Cheating Husband

[Scott and Mhay 57]

Well you guys have me thinking....I'm not so sure he can claim with dependent rate BAH without his spouse being in the country...but then i may be thinking of with dependent rate COLA (cost of living adjustment). He could possibly get kicked out if he claimed something and didnt support his wife. Maybe that mistress he got pregnant was actually his wife in the US?? there is a lot not known here about this.

I will know more about having a spouse living in a different country and collecting BAH. Athough it wont matter much for me right away since I already claim with dependent rate for housing because of my daughter...she still lives in the area. I wasnt able to update my file with the military for my marriage because i got married before i left for kuwait and didnt have the marriage certificate yet. (dont worry I am supporting her though) I will be going to get that put in right away when i get back. I think the US embassy in manila can issue an ID card (at least they had a DEERS terminal there). I will be trying to get my wife her ID card if i can when i am back there in february.

It is such shame that someone could be that cruel. Hmm this story reminds me about another one similar with a girl i knew. They got married in the PI and he was in the military too. He wasnt sending support to her. I offered to look up his 1st Shirt and Commander for her to go after him. I dont know what ever happened to her though. I know she went to korea to work though.

[tallcoolone 102]

First I will say im so sorry he did this, second I will say MEN REALLY SUCK SOMETIMES!!! ugh!

From your post, Sounds like you have Issues to deal with

So Sorry, See Ya, Don't Wanna Be You..............

[ms_jinga_lala 0]

Sorry, it's getting late where I am and I didn't have time to read all the replies so if someone else has already said this, then I apologize. As a former military spouse of 14 years -

- the money he gets for being married is not here money, it's his because it's paid to him to afford the house and all the #######

- if the marriage isn't recognized by the US government, he couldn't claim those benefits. He has to prove the marriage is real

- she can have him disciplined under the UCMJ for infidelity - yes it is still against their laws and he is sworn to those laws as well

- she can get a military id if she can prove she is who she says she is, but unfortunately he will have to help her and it doesn't sound like he will

For her questions

1. - she is still an immigrant, the same visa regulations/laws apply to her so she does need all that stuff to get here and get any benefits from the military because he isn't stationed abroad to help her do it through the consulate

2. - yes if she saw his paystub and it said he was receiving BAS, BAH, etc then she is....she should also check it to see if he's paying for family medical benefits because if he's not she doesn't rate Tricare so it would be a waste of her time to try and get it because I doubt he would add her and start paying now (on a more vindictive note, if he is....she can so drag out this divorce and screw his #### hard like he deserves....sorry...that was my bitterness coming out lol

3. - separation pay is paid to him yet again, not to her, it's meant to alleviate the extra burden of childcare costs, etc when a military member is gone, he still has full control over it and she doesn't rate it just because he is alloted that money

4. - I don't know....still kinda new to this visa thing myself

[rlogan 2,036]

3. And since I'm already here, and wasted much time and effort on this crappy marriage which I thought is my HAPPY EVER AFTER, and I'm not really ready to go home in the Philippines after all these mess, I would like to start my new life here. How can I Lift my conditions, coz i will just be here for 2 years, and I should lift my conditions with my husband. I heard of WAIVERS, btu I don't know how that thing goes.

I know he wanted divorce quick, coz he knows that having a babies and Hospital Bills are far expensiveif you don't have any medical benefits, and since he was not married to his mistress, his mistress and his babies can't get any insurance.

4. Can I lift my conditions alone? I never lived with him since I was here in the US. I don't have any proofs that we have joint accounts? So i don't know if the waiver will be approved?

Just wow, with the story. Nobody can put themselves in your shoes but it seems to me the first thing is to just end the marriage and get your independent life going. However cruel life can be you just do the best you can from where you are.

I don't know the CR-1, but on the K-1 you just have to prove you entered the marriage in good faith, and can do that on your own. Whatever the CR-1 conditions are, you'll have to meet them. Read tje instructions on the Adjustment of Status Application. But personally I would just be getting as far away as fast as possible from marriage to the guy.

