How do people do it?

[clueless_in_usa 8]

So, my fiancee is in the USA with me and we have been trying to plan a wedding within the time constraints given to us by the US government. Unfortunately every priest we call says that he cannot perform a wedding unless we have six months to prepare. Anything less than six months and nobody will do it.

How do other people make it happen?

Worse yet, when I say that my fiancee is Christian Orthodox, all doors get closed. I do not want a wedding just in a courthouse. I want her to have the full experience, including the white dress. We already invited our most important people around, but it seems that they will be disappointed.

How do people do it? Is it possible to plan a real wedding in the USA in less than a month, but not in Las Vegas?

Why do they have this six-month rule? Why so annoying?

Thanks!

[eekee 182]

Maybe do a courthouse ceremony to comply with the restraints, and then a church ceremony later?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

So, my fiancee is in the USA with me and we have been trying to plan a wedding within the time constraints given to us by the US government. Unfortunately every priest we call says that he cannot perform a wedding unless we have six months to prepare. Anything less than six months and nobody will do it.

How do other people make it happen?

Worse yet, when I say that my fiancee is Christian Orthodox, all doors get closed. I do not want a wedding just in a courthouse. I want her to have the full experience, including the white dress. We already invited our most important people around, but it seems that they will be disappointed.

How do people do it? Is it possible to plan a real wedding in the USA in less than a month, but not in Las Vegas?

Why do they have this six-month rule? Why so annoying?

Thanks!

Most don't. It is a fool's errand to make any plans with a visa pending, there are way too many uncontrollable delays.

Most have a civil ceremony with a JP or at a courthouse and then plan a larger ceremony later. The civil wedding is perfectly legal for the AOS. We were married on the front lawn by our neighbor, a JP.

FYI...teh "6 month rule" applies to when she must enter the USA from the time the visa is issued. You must get married within THREE MONTHS of when she arrves. You always had the option of a full blown Orthodox wedding in Russia, where they don't cloes doors on Orthodox Christians, and then file for the CR-1. Married within three months is the rule for the K-1, if it annoys you, choose one of the other options.

Edited November 3, 2009 by Gary and Alla

[eekee 182]

Also if you want an Orthodox wedding, go to an Orthodox church. Of course a Catholic or Protestant priest can't do an Orthodox ceremony.

[baron555 934]

It will be the courthouse for us.

[Scott and Iryna 2]

Yes, as everybody is saying, do the courthouse.

Then, after she has her 2-year Green Card, you can "Honeymoon" in Russia, and have a full ceremony in her church, with her family and friends.

[mox 298]

Nothing that says you can't have a "white dress" wedding in a court house. Unless your invitation list is really big, you can have the bride in a white dress, grooms men, brides maids, the whole shootin' match, right inside the court room. Just give the court house a call and they'll tell you how many people can be reasonably accommodated.

[sara..... 371]

Nothing that says you can't have a "white dress" wedding in a court house. Unless your invitation list is really big, you can have the bride in a white dress, grooms men, brides maids, the whole shootin' match, right inside the court room. Just give the court house a call and they'll tell you how many people can be reasonably accommodated.

also justice of the peace will come to ur home or where ever just make the time and date....its a little more personal that way than a court house.......

[groovlstk 0]

My wife and I married in Las Vegas two months after her arrival, and then we had a more formal celebration for our family and friends four months later. I'm glad we took this approach since her family and some friends wanted to join us and needed to make arrangements and apply for visas, plus it just made things less frantic.

The place we used in Vegas was called A Hollywood Wedding Chapel. We didn't scout it out first and when we arrived we found a musty office carpeted with astroturf. The only "Hollywood" reference in the office was a poster of that crappy movie K-PAX on one wall. One of the couples waiting their turn were drunk as skunks, and we've speculated about what happened when they sobered up more than once The minister speed-read a cheezy sermon he's probably done 2000 times and then gave us the "here's your hat, what's your hurry?" routine. And despite all this, or maybe because of it, it was the most romantic and wonderful thing in the world

[Mo_Mati 2]

The 6 month rule exists in the Catholic Church. We began talking to the priest months before the interview, let him know of our situation, and began all the paperwork to comply with that rule before my then fiance made it to the US. We were able to be married within 2 months at the church (no courthouse ceremony).

good luck with your journey

[BluesTraveler 0]

So, my fiancee is in the USA with me and we have been trying to plan a wedding within the time constraints given to us by the US government. Unfortunately every priest we call says that he cannot perform a wedding unless we have six months to prepare. Anything less than six months and nobody will do it.

