Walked out empty handed

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Beth, i'm kinda worried about his behavior towards you. When things begin to unravel, this is the

time to come together, not call another one names. It is not acceptable Beth no matter how one

thinks. You are a good woman. Be that woman Beth. If this process is going to turn him into an immature person, then what will happen when something else goes wrong he doesn't like?

I am really upset at what he did to you. Now he won't accept your calls, etc...hmmmm...

Seems like you didn't give him what he wanted and now you're gonna pay for it. Holy moly

Beth i'm so upset I could spit nails!

Go and have the best time of your life with you friends tonight. Drink what you want, dance

if you want, don't be there if he decides to call. I'm just appalled at his behavior. Yes you are

tired coz you put in many many hours of work and stress so HE can have things. I think he has

shown his ugly side and it's not good. I am just so very sorry what has happened.

Give yourself time to think very carefully at what your next steps will be. Don't make any

rash decisions.

We love you Beth....please remember that always.

What I do know, if your angry, and dont want to talk to the person who is calling and texting, and emailing, you just answer the phone, or text or email them and say "Dont want to talk now, need time" And also say I love you,

but you never shut out the one you love. That is what hurts the most.

[sara..... 371]

grrrrrrr men!!!!!!!!!! im sorry he is being such a baby.......you need to take care of you right now.... i of course can not say go out drinking or dancing ...........its a muslim thing u know ..............

but u do need to do something to just relax......its important to be able to just do something to forget this for a few hours or a day and be comfortable with those that ur with........stress from visa process can make u sick.........physically sick.....

your in my prayers ........

sara

[R and F 34]

We love you Beth and we are behind you 100 percent so be with your friends and relax for awhile tonight and all this weekend. You have done more than your share of work for him and for you now it is time to take it easy for awhile because like u say, this visa thing a ma gig will be here tomorrow but at least you are able to have some fun.

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Beth, i'm kinda worried about his behavior towards you. When things begin to unravel, this is the

time to come together, not call another one names. It is not acceptable Beth no matter how one

thinks. You are a good woman. Be that woman Beth. If this process is going to turn him into an immature person, then what will happen when something else goes wrong he doesn't like?

I am really upset at what he did to you. Now he won't accept your calls, etc...hmmmm...

Seems like you didn't give him what he wanted and now you're gonna pay for it. Holy moly

Beth i'm so upset I could spit nails!

Go and have the best time of your life with you friends tonight. Drink what you want, dance

if you want, don't be there if he decides to call. I'm just appalled at his behavior. Yes you are

tired coz you put in many many hours of work and stress so HE can have things. I think he has

shown his ugly side and it's not good. I am just so very sorry what has happened.

Give yourself time to think very carefully at what your next steps will be. Don't make any

rash decisions.

We love you Beth....please remember that always.

What I do know, if your angry, and dont want to talk to the person who is calling and texting, and emailing, you just answer the phone, or text or email them and say "Dont want to talk now, need time" And also say I love you,

but you never shut out the one you love. That is what hurts the most.

So right Beth. He doesn't need for you to hurt.

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

We love you Beth and we are behind you 100 percent so be with your friends and relax for awhile tonight and all this weekend. You have done more than your share of work for him and for you now it is time to take it easy for awhile because like u say, this visa thing a ma gig will be here tomorrow but at least you are able to have some fun.

I tried one last time, I emailed him, and texted him to check his email, no response, so I called, and he would not answer.

That is enough for today all the way around. Good night all, and thank you for the kind words.

Beth

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

We love you Beth and we are behind you 100 percent so be with your friends and relax for awhile tonight and all this weekend. You have done more than your share of work for him and for you now it is time to take it easy for awhile because like u say, this visa thing a ma gig will be here tomorrow but at least you are able to have some fun.

I tried one last time, I emailed him, and texted him to check his email, no response, so I called, and he would not answer.

That is enough for today all the way around. Good night all, and thank you for the kind words.

Beth

He just needs time to blow off steam and it's better not to provoke him now or his anger may get the best of him again and he could say worse. That still doesn't excuse his verbal abuse.

Take care sweetie!

