the Christian Con Man

[Simply_Uno 1]

whew, mrs.J, I am sorry for you.

you have my deepest condolences on the death of your marriage

I am so glad I don't have to endure this VJ or any of its turmoil any more and I know once you give yourself an opportunity to "honor" yourself, your emotions, and "learn the lesson" as it was presented, you will be able to exhale as well

it seems as if you have done what so many women continue to do and that is confuse/mislabel bad behavior and treacherousness for cultural differences .

ladies, I implore you to learn what a "cultural difference" is!

stop making excuses for foreign SO's bad behaviors and phuqed up attitudes. if you wont tolerate that ####### from one of your very own, why then will you do it for someone with an accent???????

o.k. mrs. J, sorry for ranting, but, I just could not and would not make allowances for that ####### that "that" man attempted to put me through while he was still over seas and I certainly was not going to delude myself and bring his tail over here so he could so-call say "I gotcha!" to me.

grannie didn't raise no fool!

but anyway, I pray you well

[Perseverance 1]

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I hope that you have the strength to stay with this and turn him in. He knowingly commited fraud, he did not have compassion for you, nor for your son. It really upsets me when there are children involved. Please be an example to everyone and use the information that you have, you were shown that information for a reason. Stay strong. We are all here supporting you.

P

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Uno.. Thank you for you post.

He not only used Culture, but he used God. That is the sad part. It was pure torture for me in the end. When I started to know something was wrong I couldn't even stand to look at him.

Here is the great news. I look back and see where I faultered myself. If it was'nt him two years ago, it would have been an unhealthy american user/liar. Because I was marrying a Pastor, i worked harder on my relationship with the mighty king above. I spent two years technically alone (waiting on the process) with focus on me being 100% for my God and my husband.

I am such a better woman for my experience. I am healthier, wiser, and stronger.

whew, mrs.J, I am sorry for you.

you have my deepest condolences on the death of your marriage

I am so glad I don't have to endure this VJ or any of its turmoil any more and I know once you give yourself an opportunity to "honor" yourself, your emotions, and "learn the lesson" as it was presented, you will be able to exhale as well

it seems as if you have done what so many women continue to do and that is confuse/mislabel bad behavior and treacherousness for cultural differences .

ladies, I implore you to learn what a "cultural difference" is!

stop making excuses for foreign SO's bad behaviors and phuqed up attitudes. if you wont tolerate that ####### from one of your very own, why then will you do it for someone with an accent???????

o.k. mrs. J, sorry for ranting, but, I just could not and would not make allowances for that ####### that "that" man attempted to put me through while he was still over seas and I certainly was not going to delude myself and bring his tail over here so he could so-call say "I gotcha!" to me.

grannie didn't raise no fool!

but anyway, I pray you well

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Hey Perseverance, Thanks for your post. I had to wait to post until I had my strength. The worst part of all is that he did this in front of my son. When I ended things with him, I envisioned Elijah and I taking him to the airport so Elijah had some closure. I know Elijah is confused, but feels no loss. My husband carefully and calculative did not pond with my son. He often left him alone when h returned from school, which was so frustrating for me.

I will submit all my documents. Then that will be my final closure.

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I hope that you have the strength to stay with this and turn him in. He knowingly committed fraud, he did not have compassion for you, nor for your son. It really upsets me when there are children involved. Please be an example to everyone and use the information that you have, you were shown that information for a reason. Stay strong. We are all here supporting you.

P

[Simply_Uno 1]

Uno.. Thank you for you post.

He not only used Culture, but

1) >>>{he used God.}<<<

That is the sad part. It was pure torture for me in the end. When I started to know something was wrong I couldn't even stand to look at him.

Here is the great news. I look back and see where I faultered myself. If it was'nt him two years ago, it would have been an unhealthy american user/liar. Because I was marrying a Pastor, i worked harder on my relationship with the mighty king above. I spent two years technically alone (waiting on the process) with focus on me being 100% for my God and my husband.

I am such a better woman for my experience. I am healthier, wiser, and stronger.

whew, mrs.J, I am sorry for you.

you have my deepest condolences on the death of your marriage

I am so glad I don't have to endure this VJ or any of its turmoil any more and I know once you give yourself an opportunity to "honor" yourself, your emotions, and "learn the lesson" as it was presented, you will be able to exhale as well

it seems as if you have done what so many women continue to do and that is confuse/mislabel

1a)>>>{bad behavior and treacherousness}<<<

for cultural differences .

ladies, I implore you to

2)>>>learn what a "cultural difference" is!<<<

stop making excuses for foreign SO's bad behaviors and phuqed up attitudes.

