Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

[Shemmy 4]

I finally booked my ticket.... I'm leaving on the 26th. I am soooooooo nervous!!!

Congrats I'm so happy for you

[BelwinMills 0]

Hey Jax!! We're coming back on December 29th just before new years. We'll be spending our New years right here in NYC! That's so cool that you're going down as well.

I will also be coming back on the 29th I am going to spend New Years Eve watching the Bears beat up Green Bay I have my priorities!!!

Are you flying out of mobay? we'll probably be in the airport at the same time!!

Yes we may be at the airport at the same time I think my flight leaves around 5 or 6. Not sure but its the ame Air JA flight I usually take.

[Shemmy 4]

Everything takes time, prayer and lots of patience. Good luck on your visa journey. And please remember, we are here for you...not to judge you.

Thanks to all of you. You guys are awesome. I can literally feel the support and encouragement. You've given me many things to think about - and I will definitely stay in prayer.

Want to know what?? ... Just 10 minutes ago he showed up at my job to tell me HE got a job. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy or so proud. I was torn. Part of me wanted to say "glad you're happy, but you are still a b*stard!". But I swallowed that part down and told him how proud I was of him.

So now, instead of calling American Airlines (which was my plan - that he was gonna have to leave tomorrow) - I think I will give this thing a bit more time.

Thanks again

See....everything takes time.

One of my friends has Air Jamaica programmed in her all her phones...just in case her husband wants to go home. Luckily, she never had to call.

[BelwinMills 0]

Hey everyone!!!

Darlene...that looks to be about right....i scanned packet#3 info into my computer i can e-mail it to you if you want....

you guys have me laughing....ok so yes the chicken bones...the LOUD ### music and t.v...and yes how can they talk in the taxis with the music so loud??? i know one time i was right next to the speaker and felt like i had been at a concert for like 2 days...oh ya and eating corn on the cobb....mike eats the WHOLE thing...and tells me that Americans waste food....and i siad well that is because we don't feel like doing the heimlich at every freaking meal...

kim how are you doing???

Anna congrats!!!

I love loud music!!! Crank it up! My mom and dad yelled at me during our wedding reception that we were bothering the neighboors with our loud music. Since our wedding was on Tuesday. I said dad and mom there are no rules here when to be quite enjoy. They had enough of the loud music ask the DJ to turn it down and when my dad would walk away they would turn it up again. I started cracking up as he got frustrated and I said its a part of this culture. Dad said no wonder you fit in here Cause my music has always been played loud and my classroom is the same way. Sometimes I leave my door open and teachers come by and shut it I wonder why???

[BelwinMills 0]

I finally booked my ticket.... I'm leaving on the 26th. I am soooooooo nervous!!!

Congratulations

All the best for your wedding day coming up!

[BelwinMills 0]

Goes to the bathroom with the seat down. I was like "why do you do that?" He says "I'm a grown man, I don't pee on the seat". Um.... yes you do buddy. YES YOU FREAKIN DO!!!

DWBCL!!!

Happy Friday ladies! TGIF. These husband-habits got me rollin' over here. But I have a question for you all. We may have done this before a while ago:

What do you do for a living? Do you like your job? Is it just a job or a stepping stone in your career? Are you what you wanted to be when you grew up? Do you have a dead end job (like mine)? Have you ever made a major career change? How did you go about doing that? Let's talk careers....

1. I am an elmentary music teacher. I teach K-5 music at two elementary schools. I have been teaching for 5 years now.

2. Do I like me job? yes I love it and would never change out of teaching it brings me joy and I get lots of hugs each day!!

3. I wanted to first be in Music Business in College but was hating the math side so my professor said I should take a trip to JA to see if I liked teaching. I said JA in Januray heck yeah and I fell in love with teaching in JA and meet my hubby on that trip. But I have always known sense Sophmore year of High School Music was my passion.