[morocco4ever 63]

Only he can tell you why. Stop trying to call, stop e-mailing, it's making you look desperate. It's making him know he's winning the "game". Take time and relax but don't be alone 100% of the time. Have a gf come over and have some wine or a cocktail or two. Get your mind off of him and this process awhile.

I wish I could say I was perfect, but I have blasted my husband far to many times, as has he to me. We have both told each "it's over between us" many times out of anger, only to realize that we didn't mean it. He has blamed me at times for things I didn't do, only to have to come back later and apologize. Never respond to the heat of the moment. I always believe to give them space when they are wrong, and let them come to you and apologize. He was in the wrong, no doubt about it. But step back from the situation until you can see it from clear eyes.

Hang in there, and take care of your heart.

[Nothing1234 2]

Only he can tell you why. Stop trying to call, stop e-mailing, it's making you look desperate. It's making him know he's winning the "game". Take time and relax but don't be alone 100% of the time. Have a gf come over and have some wine or a cocktail or two. Get your mind off of him and this process awhile.

I wish I could say I was perfect, but I have blasted my husband far to many times, as has he to me. We have both told each "it's over between us" many times out of anger, only to realize that we didn't mean it. He has blamed me at times for things I didn't do, only to have to come back later and apologize. Never respond to the heat of the moment. I always believe to give them space when they are wrong, and let them come to you and apologize. He was in the wrong, no doubt about it. But step back from the situation until you can see it from clear eyes.

Hang in there, and take care of your heart.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Only he can tell you why. Stop trying to call, stop e-mailing, it's making you look desperate. It's making him know he's winning the "game". Take time and relax but don't be alone 100% of the time. Have a gf come over and have some wine or a cocktail or two. Get your mind off of him and this process awhile.

I wish I could say I was perfect, but I have blasted my husband far to many times, as has he to me. We have both told each "it's over between us" many times out of anger, only to realize that we didn't mean it. He has blamed me at times for things I didn't do, only to have to come back later and apologize. Never respond to the heat of the moment. I always believe to give them space when they are wrong, and let them come to you and apologize. He was in the wrong, no doubt about it. But step back from the situation until you can see it from clear eyes.

Hang in there, and take care of your heart.

Double

Like i said, when one is pizzed off, stressed out, stretched even.. we might say or do things we will later regret, or look back on saying "OMFG that was embarrassing/unladylike/offensive/stupid, etc"... so go out, have fun and take time off Beth.

Now, I don't know the whole story; but is hubby has always behaved like this, there are other issues you might want to address, once the eaters have calmed down.

[meowmeowmeow 1]

Only he can tell you why. Stop trying to call, stop e-mailing, it's making you look desperate. It's making him know he's winning the "game". Take time and relax but don't be alone 100% of the time. Have a gf come over and have some wine or a cocktail or two. Get your mind off of him and this process awhile.

i totally agree with this, and what others have said...you cant do anything else at this point. he needs to calm down and man up about stuff. we all know how hard things are when it comes to this process, and of course no one can know what you're going through right now...but i hope you go eat some tacos and have fun with your neighbors and just veg out this weekend, don't call him or contact him for a few days. see what happens...he should realize his stupidity and come crawling to you begging for forgiveness. however....his behavior is disturbing and i would be concerned as well.

[Minya's wife 25]

I think it comes down to choice of words. We have all been stressed, pissed off and have fought with the people we love...but I don't agree with using such foul language towards one's spouse....and to me no amount of stress or anger justifies it.

I'm also w/ the others who've questioned whether this pattern of behavior is out of the ordinary or the norm. If this is the former, then perhaps once things have calmed down, there will be an apology forthcoming for the harsh words. But, if this is the latter, then perhaps a second thought is merited. By all accounts, no matter how much AP and stress it entails, getting the visa is just one part of the 'journey'. There will be a whole new load of stress and difficulty once the immigrant is here. If the way one deals with such stresses is harsh and causes them to lash out against the loved one...that is not going away just because the visa has been granted.

[christeen 966]

Big Hugs to ya Beth.... Go be Beth for a night... Not "wife in charge of everything including husbands visa, support and ultimate provider of happiness"... Perhaps if you remember who "Beth" really is, you can better deal with whatever is coming your way!!!

