Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

[brownnskinn 0]

The only advice I can give to anyone here, is LISTEN to your intuition, your gut. NOT your heart, but your instincts. It always seems to tell you true, even tho its hard to listen. Always seems like your mind/brain tells you one thing, your heart something else, and then the one that is usually dead on, the intuition. Which is usually the answer I get when I pray bout somethin, so I personally believe its our higher power trying to guide us.

Morning. Great advise

[brownnskinn 0]

Most of time I feel like our relationship is too good to be true, so good that it's hard to fuss about "little things". I do believe that not relationship is perfect. But I think we come damn near close. I am blessed.

Sounds like we married the same man........

Like I said before......Sometimes I think feel guilty because I wish I had more bad experiences to share........We have our share of little fights but overall he is to good to be true........However, I truly know how hard it is to be in a bad relationship though. My son's father was abusive and he cheated all the time. He never worked and sat around demanding things of me. It was miserable and I had absolutely no sex drive at all.......I loved him and I was afraid to tell anyone or leave him because I was so young and everyone would have said..."I told you so.......blah, blah, blah........"

One bit of advice that I would tell anyone new.....go stay in Jamaica and stay with your fiance at his house in his environment.....try to visit often or stay for long periods of time........meet all his/her family and friends and try to live as normal as possible when you are in Jamaica....hand wash clothes...shower without hot water, live without running water, cook Jamaican food and live without air conditioning. Do not stay at hotels, eat at restaurants and sit on the beach drinking rum punch............this is not realistic and you will be in for a true shock when he arrives....The lust of the great guy with a sexy accent will go out the door when he arrives....he won't know you and you won't know him. The vacation and fairy tell will be over and it will be very hard to try and build a relationship amoungst that kinda stress............

Just my thoughts for the newbies........

I think that's great advice!! I love that Squito and I never really lived the "fantasy life" in Jamaica. I'm sure it would've made things a lot harder for us now. We stayed in a hotel once, and it was only for 2 days. I always stayed at his house or at his parents house (or by my uncles house which is in the same district).

Once my flight came in to JA late we decided to drive up to his parents place to stay the night. The walls separating the rooms did not go to the seiling and of course we haven't seen each other in months so he wants to do the do. NoT!!!! I was like there is no way in heavens, I need a shower, and rey, rey, rey So he proceeded to show me the shower out in the back yard, coming from the pole in the ground. No shower for me that night. His sister however, went flying through the house pealing her clothes of running toward the shower once she smelled the bath and body works I brought for her. His mother offered me cold corn on the cobb as a snack on arrival. It was quite a learning experience for me, I tell you. One night when I could have slept in my big king bed at the Riu (They wouldn't allow him to stay in my room) We went got a 20$ room, It was horrific!! I think thats the night I proved my love for him

[thndrdancr 0]

Thank you all again for letting me vent. I promise to refrain for any more long missives for awhile. Maybe its best anyway to let the board get back to lighter matters. Just please say a prayer for me in the meantime

Don't worry about it That's what we're here for. And don't worry about your long posts - thndrdncr has you beat in that category anyways I personally like these deep topics - I think it helps everyone to get the total picture of things - not just the light, fun stuff.

Glad to know I excel in some category!

[brownnskinn 0]

Good Morning Family

I have some questions on the K3 and I am soooooooo lost....

1) Do I need to complete two I-130 forms for my spouse and his child? And attach two filing fees? And if so for step A #1 should I check "child" for my step-child?

2) Do I need to complete two add'l G-325A forms from my spouse and his child (he's 9)?

3) In step C #17 do I have to list both of his kids or just the one I am filing for?

4) In step C #21 we never lived together so should I put "N/A or put an explanation?

5) Can I submit the "temporary" marriage cert or do I have to wait for the original? And if I were to send the temporary one will I get a RFE?

I would appreciate if anyone could help. Thanks in advance.

Anna

Hey Anna...I truely have no clue, but I did however read a post where someone did not list the children and had some trouble. Are children coming now or any time in the future? If so I would list them. When When fileing for D's daughter she had all her own fee's. I had to complete the G325 for her a well.

[brownnskinn 0]

....She had doubts immediately after getting the Visa approved. When he arrived, she knew instantly that she could not go forward with a wedding. She already had a BIG wedding planned with money deposited and the wedding dress purchased but she stuck to her gut and said goodbye.......she received a lot of ####### for it because people labeled her as "cruel"........Cruel or Not.....she followed her gut and made the decision that was right for her.................

Since I was one of the one's who had trouble understanding her choice to call it all off.... I feel the need to reply.

I don't thinK anyone was "Cruel"..... Immediately after getting the visa approved ?????... Is the key. I'm sorry, maybe this guy was an #######, but He never should have left JA if she had doughts that soon. I just felt like more thought should have gone into allowing someone to change their whole life. and then.......

