Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

[brownnskinn 0]

Denise,

How old is his daughter? When I cld the USCIS they told me I DO NOT need to complete a G-325A for him but make sure to add him to the I-130 & I-129F forms. The info is so contradicting....it doesn't make sense.

Anna

Anna his daughter was 11 at the time. I did the K-1 so may be It's different.

[brownnskinn 0]

My man is damn near perfect......I guess I should have knocked on wood Cause he showed his assests this evning So he's going back to JA. So I guess we won't need that info pass appointment to morrow. He's up set cause a week ago I tried to explain that it rude/dispectful to be with out shirt in the house infront of a woman. Anyone else feel this was? Am I crazy? I think of it like having a hat on in church or at the dinner table. So he comes in the house had this weard look on his face, I'm like whats the matter, nutin, I thought to my self you lie. Shortly afterward he went on a tangit about how in Ja they go without a shirt rey, rey, rey. At home with my daughter rey, rey, rey. He's back got to finish later.

[Trinilad 0]

My man is damn near perfect......I guess I should have knocked on wood Cause he showed his assests this evning So he's going back to JA. So I guess we won't need that info pass appointment to morrow. He's up set cause a week ago I tried to explain that it rude/dispectful to be with out shirt in the house infront of a woman. Anyone else feel this was? Am I crazy? I think of it like having a hat on in church or at the dinner table. So he comes in the house had this weard look on his face, I'm like whats the matter, nutin, I thought to my self you lie. Shortly afterward he went on a tangit about how in Ja they go without a shirt rey, rey, rey. At home with my daughter rey, rey, rey. He's back got to finish later.

And this is where that great big ball of patience comes in. Take the "going back to Jamaica" line off the table. Work on the shirt situation a bit cause you really have to. But remember your appointment tomorrow. After it is over.....a cold glass of wine, some good old fashioned loving and this too shall pass. Hey, just one more story to talk about when you are celebrating that 10 year anniversary. Bet it is going to seem very funny then.

[Jamaica to CT 0]

My man is damn near perfect......I guess I should have knocked on wood Cause he showed his assests this evning So he's going back to JA. So I guess we won't need that info pass appointment to morrow. He's up set cause a week ago I tried to explain that it rude/dispectful to be with out shirt in the house infront of a woman. Anyone else feel this was? Am I crazy? I think of it like having a hat on in church or at the dinner table. So he comes in the house had this weard look on his face, I'm like whats the matter, nutin, I thought to my self you lie. Shortly afterward he went on a tangit about how in Ja they go without a shirt rey, rey, rey. At home with my daughter rey, rey, rey. He's back got to finish later.

And this is where that great big ball of patience comes in. Take the "going back to Jamaica" line off the table. Work on the shirt situation a bit cause you really have to. But remember your appointment tomorrow. After it is over.....a cold glass of wine, some good old fashioned loving and this too shall pass. Hey, just one more story to talk about when you are celebrating that 10 year anniversary. Bet it is going to seem very funny then.

You're alright Trinilad . I hope you stick around after your visa is approved; because you give such great advice and comments. Your fiance is one forturnate girl.

[tali 0]

My man is damn near perfect......I guess I should have knocked on wood Cause he showed his assests this evning So he's going back to JA. So I guess we won't need that info pass appointment to morrow. He's up set cause a week ago I tried to explain that it rude/dispectful to be with out shirt in the house infront of a woman. Anyone else feel this was? Am I crazy? I think of it like having a hat on in church or at the dinner table. So he comes in the house had this weard look on his face, I'm like whats the matter, nutin, I thought to my self you lie. Shortly afterward he went on a tangit about how in Ja they go without a shirt rey, rey, rey. At home with my daughter rey, rey, rey. He's back got to finish later.

And this is where that great big ball of patience comes in. Take the "going back to Jamaica" line off the table. Work on the shirt situation a bit cause you really have to. But remember your appointment tomorrow. After it is over.....a cold glass of wine, some good old fashioned loving and this too shall pass. Hey, just one more story to talk about when you are celebrating that 10 year anniversary. Bet it is going to seem very funny then.