4. No this is not a dead end job at all.

5. no major career change yet... thinking about it since I have my masters in curriculm and instruction. So I am thinking about getting another masters and becoming an evil adminstrator. Don't know yet cause I love teaching my students.

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Oh boy, OH BOY. You all know that I have to chime in on today's posts. I know some of you may be shaking your heads and saying oh no here she goes again .

Before I put my 2 cents in I want to ask Kim how her sister is doing and let Shauna know she's in my thoughts today as I know that she not only lost her beloved grandmother but also was deeply saddened by the sad and senseless deaths of the Amish girls.

Nowww....

To answer Ms. Squitto's question:

I'm an Investor Accountant at a mortgage lending firm. I HATE IT. It is too stressful. My dream job is to be the person who goes from company to company watering plants I don't have a green thumb but I think it will be be a stressful job. If I was independently wealthy or able to make ends meet without my current salary I would definently take a job less stressful even if it's not as prestigious sounding as what I do now. I always wanted to be a travel agent when I grew up because it seemed like you could travel all over the world; but I now know that it's not really as glamorous as it seems and I intensely dislike selling. I've always done the safe thing and stayed in my field but I would love to do something where I could make a difference in people's lives. Advocacy would be the field I would go into if I wasn't too poor and pressed for time to go back to school.

Am I the only one who doesn't think that it's a woman's "duty" to put up with any ole BS that some of these men dish out. Yes, I understand that it will take time and understanding for ALL to adjust and yes you have to choose your battles and not sweat the small stuff. The stress of being put into a totally different culture and away from family friends and familarity can cause anyone to get depressed, stressed and cause them to regress. However that doesn't mean that they should treat their women any old way and take out their frustrations on them and make life miserable for them. I don't go into any relationship thinking it's going to be easy; but I do expect to be treated respectfully and fairly. I've been in this relationship nearly 3 years and many, many times nearly ended it because of the cultural differences. I totally agree that if you have not lived 'the culture' that it will be extremely difficult at times and again I agree with Ann where she says it depends on what kind of economic and geographical area or situation they grew up in. Even though I truly love Tristan I may never get married because he knows 'I'm not having it' and he know's that I mean it. I don't think that women should allow themselves to be treated badly for the sake of having a man or putting up with anything beacause of fear of what others may say. I don't believe in coddling grown men. As I said before I may not be married and I may never get married again but one thing I will say is that I did it my way.

Next topic:

ANNA

How very exciting

[rhondapayter 0]

OK--here's one I used to get from my husband...

"Why yuh was' money on dis Kotex ting? Jus wash out yuh likkle cloths"

Nuff said.

Oh no he didn't go there Oh my gosh

[rhondapayter 0]

What do you do for a living? Do you like your job? Is it just a job or a stepping stone in your career? Are you what you wanted to be when you grew up? Do you have a dead end job (like mine)? Have you ever made a major career change? How did you go about doing that? Let's talk careers....

I'm a Production Supervisor at General Motors. No, I do not like my job at all I guess it could be a career IF I was interested in staying in Manufacturing which I'm not. I never really figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up I have not made a major career change even though I would like to. My job pays really well and has good benefits and I can't find anything that comes close salary wise. So I'm here for now

[rhondapayter 0]

He says I'm just not the same woman I used to be. He says I make everything a problem and "cause argument". I'm like of course I'm not the same woman - we are not on vacation in Jamaica anymore.

when we have an argument he's like "fine, I'll just do it your way - I won't say anythng else about it - I'm already on a pretty thin line here". I ask him what that means and he's like "if it dosen't work out, I go back to Jamaica." So what does this mean? Is he only here to live a better life? I wonder that. But in other situation's he has actually said he wants to go home.

Tony and I had some of these same issues when he first got here. I get really stressed out from work and I work tons of hours. So NO, I am definately not the happy, relaxed, no problem gal that I am when I'm on vacation in JA But he has changed too - he blames it on American culture saying that we're all too stressed out and worried all the time! Where he used to be so laid back, he has now adopted our "culture". I think he realized that you don't just come here and automatically get rich - you have to work your tail off.

