Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

[brownnskinn 0]

Hello All!!!

Congratz Elizabeth and Nanny!!!! I am sooo happy for you!!

Also....very happy to see that Kelly and Craig have a date set......I am really excited for you both!!!

I think Elizabeth is correct....we are filing the AOS next week. We have all the paperwork ready but the damn vaccination supplement is slowing us down.........

Things have been crazy over in this "neck of the woods"...I was reading and catching up and saw the little conversation about Jax wanting to get pregnant......I kept shaking my head and praying that she will wait......Not because I don't think this is your choice but because of what me and Duane are going through over here. Don't get me wrong...our relationship is great but the homesickness and lifestyle adjustment is HARD!!!!

Streets are not familar, food is not familiar, friends are far away, no family support system (except me), no work, no kids, can't go out freely........all these things have been taken from our husbands when they arrive in the States and it takes TIME to adjust. I think the added stress of starting a family would be absolutely horrible on our relationship at this point. We need to get him grounded and familiar before we start thinking about expanding our family.....It is hard.......they are completely your responsibility until they get some grounding and it is VERY hard to sit and watch your loved one cry because they miss Jamaica and their family. So......that is kinda why I have been distant the last few days and I KNOW all of you have gone through this before me so you can relate.........just hold us in your prayers because my "Boo" is hurting and it is very hard to sit back and watch.........

Good morning family.

The adjustment part is very HARD. Every couple relationship and situations are different. I honestly couldn't imagine my husband leaving his children behind in JA...I can't help but to think about those children...

Damien have been here almost two years and we are still adjusting...mainly to each other. Luckily he doesn't have a problem with homesickness but we still have issues. Last weekend I felt like "What the hell did I get myself into??" then we talked everything out for two days. It goes both ways - my life haven't been the same since I filed the K-1 application two years ago. Still I have no regrets........would do it all over again in a heartbeat. But it takes lots of praying and patience. I'll keep you and Duane in my prayers .

Hello everyone. We spent Labor day Laboring up love I truly love my husband. I am so blessed.

I Agree the adjustment can be quite difficult. David, I feel as done quite well. He wasn't really close to his family at home. Now he just becomes really depressed because everyone needs help at home. And although his family were never there for him, he feels obligated to help them because they "need" it he states. He feels that he should be in a position to help them and he's not. He thought out not even telling them when he comes down, hopefully some time soon, because he won't have money/gifts for everyone. :unsure:We watch "When the levies broke"..about the Katrena Victims in New Orleans. It was so heart breaking, what these people had to go through, how our government just let this happen. It must have brought out some heart ache, maybe some past suffering my hubby had to endure, cause all he kept talking about was is granny, how she waited until he and three and of his other cousin were safe before she died . So even though this adj thing... SUCKS!!!. My love is grateful for the opportunity to possible make a better life for himself, and if you let him tell it, his whole family

Have a great Weekend

Edited September 8, 2006 by Denden

[Ms Squitto 0]

good evening everyone....

well another day of hell...counting down the days till i am gone!!!

michelle i am so glad to hear your man is doing better!!! when is going to come to the states???

Sorry to hear about your day. Lately my days at work have been like that too.

Well Shauna, I've been battling some of my own issues (within myself) which is not fair to Tristan or my true feelings, but I just have to bust down those issues and do the damned thing. Some here know what my issue is and have been very supportive and encouraging and I want to let them know that I am moving forward instead of being paralyzed with fear. So I want to give a special thanks to Shemanya, Dru, Mindy, Kelly and especially Lee (who is AWOL) and others who have at times basically held my hand at different times throughout. Everyone here has been encouraging and have enlightened me on many things-especially the cultural differences-which I mistakenly thought I was up on. So anyway to make a long story short (it is Friday afterall B) ) I will be filing very, very soon.

