November 2009 K1 CSC Filers

[rionet 0]

Awww thanks everyone for your wishes and support.

We are in fact really happy when we are together but we dont do that well when we are apart. That's why we try seeing each other every 6 weeks or so. IT has to do with being apart and in that "vacation" mode but we are failing when it comes to the day-to-day interaction. Communication (or lack of it) has played a key part in this drama. I am a hopeless romantic, Dan deems himself a "simple man" which means, I expect him to do things for me without me asking, he expects me to tell him what to do to make me happy. I understand that we are both wrong. I know he can't read my mind and it wouldnt be fair for me to expect him to guess what I need and get it right every time. He shouldn't expect case-by-case instructions from me and even if I can provide them, he should be smart enough to adapt based on the circumstances.

Take Valentine's Day for example... when we started the K-1 I told him "dont spend money, we need to save as much as we can for the wedding, the visa fees and you moving here as debt free as possible". I spent about $20 on 2 books and a greeting card for him. He didn't get me anything. Why? Because "I told him not to spend money" :S Thanks to my romantic ideas I was expecting at least a card, or even a handwritten note. Because "he is a simple man", he was expecting me to tell him that it was ok to "override" my original instructions and spend a little bit on a greeting card.

I am more than willing to reach a happy medium. Put some of my romantic ideas aside and give him pointers as to what I expect from him without having to tell him what to do all the time. The problem is, he is too stubborn. He's fixated on the idea that, "he is who he is" and he's not willing to change or reach that happy medium. I don't think I can live with that. I don't want a puppet that I can control 24 /7. I don't want a robot I have to "program" with detailed instructions and it wont do anything more than what I tell him.

We are still a few months away from getting the package from the embassy so Im giving him the space and time to think about it. See if he stops being so stubborn and decides Im worth the effort. If not then we can just abandon the petition. We are not going to get married and make each other miserable, have him abandon his job and family just because the I-129F was approved. I think Im taking it better than I expected based on the fact that, it could have happened after we were married. That would have been worse than what Im going thru now.

Anyways, enough of sad stories. I'll still be watching this thread, crossing my fingers for you guys and giving ya'lls my support

Thamara I wish you all the best of luck and happiness...

Ančica, tomorrow is your day !!! I cannot imagine how you must feel. I' m sure you must be so excited. Glad to know you have tons of evidences. I wonder what forms you needed to send in ? ( DS 156K, DS 156, DS 230 ? ) There is no Packet 3 and 4 for Zagreb ? All you needed from your fiance was the form I 134 ( Evidence of support ) ? GOOD LUCK !!!

Rionet, you are back. How lovely to know you spent more time with your fiance. I' m sure you' ll have a visa in your passport soon as I see Manila embassy is so easy to handle.

Oh ! What about us ? When are we getting our approval ? It seems this is taking forever and more !

AR and MD, it will be coming soon. Did you get any touch again?

[Lindsey8181 1]

Hi...yes tomorrow and I am so excited. I sent DS-156, DS-156K and DS-230. I checked on the webside and found what I need for my interview, called the embassy and they said that I can fax the forms and the copies of my passport. I sent by mail 2 photos and that was everything. I did not received packets.

David sent me I-134 and the letter of intent and a lot of other things for the proof of our relationship.

Thanks for good luck! I hope that tomorrow after the interview I will start to relax and feel relief.

Hi hi!!! Ivan and I wanted to wish you the best of luck. We are both praying for you and your fiance and that you will walk out of the embassy with a visa in your hand! I am so excited, you would think I'm the one going in for the interivew...hehehe!! I can't wait to hear the good news and am very interested to hear what questions they ask, the types of evidence, etc. you brought. Hopefully, Ivan will get his interview in the next 2-3 weeks. I've decided I'm going to come to Croatia for his interview. If you're still around, we should meet up for that kava! Good luck, my friend!!!

Edited February 25, 2010 by Lindsey8181

[a loves a 0]

Awww thanks everyone for your wishes and support.

Take Valentine's Day for example... when we started the K-1 I told him "dont spend money, we need to save as much as we can for the wedding, the visa fees and you moving here as debt free as possible". I spent about $20 on 2 books and a greeting card for him. He didn't get me anything. Why? Because "I told him not to spend money" :S Thanks to my romantic ideas I was expecting at least a card, or even a handwritten note. Because "he is a simple man", he was expecting me to tell him that it was ok to "override" my original instructions and spend a little bit on a greeting card.

hey , im really sad for what happend to you

but can i say something please :

according to my expersince with my american fiancee , its hard for both of us to understand the coustemes and how people deal in diff suitations , you know some stuff is very important to you but not important for him cuse you and him from diff calture and the oppesite >

all you need to do stop pushing him and dont tell him what to do and let him to be his self >

also another thing to do rember if you cancel the case you will need to wait two years to make a new application , any way thats my perisonal oppanion

[that_girl 9]

Awww thanks everyone for your wishes and support.