He also used to constantly threaten to go back to JA. At least I took it as a "threat" at the time, but in hindsight realized that he was just being honest. If things didn't work out between us, he would definately return to JA. That's what he knows - that's where all his family and old friends are. And as far as him telling you he'll just "do it your way" that's his way of saying he doesn't want to argue about it anymore. From what I've seen, JA men HATE confrontation.

Hang in there. PM or e-mail me if you want. I called our wedding off 3 times in less than 60 days before we actually said our vows In less than 2 months we'll be celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary It gets better.

Edited October 7, 2006 by rhondapayter

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Hey Rhonda, hey Shemonya

Good morning.

[rhondapayter 0]

I read all these quotes about men that seem so wonderful. Frustrating sure - but in an endearing way. I don't hear anyone say they made a mistake or things are bad. So it makes me wonder if I am the only one who may have made a poor choice. Or may be handling things badly.... or whatever.

Me and Tony have been though some VERY rough times I know where you're coming from. We have had fights so bad he has literally packed up all his clothes and stuff and told me he's going back to JA on the next flight out. Thanks to Mindy, Joanna, and Jamie for getting me through some of the rough spots You girls are great and it's SO good to be able to talk to others who are going through a similar situation or at least know what you're talking about - dealing w/ JA men and the cultural differences and all that. Vent all you want to.

OKAY, I was PM'g someone........I thought............SO that's how MY DAY IS GOING !!!!!!!!!!!! I just aired out my s**t !!!!! I didn't mean to, but f** it.....that's what I did...............so..............if anyone wants to give me advice, please do !!!!! Cause I'm ready to commit myself !!!!!!!!!!!

This process, scenario or whatever......SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelly, don't worry about "airing your business". We've all been there before. Maybe it will help to talk about some of it. I know I have had my share of "issues" w/ my JA man. I've posted a lot of it on here, but there's also a lot I don't post - either way, I've always gotten great support from all you girls

I'm not thinking that this relationship is that much different from any that I have had with American men...they are all dogs too!

So true I've dated my share of *ssholes right here in the gold old usa Maybe that's why I figured I'd find a better one if I looked in another country

That's why I am willing to talk to newbies and share my experience....most of the time they don't want to hear it because there mates are perfect and would never hurt them. Some people don't like to hear negative things...for me I wanted to hear the good, bad, in and out of every detail.

Yes, this is so true A lot of women think that THEIR man is the exception, that THEY won't have any of these problems, because THEY communicate and talk about everything! Sorry, not true. You won't know til he gets here - that's the bottom line. My motto is, hope for the best but be prepared for the worst I never expected it to be easy and it wasn't / isn't.

[Shemmy 4]

Oh boy, OH BOY. You all know that I have to chime in on today's posts. I know some of you may be shaking your heads and saying oh no here she goes again .

Before I put my 2 cents in I want to ask Kim how her sister is doing and let Shauna know she's in my thoughts today as I know that she not only lost her beloved grandmother but also was deeply saddened by the sad and senseless deaths of the Amish girls.

Nowww....

To answer Ms. Squitto's question:

I'm an Investor Accountant at a mortgage lending firm. I HATE IT. It is too stressful. My dream job is to be the person who goes from company to company watering plants I don't have a green thumb but I think it will be be a stressful job. If I was independently wealthy or able to make ends meet without my current salary I would definently take a job less stressful even if it's not as prestigious sounding as what I do now. I always wanted to be a travel agent when I grew up because it seemed like you could travel all over the world; but I now know that it's not really as glamorous as it seems and I intensely dislike selling. I've always done the safe thing and stayed in my field but I would love to do something where I could make a difference in people's lives. Advocacy would be the field I would go into if I wasn't too poor and pressed for time to go back to school.