Kim I know that just about everyone here said that their spouse had a hard time adjusting at first but eventually adapted. When I left my hometown I moved about 20 miles away and I was severely homesick . I finally moved back to the area. So I can't even imagine the pain and culture shock of missing family and especially if they left children behind; for anyone who has made such a move as Duane and other hubbies have made. I'm sure that the newness wears off quick and reality sets in even quicker. Hang in there.

Good morning and happy Friday B)

Congrats on making your decision to file. I think it's great that you took the time and thought it out. This is not the type of thing to dive in head first with. You really need to sit and decide whether or not it's right for you. I pray that everything works out for you and Tristan

Hello All!!!

Congratz Elizabeth and Nanny!!!! I am sooo happy for you!!

Also....very happy to see that Kelly and Craig have a date set......I am really excited for you both!!!

I think Elizabeth is correct....we are filing the AOS next week. We have all the paperwork ready but the damn vaccination supplement is slowing us down.........

Things have been crazy over in this "neck of the woods"...I was reading and catching up and saw the little conversation about Jax wanting to get pregnant......I kept shaking my head and praying that she will wait......Not because I don't think this is your choice but because of what me and Duane are going through over here. Don't get me wrong...our relationship is great but the homesickness and lifestyle adjustment is HARD!!!!

Streets are not familar, food is not familiar, friends are far away, no family support system (except me), no work, no kids, can't go out freely........all these things have been taken from our husbands when they arrive in the States and it takes TIME to adjust. I think the added stress of starting a family would be absolutely horrible on our relationship at this point. We need to get him grounded and familiar before we start thinking about expanding our family.....It is hard.......they are completely your responsibility until they get some grounding and it is VERY hard to sit and watch your loved one cry because they miss Jamaica and their family. So......that is kinda why I have been distant the last few days and I KNOW all of you have gone through this before me so you can relate.........just hold us in your prayers because my "Boo" is hurting and it is very hard to sit back and watch.........

Good morning family.

The adjustment part is very HARD. Every couple relationship and situations are different. I honestly couldn't imagine my husband leaving his children behind in JA...I can't help but to think about those children...

Damien have been here almost two years and we are still adjusting...mainly to each other. Luckily he doesn't have a problem with homesickness but we still have issues. Last weekend I felt like "What the hell did I get myself into??" then we talked everything out for two days. It goes both ways - my life haven't been the same since I filed the K-1 application two years ago. Still I have no regrets........would do it all over again in a heartbeat. But it takes lots of praying and patience. I'll keep you and Duane in my prayers .

My husband's been here for 9 months and every day is an adjustment. I'm sure two years from now we'll still be adjusting to new things. These circumstances (moving, immigration, cultural difference, marriage, etc.) all going on at one can be very overwhelming. Like Sjb1221 said, it takes a lot of PRAYER and PATIENCE to get you through. Regular relationships aren't easy, so ours are EXTREMELY difficult for the reasons i mentioned above...If I could do over, I would..because everything we go through makes our relationship that much stronger...

[BelwinMills 0]

good evening everyone....

well another day of hell...counting down the days till i am gone!!!

michelle i am so glad to hear your man is doing better!!! when is going to come to the states???

Sorry to hear about your day. Lately my days at work have been like that too.

Well Shauna, I've been battling some of my own issues (within myself) which is not fair to Tristan or my true feelings, but I just have to bust down those issues and do the damned thing. Some here know what my issue is and have been very supportive and encouraging and I want to let them know that I am moving forward instead of being paralyzed with fear. So I want to give a special thanks to Shemanya, Dru, Mindy, Kelly and especially Lee (who is AWOL) and others who have at times basically held my hand at different times throughout. Everyone here has been encouraging and have enlightened me on many things-especially the cultural differences-which I mistakenly thought I was up on. So anyway to make a long story short (it is Friday afterall B) ) I will be filing very, very soon.