3)>>>if you wont tolerate that ####### from one of your very own, why then will you do it for someone with an accent???????<<<

o.k. mrs. J, sorry for ranting, but, I just could not and would not make allowances for that ####### that "that" man attempted to put me through while he was still over seas and I certainly was not going to delude myself and bring his tail over here so he could so-call say "I gotcha!" to me.

grannie didn't raise no fool!

but anyway, I pray you well

mrs. j,

(and all who have gone through and are going through a similar situation)

being heart-lonely and emotionally frustrated can give rise to desperation's in which novel exoticism's

(accents, looks, culture ) appear to be hypnotizing, mesmerizing, and self gratifying

{i.e. illusions}, but one must still use sound, sober and common senses in all dealings of the heart in order to protect the heart.

all my best to you

UNO

Edited November 11, 2009 by UNO...

[justashooter 430]

agreed that cultural difference can confuse interpretation of an individual's intent. agreed that "christian" has many different meanings to many different people, and that some use christianity as a facade for fraud. a shame that you were so long in realisiing this, but you are where you are, now, so must start from the here and now.

burn the creep, and be sure to examine future prospects more carefully. it doesn't matter where a man is from. if he is not productive and kind, and does not display good behaviours and the result of such, he is a creep and should not take up your time and resources. "by their fruits shall ye know them".

[taurean 0]

Mrs. J:

It was brave of you to relate your story on a public forum, and even better that you provided some details about your experience. Perhaps some other person who is going down the same road will be helped. Let's hope that those who are having doubts will read your story carefully and take heed. Although, unfortunately I think once one is emotionally involved, red flags tend to be explained away easily. Nonetheless, I am glad that your were candid about what you went through. Even if one person is helped that is a plus. It's also good to see that you seem to have ended up in a very strong place emotionally despite this mess. Here's to continued blessings in your life.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Thanks both Taurean and Just a shooter!

Yes, I hope I encourage more women to share their stories. I am so proud of myself that I was courageous just to end this mess. It would be so much easier to keep pretending. I had to face people at work, family and still friends as the randomly come and go. But if I can help just one Woman be aware of what to look for.

Yes it is true that once you are involved and half way through the process you keep going even with your doubts. I had my doubt when he was overseas. you can look at my past post advising woman on what to look for in fraud...why because i was possibly going through it and other women had confided in me in what they went through.

There are woman that I have come accross are possible going through what I am. I want them to post their story. God puts us through our journey to help us grow and help others walk through the valley.

[BESANGIN 0]

Mrs. J,

I am so sorry to hear this news. I try to stay away from this site too much because it brings that anger back when I hear these stories. I have been a part of this journey before, during and after. It is very true if you let it cut you to the heart you will learn from it and be a stronger, wiser woman for it. Those who take the victim role and don't acknowledge their own errors in the situation will definitely repeat the same mistake. Life after a visa heartache, and you've been renewed is GREAT!!!!!! Outside of losing my son to an A$$hole, life has been fantastic for me. I'm not dating yet, but going through what I went through makes me very selective with who I chose to be with and eventually have interact with my son. I guess you can say I have my very own theme song... "Gold Digger" by Kanye West!!!!! "You can say I'ma gold digga ' cause I ain't messin' wit no BROKE DOWN, LYIN' A$$, CHEATIN', WEAK, HO' NIG$#@!!!!!! But back to the serious...I will tell you to do you, focus on you, and TRUST, God is gonna put a WHOOPIN' on that A$$!!!! Its a shame but I have heard with my own ears a lot of Nigeran people say that my EX coming to AMERICA and getting his greencard was from GOD!!! Well listen up DAMNIT, the God I serve does not put down another person to build up another, and SATAN gives gifts too, only his come with consequences! You sell your soul for it, you gonna burn in HELL for it. Mine sold his winkie for it 'cause that's all he brought to the table. He just didn't know that his soul was part of the deal. But hang tough, girl. You'll be using my theme song in no time.

[SweetBliss 0]

Mrs J,

I think we have alot in common, Im so sorry to hear about your problems and I wish we wouldnt have to deal with such men!! If you want to talk a bit just PM me.

[Mme Rej 0]

Enlighten, this is my own story too......I am just in the process.....If there is a willing God, this man will go bye bye......

I am sorry to hear yours also, but these men of the dark land, are basically all the same and if they remain married to the US, Candian or europeen women, wow these women will be lied, cheated, and disrupted for the rest of their entire lives......YES, women need to be aware...

We have been used and abused..Its up to us to stop this madness..

I say: the conditional green card should be 5-10 years instead of two..Hows that for a fact...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is my own to share

In 2004 I went to Cameroon Africa to marry a man whom I thought was in love with me, was single and no children.. I have went through all of the immigration processes to get him overhere in the US. This past March 2009, he finally received his 10 year green card.

We have been having alot of problems since he has been in the US since 2006. After he recieved his ten year green card he made life unbearrable for me the USC..finally on Sept 2nd with the help of my sister I have threw him out of the house..He left...There is quite a twist to this man...He left quite fast and forgot a few things here and very revealing proofs. Audios and chat he was having all alone with his traditional wife and this man had 2 children with her and another with a different woman..They had planned this whole scenario, from the start to the end and how they would reunite in the USA and have me sponsor their children and then take the children away from me..

