The Vent - Part Trois

[ashenflowers 5]

Am I the only one that gets irritated with well-meaning friends who respond to my apparent stress of this visa process by saying 'well soon it'll be done and then you can move and everything will be perfect!!'. Perfect?!? No, it's not going to be perfect... #######. Yeah, having NO friends or family in the area, and no job/hobbies/support group, unfamiliar surroundings sounds great! Oh, and I also love the comments about the weather (I'm moving to California), as if there's no other reason to move there. Cause yeah, I'm moving for the WEATHER. geez. That just makes me think they think I'm shallow. I actually LIKE snow, thanksverymuch, and there's a million other reasons I'm moving, and despite that, it WON'T be perfect! sigh.

I also love that if I am stressed about anything at all, they blame on this visa thing even if it's completely unrelated. It's like it's PMS. Oh, you're cranky? It must be the PMS/Visa. #######?!

I also hate working Saturday.. AND Sunday, when no one else is in the office because our management is such that for me to take Thurs/Fri off to go to the interview, I have to scramble to get my work covered AND work extra hours myself. It's good times.

I also hate that for a city of well over 300,000 people, our Santa Claus Parade SUCKED.

Ok, I'm done.

[trailmix 77]

That's too bad about the parade!

But hey, on the upside, when you move to California everything will be perfect and the WEATHER - just gorgeous - wait and see!

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Wow, that's quite the vent, Ashenflowers!

I think you have to take it with a grain of salt. They're trying to be supportive and optimistic, even though they have no clue what the process entails. I'd rather those little attempts at encouragement than utter apathy.

You're totally entitled to your vent (it's the vent thread!), but if you're not looking forward to moving down there, why ARE you moving down there and not vice versa?

Just to put it in perspective... The initial plan was for my wife (who lives in D.C.) to move here to Vancouver. Then, after we got engaged, we decided that we could move to Bellingham, WA, and have her commute to Seattle and me commute to Surrey for work, given that Bellingham is a lot cheaper, and she wouldn't need to worry about immigration for herself...plus she'd still be able to get paid in U.S. funds etc. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she would be giving up more than I would in a lot of ways. She has more friends than I do, she's closer with her family than I am, and her job is admittedly better than my job was. I considered all the factors, and decided it would make more sense for me to move down there...even though I'd be leaving a city I know and love, leaving family behind etc. But when I made the decision, I made it definitively. I've committed to it, and I now relish the thought of moving down there. I can't wait. I'm so excited for it. Sure, most of that is because I'll simply be reunited with my wife...but a large part of it is because the prospect of such a huge change thrills me, too. It's often a GOOD thing to shake up your life like that...but I think you have to make sure that you know you're doing the right thing for yourself! Just my two cents!

[Sprailenes 47]

That's too bad about the parade!

But hey, on the upside, when you move to California everything will be perfect and the WEATHER - just gorgeous - wait and see!

Okay you gotta admit that was really funny!

[Sam and Ben 2]

Am I the only one that gets irritated with well-meaning friends who respond to my apparent stress of this visa process by saying 'well soon it'll be done and then you can move and everything will be perfect!!'. Perfect?!? No, it's not going to be perfect... #######. Yeah, having NO friends or family in the area, and no job/hobbies/support group, unfamiliar surroundings sounds great! Oh, and I also love the comments about the weather (I'm moving to California), as if there's no other reason to move there. Cause yeah, I'm moving for the WEATHER. geez. That just makes me think they think I'm shallow. I actually LIKE snow, thanksverymuch, and there's a million other reasons I'm moving, and despite that, it WON'T be perfect! sigh.

I also love that if I am stressed about anything at all, they blame on this visa thing even if it's completely unrelated. It's like it's PMS. Oh, you're cranky? It must be the PMS/Visa. #######?!

I also hate working Saturday.. AND Sunday, when no one else is in the office because our management is such that for me to take Thurs/Fri off to go to the interview, I have to scramble to get my work covered AND work extra hours myself. It's good times.

I also hate that for a city of well over 300,000 people, our Santa Claus Parade SUCKED.

Ok, I'm done.

(hug)

I understand where you're coming from.

Especially with everyone attributing your stress to visa concerns. My boss puts far too much pressure on me most days, and as he knows that I've got about eight million things on the go right now, on a day where I seem to be particular passed the pushing point, he'll pull me aside and tell me to take things easy. He "understands" how stressful my personal stuff is right now, but I need to let that all be put aside so I don't get myself sick.

Um... what was my excuse a year ago when you drove me nuts and had me running in a hundred different directions? It wasn't a visa process, that's for sure...

As far as the friends go, they don't understand - it's hard to, without going through something like this yourself. It's like the belief that everything just suddenly disappears once the interview passes. Nope. But for what it's worth, they probably are just trying to extend whatever sympathy/support they can your way.