Kim I know that just about everyone here said that their spouse had a hard time adjusting at first but eventually adapted. When I left my hometown I moved about 20 miles away and I was severely homesick . I finally moved back to the area. So I can't even imagine the pain and culture shock of missing family and especially if they left children behind; for anyone who has made such a move as Duane and other hubbies have made. I'm sure that the newness wears off quick and reality sets in even quicker. Hang in there.

Good morning and happy Friday B)

Michele that is wonderful that you have decided to file soon. I waited a long time to and I wouldn't change that for the world. I am glad you are feeling more comfortable on your decsion.

Jax

[kimlbs 0]

Hello-

Thanks for all the support.....I agree with everyone.....if we had to do it all over again, I would definately do it a million times over......he is my "Best Friend" and I love him to death. Plus, I have never had someone love me the way he does so all of this stress is worth it. However, the adjustment is hard no matter what anyone says. He is keeping busy and going to school so that does help a lot. He has good and bad days but the kids are a constant heartache for him. He knows in his heart that he made the right decision because he knows that we will have the kids come stay with us soon and getting married was a dream come true for both of us. But......the adjustment is hard for everyone. It takes a lot of patience to "teach" someone EVERYTHING all over again. Sometimes, it is hard to stay patient because it can be exhausting for me at times.

No matter what, I am glad that he is here and I am glad that our love is strong enough to endure these challenges. I was lucky to have a few of you let me know what to expect before he got here and that has really helped keep me grounded. Otherwise, it would have been a very shocking and hard transition if I thought it was going to be easy....so Thanks Again to all of you because I think we can learn sooo much from each other if we are willing to keep an open mind.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!! We are going to chill and take care of each other.....

[BelwinMills 0]

My hubby I know is going to get homesick but we are planing a trip to go back if the K-3 is approved first so we can have the interview for the CR-1 and be done for 2 years. We are planning visiting JA every year and stay with his mom. She is excited that we want a child soon.

I think my hubby has more friends in IL than I do . They all want to take him out and I say all meaning about 50 some people or more. I am sure it will be hard to adjust no doubt about that. Dwain doesn't come from a very big family and his sister and bro live in NY. The only family member he leaves behind is mom. We already have a plan enroll in GED class, some community college course (cause u do not need a GED for all courses), join the college soccer team, take up right bass lessons (total new to him), trumpet lessons and play in the Monday night Elmhurst College Band. When he gets here I think the end of May I will just be finishing work and all his friends will be getting out of school and have free time to hang with him. He has a JA drivers licence which is good for one year here. We will have one car but we also have a wonderful college bus system in town. Plus he can walk to anything Kohls, Best Buy, Walmart, and so on are just across the street from our house. We have talked about the adjustment for years and how different it will be. We have prepared ourselves as best we know how. Trust me I had to take care of 5 Jamaican guys at once studying at Elmhurst and that was hard. If I can survive 5 for one month I think I can mange this journey. Oh yes and 3 of them lived with me in a triple room with three other roomates talk about crazy. The 6 hours we spent at Walmart with amazement in its self.

From all of you though over the past 9 months I have learned a lot on how to prepare and thank you for all your support and suggestions. I love learning and everyone on yardies has taught me something

My mom just called me and told me to prepare myself for another death in the family it could be months or a year. I am in shock and sad this will be the second uncle I have lost this year. My uncle just found out he has lung cancer. There is nothing they can do and the longest they give him is a month to live. I love this uncle to death he helped me with everything. I mean since I am a gal who lives alone with my own house he would fix the things inside that were wrong. I am deeply sadden that he has only a few more months to live. He use to smoke years ago and quit 20 years ago and still got lung cancer. So I am preparing myself. I have to start cleaning my Aunt and Uncles house cause they are pack rats and no one can go into the house to see my Uncle the way it looks so I have a serious big job ahead. Truly sadden ... Please keep us in your prayers.

One Luv

Jax

[kimlbs 0]

Sorry to hear of your news Jax......I will keep you in my prayers....also sounds like you have thought alot about the adjustment and I am sure everything will be great......

