Hell explained by a chemistry student

[keltic 1]

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a

University of Washington

chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the

professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,

which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of

enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or

endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs

using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats

when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is

changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which

souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they

are leaving. I think that we can safely as! sume that

once a

soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no

souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering

Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist

in the world today. Most of these religions state that

if you are not a member of their religion, you will go

to Hell. Since there is more than one of these

religions and since people do not belong to more than

one religion, we can project that all souls go to

Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can

expect the number of souls in Hell to increase

exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of

the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in

order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay

the same, the volume of Hell has to expand

proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate

at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and

pressure in Hell! will i ncrease until all Hell breaks

loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and

pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa

during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day

in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into

account the fact that I slept with her last night,

then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that

Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The

corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen

over, it follows that it is not accepting any more

souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only

Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine

being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept

shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

[pedroh 21]

[GaryC 7]

Very good!!!

[gimygirl 0]

[SmileyGuy 0]

[Mand 1]

That's a good one!

[almaty 19]

very good...

[Garfield fan 0]

That student really deserved an "A"

[pedroh 21]

PWNED!! OMGWTFBBQ

Edited July 20, 2006 by pedroh

[SmileyGuy 0]

PWNED!! OMGWTFBBQ

REPWNED!!!!one!11!!!!!1eleventy!11!!!1WTFBBQ11111111!

[gimygirl 0]

i can't bear to watch pedroh get pwnd!!! *covers eyes*

[Becky 0]

Love it! That's a classic.

[desert_fox 32]

That would mean that hell would have to be an adiabatic process with constant entropy. But since it is common knowledge that the entropy of the universe is increasing...then his original premise would be wrong.

[Anyta Holland 1]

Simply fantastic!

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

PWNED!! OMGWTFBBQ

zomg n00bsauce!