Am I the only one who doesn't think that it's a woman's "duty" to put up with any ole BS that some of these men dish out. Yes, I understand that it will take time and understanding for ALL to adjust and yes you have to choose your battles and not sweat the small stuff. The stress of being put into a totally different culture and away from family friends and familarity can cause anyone to get depressed, stressed and cause them to regress. However that doesn't mean that they should treat their women any old way and take out their frustrations on them and make life miserable for them. I don't go into any relationship thinking it's going to be easy; but I do expect to be treated respectfully and fairly. I've been in this relationship nearly 3 years and many, many times nearly ended it because of the cultural differences. I totally agree that if you have not lived 'the culture' that it will be extremely difficult at times and again I agree with Ann where she says it depends on what kind of economic and geographical area or situation they grew up in. Even though I truly love Tristan I may never get married because he knows 'I'm not having it' and he know's that I mean it. I don't think that women should allow themselves to be treated badly for the sake of having a man or putting up with anything beacause of fear of what others may say. I don't believe in coddling grown men. As I said before I may not be married and I may never get married again but one thing I will say is that I did it my way.

Next topic:

ANNA

How very exciting

Good morning family.

Michele. That's kinda what I was trying to say. Some women I met during this journey put up with some crazy mess...they feel bad because the men left JA. Well you can't use the cultural and adjustment excuses forever. I don't baby grown men either....I can't do so much for him. Damien knows my tolerance level and I know his as well. We have a much better understanding of each other now.

Hey Rhonda, hey Shemonya

Good morning.

Good morning. Enjoy your Saturday.

[luvtravlin 0]

Oh boy, OH BOY. You all know that I have to chime in on today's posts. I know some of you may be shaking your heads and saying oh no here she goes again .

Before I put my 2 cents in I want to ask Kim how her sister is doing and let Shauna know she's in my thoughts today as I know that she not only lost her beloved grandmother but also was deeply saddened by the sad and senseless deaths of the Amish girls.

Nowww....

To answer Ms. Squitto's question:

I'm an Investor Accountant at a mortgage lending firm. I HATE IT. It is too stressful. My dream job is to be the person who goes from company to company watering plants I don't have a green thumb but I think it will be be a stressful job. If I was independently wealthy or able to make ends meet without my current salary I would definently take a job less stressful even if it's not as prestigious sounding as what I do now. I always wanted to be a travel agent when I grew up because it seemed like you could travel all over the world; but I now know that it's not really as glamorous as it seems and I intensely dislike selling. I've always done the safe thing and stayed in my field but I would love to do something where I could make a difference in people's lives. Advocacy would be the field I would go into if I wasn't too poor and pressed for time to go back to school.

Am I the only one who doesn't think that it's a woman's "duty" to put up with any ole BS that some of these men dish out. Yes, I understand that it will take time and understanding for ALL to adjust and yes you have to choose your battles and not sweat the small stuff. The stress of being put into a totally different culture and away from family friends and familarity can cause anyone to get depressed, stressed and cause them to regress. However that doesn't mean that they should treat their women any old way and take out their frustrations on them and make life miserable for them. I don't go into any relationship thinking it's going to be easy; but I do expect to be treated respectfully and fairly. I've been in this relationship nearly 3 years and many, many times nearly ended it because of the cultural differences. I totally agree that if you have not lived 'the culture' that it will be extremely difficult at times and again I agree with Ann where she says it depends on what kind of economic and geographical area or situation they grew up in. Even though I truly love Tristan I may never get married because he knows 'I'm not having it' and he know's that I mean it. I don't think that women should allow themselves to be treated badly for the sake of having a man or putting up with anything beacause of fear of what others may say. I don't believe in coddling grown men. As I said before I may not be married and I may never get married again but one thing I will say is that I did it my way.

Next topic:

ANNA

How very exciting

Good morning family.