The best option is to do a paperwork marriage, then have the real wedding later. Marriage is paperwork, wedding is church, reception, family and friends.

The Catholic Church can bend the 6 month rule if you explain to them the situation and have an understanding priest. Although you will have to do the engagement encounter weekend deal.

[mox 298]

My first marriage was a Catholic wedding, and the priest did bend the rules for us and allowed us to marry after only 2 months. We had a good reason though, I was set to deploy shortly after we were married. But it did help that the priest was also a relative of hers.

My suggestion would be that if you don't mind only doing a civil ceremony, try to do just the one wedding. That way you don't spend the rest of your life with having 2 anniversary dates. As someone else noted, you can get a judge to go to your house or a reception hall or wherever to do the thing. Heck, in some states you don't even need a judge, you just need to sign the paper and mail it to the county clerk. And none of this precludes the bride wearing white and looking beautiful.

[Chris_Жанна 11]

we decided on a civil wedding and then when we can save some money up and try to get fam and friends to come in a few months to do a religious type ceremony. Try to find a non-denominational minister.

I'm Catholic and would like to have a Catholic wedding, and Zhanna is Orthodox and would like to have an Orthodox wedding. We both loose!!! haha Honestly we will be happy just to be married however you slice it. I just want this day to be special for Zhanna. If she's happy I'm happy. Fortunately for me she's easy going with all this wedding stuff.

It's all about the reception anyway. Open bar anyone?????

[LvivLovers 39]

we decided on a civil wedding and then when we can save some money up and try to get fam and friends to come in a few months to do a religious type ceremony. Try to find a non-denominational minister.

I'm Catholic and would like to have a Catholic wedding, and Zhanna is Orthodox and would like to have an Orthodox wedding. We both loose!!! haha Honestly we will be happy just to be married however you slice it. I just want this day to be special for Zhanna. If she's happy I'm happy. Fortunately for me she's easy going with all this wedding stuff.

It's all about the reception anyway. Open bar anyone?????

Why can't they all get along?!?! My wife and I don't really care about all the minor details. When she was in Lviv she actually would go to Catholic and Orthodox churches and as far as she was concerned they were basically the same. We were married in a Catholic church, but when she came to Atlanta we started going to a Russian Orthodox church. She loved it, because it was very similar to her churches in Ukraine. However, when she went to confession the first time, the Orthodox priest found out we were married in a Catholic church and thus deemed us Catholic (which he informed us aren't even Christians as far as Orthodox people are concerned) and was unable to hear her confession. We were still welcomed to attend but aren't full members of the church unless we decide to convert at some point. I personally don't get what the big deal is...they seem pretty much the same to me, but I'm sure to others it's of critical importance.

[eekee 182]

we decided on a civil wedding and then when we can save some money up and try to get fam and friends to come in a few months to do a religious type ceremony. Try to find a non-denominational minister.

I'm Catholic and would like to have a Catholic wedding, and Zhanna is Orthodox and would like to have an Orthodox wedding. We both loose!!! haha Honestly we will be happy just to be married however you slice it. I just want this day to be special for Zhanna. If she's happy I'm happy. Fortunately for me she's easy going with all this wedding stuff.

It's all about the reception anyway. Open bar anyone?????

Why can't they all get along?!?! My wife and I don't really care about all the minor details. When she was in Lviv she actually would go to Catholic and Orthodox churches and as far as she was concerned they were basically the same. We were married in a Catholic church, but when she came to Atlanta we started going to a Russian Orthodox church. She loved it, because it was very similar to her churches in Ukraine. However, when she went to confession the first time, the Orthodox priest found out we were married in a Catholic church and thus deemed us Catholic (which he informed us aren't even Christians as far as Orthodox people are concerned) and was unable to hear her confession. We were still welcomed to attend but aren't full members of the church unless we decide to convert at some point. I personally don't get what the big deal is...they seem pretty much the same to me, but I'm sure to others it's of critical importance.

They are not the same. Sure, they're more similar to each other than they are to the various protestant denominations, but they have very different approaches and a different bible and so on. Catholicism emphasizes knowledge/learning where Orthodoxy emphasis ritual/mysticism.

FWIW, I was raised Orthodox and would rather have a ceremony with no religion at all than a Catholic ceremony.

Edited November 4, 2009 by eekee