The Vent - Part Trois

[Sprailenes 47]

That really does suck. It sucks that it's sort of expected of you, but was never expected of your sister in law and she can come in and turn everything upside down like that.

[Sam and Ben 2]

Couldn't you rent? Even a small bachelor suite or junior one bedroom would be preferable to your situation, wouldn't it?

I know that there are many conflicting ideas on the renting vs. buying debate on this forum, and not to spark that, but renting isn't preferable for me to anything. Even if we buy the smallest house known to man, I'd rather purchase.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

I know that there are many conflicting ideas on the renting vs. buying debate on this forum, and not to spark that, but renting isn't preferable for me to anything. Even if we buy the smallest house known to man, I'd rather purchase.

Gotcha! No worries then, and no debate sparked.

[trailmix 77]

Couldn't you rent? Even a small bachelor suite or junior one bedroom would be preferable to your situation, wouldn't it?

Oh, that really sucks!

There are 100 thousand dollar houses to be bought in Florida right now, with the 8000 dollar home buyers credit and an FHA loan (3.5% down) you could probably get in to something reasonable. Of course you probably have to get a job first, but hey, it's an option - even renting a 1 bedroom apartment (around $600), as Wyatt mentioned.

Can you do this for a year or two?

When I was in my very early 20s, my (then) Husband, my Son and I all lived in my Father's house. We ended up there because we had just moved back to Canada - supposed to be a temporary thing.

Every time we talked about moving out he said no, stay here, etc etc etc - so that went on for like 2-3 years. Now, it obviously wasn't as bad as your situation because other than us there was only him - honestly though, it was bad enough - I don't see how you put up with it.

I completely understand your cleaning up etc - you live there too and you like your environment to be a certain way and so you have chosen that. The part that kind of got me though is that you guys pay nominal rent and there is an agreement that you will help out. It sounds so - hired cleaning help.

I'm sure this all bugs you more than you are letting on and I really feel for you and hope it gets sorted out soon.

[Sprailenes 47]

I lived with my in-laws for a year, and we were supposed to stay until we could save up for a decent down payment on a home. It wasn't desirable to my husband to rent either but my sanity was being tested every day that I lived there. Things don't always go as planned though, and we did have to move out and rent, because there was a few times I thought about leaving and going home.

After a while, things really start to get to you, and what happens when you do get a job? Are you going to be coming home after and cleaning until the wee hours of the morning like your MIL did?

[The_Dude 1,142]

OK, so now 4 people have come up to me at work to say congratulations and even said that I was being quite gracious about winning the gold. FFS, i'm American you stupid morons, my wife is Canadian. I swear if one more person asks me about something "Canadian" that they saw on the Today Show or some ####### during the Olympics, i'm gonna blow up.

[Kimbear 53]

just take the dang compliments and give em to your wife when ya get home

[SapphireDreams 71]

I lived with my in-laws for a year, and we were supposed to stay until we could save up for a decent down payment on a home. It wasn't desirable to my husband to rent either but my sanity was being tested every day that I lived there. Things don't always go as planned though, and we did have to move out and rent, because there was a few times I thought about leaving and going home.

After a while, things really start to get to you, and what happens when you do get a job? Are you going to be coming home after and cleaning until the wee hours of the morning like your MIL did?

We were in the same situation, we were going to stay at my in-laws until we could purchase something, but in the end, it just made more sense for our marriage and sanity to rent an apartment first and still continue to save slower. My in-laws are pretty easy to deal with too and actually took care of us, but it can definitely take a toll on a relationship to live in a shared residence. Our rent in NYC isn't cheap either, we just knew we weren't ready for the commitment of a house just yet... hopefully in the next couple of years.

At the end of the day, renting has been really nice introduction to having responsibility, not having a big overwhelming space and just moving out and buying our own groceries and paying all our bills etc. The first couple of months of being out of our parents house has been pretty eye opening and will help us to better handle more bills in the future. Right now we just have rent, groceries and time warner... when we have a house we'll have the mortgage, insurance, property taxes, utilities, maintence needs...

Anyways, I guess my point is never say never about renting. Sometimes it does make sense.

[Marilyn. 340]

to be honest I think I would be content to just rent the rest of my life....

owning your own place is just too much work and responsibility

[trailmix 77]

to be honest I think I would be content to just rent the rest of my life....

owning your own place is just too much work and responsibility

I guess it all depends on how you look at it. Home ownership is an investment, renting is paying for someone elses investment really. That would really bug me, but I know it doesn't bug some people

[Sam and Ben 2]

Same reason I never leased a vehicle. It'd be hard to watch that money go towards something I couldn't call my own at the end of the day.

[Sprailenes 47]

Being married is a lot of work, add some in-laws in the mix and it's just crazy.

I couldn't have done it for more than a year. I was on the verge of going nuts.

[trailmix 77]

Actually I just remembered, it wasn't just my Dad, my Grandmother (his Mother) was living there too for a while. I loved my Grandmother, don't get me wrong, but there were a few clashes. My Father was the youngest of 5 children. My Grandmother lived with us and with him at various times, after my Grandfather died. So things are getting a bit tense and she is going to move in with my Aunt.

I come home one day and go in to my room and my dresser drawers have all been emptied, dumped on the bed

My Grandmother has moved to my Aunt's place and I had been using her dresser (it was a tall dresser) and she had been using my dresser (which was the lower type). I was furious! I called my Aunt and told her that - I was not nice. I never spoke to her or saw her again until my Father died. She was a ###### then and she remains so to this day.

Oh and a week or two later Grandma was back

Edited March 1, 2010 by trailmix

[Marilyn. 340]

I loved my in-laws but I can't imagine living with them.. I am glad my hubby found place before I got there.. it was a tiny place but it was better then living with in-laws..lol

[ValerieA 350]

Sam - this may cause more problems than it solves, but you might want to get quotes on how much it would cost to actually hire someone to clean your place. Then compare that to the reduced rent you pay. Show your husband and his family that you are not getting valued for what you do.

Edited March 1, 2010 by ValerieA