Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

[kimlbs 0]

HI Guys

I have been living in hell. I made the biggest mistake of my life, i have created my own hell. For those who remember me, I need your help, please. I'm so stressed out and don't know what else to do. Craig's been here for 8months now and i have tried to make it work, he has changed too much, this is not the man I married. I asked him to do one thing (ask for a temp work stamp) he came here telling me he forgot. I stopped going to school to support him. He is lazy and the most important think to him is music video. If I past out in the room he wouldn't even notice. I don't want to be mean and send him back but I'm very sick and I cant do this any more. I'm very unhappy and I suffer from Bi-polar dissorder that makes me upset all the time. What can I do. I need some input. Thanks

P.S. Tell me if this is a man that cares: He came in one day crying on the floor walk over me pick his clothes up and left with his friends for the park. He never even called to see if I was ok. I know Jamaican men are laid back but please be honest.

Hi Tawana-

I am not sure I remember you but I am one of the newer members of this thread myself. However, I would like to try to help you.....well...like Elizabeth said.....you need some support closer than this thread. Try to call one of the local family service agencies to get some counseling. Just talking with someone can help the depression. Also...if you have not applied for the EAD/Greencard than you should explore that. If your husband is not willing to work and not showing you any affection/attention than you need to take steps to end the relationship. It is unhealthy for you especially considering your bi-polar condition. I think all of us signed on to support of fiancees/husbands for a brief period until they were able to pursue jobs on their own and help out. If you husband feels that this is a "free ride" than maybe you need to talk with him about your expectations and let him know how unhappy you are. If he is unwilling to listen or participate in this relationship than I think he has given you all the answers you need and you need to begin steps to take care of yourself. First though....go see someone for support and try to be strong....all of us are here for you if you need to talk!!!

Hope things get better!!!

[Jamaica to CT 0]

HI Guys

I have been living in hell. I made the biggest mistake of my life, i have created my own hell. For those who remember me, I need your help, please. I'm so stressed out and don't know what else to do. Craig's been here for 8months now and i have tried to make it work, he has changed too much, this is not the man I married. I asked him to do one thing (ask for a temp work stamp) he came here telling me he forgot. I stopped going to school to support him. He is lazy and the most important think to him is music video. If I past out in the room he wouldn't even notice. I don't want to be mean and send him back but I'm very sick and I cant do this any more. I'm very unhappy and I suffer from Bi-polar dissorder that makes me upset all the time. What can I do. I need some input. Thanks

P.S. Tell me if this is a man that cares: He came in one day crying on the floor walk over me pick his clothes up and left with his friends for the park. He never even called to see if I was ok. I know Jamaican men are laid back but please be honest.

Hi Tawana-

If you husband feels that this is a "free ride" than maybe you need to talk with him about your expectations and let him know how unhappy you are. If he is unwilling to listen or participate in this relationship than I think he has given you all the answers you need and you need to begin steps to take care of yourself. First though....go see someone for support and try to be strong....all of us are here for you if you need to talk!!!

Hope things get better!!!

Hi Tawana,

Kim and Elizabeth have given you excellent advice. So here goes...

In my opinion an abled bodied man who is unwilling to work or who is underemployed (works p.t. by choice or can't keep a job) and who does not support his family in all aspects (including emotionally) needs to HIT THE ROAD. I realize that some men are stay at home dads or are going to school or persuing a college degree and if that works for the family and is agreeable to all, then by all means.... But when the family is stuggling to make ends meet or the wife has to work two jobs or more, I'm sorry I don't agree with that. Of course I know that at times due to layoffs, illness, this immigration process and such that we may have to work while our husbands are at home; but what I'm talking about is willfull non-support.

Tawana we don't know the extent of your illness; only you and your doctor(s) know that ; however if your health is declining due to this please take whatever steps are necessary to remedy the situation. A man that is so callous as to ignore your family needs is so .Counseling is excellent advice as I; believe it or not; feel that marriage should not be taken lightly and preservation should be paramount.

Who knows he may be depressed too,as one of my friends with the same exact issue husband was diagnosed.

Sorry for the rant as this issue is a sore point with me; and Tawana asked for our honest opinions.

********************************************************************************

Now that I've settled down; good morning . We are having such a lovely weekend here; like a cool crisp autumn day

Edited August 13, 2006 by Jamaica to CT

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Just in case it gets lost at the bottom of the page, Trinilad has some questions about what's needed for the interview. He posted his own topic in this Latin America, Mexico and Caribbean section.