[Arabella 4]

Am I the only one that gets irritated with well-meaning friends who respond to my apparent stress of this visa process by saying 'well soon it'll be done and then you can move and everything will be perfect!!'. Perfect?!? No, it's not going to be perfect... #######. Yeah, having NO friends or family in the area, and no job/hobbies/support group, unfamiliar surroundings sounds great! Oh, and I also love the comments about the weather (I'm moving to California), as if there's no other reason to move there. Cause yeah, I'm moving for the WEATHER. geez. That just makes me think they think I'm shallow. I actually LIKE snow, thanksverymuch, and there's a million other reasons I'm moving, and despite that, it WON'T be perfect! sigh.

I also love that if I am stressed about anything at all, they blame on this visa thing even if it's completely unrelated. It's like it's PMS. Oh, you're cranky? It must be the PMS/Visa. #######?!

I also hate working Saturday.. AND Sunday, when no one else is in the office because our management is such that for me to take Thurs/Fri off to go to the interview, I have to scramble to get my work covered AND work extra hours myself. It's good times.

I also hate that for a city of well over 300,000 people, our Santa Claus Parade SUCKED.

Ok, I'm done.

(hug)

I understand where you're coming from.

Especially with everyone attributing your stress to visa concerns. My boss puts far too much pressure on me most days, and as he knows that I've got about eight million things on the go right now, on a day where I seem to be particular passed the pushing point, he'll pull me aside and tell me to take things easy. He "understands" how stressful my personal stuff is right now, but I need to let that all be put aside so I don't get myself sick.

Um... what was my excuse a year ago when you drove me nuts and had me running in a hundred different directions? It wasn't a visa process, that's for sure...

As far as the friends go, they don't understand - it's hard to, without going through something like this yourself. It's like the belief that everything just suddenly disappears once the interview passes. Nope. But for what it's worth, they probably are just trying to extend whatever sympathy/support they can your way.

Sam don't say you don't have any friends in Florida. You've already got me!

[Sam and Ben 2]

Sam don't say you don't have any friends in Florida. You've already got me!

Hehe. What's the halfway point between Casselberry and Cocoa Beach?

[Malrothien 6]

Sam don't say you don't have any friends in Florida. You've already got me!

Hehe. What's the halfway point between Casselberry and Cocoa Beach?

Titusville.

[ashenflowers 5]

Wow, that's quite the vent, Ashenflowers!

I think you have to take it with a grain of salt. They're trying to be supportive and optimistic, even though they have no clue what the process entails. I'd rather those little attempts at encouragement than utter apathy.

You're totally entitled to your vent (it's the vent thread!), but if you're not looking forward to moving down there, why ARE you moving down there and not vice versa?

Just to put it in perspective... The initial plan was for my wife (who lives in D.C.) to move here to Vancouver. Then, after we got engaged, we decided that we could move to Bellingham, WA, and have her commute to Seattle and me commute to Surrey for work, given that Bellingham is a lot cheaper, and she wouldn't need to worry about immigration for herself...plus she'd still be able to get paid in U.S. funds etc. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she would be giving up more than I would in a lot of ways. She has more friends than I do, she's closer with her family than I am, and her job is admittedly better than my job was. I considered all the factors, and decided it would make more sense for me to move down there...even though I'd be leaving a city I know and love, leaving family behind etc. But when I made the decision, I made it definitively. I've committed to it, and I now relish the thought of moving down there. I can't wait. I'm so excited for it. Sure, most of that is because I'll simply be reunited with my wife...but a large part of it is because the prospect of such a huge change thrills me, too. It's often a GOOD thing to shake up your life like that...but I think you have to make sure that you know you're doing the right thing for yourself! Just my two cents!

Thanks Wyatt... I hope it all works out well for you guys, and it sounds like it will

I should have put more detail into my vent, but I don't always like doing that... but hey, since you opened that can of worms haha

I DO want to move there... I really do. It would be 100x easier for my fiance to move back here, because he is dual citizen and used to live here before anyways. But opportunities for both of us there are much better in terms of schooling, career AND lifestyle. It's freaken Santa Barbara for crying out loud. It's AMAZING, in so many ways. I really don't like living where I am now, and I hate my job and my life is leading no where. I've wanted to get out of this city for years... before I even met my fiance. I am really excited to live there, I'm just leery about the first few months/year. My fiancé has no friends there. He is not very social on his own, and has only been there a little over a year and a 1/2. So it's not like I am going to be able to gain his friends, ya know? I can feel very lonely and depressed easily, and we won't have a lot of money for me to do stuff, so even though there's so much to Santa Barbara, I think it will be a struggle to not turn into a hermitty recluse while he's at work during the day and I'm alone.

But, he gave up a lot to move down there as well (which he did before meeting me, go figure), so we together decided it would be a waste of time for him to have blown all of that only to come back here again, even if that seemed 'easier'. Neither of us would be happy here, even if we had our friends. I AM excited to move, but I guess I don't like the naivety of people who thing it will solve ALL of life's problems, whether they mean it supportively or not.

but yes trailmix... the weather will be gorgeous LOL goof.