How he would create a scene so I get fed up and give him a quick divorce, and meanwhile he would be online finding his traditional wife a man to sponsor her into the USA. So they could be reunited...

Meanwhile, they have extorted me a $3,000.00 that I sent thinking I was helping children who parents had died in the past 2 years, and his traditional wife was playing the role of a friend of my husband who's caring heart took the children under her roof but needed financial assistance..all along they were their own children...this past August they have scammed me of $1,000.00 thinking I was providing an aprtment for the so called friend and children....They have ised the money for other pruposes....OUFFFFF!!

I have made a call to Immigration custom enforcement and reported this to my local police dept...Meanwhile my husband was harassing me and stalking me online...So he will be charge with stalking....

What else can I do, to make sure that our women of the United States be avoided such a heart broken, emotional,mental and financail situation...

I am sorry I am writing my own lived experience, some of you will not like that and others will think twice....If you have any suggestions please let me know, your comments are greatly apreciated...

Your sister

Mmebitote

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Thank you so much for coming to share your stories.

I have made several post about conman on this forum. Prior to my realization. Most of things I posted for woman to be aware of were things I know my husband was coached to do.

My favorite saying is....if you were in a messed up relationship before you met this man you are in a messed up relationship with your international lover. Unless you make significant changes in your life you will attract the same person.

Many woman think that the man would never do this and be ever most appreciative, but that is not the truth.

I am calling out all woman who have been lied to. Tell your story and stop just one woman from going through this.

I am very fortunate that this did not cost me any money until he arrived. But time is invaluable. I have wasted time. Mine and my sons. Just imagine.

He will pay for his sins. God despises a Liar and I will be vindicated and redeemed.

[Simply_Uno 1]

Good morning Ladies!

Mrs. J, you KNOW you are in my prayers Girl! Its time to shake the gates of heaven and petition all of this madness to stop! And sister MMEBITOTE, whewwww, you....man...ummm, just wow! At YOUR situation. I am more than sorry that you went through this/that. I am almost speechless, and that rarely ever happens to moi!

If any of you want to read my story to get familiar with me, then by all means, go for it {its somewhere on my profile..LOL}. But anyway, my biggest mantra is "learn and know what a cultural difference is!" That will save you from a bunch of heartache and you wont be making excuses for phuqed up behaviors in these foreign SO's!

I can NOT stress that enough. I stopped that a$$ of mine dead in his tracks, and left him over in his country.

I had warning signs, damn that; I had the proverbial "talking donkey" giving me warnings, rocks was crying out,

I had dreams as vivid as neon signs, I had my spirit double checking things he said/did that did not align with the bible {not to mention conventional wisdom}smacking me around.

I was like "heyyy now, gurrlll, God is twying tuh tellya sumfdin!"

And then I did a self explorative analysis {pride get aside}:

Why am I doing this, am I REALLY that desperate for a man {ahhh HELL NO!},

who am I trying to impress with a foreigner in MY boudoir,

and am I trying to make MYSELF see something that really isn't there???!!!

Well, as I stated, he is still in his country and I am here; BOOYAH big baby! Now run tell dat to da village folks!

I got married over "there" registered and all, and my divorce over HERE {being AMERICAN has its perks!!} and he does NOT have a copy of the divorce papers and he wont get them either!!

So if I my actions saved another American woman from going through this madness with his a$$, then my job is done. And all that he got from me, is all that he was going to get from me. Scamming has its benefits too, only if one allows them to; I did not!

To every woman going through this, if you have warning signs while he is over seas, ladies; all y'all better listen;

If he is having mood swings, lying, being coercive and begging, ask yo' self, why is he doing this and just know, that it will intensify once he gets here! They are thinkers, they have nothing but time on there hands to think up plans of deceit and manipulation. Be aware, be smart, be knowledgeable, be proactive and by all means, be true to yourselves. I ask you all again, "if you will not take/tolerate that ####### from an American d1kc, why would you take it from a foreign one?"

I'm out

UNO

p.s. did not mean to offend anyone, but if I did, did it make you think????

Edited November 16, 2009 by UNO...

[Enlighten one :) 5]

UNO you never offend me because i know you come from love.

Culture confused me because I was so cautious around it. Meaning caring and considerate that I did not want to confuse fraud with culture. I would have ended things sooner, if I was not not considerate and cautious to assign meaning to the confusion.

Two men in my son's 11 years of life. Never desperate to be with a man, if that the case I would have given up on this darn process and took someone closer. LOL I see how money motivated me. First it was the free trip to Africa. Then money to spend in Africa and money when I needed help. (money stopped once my husband was here) So i thought, i had nothing to loose, but I did loose something and gained something. Glad it all balanced out. But sadly its hard to look back at that African experience and see all the deceit and lies that went on around me. Now my vacation is gone. live and learn. I can only laugh at myself in a loving way.

[SweetBliss 0]

Ahhhhoooo

I love this Utube video, I had to laugh cause its so TRUE!!!!!