The Vent - Part Trois

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

LMAO. Wyatt, LGG and Bern, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I love their music. They make me smile.

I just listened to It's Blitz yesterday. I quite like all their albums...took awhile for their latest to grow on me, but ultimately it did!

[Sprailenes 47]

Thats so funny. Yesterday at the restaurant we went to Ethan told this waitress: "Has anyone ever told you, that you look like Karen O?" The waitress smiled and thought it was cute.

She did look like Karen O which is weird because Karen O doesn't really look like anyone...

[Sam and Ben 2]

Sorry to hear about the sister-in-law who just doesn't get it! My future sister-in-law is similar. In addition she has been doing all she can to make me feel guilty that I am taking her beloved brother from Canada from her (she lives 6 hours away and NEVER visits because of her and her husband's finances) and she has been telling her brother (my fiance') "You will never find a job in the U.S. We don't want you to be worrying about where your mortgage payment will come from or how you will keep the heat turned on." UGH! Go away, woman! My fiance' and I made a decision and put down money on the adventure (i.e. we paid for the k-1 visa petition).

Now on to my biggest VENT: PEOPLE WHO ASK WHY I NEED A VISA TO GET MARRIED AND WHY I CAN'T JUST GET MARRIED NOW! I don't want to be separated from my husband (when we get married).

The last couple of weeks people have been pressing me for "the date" of the wedding so they can make their summer vacation/holiday plans. Trying to explain to them the process is useless. They don't get it. There are several that keep saying, "Why don't you just get married when he comes down to visit next?" They don't understand that if we did that, it is a different visa, he would have to go back to Canada (because he needs to work until the visa is approved and he can permanently stay in the U.S.), and IT IS ANOTHER VISA FEE! In just a few months, I will be able to tell them when our Montreal interview is and even then my fiance' will need to wait for his passport to be mailed back with visa stamp. All our planning is based on the "hope" that he gets an interview in May or June at least 3 weeks before our "proposed" wedding date of July 11, 2010. Why can't people just back off!

What have other K-1 visa applicants done with these crazies?

Honestly, there's little that can be done. I know many of us have faced this.

As the Canadian, I was constantly bombarded with questions as to why I couldn't give an exact date of quitting my job, moving, marrying, etc. Why I needed an employment letter each time I tried to cross the border. Why I wasn't planning some extravagant wedding. Why I wasn't getting married in Canada at all.

I did my best to give them a peek into the ridiculous process, so at least maybe they could try to understand. Some did, others just scoffed with a "well that can't be, you're doing something wrong then." People will be people.

Just take heart in the fact that WE all certainly understand.

[bowflex 0]

Honestly, there's little that can be done. I know many of us have faced this.

As the Canadian, I was constantly bombarded with questions as to why I couldn't give an exact date of quitting my job, moving, marrying, etc. Why I needed an employment letter each time I tried to cross the border. Why I wasn't planning some extravagant wedding. Why I wasn't getting married in Canada at all.

I did my best to give them a peek into the ridiculous process, so at least maybe they could try to understand. Some did, others just scoffed with a "well that can't be, you're doing something wrong then." People will be people.

Just take heart in the fact that WE all certainly understand.

Lol I think I got lucky as my dad went to the lawyer's office with me from the very beginning when we were researching the steps to take. He really loves to talk and I'm pretty sure before I showed up at family functions and stuff that he made their ears bleed with the explanation of how long it really does take.

It was quite odd that while my family understood that the process took a long time, none of my friends ever really asked about it but somehow still thought that I was doing it "the long way" or something.

Whenever I'd get frustrated with that my dad would always joke and say he'd rent a boat for me in Detroit and I could just go cruising across the river and pick up my wife in Canada and bring her back for the night hahaha.

[lgg 2]

I LOVE the Yeah, yeah, Yeahs... how apropos!

You guys rock...

I just listened to It's Blitz yesterday. I quite like all their albums...took awhile for their latest to grow on me, but ultimately it did!

[Sprailenes 47]

So looking at buying homes, and what we can afford in Mount Laurel compared to what we could afford if we lived in Media PA, or something... is insane. Here we will be able to afford a condo, there is a 9 bedroom house we could afford in Media!

Not that I would need or want a 9 bedroom but the comparison is crazy!

Unfortunately I don't have the heart to uproot Ethan again and move him to another school. I don't want him to live the life I did when I was a kid of moving every 2 years so we're staying in Mount Laurel. We may consider the idea of leaving Mount Laurel when he gets into high school and he can go to an arts high school which is what he is talking about too.

I am just floored by the price differences and what you can get just a half hour away.