[brownnskinn 0]

HI Guys

I have been living in hell. I made the biggest mistake of my life, i have created my own hell. For those who remember me, I need your help, please. I'm so stressed out and don't know what else to do. Craig's been here for 8months now and i have tried to make it work, he has changed too much, this is not the man I married. I asked him to do one thing (ask for a temp work stamp) he came here telling me he forgot. I stopped going to school to support him. He is lazy and the most important think to him is music video. If I past out in the room he wouldn't even notice. I don't want to be mean and send him back but I'm very sick and I cant do this any more. I'm very unhappy and I suffer from Bi-polar dissorder that makes me upset all the time. What can I do. I need some input. Thanks

P.S. Tell me if this is a man that cares: He came in one day crying on the floor walk over me pick his clothes up and left with his friends for the park. He never even called to see if I was ok. I know Jamaican men are laid back but please be honest.

Check your PM

[Ms Squitto 0]

HI Guys

I have been living in hell. I made the biggest mistake of my life, i have created my own hell. For those who remember me, I need your help, please. I'm so stressed out and don't know what else to do. Craig's been here for 8months now and i have tried to make it work, he has changed too much, this is not the man I married. I asked him to do one thing (ask for a temp work stamp) he came here telling me he forgot. I stopped going to school to support him. He is lazy and the most important think to him is music video. If I past out in the room he wouldn't even notice. I don't want to be mean and send him back but I'm very sick and I cant do this any more. I'm very unhappy and I suffer from Bi-polar dissorder that makes me upset all the time. What can I do. I need some input. Thanks

P.S. Tell me if this is a man that cares: He came in one day crying on the floor walk over me pick his clothes up and left with his friends for the park. He never even called to see if I was ok. I know Jamaican men are laid back but please be honest.

Hi Tawana-

I am not sure I remember you but I am one of the newer members of this thread myself. However, I would like to try to help you.....well...like Elizabeth said.....you need some support closer than this thread. Try to call one of the local family service agencies to get some counseling. Just talking with someone can help the depression. Also...if you have not applied for the EAD/Greencard than you should explore that. If your husband is not willing to work and not showing you any affection/attention than you need to take steps to end the relationship. It is unhealthy for you especially considering your bi-polar condition. I think all of us signed on to support of fiancees/husbands for a brief period until they were able to pursue jobs on their own and help out. If you husband feels that this is a "free ride" than maybe you need to talk with him about your expectations and let him know how unhappy you are. If he is unwilling to listen or participate in this relationship than I think he has given you all the answers you need and you need to begin steps to take care of yourself. First though....go see someone for support and try to be strong....all of us are here for you if you need to talk!!!

Hope things get better!!!

ditto.

[Minfay 0]

Good morning!!

I have been living in hell. I made the biggest mistake of my life, i have created my own hell.

I agree with what everyone else has said. Nobody said these relationships would be easy......you have to do what is best for you.

[Sbys 0]

Happy Monday Everyone

[darlene 0]

Good morning!

Everyone has been so quiet this weekend. Hopefully that is a sign it was a good one for all. The weather has been absolutely beautiful.

When packet 3 is picked up how soon can the forms be dropped off and can they be dropped off at the same time? Also how long is it before packet for will be available to be picked up?

Can anybody pickup packet 4?

Do they need the complete application to complete packet 3 or is that when you are there for the interview? If you could direct me to where this is all written I won't have to ask the same questions that you answer over and over.

Thanks again.

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Good morning!!

I have been living in hell. I made the biggest mistake of my life, i have created my own hell.

I agree with what everyone else has said. Nobody said these relationships would be easy......you have to do what is best for you.

In addition to that Tawana, without generalizing, I can say that Jamaicans and most Caribbean cultures do not handle bipolar disorder well. The illness is completely misunderstood and viewed as laziness (when you are down) and weakness (with regard to coping under stress). I know two Jamaican bipolar men and they went undiagnosed for years and when they were diagnosed their spouses and familes did not buy it. They kept telling these men to get over it and pull themselves togther (without medication). One man had to move to Atlanta and start over - he is on meds, remarried and doing great. You need to find out what your husband thinks of this disease - may explain his walking over you when you were sick......

[kimlbs 0]

Good morning!