We are in fact really happy when we are together but we dont do that well when we are apart. That's why we try seeing each other every 6 weeks or so. IT has to do with being apart and in that "vacation" mode but we are failing when it comes to the day-to-day interaction. Communication (or lack of it) has played a key part in this drama. I am a hopeless romantic, Dan deems himself a "simple man" which means, I expect him to do things for me without me asking, he expects me to tell him what to do to make me happy. I understand that we are both wrong. I know he can't read my mind and it wouldnt be fair for me to expect him to guess what I need and get it right every time. He shouldn't expect case-by-case instructions from me and even if I can provide them, he should be smart enough to adapt based on the circumstances.

Take Valentine's Day for example... when we started the K-1 I told him "dont spend money, we need to save as much as we can for the wedding, the visa fees and you moving here as debt free as possible". I spent about $20 on 2 books and a greeting card for him. He didn't get me anything. Why? Because "I told him not to spend money" :S Thanks to my romantic ideas I was expecting at least a card, or even a handwritten note. Because "he is a simple man", he was expecting me to tell him that it was ok to "override" my original instructions and spend a little bit on a greeting card.

I am more than willing to reach a happy medium. Put some of my romantic ideas aside and give him pointers as to what I expect from him without having to tell him what to do all the time. The problem is, he is too stubborn. He's fixated on the idea that, "he is who he is" and he's not willing to change or reach that happy medium. I don't think I can live with that. I don't want a puppet that I can control 24 /7. I don't want a robot I have to "program" with detailed instructions and it wont do anything more than what I tell him.

We are still a few months away from getting the package from the embassy so Im giving him the space and time to think about it. See if he stops being so stubborn and decides Im worth the effort. If not then we can just abandon the petition. We are not going to get married and make each other miserable, have him abandon his job and family just because the I-129F was approved. I think Im taking it better than I expected based on the fact that, it could have happened after we were married. That would have been worse than what Im going thru now.

Anyways, enough of sad stories. I'll still be watching this thread, crossing my fingers for you guys and giving ya'lls my support

Obviously, I don't know all the ins and outs of your relationship, but what I can tell you:

My fiance is very much like that as well. Not at all sweet unless I explicitly ask him to be, and even then I would have to tell him "Hey, it would make me feel really loved if you did [X] for me." He's just not wired to think like that. But once in a blue moon, he'll surprise me with something nice.

It's really hard now, when we're apart, and I spend so much of my time being sad. I need extra support, and because, like your fiance, he's a "simple man" it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for him. Plus, when I'm being sad and not particularly rational, I think I take what seems like a lack of interest on his part especially personally.

But here's what I try to tell myself when things get extra hard:

This is one of the hardest things we'll ever have to go through together. When we're in the same place, things go a lot easier for us (heck, we spent two solid months, 24 hours a day together living out of a freakin' car and that was ten times easier than these 5 months apart have been!) I can't change the way he acts, but I can slowly teach myself to accept the way that he expresses his love, even if it's not always the way I want to receive it. I can rely more on my friends to make me feel special in the way I want to (I recently moved, so they live far away, but even just a phone call or a letter from a friend who you know can cheer you up is helpful). There's always a community around a marriage; you can't get everything you need from one person alone. I find shifting some of the emotional support I need to my friends has helped me a lot.

I really hope the best for you - it's hard. If/when things are repaired and you're together, it will be so much easier. Keep your eyes on the prize, good luck, and all the hugs and support in the world from your VJ compatriots!

[AandD 20]

Hi hi!!! Ivan and I wanted to wish you the best of luck. We are both praying for you and your fiance and that you will walk out of the embassy with a visa in your hand! I am so excited, you would think I'm the one going in for the interivew...hehehe!! I can't wait to hear the good news and am very interested to hear what questions they ask, the types of evidence, etc. you brought. Hopefully, Ivan will get his interview in the next 2-3 weeks. I've decided I'm going to come to Croatia for his interview. If you're still around, we should meet up for that kava! Good luck, my friend!!!

Hi Lindsey...as you can see I am approved!!!

Everything was great and I have to take my visa on Monday or Tuesday. First I gave my forms, my documents, David's I-134 and the proof from the bank that I paid for visa. Then they took my fingerprints and I waited for 10 min. for the interview with the consul. He asked me a lot about David, me, our relationship and he did not ask for the evidence of the relationship.

We talked about 15-20 min. He asked if I want to talk with him on Croatin or English and I said that for me is fine to talk on both languages. Then he started with Engglish and we had the whole interview on English.