[ashenflowers 5]

Am I the only one that gets irritated with well-meaning friends who respond to my apparent stress of this visa process by saying 'well soon it'll be done and then you can move and everything will be perfect!!'. Perfect?!? No, it's not going to be perfect... #######. Yeah, having NO friends or family in the area, and no job/hobbies/support group, unfamiliar surroundings sounds great! Oh, and I also love the comments about the weather (I'm moving to California), as if there's no other reason to move there. Cause yeah, I'm moving for the WEATHER. geez. That just makes me think they think I'm shallow. I actually LIKE snow, thanksverymuch, and there's a million other reasons I'm moving, and despite that, it WON'T be perfect! sigh.

I also love that if I am stressed about anything at all, they blame on this visa thing even if it's completely unrelated. It's like it's PMS. Oh, you're cranky? It must be the PMS/Visa. #######?!

I also hate working Saturday.. AND Sunday, when no one else is in the office because our management is such that for me to take Thurs/Fri off to go to the interview, I have to scramble to get my work covered AND work extra hours myself. It's good times.

I also hate that for a city of well over 300,000 people, our Santa Claus Parade SUCKED.

Ok, I'm done.

(hug)

I understand where you're coming from.

Especially with everyone attributing your stress to visa concerns. My boss puts far too much pressure on me most days, and as he knows that I've got about eight million things on the go right now, on a day where I seem to be particular passed the pushing point, he'll pull me aside and tell me to take things easy. He "understands" how stressful my personal stuff is right now, but I need to let that all be put aside so I don't get myself sick.

Um... what was my excuse a year ago when you drove me nuts and had me running in a hundred different directions? It wasn't a visa process, that's for sure...

As far as the friends go, they don't understand - it's hard to, without going through something like this yourself. It's like the belief that everything just suddenly disappears once the interview passes. Nope. But for what it's worth, they probably are just trying to extend whatever sympathy/support they can your way.

Thanks Sam *hug*

I think having one of my friends telling me they are really sad about it and don't want me to move, and how it'll be so weird that I won't be around anymore isn't helping. I just don't know what to say to that.

Sorry about your boss. I really think bosses are disconnected from reality sometimes.

[Sam and Ben 2]

Thanks Wyatt... I hope it all works out well for you guys, and it sounds like it will

I should have put more detail into my vent, but I don't always like doing that... but hey, since you opened that can of worms haha

I DO want to move there... I really do. It would be 100x easier for my fiance to move back here, because he is dual citizen and used to live here before anyways. But opportunities for both of us there are much better in terms of schooling, career AND lifestyle. It's freaken Santa Barbara for crying out loud. It's AMAZING, in so many ways. I really don't like living where I am now, and I hate my job and my life is leading no where. I've wanted to get out of this city for years... before I even met my fiance. I am really excited to live there, I'm just leery about the first few months/year. My fiancé has no friends there. He is not very social on his own, and has only been there a little over a year and a 1/2. So it's not like I am going to be able to gain his friends, ya know? I can feel very lonely and depressed easily, and we won't have a lot of money for me to do stuff, so even though there's so much to Santa Barbara, I think it will be a struggle to not turn into a hermitty recluse while he's at work during the day and I'm alone.

But, he gave up a lot to move down there as well (which he did before meeting me, go figure), so we together decided it would be a waste of time for him to have blown all of that only to come back here again, even if that seemed 'easier'. Neither of us would be happy here, even if we had our friends. I AM excited to move, but I guess I don't like the naivety of people who thing it will solve ALL of life's problems, whether they mean it supportively or not.

but yes trailmix... the weather will be gorgeous LOL goof.

Heh, if you figure out a fix to this one, let me know!

I swear, my fiance socializes more when I visit and suggest that he invite some of his buddies over than he ever does on his own.

And it is tough leaving behind folks that don't want you to go. Unfortunately, due to school or work or their own lives, all of my friends pretty much dissipated from my area anyhow. It's my mom who's making it a little harder on me. Either way, I know it's tough.

Edited November 15, 2009 by Sam and Ben

[JillA 2]

Even though it's incredibly hard to leave your friends/family, I think having friend(s) telling you they are sad you're leaving and it won't be the same without you is a compliment.... I mean you don't want them cheering your departure now do you!!

[Arabella 4]

Sam don't say you don't have any friends in Florida. You've already got me!

Hehe. What's the halfway point between Casselberry and Cocoa Beach?

Titusville.

[ashenflowers 5]

Even though it's incredibly hard to leave your friends/family, I think having friend(s) telling you they are sad you're leaving and it won't be the same without you is a compliment.... I mean you don't want them cheering your departure now do you!!

No, I guess not. There's enough people saying good riddance. lol

[Arabella 4]

Sam don't say you don't have any friends in Florida. You've already got me!

Hehe. What's the halfway point between Casselberry and Cocoa Beach?

Titusville.

Cool. We can meet up at Kennedy Space Center!