Everyone has been so quiet this weekend. Hopefully that is a sign it was a good one for all. The weather has been absolutely beautiful.

When packet 3 is picked up how soon can the forms be dropped off and can they be dropped off at the same time? Also how long is it before packet for will be available to be picked up?

Can anybody pickup packet 4?

Do they need the complete application to complete packet 3 or is that when you are there for the interview? If you could direct me to where this is all written I won't have to ask the same questions that you answer over and over.

Thanks again.

Hi Darlene-

You should go back and read one of my responses that I gave you. I think I wrote all of the answers to your questions except maybe the one about packet 3. So.....packet 3 can be picked up as soon as you confirm with the embassy that your case has arrived from NVC. You can call NVC to check the status in about 10 days from the date you received your approval from USCIS. You can "try" to have your fiancee pick up and drop off the DS230 the same day but they usually do not let you. My fiancee picked it up one day and dropped it off the day after.

We did pick up packet 4 but we had hoped that it would be mailed......it never arrived. After drpping of the DS230, I called the embassy about 1 week later and they confirmed our appt date and time. We then made the medical appointment and waited for packet 4 to arrive. It never came so we went and picked it up 1 week before the medical was scheduled. It worked out fine because he had to go pick up his police cert at that time in Kingston so we had no issues traveling back and forth.

Good luck...go back and check out my previous response to you.......it has a lot of info you are asking .....

Yes...it was a lovely weekend even though I worked the whole weekend but we had nice evenings!!! Some of my male friends took Duane out for a bachelor party Saturday night...got him all drunk and stuff!!! He said he had a great time though!!! Thursday is our BIG day........I am getting those weddding jitters!!

Edited August 14, 2006 by kimlbs

[Minfay 0]

Some of my male friends took Duane out for a bachelor party Saturday night...got him all drunk and stuff!!! He said he had a great time though!!! Thursday is our BIG day........I am getting those weddding jitters!![/color]

I think that's exactly what Roy needs!!!! :lol:

Don't be nervous. Everything will work out just fine. All of us have already taken care of all the "problems" that could occur on your wedding day.....you are free and clear

Edited August 14, 2006 by Minfay

[darlene 0]

Good morning!

Everyone has been so quiet this weekend. Hopefully that is a sign it was a good one for all. The weather has been absolutely beautiful.

When packet 3 is picked up how soon can the forms be dropped off and can they be dropped off at the same time? Also how long is it before packet for will be available to be picked up?

Can anybody pickup packet 4?

Do they need the complete application to complete packet 3 or is that when you are there for the interview? If you could direct me to where this is all written I won't have to ask the same questions that you answer over and over.

Thanks again.

Thanks again. I will go back to what you wrote to me already. I am just a space shot lately. The thing is he is on the ship and I have to have someone do some running around for me.

Best wishes on your upcoming "big day". That is so exciting.

Hi Darlene-

You should go back and read one of my responses that I gave you. I think I wrote all of the answers to your questions except maybe the one about packet 3. So.....packet 3 can be picked up as soon as you confirm with the embassy that your case has arrived from NVC. You can call NVC to check the status in about 10 days from the date you received your approval from USCIS. You can "try" to have your fiancee pick up and drop off the DS230 the same day but they usually do not let you. My fiancee picked it up one day and dropped it off the day after.

We did pick up packet 4 but we had hoped that it would be mailed......it never arrived. After drpping of the DS230, I called the embassy about 1 week later and they confirmed our appt date and time. We then made the medical appointment and waited for packet 4 to arrive. It never came so we went and picked it up 1 week before the medical was scheduled. It worked out fine because he had to go pick up his police cert at that time in Kingston so we had no issues traveling back and forth.

Good luck...go back and check out my previous response to you.......it has a lot of info you are asking .....

Yes...it was a lovely weekend even though I worked the whole weekend but we had nice evenings!!! Some of my male friends took Duane out for a bachelor party Saturday night...got him all drunk and stuff!!! He said he had a great time though!!! Thursday is our BIG day........I am getting those weddding jitters!!

[kimlbs 0]

Darlene.....no problem.....I think I asked the same questions multiple times myself.....this entire process is so confusing and can be a bit complex/stressful...especially if you are trying to work around his ship schedule and have "others" helping you....Please continue asking.....we have all been in your shoes!!

[brownnskinn 0]

Hey.

[nyseness 0]

Hi everyone