You're alright Trinilad . I hope you stick around after your visa is approved; because you give such great advice and comments. Your fiance is one forturnate girl.

Ditto - I really like your comments Trinilad.

Yes - I'm totally with you on the shirt thing - but I am chuckling because the same thing happens here. I'll make a comment about something, an if he dosen't start cursing to himself right away, he will eventually come back to me like: 'I tink about what you said - why you say dat lie?' Or something like that. I have learned not to take these comments (as amusing as they seem on the outside) lightly. I've realized that he gets genuinely hurt when he things I've accused him of something he's not done "wrong". And I've also learned that he thinks that I think everything he does is wrong. Sooooo not true - but I can see how constantly being reminded to do things the way we do it here can feel that way.

I'm with Trinilad. Take a deep breath, have a glass of wine, and get to smooching

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

My man is damn near perfect......I guess I should have knocked on wood Cause he showed his assests this evning So he's going back to JA. So I guess we won't need that info pass appointment to morrow. He's up set cause a week ago I tried to explain that it rude/dispectful to be with out shirt in the house infront of a woman. Anyone else feel this was? Am I crazy? I think of it like having a hat on in church or at the dinner table. So he comes in the house had this weard look on his face, I'm like whats the matter, nutin, I thought to my self you lie. Shortly afterward he went on a tangit about how in Ja they go without a shirt rey, rey, rey. At home with my daughter rey, rey, rey. He's back got to finish later.

And this is where that great big ball of patience comes in. Take the "going back to Jamaica" line off the table. Work on the shirt situation a bit cause you really have to. But remember your appointment tomorrow. After it is over.....a cold glass of wine, some good old fashioned loving and this too shall pass. Hey, just one more story to talk about when you are celebrating that 10 year anniversary. Bet it is going to seem very funny then.

I agree my Trini friend.

But Den, so you don't feel too bad....I've got you beat...my darling Henry thinks the item of clothing in the pic below are "shorts" acceptable for wearing around the house in front of female company. When I went bilingual on him a few days after the fact, he denied that he ever did that in JA, even though my cousins and my friend remember it as I did - he and his chones running around the house in Mobay. Well last week my aunt was here and who came downstairs in his calvin kleins, paired with an I Love NY T Shirt????? I kid you not people. He, his Calvin and the family jewels. What is up with that???? Is my baby a pervert?

Edited October 12, 2006 by Elizabethnhenry

[thndrdancr 0]

You guys are too funny.

I have the OPPOSITE problem with Lake. I have told him its PERFECTLY acceptable now and then in the HOT weather, like when he is outside working and its 100 plus degrees, to go without a shirt, or to wear a tank. He works and wears THE hottest stuff. It was ALL I could do to actually get him to wear SHORTS, short pants as he calls them.

On the ship, he wore shorts all the time, but the first summer he was here, he would work outside in the heat all day wearing jeans, socks, long sleeved shirts, etc. I was like...FOR PITY SAKE, man,your gonna pass out!...

[brownnskinn 0]

My man is damn near perfect......I guess I should have knocked on wood Cause he showed his assests this evning So he's going back to JA. So I guess we won't need that info pass appointment to morrow. He's up set cause a week ago I tried to explain that it rude/dispectful to be with out shirt in the house infront of a woman. Anyone else feel this was? Am I crazy? I think of it like having a hat on in church or at the dinner table. So he comes in the house had this weard look on his face, I'm like whats the matter, nutin, I thought to my self you lie. Shortly afterward he went on a tangit about how in Ja they go without a shirt rey, rey, rey. At home with my daughter rey, rey, rey. He's back got to finish later.