I am filling out the I-485 form. I have a quick question and hope you can help.....sorry if it sounds dumb.....

The form asks for a "A #"........his passport number starts with A...is this what they are talking about?????Also.......it asks for current USCIS status???? We just got married but what is our status??? Also......it asks for I-94 number...is this the number pre-printed on the I-94 in his passport or the number hand written on the back on the I-94??? Also..the form asks for USCIS status expiration date....okay...I am lost.....HELP!!!!

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Sorry to hear about your uncle Jax , your family is in my thoughts.

Here's an interesting link that I found regarding dual citizenship: Dual Citizenship-Jamaica

Edited September 9, 2006 by Jamaica to CT

[Jamaicagyaldat 1]

Alright everyone. We went to our InfoPass appt. We had an amazingly wonderful and very nice Immigration official. She joked with us and was for real! Well it seems that there is no reason that they never resent our letter. She said she saw all the calls that I made and no one did their job. So she was making sure it was all expedited. She also said that we will receive all letters at the same time. she said work permit etc is all in order! So this was a huge relief, but I wanted to just flip when I found out that those agents on the phone just didnt feel like doing their job!!! Anyway, this is good news. So hopefully they will come next week.

Now new question for you all:

I have a friend who is married to a US citizen here. They did the K3 Marriage Visa originally. Now he has been in the US for 1 year. His US citizen wife is a controlling witch from hellllllllllllllllllllll. He is terribly unhappy and I feel so bad for him. She never lets him go anywhere, takes his pay checks etc. I mean the man has been here for 1 year and never been out to a club, social gathering etc....not once!!!!!!!!! I am not very familiar with the K3 visa so I have some questions. ANYWAY....

Can he get a divorce without being sent back to Jamaica on a K3 visa. Again, he has been here in the US for 1 year. Does he have to wait for anything? I know under a K1 visa he would have to go back, since it hasn't been the 3 years until permanent residency, but not sure about K3. Any advice? Or any suggestions? What should I tell him to look for on his papers to determine if he is okay???

Edited September 9, 2006 by Jamaicagyaldat

[phatmadame81 0]

Alright everyone. We went to our InfoPass appt. We had an amazingly wonderful and very nice Immigration official. She joked with us and was for real! Well it seems that there is no reason that they never resent our letter. She said she saw all the calls that I made and no one did their job. So she was making sure it was all expedited. She also said that we will receive all letters at the same time. she said work permit etc is all in order! So this was a huge relief, but I wanted to just flip when I found out that those agents on the phone just didnt feel like doing their job!!! Anyway, this is good news. So hopefully they will come next week.

Now new question for you all:

I have a friend who is married to a US citizen here. They did the K3 Marriage Visa originally. Now he has been in the US for 1 year. His US citizen wife is a controlling witch from hellllllllllllllllllllll. He is terribly unhappy and I feel so bad for him. She never lets him go anywhere, takes his pay checks etc. I mean the man has been here for 1 year and never been out to a club, social gathering etc....not once!!!!!!!!! I am not very familiar with the K3 visa so I have some questions. ANYWAY....

Can he get a divorce without being sent back to Jamaica on a K3 visa. Again, he has been here in the US for 1 year. Does he have to wait for anything? I know under a K1 visa he would have to go back, since it hasn't been the 3 years until permanent residency, but not sure about K3. Any advice? Or any suggestions? What should I tell him to look for on his papers to determine if he is okay???

Did they already file for AOS ??

Jax- I will keep you and your family in my prayers

[rhondapayter 0]

the homesickness and lifestyle adjustment is HARD!!!!