Michele. That's kinda what I was trying to say. Some women I met during this journey put up with some crazy mess...they feel bad because the men left JA. Well you can't use the cultural and adjustment excuses forever. I don't baby grown men either....I can't do so much for him. Damien knows my tolerance level and I know his as well. We have a much better understanding of each other now.

Hey Rhonda, hey Shemonya

Good morning.

Good morning. Enjoy your Saturday.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU you guys.....

I was (still am) very very frustrated !!!!! I went to my sons school yesterday to meet with the Vice P, the guidance counselor (that my son flippin thinks is HOT), the teacher he "disrespected" and then the Principal came in. It was a GREAT talk and my son feels ALOT better. Hearing from these other women that ARE married that ALL couples HAVE arguments and disagreements, helped my son realize "we" weren't the only ones. The guidance counselor is going to be a HUGE help with this transition!!! Then he showed me his interim report --it's before the actual report card comes out next month.(while we were ready to start the meeting) and it was actually pretty good. My son told everyone that "I" ride him, his coach rides him and then he wants it to be ONLY me and him. The guidance c say that we ALL want what is best for you Austin and when mommy or coach "rides" you, it's not that they are picking on you. I KNOW your mommy loves you, she's the only one that's been there for you. Then she asked ...do you want mommy to be happy ? and he said yes and she said that you know that mommy DESERVES to be happy and that when mommies are happy everyone is happy? and it made him think for a minute .....shoot like "I" haven't said that before!!!

I was really concerned because my son said last Monday, that he was going to die because he's so depressed and that maybe HE should kill himself !! I never told Craig....but I told him yesterday (after the meeting and we were alone running errands). I THINK that Craig is starting to realize (well, I HOPE so) that this is NOT just all about HIM !!!! Then we ran into the guidance c at Target and I introduced Craig .....he thinks she's cute too....dear lord !! but anyway, we had a really good night last night.

The soccer tournament was canceled this weekend THANK THE LORD ...and now we get to have "quality time" ...the 3 of us.

Dee, my sons father has never been in the picture, it's me and only me. My parents have NEVER supported me, they never ever babysit --don't offer, my dad MAY take my son out and go things with him once OR twice a year and they only live 6 miles from us !!! The last serious relationship I was in was almost 6 years ago and Austin really doesn't remember much of that (plus the guy wasn't around like Craig). I'm still ONLY friends with this guy, we all (me, Craig, the guy, and several others) hung out when Craig 1st got here.

Craig changed sooooooooooooooooooooooo much after his 3rd week here. He can be VERY selfish AND immature!! His mother wasn't in the picture growing up and his grandmother raised him. His mother came back into the picture about 4 yrs ago and he treats me like "I" am his mother.....and "I" do NOT take that...trust me. Craig doesn't take that "I" AM an independent woman and I have been on my own since I was 19. I'm street smart and I don't take #######, especially off of him and HE pushes it, using phrases like.......you're the woman that's why, I'm not doing that because that's YOUR job!!! So, dishes sit in the sink literally for 5 days or trash is piled up overflowing until one of the BOYS does it !!!! We had a GREAT system at first, he would do the dishes I would put them away, I would do the laundry and he would fold them.

I told Craig yesterday (in the car..........best talks are in the car, cause they can't RUN)........I said Craig, we ALL need to support each other doesn't matter HOW bad it gets !!! You can't keep running AND threatening you're going to leave. You HAVE to stick it out and work everything out.

I do pick and chose my battles, but when he has been working (since July 25th) and doesn't bother helping ON his own ...it's very veeeeeeeery frustrating. Doesn't "understand" WHY !!!! says HE doesn't have the money to help!! WHO KNOWS when we'll file the paperwork for AOS, because I told him "I" am NOT paying for it. I will put about $200 towards it and HE has to do the rest................THAT's when our battles start !!!!!!!!!!