Okay.. as I was saying. I was trying to explain my point of view on the shirt thing, He tok it all wrong saying your just being possessive, I'm like what ????I wanted to say get over yourself. Why would I be possessive where my daughter and mother are concerned It makes my daughter feel uncomfortable to see him without a shirt. How I don't want my husband to look barbaric. So ,I ask whats really the matter??? Why are you acting like you seeing your period. Never say dat again. Just a figure of speech right, well, not where my hubbys concerned, my way of saying you are having a bad day or whats with your bad attitude didn't set right. Him ah curse, and fling bad word, and a whole bunch of other stuff I couldn't understand. He threaten to go back to Ja, I said your not going any damn where!!!! Then he said I'll go live in my car What ever???I pulled the cover over my head and went back to sleep. He left for a soccor game. When returned It was like nothing had ever happened. He cooked,( cause I sure the hell wasn't), made my plate, washed the dishes, cleaned out the refrig. I'm like he's crazy. Then said...It's time to go to your bed???I'm looking around like okay .(sense when do I need a bed time) You need to shower he barks, I'm in no mood to fight so I shower even tho I'm 31 years old and I know when I need to shower. He gets in with, washes me from head to toe, turn this way, that way, rey rey rey, we get out, he dries me off rubbs me down with lotion, we have I'm mad at you, but I love you sex and the argument is over...how weird is he?? He's soooo werd. It's funny how when ever we get into it, it's over by the time he falls asleep. Our arguments so far have never gone into the next day. I guess one of the many reason why I love him so much, I wish he would just listen.

..... who came downstairs in his calvin kleins, paired with an I Love NY T Shirt????? I kid you not people. He, his Calvin and the family jewels. What is up with that???? Is my baby a pervert?

[rhondapayter 0]

So...I am sorry I hashed up some "old" stuff but I do think it takes a lot of strength to admit that you made a mistake................. [/color]

Yes, this is so true And thank goodness there were no children yet or anything - that would have been so much worse

But Den, so you don't feel too bad....I've got you beat...my darling Henry thinks the item of clothing in the pic below are "shorts" acceptable for wearing around the house in front of female company. He, his Calvin and the family jewels. What is up with that???? Is my baby a pervert?

Nice pic!! Honestly you guys have me cracking up here! I don't have an issue w/ the no shirt thing. That doesn't even faze me. My family has always been really open and laid back - no one would think much of it. Running around in his boxers however is a different story

[rhondapayter 0]

When returned It was like nothing had ever happened. He cooked,( cause I sure the hell wasn't), made my plate, washed the dishes, cleaned out the refrig. I'm like he's crazy. Then said...It's time to go to your bed???

we have I'm mad at you, but I love you sex and the argument is over...how weird is he?? He's soooo werd. It's funny how when ever we get into it, it's over by the time he falls asleep. Our arguments so far have never gone into the next day. I guess one of the many reason why I love him so much, I wish he would just listen.

He is NOT weird Consider yourself very lucky Guys have a funny way of saying "I'm sorry". Sometimes the actual words never come out of their mouth - you have to just go by their actions. Him cooking and cleaning was his way of saying it. I think I'm gonna have try that "I'm mad at you but I love you sex" w/ Tony next time we fight.

[Jamaica to CT 0]

It makes my daughter feel uncomfortable to see him without a shirt.

Then he should respect your wishes and your daughters feelings. How your present yourself around adults are one thing; children-especially girls; are entirely another.

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Good morning .

[rhondapayter 0]

Wow! I have 2 people on here with me! What's everyone doing up so early?

[luvtravlin 0]

NEW TOPIC .......

Okay, how do "I" handle, take or whatever THIS situation ???????????? I would LOVE to get Trin (or any guys)... point of view as well !!!

