adults and 3 children (the oldest about 14).

This table from the time we sit down, to just before we leave had loud conversations where every other table either didn't talk, or couldn't be heard.

That's annoyance number one.

Annoyance number 2, oldest gentleman and 14yr old boy talk about WWI and WWII and make comments about history that are completely wrong, but think that everything they are saying is completely right.

Now John, who is too nice sometimes, will attempt to correct people, and most will take the info with no problem. These people, comepletely ignored him and continued to spew incorrect information for all to hear.

Did you know that Archduke Franz Ferdinand was from Italy and was assassinated by the Germans?

Not to mention that the 14yr old had to proclaim for all to hear that from "New York, to Paris, to Instanbul, this is the best lamb I have ever eaten!"

Multiple times.

The one that made John the most angry was that the mother of the 14yr old said that if she could, she wouldn't sign her son up for Selective Service. And the Grandpa, said that they should all go to Canada to get away from it.

I almost stood up and said "We'd just ship your a$$ back. Canada is fighting in Afghanastan too you idiot" (as I was wering my Olympic sweatshirt with CANADA across the front"

She kept going on about "why would anyone want to fight for their country, what do they get in return"

John is a Navy veteran, and again I wanted to stand up to her face and say "How about the freedom to live in this country."

Ugh....

Dinner was great, but the company was not, and pretty much ruined the experience.

I know that you think that the go to Canada reference is a slight, but from the grandfather's perspective, this is what americans did in Vietnam to avoid having to go to war. I've heard the reference before and wouldn't think of it as an insult to Canada's resolve or place in this world.

[J&K 0]

Oh I know what the reference was to, but I have friends who fought in Vietnam, were wounded in Vietnam, or in the case of my FIL tried to volunteer for Vietnam duty 3 different times and was turned down. So the fact that he even suggested that angered me.

I was thinking more of the immigration side of it actually

[Sprailenes 47]

Wow your sister sounds like an awful person wyatt. Sorry you had to go through that. Telling your dad to stfu... I would have smacked her.

[Kimbear 53]

my landlord is such an idiot..i've told him 3 times i dont have an exact move date as it all depends on when i get my visa. My appointment is the 30th. he expects me to be out by the 1st. which if i could get my visa on the spot i could do. but if i have to wait for mail it's gonna be delayed a week. i offered to pay rent for the first week of april if i'm still there but he just doesn't seem to get it..so again he emails me askign when i'm moving out..argh..

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Wow your sister sounds like an awful person wyatt. Sorry you had to go through that. Telling your dad to stfu... I would have smacked her.

Yeah. The thing is -- she's 38! It's not like she's a bratty child or an emo teenager. She's a 38-year-old nurse. I really pity the patients that are in her thrall...she must relish the power she has over them.

[Sprailenes 47]

Yeah. The thing is -- she's 38! It's not like she's a bratty child or an emo teenager. She's a 38-year-old nurse. I really pity the patients that are in her thrall...she must relish the power she has over them.

The way you were talking I figured early 20s...

Wow 38... someone needs to obviously grow up. Well like lgg said blood is not thicker than water. I don't care if I am related to someone, I have cut off cousins, aunts and uncles in the past.... I have no regrets about it either.

My husbands family, they talk to much trash about each other, but refuse to cut one another off. I was asking my MIL why she just didn't stop talking to her sister, because her sister is always causing her problems, and she said: "Family is important" yea okay but at the same time you're going on about how much you hate her, but when you see her you're giving her kisses and hugs and then turning around and making faces... that's just not worth it to me.

I got into it with my husbands cousin a few months ago, and I refuse to see him now... and his family is "appalled" that I won't get over it. I am over it, but I don't need to put myself into a situation where someone pushes my buttons like that again. Simple.

Edited March 8, 2010 by Sprailenes

[Kimbear 53]

Yeah. The thing is -- she's 38! It's not like she's a bratty child or an emo teenager. She's a 38-year-old nurse. I really pity the patients that are in her thrall...she must relish the power she has over them.

sounds like my sister. well half sister. i hated her all my life. in fact when i was a teenager she used to steal my clothes..keep in mind she is 15 years older than me. the fit yoru sister threw at your party sounds alot like my sister. my high school graduation turned into a family drunk party for her and friends etc. with my mom. ya...

i've estranged ( is that the right word?) myself from then since i moved to ontario in 2000. however i do have to give her kudos to letting me stay with her last year after i was refused entrance to the usa..she did not have to do that. and nice things like this are overshadowed by the rest..

family..can't live with em..can't live without em..i'll be testing the limits of that statement when i move lol.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Yeah, I have no qualms with cutting her out completely. None. She's like a malignant tumor. The only cure is to remove her from my life. She IS biologically my half-sister, mind you. It's just that she's been my sister for every day of MY life. Who knows...maybe there's resentment that stems back to when she was seven years old and I was born...

Family is VERY important to me, but my own family, with the exception of my parents, are all people I can easily cut out. That's part of why I'm moving to D.C. -- because I DON'T have those family ties, whereas my wife (who is half Italian) has a lot of family within a day's drive in Buffalo...most of whom she cares about.

Meh, I'm not losing any sleep over it. I've been sleeping horribly for months...and I got about half an hour MORE sleep last night than I have typically been getting! Maybe if I cut a few other people out of my life, I'll get a FULL night's sleep.

[The_Dude 1,142]

So being Italian guarantees that someone has a big family? Come on now, they arent' all fist pumping guidos with 42,000 cousins. Just seemed irrelavent to state that she's half-italian.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

So being Italian guarantees that someone has a big family? Come on now, they arent' all fist pumping guidos with 42,000 cousins. Just seemed irrelavent to state that she's half-italian.

Well, Italians DO tend to have big families! Hers is no exception. She had about thirty family members at our wedding...I had three.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Well, Italians DO tend to have big families! Hers is no exception. She had about thirty family members at our wedding...I had three.

It's a Catholic thing. I'm Irish, and have a larger sized family, but I don't attribute it to being Irish, nor feel the need to say anythign about it.