the Christian Con Man

[Simply_Uno 1]

UNO you never offend me because i know you come from love.

Culture confused me because I was so cautious around it. Meaning caring and considerate that I did not want to confuse fraud with culture. I would have ended things sooner, if I was not not considerate and cautious to assign meaning to the confusion.

Two men in my son's 11 years of life. Never desperate to be with a man, if that the case I would have given up on this darn process and took someone closer. LOL I see how money motivated me. First it was the free trip to Africa. Then money to spend in Africa and money when I needed help. (money stopped once my husband was here) So i thought, i had nothing to loose, but I did loose something and gained something. Glad it all balanced out. But sadly its hard to look back at that African experience and see all the deceit and lies that went on around me. Now my vacation is gone. live and learn. I can only laugh at myself in a loving way.

that was funny as hell

[Enlighten one :) 5]

I found that video of my friends Daughter's facebook page. She wrote at the top: "this is my family". Her mother married an African who left her right after two years. Sad that my son might feel the same way, because of the way my Ex ended things.

Ahhhhoooo

I love this Utube video, I had to laugh cause its so TRUE!!!!!

[wellmux 3]

Hi Enlighten One,

I am so sorry to read ur story and my condolences are with u i dont know how to express my feelings with u , in the last days i been reading Administrative Processings Threads but today i found this Thread and i read ur story and i feel so sad about that, Its good that u found him as fraud before u both had kids together , My wife is an american citizen and i love her so much my case is in Administrative Processing, While i was readin ur posts today in this thread i was thinking to myself that i would never do that with my wife i love her so much right now this time shes at work she left me offline messages saying that shes going to work and when i came online i saw her offline messages replied them and all i am doing is now reading ur sad story, its another good thing that u did not had to pay for the long trip to nigeria, i wish ur husband stayed positive as he was positive in the beginning, i have had some fights with my wife but then we make up and those fights are not with hate or anything bad but in the end we make up and ours fights stay for just one day and then we miss each other, my wife came pakistan in 2007 and stayed with me 2 months when she comes online i will show her ur story and lets see what she thinks then ,

i am 28 years and in this age i have learnt that most of the woman who gets married they want a happy life they want to serve their husbands and make him happy and it also depends on men to do what they have to do as being a husband run home and pay bills,

i see ur husbands interview was in July and he received the visa in december i bet it was after too much difficulties to get him a visa and he should respect u and the visa that he received the visa and stay positive with u, I am sorry for my english i hope u understand, ur husband should have looked back at the sacrifices that u and him done by waiting years to be together , yes prepare proofs against him and get him out of USA he does not deserve to live there,

I am so much angry at him i want to write more but i am burning inside , because there are good men in the world even bad men also available here.

i think maybe he was fed up of u maybe because ur a disable woman ( this i have read in some threads of u) but all i can say is that he was fraud and he used u , he already knew that u was disable before marrying u,

I am with u and dont worry insha Allah there will be a good man for u God want u happy as ur His kid this is what my wife says, and remember that hard times teaches u to be strong.

one more thing i want to say is that i am muslim and my wife is christian and she trust me and if i do any fraud with her or stab in her back it will make her think that all muslims are like this, and then she will not beleive muslims i dont want my religion to get down in her eyes not even myself she have bigggg respect for me and i also have great respect with her,

Edited November 17, 2009 by wellmux

[Enlighten one :) 5]

I am not disabled.

He claimed and appeared to be a faithful man to God. I am sure he believeds he was. But the fact that he lied showed he does not trust his God or have faith. I see his weeknes through his lying.

I will be redeemed as God's child. AMEN

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Just in case you missed it the first time around.

Yesterday my friend in my office returned from getting her coffee. While she was in line she overheard a gentleman discussing how his sister was used by a Nigerian for immigration purposes.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Actually going public when you say that the brother paid you to go there and paid for everything until the process was complete just makes it sound like you were one of those women that marries for a fee. They tend to be pretty good actors about how valid the marriage is during the process and how they were wronged as soon as the contact is done with. Not sure that is the type of thing you might want to have brought up.

He did not pay me to go there, but obviously now he did. I was just an expense and not a sister inlaw. That is exactly what it sounds like, you are not my judge and jury. I don't care what you think. I am here to help not hurt. He paid for the trip, paid for my passport, and spending money since I was not in a finacial situation to fully experience being in Africa. Single parent who put herself through college.

I commented that money did motivate my decision making process. Meaning my down fall , my ahah moment in this process as I look back, is that had everyting not been taken care of I would have never moved forward. I did not want to focus on the fact that I did not pay for anything to take away from the woman who were conned after they paid for everything. I don't want my story to be any different then theirs.

I was wronged once the man called the cops on me using the public's money, taking away protection from real citizens, at my sons expence to prove/pretend he did marry me becasue of love. It wasn't until then that I hyjacked his email to discover further evidence that he was a fake. A smile in your face fake.