Sorry to say, I just do NOT trust Craig (great for a marriage, huh?)!!!.....because he just continues to lie (which he doesn't *think* is a lie) ....anyway, I went in his pants pocket last night and there was a phone number ....her name is SWEETS. So I called it (..blocked my number, just to verify it was a chic) and it was. Then there was also the number of the other "friend" which I guess "I" hoped (even though I KNOW it hasn't been) taken care of. So I started to wash the "dark" clothes and I said, Craig would you like me to wash the jeans that you've been wearing all week? and he says, yeah that would be good and I said, don't forget to clean out your pockets (I had the 2 numbers in MY pocket) and then "I" turn "B" on him and he's like what's wrong.........so I say something about this girls number in his pocket. HE SAYS, she slipped in in there!!!!!!!!! My son was still awake and I did EVERYthing in my power NOT to go postal on him !!!!!!!!! I said, we'll talk when Austin goes to sleep. So we did, NOT pretty. This is a girl he's been working with.............I was like YOU are a GROWN man, WHEN she gave you the number, you should have handed it back and said, no thank you!!!!!

SO, my question to you all.............should "I" be upset that he has a girls number because she's a co-worker??? I mean I'm not being naive about this. Trust me, I'm at my boiling point. Should "I" call her and ask to what extent their relationship is?? Should "I" be pissed? Do I just let it go?? Does Craig REALLY "need" to make friends with a woman and someone that "I" don't know??? I have a TON of guy friends, but....he's met EVERY one of them and that was within the 1st week of him being here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've now taken away his cell phone (which was an extra pre-paid phone my son lent him) because I don't TRUST the phone calls that are being made, received, etc. I told him last night, if "he" WANTS a "real" phone..........than GO AND BUY YOUR OWN !!!! He told me that someone at work (a female) was going to put him on HER family plan and I was like, nooooooooo YOU go and GET your OWN phone !!!!!

He STILL continues to say that the other chic is a "friend".....don't believe him there either.

I told him that this relationship is a TOTAL joke because he does NOT respect me OR my son. That HE is the one f-g up MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!

Please chime in EVERYONE ...........how would YOU GUYS handle this situation ???!!!

Thanks!

Frustrated, pissed, ready to LOSE my mind, etc etc etc I'm TRYING to keep that "happy face" in front of my son, because if he sees me pissed off at Craig, those that have kids know, they go into PROTECT mommy mode !!!!!

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

NEW TOPIC .......

Okay, how do "I" handle, take or whatever THIS situation ???????????? I would LOVE to get Trin (or any guys)... point of view as well !!!

Sorry to say, I just do NOT trust Craig (great for a marriage, huh?)!!!.....because he just continues to lie (which he doesn't *think* is a lie) ....anyway, I went in his pants pocket last night and there was a phone number ....her name is SWEETS. So I called it (..blocked my number, just to verify it was a chic) and it was. Then there was also the number of the other "friend" which I guess "I" hoped (even though I KNOW it hasn't been) taken care of. So I started to wash the "dark" clothes and I said, Craig would you like me to wash the jeans that you've been wearing all week? and he says, yeah that would be good and I said, don't forget to clean out your pockets (I had the 2 numbers in MY pocket) and then "I" turn "B" on him and he's like what's wrong.........so I say something about this girls number in his pocket. HE SAYS, she slipped in in there!!!!!!!!! My son was still awake and I did EVERYthing in my power NOT to go postal on him !!!!!!!!! I said, we'll talk when Austin goes to sleep. So we did, NOT pretty. This is a girl he's been working with.............I was like YOU are a GROWN man, WHEN she gave you the number, you should have handed it back and said, no thank you!!!!!

SO, my question to you all.............should "I" be upset that he has a girls number because she's a co-worker??? I mean I'm not being naive about this. Trust me, I'm at my boiling point. Should "I" call her and ask to what extent their relationship is?? Should "I" be pissed? Do I just let it go?? Does Craig REALLY "need" to make friends with a woman and someone that "I" don't know??? I have a TON of guy friends, but....he's met EVERY one of them and that was within the 1st week of him being here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've now taken away his cell phone (which was an extra pre-paid phone my son lent him) because I don't TRUST the phone calls that are being made, received, etc. I told him last night, if "he" WANTS a "real" phone..........than GO AND BUY YOUR OWN !!!! He told me that someone at work (a female) was going to put him on HER family plan and I was like, nooooooooo YOU go and GET your OWN phone !!!!!