When he was in Jamaica I only helped him on 2 occassions with money and he brings that up ALOT ....you never helped me, you let ME struggle, blah blah blah.....sometimes he now gets the jist of how "I" struggle, being a single parent and doing it ALL on my own!!!

Mindy, yes I truly do LOVE Craig, but I would be TOTALLY fine if he were to go. Our bad times far outweigh our good times !!!! I won't let him disrespect me over and over again and it's every other day !! I know that he loves me, truly loves me, but I can't STAND the fact that he lies to me. When he does he NEVER gets away with it, cause I always find out.

The other "issue" in our relationship has been what Craig calls a "friend". He continues to say that she's "a friend". She lives in Mississippi, she's an American black woman that he says (now) they met in Jamaica (before me). He's NEVER mentioned her before, she started calling on Sept 4th (he arrived here on June 22nd). His cousin lives in New York, came here on a K3....and is TOTALLY MISERABLE. His cousin has been a HUGE part of our problems because he's been feeding Craig's head with HIS horrible marriage. I mean this chic is MEAN!!!! I've spoken with him several times....but the cousin is friends with this other girls friend.....

This "B" has called our house several times at 12:45 AM, 1:43 AM and 7:30 AM and NEVER leaves a message !!!!!!!!!!! I called her 2 weekends ago and left her a message for her to call me, she goes and text messages Craigs phone 3 min later (which I had in my hand----he wasn't here). So I called her back (from the cell), she didn't answer, so I left another message for her to call me back on OUR home phone ....I was VERY nice about it!!! SHE NEVER EVER CALLED BACK. Friend............yeah, right !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep telling Craig she wants what I have and she's NOT going to get it !!!! and I'm not going to give her the satisfaction that it PISSES me off to no end. Craig doesn't know the actual times she's called because I've erased the number off caller ID and keep my phone ringer OFF!!! This week I just signed up for CALL Intercept and now she can NEVER call here and I blocked his cousins number for now !!!!!!!!!!! Craig knows HOW I feel about his whole BS....says he won't call her, but then on Thurs-this week she called him on the cell !!!!!!!!!!! He "says" that he told her they can't talk and to stop calling........I do NOT believe him. I asked him yesterday how many times did she call you today (yesterday) and he was like, I didn't talk to her......and I said, okay....can I check the phone? He was surprised that I asked......no calls.

If it's not one thing it's another. I've been to Jamaica a TRILLION times and "I" know the culture very very well. I have a ton of Jamaican friends and I've stayed at their houses (no running water, etc etc). That's not "our" issues at all. Craig has had his bags packed 3x. I just said to him last week.........are you going to unpack anytime soon????

Thanks for letting me vent AND your support !!! I appreciate you all "listening".

Have a great weekend everyone!

[BelwinMills 0]

Oh boy, OH BOY. You all know that I have to chime in on today's posts. I know some of you may be shaking your heads and saying oh no here she goes again .

Before I put my 2 cents in I want to ask Kim how her sister is doing and let Shauna know she's in my thoughts today as I know that she not only lost her beloved grandmother but also was deeply saddened by the sad and senseless deaths of the Amish girls.

Nowww....

To answer Ms. Squitto's question:

I'm an Investor Accountant at a mortgage lending firm. I HATE IT. It is too stressful. My dream job is to be the person who goes from company to company watering plants I don't have a green thumb but I think it will be be a stressful job. If I was independently wealthy or able to make ends meet without my current salary I would definently take a job less stressful even if it's not as prestigious sounding as what I do now. I always wanted to be a travel agent when I grew up because it seemed like you could travel all over the world; but I now know that it's not really as glamorous as it seems and I intensely dislike selling. I've always done the safe thing and stayed in my field but I would love to do something where I could make a difference in people's lives. Advocacy would be the field I would go into if I wasn't too poor and pressed for time to go back to school.