[Simply_Uno 1]

Actually going public when you say that the brother paid you to go there and paid for everything until the process was complete just makes it sound like you were one of those women that marries for a fee. They tend to be pretty good actors about how valid the marriage is during the process and how they were wronged as soon as the contact is done with. Not sure that is the type of thing you might want to have brought up.

ahem...s'cuse me , but I think she stated....

1} His brother paid for everything. Once his brother was here the money stopped. I supported him and my mother paid for his CNA school.

2} Now everything was paid for, I stayed in expensive hotels when I was in Nigeria. I was sent money for the trip. My passport and medical shots all paid for.

these are from 2 different posts, i dont see where she states that the "brother paid her to go there," NOR where does it sound like or infer that she married for a fee...atleast not to me anyways

back to our regularly scheduled postings...lalalalalalahhhh

I'm just sayin ...........

UNO

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Thanks UNO

Once he was here I took care of all his needs, I felt appreciative to the experience and support I had while we were going through the immigration process. But the fact that financial assistance halted once he was here was another red flag. Duh on me. LMAO

[rlogan 2,036]

So Nigeria has a lot of these con men who have $2million from the treasury they want to send you, right?

There's nothing against Nigeria per se in observing that. There are fine people from Nigeria. But you are supposed to be watching out for this particular scam, coming mostly out of Nigeria.

It is not surprising that there would be nigerian marriage-scam guys. Maybe other things too. There are a few other countries for which marriage visa scams are particularly notable for fraud, and there again it is not saying anything bad about the other good people of those countries.

My wife took my DNA. Implanted it in this kid. Now the DNA is mixed up with hers and I can't get my DNA back. It's a common Filipina scam. Stick with their husbands in order to rob them of their DNA.

Yes, the video is funny.

[Nwanyioma 11]

Mrs. J,

Im really sorry to hear about your situation.Im not justifying what your ex did, but not all Nigerians are bad.I am a Nigerian woman myself and so is my fiancee and your situation can happen to anybody from any culture. But I want to respond to the rhogan. Before you judge not all nigerians are scammers. I just want to make that clear. And before you start stereotyping, you have to get your facts straight.Scammers can go and come from anywhere. Im just so sick of people like rhogan using rediculous stereotypes and inaccurate information to prove a point.Its plain ignorance. Yes your entitled to your own opinion, but your opinion is wrong, bias, and baseless. Its has no merit.So please be careful on what you post when your talking about ones country.

Nwanyioma

[reeses16 8]

Mrs. J, again, I'm glad you posted your story. Not every visa journey ends well. Just as VJ serves those going through the immigration process it can be a powerful support system and place of advice for those who are ending their marriages and journeys.

In reading your posts, the idea that your Ex was a Christian has really stuck in my mind and I wanted to share my thoughts with everyone. My husband always says, "Your enemy, even the devil himself, will come to you in the name of Jesus." I think this the perfect way to sum up my own experiences. Often times people use their Christian identity to gain favor in certain situations or as part of deception. My dad became a minister late in life, well after I was an adult and living on my own. I've seen how people approach him in social situations before and after becoming "Reverend". My father hired a contractor to do work on his home, based on the fact that the man was a Christian in need (he was down on his luck, they had discussed the church he attends, the man's family, etc.). The man had no experience in several of the specific tasks that parents need to be completed. My mom and I urged him not to use this man. After all, this was a business/service arrangement, if he wanted to help the guy he could do that but that was separate from business. He didn't listen. By the time my husband got to the US, work on the house had began. My husband stayed with my parents for several weeks. He was home all day (waiting for his work permit!) and could see what was going on. The man was late to work, didn't show up some days,etc. My hubby approached my dad with his concerns and suggested that he fire the man and complete the work using another contractor. He didn't listen to that either. Before he was a minister, my dad would never have hired someone who was not experienced (or kept someone who was not performing their duties). But as a reverend made an exception for this "Christian" man. Finally he stopped answering his phone and never returned and ran off with their money- it was a huge mess (complicated mess)- there was even a lien on my parents house! The managed to get the lien off and 3 years later, the man was arrested, convicted, and is on probation- he still hasn't repaid my parents their money. He did the same thing to another couple about 30 miles away.

My point is sometimes people make exceptions, despite better judgment, because someone is Christian (or shares some other characteristic, belief, or view that is importation to them). They shouldn't. And sometimes people figure they can use the Christianity angle to get you to make exceptions- "so and so is a Christian, I can trust them".

Mrs. J, thanks again for sharing your story. Your son is precious and this must be confusing for him. Continue talking with him and helping him see his way through this.

Edited November 22, 2009 by reeses16

[Simply_Uno 1]

Not every visa journey ends well.

So true, and most of times there are pre-warning signs.

Just as VJ serves those going through the immigration process it can be a powerful support system and place of advice for those who are ending their marriages and journeys.

So true again, that may not have been what VJ started off as, but it has surely incorporated that aspect into its being.

In reading your posts, the idea that your Ex was a Christian has really stuck in my mind and I wanted to share my thoughts with everyone.