He STILL continues to say that the other chic is a "friend".....don't believe him there either.

I told him that this relationship is a TOTAL joke because he does NOT respect me OR my son. That HE is the one f-g up MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!

Please chime in EVERYONE ...........how would YOU GUYS handle this situation ???!!!

Thanks!

Frustrated, pissed, ready to LOSE my mind, etc etc etc I'm TRYING to keep that "happy face" in front of my son, because if he sees me pissed off at Craig, those that have kids know, they go into PROTECT mommy mode !!!!!

First of all good morning!! I'm going to make this as brief as possible, because to me, it really isn't that complicated. I believe that you already know what's going on with your man....we women always do, but for one reason or another we always want to second-guess ourselves or come up with a variety of excuses to try and explain away this obviously deceitful and wrong behavior. I, personally, believe your man is stepping out...and although it may not be a physical thing YET, it is still stepping out. He's accepting phone numbers from women at work, and he still hasn't respected you or your son enough to tell the chic that's in NY to stop calling. Period. He's married, and he's GOT to do better. There are no excuses for this kind of behavior. If the girl at work really is a friend, then why hasn't he said, "Hey baby, I met this new girl at work today and she seems really cool or something" (not that that would fly too well with me either, but at least he wouldn't be hiding) I know if it were me, the whole chic from NY thing would have ended our relationship if he hadn't dealt with it in the matter that I thought was appropriate. If he sees something is bothering you that much and hurting you that much, then why wouldn't he do everything in his power to see that it is stopped because you are the queen in his life and the one that means the most to him in this world. Personally, I just don't deal with cheating or lying of ANY kind. I have no tolerance for it. But I am not in your situation, and we may handle things in different ways. Honestly though, if your gut tells you that he's being shady...then he is...but what are YOU going to do about it? What kind of message is this sending to your son? Although he may not be in the same room when you guys are talking about these things, believe me he knows what's going on. I am a therapist that works with kids, and they ALWAYS know, no matter how much you try and keep it behind your bedroom doors, or how you try and wait until they go to sleep. And being a child growing up in a household whose parents "waited" until my sister and I were asleep to have their fights, let me just tell you that we were NOT asleep! Craig is living in your house and being the "father" to your son....is he providing the example of how a man should behave and how a man should treat a woman that you would want him to? Is your son learning how a man should respect and treat women from your husband? You and your son's well-being are your top priority (or should be at least). If I were you, I would seriously consider how detrimental this relationship is being to you AND your son both mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If it is not uplifting and making your lives better, then actions must be taken...SOONER rather than later...

[luvtravlin 0]

NEW TOPIC .......

Okay, how do "I" handle, take or whatever THIS situation ???????????? I would LOVE to get Trin (or any guys)... point of view as well !!!

Sorry to say, I just do NOT trust Craig (great for a marriage, huh?)!!!.....because he just continues to lie (which he doesn't *think* is a lie) ....anyway, I went in his pants pocket last night and there was a phone number ....her name is SWEETS. So I called it (..blocked my number, just to verify it was a chic) and it was. Then there was also the number of the other "friend" which I guess "I" hoped (even though I KNOW it hasn't been) taken care of. So I started to wash the "dark" clothes and I said, Craig would you like me to wash the jeans that you've been wearing all week? and he says, yeah that would be good and I said, don't forget to clean out your pockets (I had the 2 numbers in MY pocket) and then "I" turn "B" on him and he's like what's wrong.........so I say something about this girls number in his pocket. HE SAYS, she slipped in in there!!!!!!!!! My son was still awake and I did EVERYthing in my power NOT to go postal on him !!!!!!!!! I said, we'll talk when Austin goes to sleep. So we did, NOT pretty. This is a girl he's been working with.............I was like YOU are a GROWN man, WHEN she gave you the number, you should have handed it back and said, no thank you!!!!!