Am I the only one who doesn't think that it's a woman's "duty" to put up with any ole BS that some of these men dish out. Yes, I understand that it will take time and understanding for ALL to adjust and yes you have to choose your battles and not sweat the small stuff. The stress of being put into a totally different culture and away from family friends and familarity can cause anyone to get depressed, stressed and cause them to regress. However that doesn't mean that they should treat their women any old way and take out their frustrations on them and make life miserable for them. I don't go into any relationship thinking it's going to be easy; but I do expect to be treated respectfully and fairly. I've been in this relationship nearly 3 years and many, many times nearly ended it because of the cultural differences. I totally agree that if you have not lived 'the culture' that it will be extremely difficult at times and again I agree with Ann where she says it depends on what kind of economic and geographical area or situation they grew up in. Even though I truly love Tristan I may never get married because he knows 'I'm not having it' and he know's that I mean it. I don't think that women should allow themselves to be treated badly for the sake of having a man or putting up with anything beacause of fear of what others may say. I don't believe in coddling grown men. As I said before I may not be married and I may never get married again but one thing I will say is that I did it my way.

Next topic:

ANNA

How very exciting

Good morning family.

Michele. That's kinda what I was trying to say. Some women I met during this journey put up with some crazy mess...they feel bad because the men left JA. Well you can't use the cultural and adjustment excuses forever. I don't baby grown men either....I can't do so much for him. Damien knows my tolerance level and I know his as well. We have a much better understanding of each other now.

Hey Rhonda, hey Shemonya

Good morning.

Good morning. Enjoy your Saturday.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU you guys.....

I was (still am) very very frustrated !!!!! I went to my sons school yesterday to meet with the Vice P, the guidance counselor (that my son flippin thinks is HOT), the teacher he "disrespected" and then the Principal came in. It was a GREAT talk and my son feels ALOT better. Hearing from these other women that ARE married that ALL couples HAVE arguments and disagreements, helped my son realize "we" weren't the only ones. The guidance counselor is going to be a HUGE help with this transition!!! Then he showed me his interim report --it's before the actual report card comes out next month.(while we were ready to start the meeting) and it was actually pretty good. My son told everyone that "I" ride him, his coach rides him and then he wants it to be ONLY me and him. The guidance c say that we ALL want what is best for you Austin and when mommy or coach "rides" you, it's not that they are picking on you. I KNOW your mommy loves you, she's the only one that's been there for you. Then she asked ...do you want mommy to be happy ? and he said yes and she said that you know that mommy DESERVES to be happy and that when mommies are happy everyone is happy? and it made him think for a minute .....shoot like "I" haven't said that before!!!

I was really concerned because my son said last Monday, that he was going to die because he's so depressed and that maybe HE should kill himself !! I never told Craig....but I told him yesterday (after the meeting and we were alone running errands). I THINK that Craig is starting to realize (well, I HOPE so) that this is NOT just all about HIM !!!! Then we ran into the guidance c at Target and I introduced Craig .....he thinks she's cute too....dear lord !! but anyway, we had a really good night last night.

The soccer tournament was canceled this weekend THANK THE LORD ...and now we get to have "quality time" ...the 3 of us.

Dee, my sons father has never been in the picture, it's me and only me. My parents have NEVER supported me, they never ever babysit --don't offer, my dad MAY take my son out and go things with him once OR twice a year and they only live 6 miles from us !!! The last serious relationship I was in was almost 6 years ago and Austin really doesn't remember much of that (plus the guy wasn't around like Craig). I'm still ONLY friends with this guy, we all (me, Craig, the guy, and several others) hung out when Craig 1st got here.

Craig changed sooooooooooooooooooooooo much after his 3rd week here. He can be VERY selfish AND immature!! His mother wasn't in the picture growing up and his grandmother raised him. His mother came back into the picture about 4 yrs ago and he treats me like "I" am his mother.....and "I" do NOT take that...trust me. Craig doesn't take that "I" AM an independent woman and I have been on my own since I was 19. I'm street smart and I don't take #######, especially off of him and HE pushes it, using phrases like.......you're the woman that's why, I'm not doing that because that's YOUR job!!! So, dishes sit in the sink literally for 5 days or trash is piled up overflowing until one of the BOYS does it !!!! We had a GREAT system at first, he would do the dishes I would put them away, I would do the laundry and he would fold them.