[bowflex 0]

So looking at buying homes, and what we can afford in Mount Laurel compared to what we could afford if we lived in Media PA, or something... is insane. Here we will be able to afford a condo, there is a 9 bedroom house we could afford in Media!

Not that I would need or want a 9 bedroom but the comparison is crazy!

Unfortunately I don't have the heart to uproot Ethan again and move him to another school. I don't want him to live the life I did when I was a kid of moving every 2 years so we're staying in Mount Laurel. We may consider the idea of leaving Mount Laurel when he gets into high school and he can go to an arts high school which is what he is talking about too.

I am just floored by the price differences and what you can get just a half hour away.

Lol When my wife was looking at houses and stuff it was INSANE how much the property prices differ around here too. Of course it helps that with like $50,000 someone could buy a mansion in Detroit, well that is if no one set it on fire, stripped all the copper wiring out, or spray painted a bunch of racist ####### on it first haha.

[kizza 1]

I did my best to give them a peek into the ridiculous process, so at least maybe they could try to understand. Some did, others just scoffed with a "well that can't be, you're doing something wrong then."

I get a lot of that! I had one friend repeat to me all night at a dinner "why is so complicated for you?, My SIL married an american 10 yrs ago and I'm sure it wasnt that hard."

Recently my fiance was having a beer with his buddy, who was telling him how his friend's Canadian girlfriend had overstayed for years in the US (probably working there illegally too), and she went back to toronto for a wedding a few months ago. Of course she got denied entry back in the US. She managed to talk the ban down to 3yrs instead of 10.

So he is explaining to my fiance that he is flying to toronto the following weekend to get married and bring her back. That simple.

Im like, "Do they think we've spent the last 9 months apart because we are retards?".

God my fiance is patient.

Anyway, the guy came back by himself & unmarried.

[minnew 4]

Sorry to hear about the sister-in-law who just doesn't get it! My future sister-in-law is similar. In addition she has been doing all she can to make me feel guilty that I am taking her beloved brother from Canada from her (she lives 6 hours away and NEVER visits because of her and her husband's finances) and she has been telling her brother (my fiance') "You will never find a job in the U.S. We don't want you to be worrying about where your mortgage payment will come from or how you will keep the heat turned on." UGH! Go away, woman! My fiance' and I made a decision and put down money on the adventure (i.e. we paid for the k-1 visa petition).

Now on to my biggest VENT: PEOPLE WHO ASK WHY I NEED A VISA TO GET MARRIED AND WHY I CAN'T JUST GET MARRIED NOW! I don't want to be separated from my husband (when we get married).

The last couple of weeks people have been pressing me for "the date" of the wedding so they can make their summer vacation/holiday plans. Trying to explain to them the process is useless. They don't get it. There are several that keep saying, "Why don't you just get married when he comes down to visit next?" They don't understand that if we did that, it is a different visa, he would have to go back to Canada (because he needs to work until the visa is approved and he can permanently stay in the U.S.), and IT IS ANOTHER VISA FEE! In just a few months, I will be able to tell them when our Montreal interview is and even then my fiance' will need to wait for his passport to be mailed back with visa stamp. All our planning is based on the "hope" that he gets an interview in May or June at least 3 weeks before our "proposed" wedding date of July 11, 2010. Why can't people just back off!

What have other K-1 visa applicants done with these crazies?

We have all been there! The questions and assumptions get sooooo frustrating! I pretty much just stopped explaining myself. I kept my answers very short and to the point. In regards to the wedding date we had a tentative date planned about 2 months before the interview. We emailed all our friends & family and told them of the date but not to make concrete plans until they got a "save the date" email from theknot.com. Which gave them in total about 6 mos notice.

I have to say family was probably the most understanding, it's all my idiot co workers that had NO CLUE! LoL!

[The_Dude 1,142]

On the way into work this morning, I noticed that the promotion spots that they were running on one of the radio stations that I listen to was significantly changed. They were having an event aparently this friday where people would come down to a giant bar to watch the olympics, and have bar-games etc. They wanted to get international people to participate in their games. The promtions only really mentioned 'come watch the olympic games at __________ bar with people from around the world'. Well, the new promotion they are running is only about 10 seconds long and only mentions watching sports on friday night at the bar. Turns out that the IOC (International Olympic Commitee) has trademarked the term and refuses any use of the word or phrases including it without being one of their "promotional partners". Translation: Pay us to use the word. FFS, I would have thought that the term "olympics" would be one of those generalized terms that is so ingrained in our lexicon that it would be excluded from trademarks. I was wrong. It now explains why all those adverts on the t.v. and radio say never say the word "olympics" or "superbowl".