SO, my question to you all.............should "I" be upset that he has a girls number because she's a co-worker??? I mean I'm not being naive about this. Trust me, I'm at my boiling point. Should "I" call her and ask to what extent their relationship is?? Should "I" be pissed? Do I just let it go?? Does Craig REALLY "need" to make friends with a woman and someone that "I" don't know??? I have a TON of guy friends, but....he's met EVERY one of them and that was within the 1st week of him being here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've now taken away his cell phone (which was an extra pre-paid phone my son lent him) because I don't TRUST the phone calls that are being made, received, etc. I told him last night, if "he" WANTS a "real" phone..........than GO AND BUY YOUR OWN !!!! He told me that someone at work (a female) was going to put him on HER family plan and I was like, nooooooooo YOU go and GET your OWN phone !!!!!

He STILL continues to say that the other chic is a "friend".....don't believe him there either.

I told him that this relationship is a TOTAL joke because he does NOT respect me OR my son. That HE is the one f-g up MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!

Please chime in EVERYONE ...........how would YOU GUYS handle this situation ???!!!

Thanks!

Frustrated, pissed, ready to LOSE my mind, etc etc etc I'm TRYING to keep that "happy face" in front of my son, because if he sees me pissed off at Craig, those that have kids know, they go into PROTECT mommy mode !!!!!

First of all good morning!! I'm going to make this as brief as possible, because to me, it really isn't that complicated. I believe that you already know what's going on with your man....we women always do, but for one reason or another we always want to second-guess ourselves or come up with a variety of excuses to try and explain away this obviously deceitful and wrong behavior. I, personally, believe your man is stepping out...and although it may not be a physical thing YET, it is still stepping out. He's accepting phone numbers from women at work, and he still hasn't respected you or your son enough to tell the chic that's in NY to stop calling. Period. He's married, and he's GOT to do better. There are no excuses for this kind of behavior. If the girl at work really is a friend, then why hasn't he said, "Hey baby, I met this new girl at work today and she seems really cool or something" (not that that would fly too well with me either, but at least he wouldn't be hiding) I know if it were me, the whole chic from NY thing would have ended our relationship if he hadn't dealt with it in the matter that I thought was appropriate. If he sees something is bothering you that much and hurting you that much, then why wouldn't he do everything in his power to see that it is stopped because you are the queen in his life and the one that means the most to him in this world. Personally, I just don't deal with cheating or lying of ANY kind. I have no tolerance for it. But I am not in your situation, and we may handle things in different ways. Honestly though, if your gut tells you that he's being shady...then he is...but what are YOU going to do about it? What kind of message is this sending to your son? Although he may not be in the same room when you guys are talking about these things, believe me he knows what's going on. I am a therapist that works with kids, and they ALWAYS know, no matter how much you try and keep it behind your bedroom doors, or how you try and wait until they go to sleep. And being a child growing up in a household whose parents "waited" until my sister and I were asleep to have their fights, let me just tell you that we were NOT asleep! Craig is living in your house and being the "father" to your son....is he providing the example of how a man should behave and how a man should treat a woman that you would want him to? Is your son learning how a man should respect and treat women from your husband? You and your son's well-being are your top priority (or should be at least). If I were you, I would seriously consider how detrimental this relationship is being to you AND your son both mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If it is not uplifting and making your lives better, then actions must be taken...SOONER rather than later...

THANK YOU for being honest, upfront, etc etc.....!! I'm going to show him that "I" am not crazy.

I KNOW that I do NOT want to be in this relationship and have told him time and time again, IF this situation was different (him living here), he'd be WAY gone by now !!!!!! I've given MY all and he's given NOTHING!!! I'm going to contact my friend who is a lawyer today.

My son, truly does NOT know!!! He was WAY asleep when we were talking. He has NO idea that there's anything to do with another woman, but he does see how disrespectful he is, but I don't say....oh, it will be okay, I fight back and TELL HIM in front of my son, that your behavior is unacceptable on EVERY level!!!!

So would you call the girl from work????????? or leave it at that???

KEEP the advice...and opinions COMING!!!