Hey Dee -- Good Luck with your Infopass appointment. I will be keeping my fingers crossed

Thanks we need it .....no we don't need it, ######!!! Just incase cross you toes. too. What in the sam hell is taking them so long?????The 90's day will be up in two weeks.

Thank you all again for letting me vent. I promise to refrain for any more long missives for awhile. Maybe its best anyway to let the board get back to lighter matters. Just please say a prayer for me in the meantime

Don't worry about it That's what we're here for. And don't worry about your long posts - thndrdncr has you beat in that category anyways I personally like these deep topics - I think it helps everyone to get the total picture of things - not just the light, fun stuff.

Glad to know I excel in some category!

I go back and read your long post at night when I'm at work. Being evenly yolked is deeeep!!!It's truly fustrating when your not. It's almost undescrible/ beyond words when you are

[kimlbs 0]

....She had doubts immediately after getting the Visa approved. When he arrived, she knew instantly that she could not go forward with a wedding. She already had a BIG wedding planned with money deposited and the wedding dress purchased but she stuck to her gut and said goodbye.......she received a lot of ####### for it because people labeled her as "cruel"........Cruel or Not.....she followed her gut and made the decision that was right for her.................

Since I was one of the one's who had trouble understanding her choice to call it all off.... I feel the need to reply.

I don't thinK anyone was "Cruel"..... Immediately after getting the visa approved ?????... Is the key. I'm sorry, maybe this guy was an #######, but He never should have left JA if she had doughts that soon. I just felt like more thought should have gone into allowing someone to change their whole life. and then.......

I TOTALLY agree Dee.......I think the choice was a little late in the making and the poor guy left his job, his homeland ect...........there was a lot more to the story but the point I was trying to make had to do with not marrying someone if it just does not feel "right"...........I know a girl who married her fiancee (from South America...not JA) because the 90 days was expiring....she had lots of doubts prior to getting married. The cultural differences made it impossible for them to communicate and the guy NEVER helped her financially and disrespected her and her home all the time. Needless to say, she loved him so she married him due to the immigration pressure....they got divorced 6 months later.........

So...I am sorry I hashed up some "old" stuff but I do think it takes a lot of strength to admit that you made a mistake.................

Edited October 11, 2006 by kimlbs

[darlene 0]

Good morning everyone!! So, I'm starting off the morning a little frustrated. I called the Embassy yesterday to see if they had assigned us an interview date yet. The lady told me that she had not received the paperwork (DS-230). I informed her that it was dropped off a week ago, and she told me that she didn't have it...so what am I supposed to do now? I sent an e-mail yesterday as well. The last time I sent an e-mail, I never received a response. If I don't receive an e-mail response by Friday, then I'm just going to call back on Friday...I hate this!

You need to try to stay calm. I had overnighted the DS-230, it arrived the next day and they did not acknowledge it for almost 2 weeks. Once they do that it will go quickly. Hang in there.

[nyseness 0]

Denise,

How old is his daughter? When I cld the USCIS they told me I DO NOT need to complete a G-325A for him but make sure to add him to the I-130 & I-129F forms. The info is so contradicting....it doesn't make sense.

For those of you that filed the K3 and/or IR/CR did you submit the "temporary" or original marriage cert?

Good Morning Family

I have some questions on the K3 and I am soooooooo lost....

1) Do I need to complete two I-130 forms for my spouse and his child? And attach two filing fees? And if so for step A #1 should I check "child" for my step-child?

2) Do I need to complete two add'l G-325A forms from my spouse and his child (he's 9)?

3) In step C #17 do I have to list both of his kids or just the one I am filing for?

4) In step C #21 we never lived together so should I put "N/A or put an explanation?

5) Can I submit the "temporary" marriage cert or do I have to wait for the original? And if I were to send the temporary one will I get a RFE?

I would appreciate if anyone could help. Thanks in advance.

Anna

Hey Anna...I truely have no clue, but I did however read a post where someone did not list the children and had some trouble. Are children coming now or any time in the future? If so I would list them. When When fileing for D's daughter she had all her own fee's. I had to complete the G325 for her a well.

[ChristineJames 0]

Mindy....are you showing up this weekend? We talking about hitting Chen's on Clark and then WildHare or Exodus. I would love to meet you and Roy finally.

Jill -- I'm gonna do my best. Roy has to work and the only problem is if the weather is bad I will have to pick him up....I'll let you know. Where are you guys meeting and what time?

Dinner at 5:00 at Chen's on Clark. (I know sounds too early for me, but thats what they are picking)...and then staying local and either going to WH or EX. If you can't make it.....maybe we can wait for Anna's man to get up here and all go out together. Although....once again....I will be the 5th wheel. But then again...I did say things were "fantastic". I said that for a reason. wink wink

[nyseness 0]

Yes Jill, we know what wink wink means...... Oh wee......

Mindy....are you showing up this weekend? We talking about hitting Chen's on Clark and then WildHare or Exodus. I would love to meet you and Roy finally.

