Got my ticket!

[Kailey 3]

Sigh.. As for 'cameras are too kind to her ' - I know you guys like those professional photos that women place on those dating sites but remember, Photoshop is not a plastic surgery . And if a 40 year woman looks like 20 and she is not an elf nor a vampire, than you surely be surprised when you see her ‘live’ .

If you care for advice - look less on professional photos and more on 'handmade' .

If you try it again look for women from big cities, somebody who works, has a career, good education and been abroad. Last fact actually guarantees she is not that brainwashed by local propaganda and can judge about life 'here' and 'there' not based on local propaganda but based on what she saw with her own eyes.

And I will say it simple again: If a woman who has never seen you before agrees for a) a month-long visit B) to accomodate you in her appartment from the very beginning - that's a big red flag about her common sense.

+ You compared Ukraine to Poland, but Poland was not part of the Soviet Union. So even rare tourists from the USSR who happened to go there were surprised how “western” and “capitalist” Poland was. Same was said about other countries that formed a so called ‘socialist belt’ (Poland, Chekhoslovkaiya, Bulgaria, Hungary, Eastern Germany, etc). Ukraine was one of the 15 republics of the Soviet Union – very different situation. So Rule # 1 – all ex-commies are different

Clueless, I think i’m becoming very itchy since few years when i hear the word “tolerant’’ … it was a good kind word in the past.. but it has lost a lot of its meaning over the years. And now is too often used as a blindfold to not see things that should be changed and not tolerated..

Be tolerant to a different confession or color of the skin . Broken pavement – is simply BAD .

[clueless_in_usa 8]

If you try it again look for women from big cities, somebody who works, has a career, good education and been abroad. Last fact actually guarantees she is not that brainwashed by local propaganda and can judge about life 'here' and 'there' not based on local propaganda but based on what she saw with her own eyes.

Clueless, I think i’m becoming very itchy since few years when i hear the word “tolerant’’ … it was a good kind word in the past.. but it has lost a lot of its meaning over the years. And now is too often used as a blindfold to not see things that should be changed and not tolerated..

Be tolerant to a different confession or color of the skin . Broken pavement – is simply BAD .

I guess that I made abig mistake, because ...

... my, now, wife comes from a small city in Siberia and worse yet, she had never even been on an airplane, let alone abroad. But she surely is not brainwashed by local propaganda. If anything, she is required to honor Russia as the best and only country that matters in the world

And about tolerant ... what other word could I have used without personally attacking the OP?

[eekee 182]

Being brainwashed by local propaganda would mean exactly that--thinking that Russia is good and America is evil and Russians are unhappy outside of Russia and if you have a kid with a foreign man you'll end up divorced and you won't be allowed to see the child and so on.

[Gone To Texas 0]

Being brainwashed by local propaganda would mean exactly that--thinking that Russia is good and America is evil and Russians are unhappy outside of Russia and if you have a kid with a foreign man you'll end up divorced and you won't be allowed to see the child and so on.

I don't think I would want a fiance' that could or would be brainwashed into believing any false ideal. Meanwhile, I also really don't think that it matters where either member of the relationship is from, whether from a major metropolitan city or the country, or somewhere in between. The only important thing is that they are happy together, and that if there are any transitions or adjustments that would be needed, that both had discussed it and were firmly aware of the differences in lifestyle well before becoming engaged or committing to make a life together.

It still all boils down to finding the right one for you, who also happens to think that you are the right one for her. Beyond that, everything should be based on mutual love, trust and the ability to work through difficulties together. It is probably more important that you both trust each other beyond even simple doubt, that you love each other completely, and would do anything for the other. You should also be proud to be with her in public, and likewise for her.

As for this situation, Jake, yes, I imagine that it is a bit of a letdown, but I think we all go into this hoping that we have that "first meeting" that there is this magical chemistry that half the websites talk about. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. The same holds true here in the U.S. with men and women in relationships.

I know you might not agree, but look at it this way. You spent about what?...$2,500 for a trip that took you to another continent, where you got the opportunity to experience a completely new culture. You had company...well, for the most part...whilst you were there and have a few good stories to tell. You were in the Navy, so you probably remember that thrill of traveling to new countries. Just checkmark the Ukraine as another cool country that you have visited during your lifetime. I wouldn't sweat this relationship too much, and would move on to something better taking what you've learned so that you can make a more educated choice next time around.

As for trying it all again. I imagine that we have all had relationships, both foreign and domestic, that didn't work out, but because we are all on here, apparently we didn't give up. You shouldn't either. I don't know your health problem, and it is none of my business, and I hope that you will be alright, but don't give up.

When you consider whether to try again, look at it as a fishing trip.....you have a choice. You can go out to your backyard pond, maybe travel up the road to a nearby lake, or give it one more chance on a deep sea fishing expedition. You decide. (And I imagine I might get jumped on for this comparison....but it makes a little sense.)

Good luck.....and to input what was placed in the first part of the thread, I had no problems using my own banking institution's debit/atm card. (It does have that Visa logo on it, so that might be why...it's a check card)...but no problem at all. I did let my bank know the dates I would be out of the United States, so that they could ensure there were no blocks on the account when transactions came through, and also ensured that it was "reblocked" to prevent any unauthorized transactions from overseas after I had returned. Hope this helps.

Mark

[ZorValachan 0]

I won't add to the first part good/bad or how I saw things when I was in Eastern Europe.

But I did want to add about the money thing. I simply sent money through money gram. I left my credit/check cards at home. I took about $200 in cash and then sent the rest via Moneygram. Sending to yourself is permitted, so if you don't fully trust whoever you are going to see, you don't have to, just put yourself as the receiver. And if for whatever reason, you don't need it, it's in your name, so you can pick it up when you get back home.

[Brad and Vika 129]

I won't add to the first part good/bad or how I saw things when I was in Eastern Europe.

But I did want to add about the money thing. I simply sent money through money gram. I left my credit/check cards at home. I took about $200 in cash and then sent the rest via Moneygram. Sending to yourself is permitted, so if you don't fully trust whoever you are going to see, you don't have to, just put yourself as the receiver. And if for whatever reason, you don't need it, it's in your name, so you can pick it up when you get back home.

I have taken cash, credit cards, debit cards, etc. and used them all - all over Eastern Europe. I have never thought about sending the money to myself with MoneyGram though - that is a great idea! We use that service when we want to send dollars to Ukraine for anything, and it works well all over the country. Thanks

[slim 1,525]

Man, that is a good idea. Why didn't I think of that?