[lilacvioletiris 11]

I did my best to give them a peek into the ridiculous process, so at least maybe they could try to understand. Some did, others just scoffed with a "well that can't be, you're doing something wrong then." People will be people.

Just take heart in the fact that WE all certainly understand.

Yes, this is exactly the attitude I get from several people. "Well that can't be, you're doing something wrong then"

Which is then followed by kizza's statement!

Im like, "Do they think we've spent the last 9 months apart because we are retards?".

I have no desire to be apart from the man I love. They make me feel like it is my fault I fell in love with a man from another country. "It is still North America, why the big deal about all the security clearances, etc? What is it the government needs to check anyway?"

I am just glad I know there are people here who understand because try as I might unless they have read through the process (they haven't) there is always someone who says, "Oh, so and so got married and it didn't take this long." I have been waiting since Oct. 15 for the government WHICH is only 118 days or 3 months and 26 days. Others have waited so much longer than me! If the USCIS had taken the 5 months they said they could have, I would still be waiting for my NOA2. I try to remind the naysayers, it could have taken longer at the first 2 steps. Now that I am waiting for the Montreal embassy I consider myself lucky. I am still hoping my fiance's packet 3 comes today or tomorrow but if it doesn't, I will keep waiting because there is little else I can do. There is still 5 months and a day until the wedding date I am hoping for. I have faith that Montreal will get an interview date for my fiance in May or June early enough for him to move to the U.S. and marry me on July 11, 2010. But if it doesn't happen on that day, I still know I am going to get married. If these people can't come, that is how life goes.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Yeah...the IOC is a pretty fascist organization. There were several businesses in and around Vancouver that were called "Olympic" or "Olympia" or "Olympus" something-or-other, and the IOC came down very hard on them, demanding they change their names. It's pretty horrible, considering that the Olympic Games go back for several centuries before the concept of trademark came into being... Olympus was a mountain! How can you trademark the name of a mountain?!?

[The_Dude 1,142]

Yeah...the IOC is a pretty fascist organization. There were several businesses in and around Vancouver that were called "Olympic" or "Olympia" or "Olympus" something-or-other, and the IOC came down very hard on them, demanding they change their names. It's pretty horrible, considering that the Olympic Games go back for several centuries before the concept of trademark came into being... Olympus was a mountain! How can you trademark the name of a mountain?!?

Were these business' named "Olympic", "Olympia", or "Olympus" before Vancouver was awarded the games? I always had this notion that the Olympic games were consumer driven, but seeing how insane they are about anyone using the name olypic is absolutely insane.

[Danu 19]

Sorry to hear about the sister-in-law who just doesn't get it! My future sister-in-law is similar. In addition she has been doing all she can to make me feel guilty that I am taking her beloved brother from Canada from her (she lives 6 hours away and NEVER visits because of her and her husband's finances) and she has been telling her brother (my fiance') "You will never find a job in the U.S. We don't want you to be worrying about where your mortgage payment will come from or how you will keep the heat turned on." UGH! Go away, woman! My fiance' and I made a decision and put down money on the adventure (i.e. we paid for the k-1 visa petition).

Now on to my biggest VENT: PEOPLE WHO ASK WHY I NEED A VISA TO GET MARRIED AND WHY I CAN'T JUST GET MARRIED NOW! I don't want to be separated from my husband (when we get married).

The last couple of weeks people have been pressing me for "the date" of the wedding so they can make their summer vacation/holiday plans. Trying to explain to them the process is useless. They don't get it. There are several that keep saying, "Why don't you just get married when he comes down to visit next?" They don't understand that if we did that, it is a different visa, he would have to go back to Canada (because he needs to work until the visa is approved and he can permanently stay in the U.S.), and IT IS ANOTHER VISA FEE! In just a few months, I will be able to tell them when our Montreal interview is and even then my fiance' will need to wait for his passport to be mailed back with visa stamp. All our planning is based on the "hope" that he gets an interview in May or June at least 3 weeks before our "proposed" wedding date of July 11, 2010. Why can't people just back off!

What have other K-1 visa applicants done with these crazies?

I bored them to tears with the longest most drawn out explinations of how the process works and why we couldn't plan a date until they just went "oh" and stopped asking.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Were these business' named "Olympic", "Olympia", or "Olympus" before Vancouver was awarded the games? I always had this notion that the Olympic games were consumer driven, but seeing how insane they are about anyone using the name olypic is absolutely insane.

Oh yeah -- I should have specified that ALL of those businesses were established LONG before the Vancouver Olympic bid was even made.

Here's a story from a few years ago that shows the battle some of these companies had to fight.

Edited February 10, 2010 by Wyatt's Torch