My husband always says, "Your enemy, even the devil himself, will come to you in the name of Jesus."

Your husband was on point with this one , and might I add, "try the spirit by the spirit!"

My dad became a minister late in life, well after I was an adult and living on my own.

I've seen how people approach him in social situations before and after becoming "Reverend". {Ummmm-Hmmmmm}

My father hired a contractor to do work on his home, based on the fact that the man was a Christian in need

(he was down on his luck, they had discussed the church he attends, the man's family, etc.).

1) The man had no experience in several of the specific tasks that parents need to be completed.

1a)My mom and I urged him not to use this man.

After all, 1b)this was a business/service arrangement,

if he wanted to help the guy he could do that but that was separate from business.

1c) He didn't listen.

The man was late to work, didn't show up some days,etc.

My hubby approached my dad with his concerns and suggested that he fire the man and complete the work using another contractor. He didn't listen to that either.

Before he was a minister, my dad would never have hired someone who was not experienced (or kept someone who was not performing their duties). But as a reverend made an exception for this "Christian" man.

Finally he stopped answering his phone and never returned and ran off with their money-

He did the same thing to another couple about 30 miles away.

My point is sometimes people make exceptions, despite better judgment, because someone is Christian (or shares some other characteristic, belief, or view that is importation to them). They shouldn't.

And sometimes people figure they can use the Christianity angle to get you to make exceptions- "so and so is a Christian, I can trust them".

Mrs. J, thanks again for sharing your story. Your son is precious and this must be confusing for him. Continue talking with him and helping him see his way through this.

reese, your story "rings" of so much truth and rocks crying out!

I applaud you for using this personal story as a means of helping others.

god bless you

UNO

[Enlighten one :) 5]

you are right Nwanyioma Scammers are everywhere.

I think my focus is more on the fact that he was Christian then he was a Nigerian. *wink But I am posting in a NIgerian Portal talking about my Nigerian husband. Doesn't mean that all Nigerians are bad. I am speaking to my specific situation.

1. If you have doubt and your SO is over seas, please trust me that it only get more difficult once he is here. YOur doubts will carry over into the relationship damaging it even when he might be sincere. If you have doubt you are doubting your decision making abilities.

2. If your last relationship was unhealthy and you did nothing significant to change, your next one will be unhelathy.

I am just hoping more woman will feel comfortable posting their story, should they get conned. ONly to prevent woman from moving forward despite their doubts. OR staying in a relationship to prevent embarrasement from people who might say I told you so.

Mrs. J,

Im really sorry to hear about your situation.Im not justifying what your ex did, but not all Nigerians are bad.I am a Nigerian woman myself and so is my fiancee and your situation can happen to anybody from any culture. But I want to respond to the rhogan. Before you judge not all nigerians are scammers. I just want to make that clear. And before you start stereotyping, you have to get your facts straight.Scammers can go and come from anywhere. Im just so sick of people like rhogan using rediculous stereotypes and inaccurate information to prove a point.Its plain ignorance. Yes your entitled to your own opinion, but your opinion is wrong, bias, and baseless. Its has no merit.So please be careful on what you post when your talking about ones country.

Nwanyioma

[momov31 2]

Hi all, i just wanted to ask why was it such a surprise for a christian to sin or for him to commit a sin, is there anyone here that hasnt committed a sin that cannot be forgiven and still call themselves christians. I know for a fact im a work in progress and cannot nor will i ever say that im above sinning. i cant judge anyone but i can pray for them and with them and hope they will do the same for me. I know my GOD will forgive me and help me forgive those that wrong me, so there is no way i can not forgive others and yes i consider myself a christian and this morning i had to pray for forgiveness because lord knows my teenager made me want to lose my religion. I'm not saying what he did or didnt do is ok but why hold him to a higher christian standard then you would yourself, he is human and we all we fall short of the glory. I say pray for him, pray for you and pray for your son. Now if anyone on here can say they dont sin ok im sorry i havent met you yet and keep doing you. Be blessed

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Christians sin weekly, daily. It is true dedicated work not to.

But to use the lords name to commit sin is a whole different ball park. He will have to answer to his. That is not my job.

Hi all, i just wanted to ask why was it such a surprise for a christian to sin or for him to commit a sin, is there anyone here that hasnt committed a sin that cannot be forgiven and still call themselves christians. I know for a fact im a work in progress and cannot nor will i ever say that im above sinning. i cant judge anyone but i can pray for them and with them and hope they will do the same for me. I know my GOD will forgive me and help me forgive those that wrong me, so there is no way i can not forgive others and yes i consider myself a christian and this morning i had to pray for forgiveness because lord knows my teenager made me want to lose my religion. I'm not saying what he did or didnt do is ok but why hold him to a higher christian standard then you would yourself, he is human and we all we fall short of the glory. I say pray for him, pray for you and pray for your son. Now if anyone on here can say they dont sin ok im sorry i havent met you yet and keep doing you. Be blessed