At the end he said: Welcome to the US. He wished me the best and said that he hopes how I will enjoy to live in the US.

I was in the embassy around 1 hour.

Wish all the best to you and Ivan. If I can help him to prepare everything for the interview just let me know.

I am in Croatia till April 20 or 21 and we can go on kava. David should come on April 16 or 17.

[Thamara 0]

Hi Lindsey...as you can see I am approved!!!

Everything was great and I have to take my visa on Monday or Tuesday. First I gave my forms, my documents, David's I-134 and the proof from the bank that I paid for visa. Then they took my fingerprints and I waited for 10 min. for the interview with the consul. He asked me a lot about David, me, our relationship and he did not ask for the evidence of the relationship.

We talked about 15-20 min. He asked if I want to talk with him on Croatin or English and I said that for me is fine to talk on both languages. Then he started with Engglish and we had the whole interview on English.

At the end he said: Welcome to the US. He wished me the best and said that he hopes how I will enjoy to live in the US.

I was in the embassy around 1 hour.

Wish all the best to you and Ivan. If I can help him to prepare everything for the interview just let me know.

I am in Croatia till April 20 or 21 and we can go on kava. David should come on April 16 or 17.

OMG! Grats!!!!!! Im so happy for you!!

[Lindsey8181 1]

Hi Lindsey...as you can see I am approved!!!

Everything was great and I have to take my visa on Monday or Tuesday. First I gave my forms, my documents, David's I-134 and the proof from the bank that I paid for visa. Then they took my fingerprints and I waited for 10 min. for the interview with the consul. He asked me a lot about David, me, our relationship and he did not ask for the evidence of the relationship.

We talked about 15-20 min. He asked if I want to talk with him on Croatin or English and I said that for me is fine to talk on both languages. Then he started with Engglish and we had the whole interview on English.

At the end he said: Welcome to the US. He wished me the best and said that he hopes how I will enjoy to live in the US.

I was in the embassy around 1 hour.

Wish all the best to you and Ivan. If I can help him to prepare everything for the interview just let me know.

I am in Croatia till April 20 or 21 and we can go on kava. David should come on April 16 or 17.

OMG!!! CESTIKAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm soooo happy for you!!! I couldn't sleep the whole night! hahahahha!!! Everything sounds great!!!

So, you are picking up the visa on Monday/Tuesday? I thought they issue it there on the same day??

I will send you a separate email with Ivan's contact info. He would love to talk to you. And, yes - kavaa!!!

So happy for you both!! Pozdrav!!!

[Thamara 0]

hey , im really sad for what happend to you

but can i say something please :

according to my expersince with my american fiancee , its hard for both of us to understand the coustemes and how people deal in diff suitations , you know some stuff is very important to you but not important for him cuse you and him from diff calture and the oppesite >

all you need to do stop pushing him and dont tell him what to do and let him to be his self >

also another thing to do rember if you cancel the case you will need to wait two years to make a new application , any way thats my perisonal oppanion

Relationships are hard even when you are from the same country. Cultural differences only add one more dimension to the deal.

I didnt post what happened to be judged or cruxified. We've been supporting each other since November, posting our worries, concerns and successes so when people asked about what happened I only thought fair to give them an explanation.

Maybe something got lost in translation because, I am not pushing him. I am not telling him what to do, I am letting him be himself and that's the problem. He wants me to tell him what to do every time, all the time. Like I said, I can give him overall instructions and pointers but can you imagine having to say things like "I want you to throw me a surprise birthday party". Sounds ridiculous but it actually came up during our argument and believe it or not, that's exactly what he expects :S

I dont care if I have to wait 2 , 4 or 10 years to apply again. Getting married because we are this far into the process is not the right reason to do it. I want to get married because we are right for each other. However, I am not going to cancel the application, if we dont make up then he can just ignore the Embassy letters and they will eventually consider the application as "abandoned". He is the one who doesn't want me back. I am more than willing to make the relationship work. He isnt.

@ that_girl : Thanks for your post. I think it's one of the smartest, most logical and rational things I've heard in a long time. I do have to learn to appreciate the way he shows he loves me. I hope he gives me the chance.

[AandD 20]

OMG! Grats!!!!!! Im so happy for you!!

Thanks Thamara!!!

[AandD 20]

OMG!!! CESTIKAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm soooo happy for you!!! I couldn't sleep the whole night! hahahahha!!! Everything sounds great!!!

So, you are picking up the visa on Monday/Tuesday? I thought they issue it there on the same day??

I will send you a separate email with Ivan's contact info. He would love to talk to you. And, yes - kavaa!!!

So happy for you both!! Pozdrav!!!

Yes...I am picking up the visa on Monday or Tuesday. They will call me to come. I picked up my B1/B2 visa for the Christmas visit to David also a day later.