Streets are not familar, food is not familiar, friends are far away, no family support system (except me), no work, no kids, can't go out freely........all these things have been taken from our husbands when they arrive in the States and it takes TIME to adjust. I think the added stress of starting a family would be absolutely horrible on our relationship at this point. We need to get him grounded and familiar before we start thinking about expanding our family.....It is hard.......they are completely your responsibility until they get some grounding and it is VERY hard to sit and watch your loved one cry because they miss Jamaica and their family. So......that is kinda why I have been distant the last few days and I KNOW all of you have gone through this before me so you can relate.........

Kim, I feel for you. We have all been through this exact thing. You think you know what to expect, but until he actually gets here, you really have no clue. There is no easy way to get through it - it just takes time and patience with each other. The first year of our marriage was so difficult we almost gave up on more than one occasion Just hang in there - it will get better.

But yes, he is going to be completely reliant on you for awhile for EVERYTHING. It's like having a child. If they need to go somewhere you have to drive them, if they want to buy something you have to buy it, etc.. I know I would have a terrible time if the situation were reversed and I had to move to a foreign country so I try to keep that in mind whenever I get frustrated. Also, talking to people who have been through it (like our VJ family) helps a LOT At least your honey has his painting to help occupy him. I think the worst thing for Tony was having no job, no car, nowhere to go, and nothing to do. And no one but ME to talk to or hang out with It doesn't take long for them to get bored and frustrated.

If you need to vent, go for it. PM me if you want.

I'm sure that the newness wears off quick and reality sets in even quicker. Hang in there.

Very well said and oh SO true

[BelwinMills 0]

Well some good news my hubby just called and said he is pretty sure he has the gig with Mr. Vegas and should be flying out of the country soon. I sure hope this dream comes true for him. So I am thinking I should just go the CR1 route because of his touring time. I am just praying he isn't touring over the time I planned to visit because my plane ticket is already bought. We will see so very soon on this one.

ahahah

[rhondapayter 0]

My uncle just found out he has lung cancer.

I'm so sorry to hear this bad news My thoughts are with you. I lost both my grandparents last summer within 7 weeks of each other - I know how difficult this can be.

[kimlbs 0]

Thanks Rhonda- Check your PM.........

[Jamaicagyaldat 1]

Alright everyone. We went to our InfoPass appt. We had an amazingly wonderful and very nice Immigration official. She joked with us and was for real! Well it seems that there is no reason that they never resent our letter. She said she saw all the calls that I made and no one did their job. So she was making sure it was all expedited. She also said that we will receive all letters at the same time. she said work permit etc is all in order! So this was a huge relief, but I wanted to just flip when I found out that those agents on the phone just didnt feel like doing their job!!! Anyway, this is good news. So hopefully they will come next week.

Now new question for you all:

I have a friend who is married to a US citizen here. They did the K3 Marriage Visa originally. Now he has been in the US for 1 year. His US citizen wife is a controlling witch from hellllllllllllllllllllll. He is terribly unhappy and I feel so bad for him. She never lets him go anywhere, takes his pay checks etc. I mean the man has been here for 1 year and never been out to a club, social gathering etc....not once!!!!!!!!! I am not very familiar with the K3 visa so I have some questions. ANYWAY....

Can he get a divorce without being sent back to Jamaica on a K3 visa. Again, he has been here in the US for 1 year. Does he have to wait for anything? I know under a K1 visa he would have to go back, since it hasn't been the 3 years until permanent residency, but not sure about K3. Any advice? Or any suggestions? What should I tell him to look for on his papers to determine if he is okay???

Did they already file for AOS ??

Jax- I will keep you and your family in my prayers

Yes they did

[Shemmy 4]

Happy Saturday!!!

Jax - sorry to hear about your uncle. And congrats to hubby w/Mr. Vegas gig

I went to the gym this morning and decided to do something new...take a bellydancing class. Well, the instructor is Caribbean so she combined bellydancing with dancehall and soca dancing. We even did the dutty whine It was so much fun...hard work. Gotta go pratice my new moves......

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

Edited September 9, 2006 by sjb1221