I know that at the moment ya'll are angrier than a pair of wet hens, but take a weekend for ya both to cool off... He's a big boy, let'em find his own feet, you cant do everything for him... No sense talkin to him while he's still spitten nails.... I know I can be a hot-head and said some stuff over the last 6 years to my hubby, not that I'm condoning it... But like most hotheads, give him some time to cool his heels before addressing anything...

I'm here for ya!!! PM me if ya need!!!

[LOLAs 1]

good night beth, u should take that break. whatever it is i wan't you to know that you did your best, if u try anything more then you would go crazy for real. a devout muslim would not say those words to his wife, i hope he will live up to expectations as a muslim and apologize to you.

u have done your best and you should not feel bad for any of your actions be it gifts, trips or anything it is the normal thing to do in a marriage (i did those things too to some degree)- a lot of women do whether they say it or not. this delay is not your fault, it has nothing to do with your past nor with anything you say or did not say, even if you had, had AP for CR-1 it does not imply that the embassy will just approve, they might still do additional review based on their perception at the interview. he knows all these things in his mind (most third world citizens with consular experience knows this) and he will accept that with time. if anyone is to be blamed (though no one is to be blamed) then he should pay special attention to the questions asked during the interview and he should question himself and move closer to Allah so that he can overcome this. you have a large heart and i am guilty of that too and so is so many other people. let everything run its cause maybe it will resolve itself rather than you trying to fix it. in the end, "the best thing" will happen to you

We love you Beth and we are behind you 100 percent so be with your friends and relax for awhile tonight and all this weekend. You have done more than your share of work for him and for you now it is time to take it easy for awhile because like u say, this visa thing a ma gig will be here tomorrow but at least you are able to have some fun.

I tried one last time, I emailed him, and texted him to check his email, no response, so I called, and he would not answer.

That is enough for today all the way around. Good night all, and thank you for the kind words.

Beth

[chinese_mutt 11]

Sorry Paris. Take some time off... I certainly can't say I know how you feel coz we weren't put on sucky AP. But as somebody already said immigration is only the beginning, even if he gets his visa there will be so many frustrating moments once he is here. He will be better off if he finally finds ways to manage his expectations and how to deal with stressful situation now than when he is here and knows nobody.

God bless you and have a happy weekend. Give yourself a break this is not your fault at all.

[Mandy P 3]

We love you Beth and we are behind you 100 percent so be with your friends and relax for awhile tonight and all this weekend. You have done more than your share of work for him and for you now it is time to take it easy for awhile because like u say, this visa thing a ma gig will be here tomorrow but at least you are able to have some fun.

I tried one last time, I emailed him, and texted him to check his email, no response, so I called, and he would not answer.

That is enough for today all the way around. Good night all, and thank you for the kind words.

Beth

His behavior is not excusable but I know that I have said many things in anger to people I loved and regretted it later. He is probably mad at the situation but you can't really curse at a situation and get a reaction. If this is not his normal behavior then he may be very sorry for it later. I hope so.

Ghani has trouble finding work too. But he does what he can when he can and he keeps his own head above water. I don't send him money and he doesn't ask for it. He knows if he needed anything I would help him but I don't think establishing a monetary hand out system is the healthiest thing in any situation. He always says that he knows if he needs anything I would help him and that knowing that I'd do it is more help to him than me actually sending something.

Don't let him get away with placing blame. Even Ghani himself talks about how people from his region of the world don't take responsibility for themselves. He is quick to say that his situation there sucks because he can't find work but that it is his own fault that he is there in that situation. No one forced him to be there and no one forced him to choose to want to be with me (which kept him for probably meeting a French girl and being legal there already).

It's the same for your husband. No one forced him to choose you. He chose you because he felt something for you and he made the decision to follow that feeling. He knew the road to a visa was long and hard, even without your other problems. But you have stood by him, when you were the one who didn't need help.

He needs a long hard look in the mirror and maybe a reminder that you don't HAVE to be there for him. You CHOOSE to be there.