Jill -- I'm gonna do my best. Roy has to work and the only problem is if the weather is bad I will have to pick him up....I'll let you know. Where are you guys meeting and what time?

Dinner at 5:00 at Chen's on Clark. (I know sounds too early for me, but thats what they are picking)...and then staying local and either going to WH or EX. If you can't make it.....maybe we can wait for Anna's man to get up here and all go out together. Although....once again....I will be the 5th wheel. But then again...I did say things were "fantastic". I said that for a reason. wink wink

[Minfay 0]

But then again...I did say things were "fantastic". I said that for a reason. wink wink

[ChristineJames 0]

But then again...I did say things were "fantastic". I said that for a reason. wink wink

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Denise,

How old is his daughter? When I cld the USCIS they told me I DO NOT need to complete a G-325A for him but make sure to add him to the I-130 & I-129F forms. The info is so contradicting....it doesn't make sense.

For those of you that filed the K3 and/or IR/CR did you submit the "temporary" or original marriage cert?

Good Morning Family

I have some questions on the K3 and I am soooooooo lost....

1) Do I need to complete two I-130 forms for my spouse and his child? And attach two filing fees? And if so for step A #1 should I check "child" for my step-child?

2) Do I need to complete two add'l G-325A forms from my spouse and his child (he's 9)?

3) In step C #17 do I have to list both of his kids or just the one I am filing for?

4) In step C #21 we never lived together so should I put "N/A or put an explanation?

5) Can I submit the "temporary" marriage cert or do I have to wait for the original? And if I were to send the temporary one will I get a RFE?

I would appreciate if anyone could help. Thanks in advance.

Anna

Hey Anna...I truely have no clue, but I did however read a post where someone did not list the children and had some trouble. Are children coming now or any time in the future? If so I would list them. When When fileing for D's daughter she had all her own fee's. I had to complete the G325 for her a well.

Anna I submitted the original certificate - I spent a week in JA after the wedding and we got in that time. I think we paid $1000 JA. I would wait for the original. We married in January and I waited till March to file, thats how long it took to make all the copies and organize the packets....but that was just me...slow.

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Tali, I can totally sympathize with your plight. I applaud your honesty. Please don't hold back from your posting, whether it be long or short. Those who have the time to read it, do. I think it's great that you and your fiance had a serious heart-to-heart. Difficult conversations are necessary if we want our relationships to grow and improve. This statement really struck a chord with me: "I never thought about how hard it was to try and build a life with someone who is soooooo different from me in so many ways." Squito and I have so many differences yet our love enabled me to put blinders on. At times, I've had my doubts, but I seem to keep finding this strong faith deep inside of me that truely convinces me that everything will be just fine. Sure, I could've married a man in a suit, but that man in a suit wouldn't make me feel the way that Squito does. I know so many woman that are involved with "career men", white collar brothers that are on their way up the ladder, and a lot of them are no happier than I am. In fact, I know a woman who's husband is a partner in a prestigious Manhattan law firm and she often complains that he works too much and spends little time with her and their boys. Everytime I think to judge my husbands "blue collar" status, I think of situations like the one I mentioned and realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I never fully understood the "equally yolked" bit. I always thought it mean equals in values and beliefs, not career or financial status. I don't knwo I cannot speak much on the age difference as Squito and I are only 3 years apart. Did you ask your fiance why he never discussed his big plans with your before last night?

my thoughts to you is to keep praying. In a difficult situation such as this, it's the only thing you've got!

Did you read my diary, woman!!!????? I think so!

I agree with your definition of equally/unequally yoked. Most folks thinks it means you have to be the same religion/faith. But I believe it's more than that - but of course spiritual compatability being a big part of it.

Edited October 11, 2006 by Elizabethnhenry

[BelwinMills 0]

Mindy....are you showing up this weekend? We talking about hitting Chen's on Clark and then WildHare or Exodus. I would love to meet you and Roy finally.

Jill -- I'm gonna do my best. Roy has to work and the only problem is if the weather is bad I will have to pick him up....I'll let you know. Where are you guys meeting and what time?

Dinner at 5:00 at Chen's on Clark. (I know sounds too early for me, but thats what they are picking)...and then staying local and either going to WH or EX. If you can't make it.....maybe we can wait for Anna's man to get up here and all go out together. Although....once again....I will be the 5th wheel. But then again...I did say things were "fantastic". I said that for a reason. wink wink

You ladies have fun this weekend. Wish I could join you but its that darn 10 year high school reunion this week. It is going to be like so werid. Maybe some other time I could meet up with everyone. Dwain hopefully will be here by this summer.

Stay warm in the midwest are they really calling for snow how scary??

How is everyone doing on their diets/WW???

I am glad everyone is posting their experiences with their men we need to hear it all the good, bad and the ugly. So don't feel bad.. please.