I told Craig yesterday (in the car..........best talks are in the car, cause they can't RUN)........I said Craig, we ALL need to support each other doesn't matter HOW bad it gets !!! You can't keep running AND threatening you're going to leave. You HAVE to stick it out and work everything out.

I do pick and chose my battles, but when he has been working (since July 25th) and doesn't bother helping ON his own ...it's very veeeeeeeery frustrating. Doesn't "understand" WHY !!!! says HE doesn't have the money to help!! WHO KNOWS when we'll file the paperwork for AOS, because I told him "I" am NOT paying for it. I will put about $200 towards it and HE has to do the rest................THAT's when our battles start !!!!!!!!!!

When he was in Jamaica I only helped him on 2 occassions with money and he brings that up ALOT ....you never helped me, you let ME struggle, blah blah blah.....sometimes he now gets the jist of how "I" struggle, being a single parent and doing it ALL on my own!!!

Mindy, yes I truly do LOVE Craig, but I would be TOTALLY fine if he were to go. Our bad times far outweigh our good times !!!! I won't let him disrespect me over and over again and it's every other day !! I know that he loves me, truly loves me, but I can't STAND the fact that he lies to me. When he does he NEVER gets away with it, cause I always find out.

The other "issue" in our relationship has been what Craig calls a "friend". He continues to say that she's "a friend". She lives in Mississippi, she's an American black woman that he says (now) they met in Jamaica (before me). He's NEVER mentioned her before, she started calling on Sept 4th (he arrived here on June 22nd). His cousin lives in New York, came here on a K3....and is TOTALLY MISERABLE. His cousin has been a HUGE part of our problems because he's been feeding Craig's head with HIS horrible marriage. I mean this chic is MEAN!!!! I've spoken with him several times....but the cousin is friends with this other girls friend.....

This "B" has called our house several times at 12:45 AM, 1:43 AM and 7:30 AM and NEVER leaves a message !!!!!!!!!!! I called her 2 weekends ago and left her a message for her to call me, she goes and text messages Craigs phone 3 min later (which I had in my hand----he wasn't here). So I called her back (from the cell), she didn't answer, so I left another message for her to call me back on OUR home phone ....I was VERY nice about it!!! SHE NEVER EVER CALLED BACK. Friend............yeah, right !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep telling Craig she wants what I have and she's NOT going to get it !!!! and I'm not going to give her the satisfaction that it PISSES me off to no end. Craig doesn't know the actual times she's called because I've erased the number off caller ID and keep my phone ringer OFF!!! This week I just signed up for CALL Intercept and now she can NEVER call here and I blocked his cousins number for now !!!!!!!!!!! Craig knows HOW I feel about his whole BS....says he won't call her, but then on Thurs-this week she called him on the cell !!!!!!!!!!! He "says" that he told her they can't talk and to stop calling........I do NOT believe him. I asked him yesterday how many times did she call you today (yesterday) and he was like, I didn't talk to her......and I said, okay....can I check the phone? He was surprised that I asked......no calls.

If it's not one thing it's another. I've been to Jamaica a TRILLION times and "I" know the culture very very well. I have a ton of Jamaican friends and I've stayed at their houses (no running water, etc etc). That's not "our" issues at all. Craig has had his bags packed 3x. I just said to him last week.........are you going to unpack anytime soon????

Thanks for letting me vent AND your support !!! I appreciate you all "listening".

Have a great weekend everyone!

Sorry that all this is happening to you all I can do is pray that it gets better for you guys. I am not in this sistuation since my hubby is not hear yet. I hope all can be worked out for the best.

Peace and luv

Jax