The are not issuing the visa on the same day and tomorrow is Friday...so...

Just send me Ivan's contact info and I will help him to be prepared with the papers and everything for the interview.

[A + M 29]

Relationships are hard even when you are from the same country. Cultural differences only add one more dimension to the deal.

I didnt post what happened to be judged or cruxified. We've been supporting each other since November, posting our worries, concerns and successes so when people asked about what happened I only thought fair to give them an explanation.

Maybe something got lost in translation because, I am not pushing him. I am not telling him what to do, I am letting him be himself and that's the problem. He wants me to tell him what to do every time, all the time. Like I said, I can give him overall instructions and pointers but can you imagine having to say things like "I want you to throw me a surprise birthday party". Sounds ridiculous but it actually came up during our argument and believe it or not, that's exactly what he expects :S

I dont care if I have to wait 2 , 4 or 10 years to apply again. Getting married because we are this far into the process is not the right reason to do it. I want to get married because we are right for each other. However, I am not going to cancel the application, if we dont make up then he can just ignore the Embassy letters and they will eventually consider the application as "abandoned". He is the one who doesn't want me back. I am more than willing to make the relationship work. He isnt.

@ that_girl : Thanks for your post. I think it's one of the smartest, most logical and rational things I've heard in a long time. I do have to learn to appreciate the way he shows he loves me. I hope he gives me the chance.

Thamara ! I' m truly sorry to hear what is happening in your relationship. All / most relationships ( friendships and all other kinds ) aren' t easy to handle. Every relationship as every family has it' s own problems, it' s ups and downs and not one it' s perfect. I' m not here to give you advices of any kind because I can clearly see you are a smart and intelligent woman exactly knowing what you want in your life and from your man.

Adding to a " normal " relationship between a man and a woman the distance lasting sometimes months and on top of it this whole visa process ( which isn' t at simple as it seems to some ) I' m not surprised people argue and discuss. We are all human beings. We are all in love. We are all one step from our big day. This step sometimes doesn' t seem to end.

You mentioned you two are doing pretty well while you are together and issues starts ( normally ) while you are apart again ( and this is the reason why you visit one another every 6 weeks or so ) . I think you said something very smart. You wanna keep going and see where life is gonna bring you. You don' t wanna call and cancel anything. When the time for the interview comes you two are gonna put the cards on the table. Give him some space and time. Let him know you are still there. Hopefully, you two are gonna find a way. There is always a way !

Congratulations Croatia ! Now, your story started to be exciting for real. Say hello to the cats and get a one way ticket !

[A + M 29]

Thamara I wish you all the best of luck and happiness...

AR and MD, it will be coming soon. Did you get any touch again?

You have an interview date already ! Congratulations !

[AandD 20]

Thamara ! I' m truly sorry to hear what is happening in your relationship. All / most relationships ( friendships and all other kinds ) aren' t easy to handle. Every relationship as every family has it' s own problems, it' s ups and downs and not one it' s perfect. I' m not here to give you advices of any kind because I can clearly see you are a smart and intelligent woman exactly knowing what you want in your life and from your man.

Adding to a " normal " relationship between a man and a woman the distance lasting sometimes months and on top of it this whole visa process ( which isn' t at simple as it seems to some ) I' m not surprised people argue and discuss. We are all human beings. We are all in love. We are all one step from our big day. This step sometimes doesn' t seem to end.

You mentioned you two are doing pretty well while you are together and issues starts ( normally ) while you are apart again ( and this is the reason why you visit one another every 6 weeks or so ) . I think you said something very smart. You wanna keep going and see where life is gonna bring you. You don' t wanna call and cancel anything. When the time for the interview comes you two are gonna put the cards on the table. Give him some space and time. Let him know you are still there. Hopefully, you two are gonna find a way. There is always a way !

Congratulations Croatia ! Now, your story started to be exciting for real. Say hello to the cats and get a one way ticket !

Actually it will be two ways ticket cause it is cheaper. I spoke with a friend of my brother and she will arrange the plain tickets for us and for the cats.

[KH2010 0]

Are there still November filers out there who have not received their NOA 2? We received out NOA 1 on 11.12.09. Since then, there has been radio silence. No touches, no news-nothing. Still just reads "initial review". Should I be worried? Are there others in the same situation still?

[~Johnny~ 27]

Are there still November filers out there who have not received their NOA 2? We received out NOA 1 on 11.12.09. Since then, there has been radio silence. No touches, no news-nothing. Still just reads "initial review". Should I be worried? Are there others in the same situation still?

Don't you just hate that little blue "initial review" Button?? How about a meter or something to show some movement?

Edited February 25, 2010 by duplantisjj