[Ginger cat 3]

Something's just off here. The OP came to the US on a CR-1 visa, has a failed marriage...came to the US alone, did not to live with her husband, and now is concerned with receiving benefits due to her as an Army Wife of a deployed solider? I'm sorry, but this seems a little far-fetched and it does not seem like she has any proof to submit for removal of conditions. There was never a real marriage. She has never co-habited w/ her husband, filed taxes together or had joint accounts. There's no documentation which she could present to prove that the marriage was real while it lasted. The problems in the marriage came to light while she was still in the PI. Why come to the US at all? And now that she is here, and cannot reconcile with her husband....why not divorce and be done with it?

I think that her husband just got married with her, to have more money....without telling his wife.

I am sorry that guy has to learn the lesson the hard way.

you dont marry a girl from the thrid world like you go and buy a baguette and you dont go and make yoru pencil all wet into another apricot and plant yoru seeds without facing the consequences.

you dont get married and get another woman pregnant and then say its the married Filipena girl that is searching for benefits...

I am 3000% with her. he has to pay back in any ways possible for the damages he has caused.

and what she is going to receive as any advantages is normal and to pay her back from the moral damages she had from him...

we call that justice.

WHAT A F****G B****S

[sachinky 465]

Military-wise, I don't know so I won't comment.

Immigration-wise: You're gonna have a hard time lifting conditions ON YOUR OWN without any sort of proof. I mean you haven't lived together post-marriage, have you? Doesn't even sound like you spent a lot of time together in person if you got married on your first real meeting. No joint accounts, co-mingling of financial resources, no apartment lease etc? USCIS will want hard proof and it doesn't sound like there is any indication that this marriage was a "real" marriage. Consult with an attorney because even though the husband sounds like a jerk, I don't see what you can really do in this situation.

Good luck to you.

Edited November 18, 2009 by sachinky

[Gordito and Me 2]

It is possible to file an I-751 petition to remove conditional residence without both spouses, but you need to get a waiver of your spouse's signature. You need to show that you entered the marriage in good faith and that the marriage did not work out.

This is a complex situation and is one for which a local lawyer, familiar with the requirements, can add value.

The timing of the divorce, if any, is sometimes a tricky consideration in these cases, and so you definitely want to consult a lawyer in your area about this. There are actually instances where it is better to be divorced prior to filing the I-751, rather than separated, or in the process of being divorced. But again, you should seek qualified legal counsel on these issues.

You can read Form I-751's instructions, including a brief discussion of the waiver concept, here:

http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/I-751instr.pdf

[marklovetina 52]

I am sorry that things like this happened to your friend. I am also married to US Army too, and we also got married at the first time we met. But my situation is far different from her (thanks to God). For all the visa processing payment, plane tickets, etc my husband paid for it.

I would like to share some information too about being military spouse. Yes, you will get all the benefits, especially when your spouse is being deployed to combat zone. Your spouse should get BAH, separation payment, etc. But before you get all that your spouse should have registered you in the Army first. There are some paperworks you should do to proof that you are his wife and you become his dependent. Without it you will get NOTHING.

Even you got married in foreign country you still can get your military ID.

As for the lifting condition, I am not sure how to advise you as I don't really know about it.

Again, I am sorry for your friend.

uhmm this is what honey told me too.. and he told me one time if a couple divorce and the X-wife didn't marry again she can still ask for support to the X husband...

[Gumbolette 58]

Something's just off here. The OP came to the US on a CR-1 visa, has a failed marriage...came to the US alone, did not to live with her husband, and now is concerned with receiving benefits due to her as an Army Wife of a deployed solider? I'm sorry, but this seems a little far-fetched and it does not seem like she has any proof to submit for removal of conditions. There was never a real marriage. She has never co-habited w/ her husband, filed taxes together or had joint accounts. There's no documentation which she could present to prove that the marriage was real while it lasted. The problems in the marriage came to light while she was still in the PI. Why come to the US at all? And now that she is here, and cannot reconcile with her husband....why not divorce and be done with it?

I don't see why you have to be hoarse.

This girl's life was messed up by someone whom she has never expected to do this such horrible thing. First of all, she is married to her husband. And its just right to exercise her rights as a wife. She has the right to come to the United States since her husband is here. Yes, there was never a real marriage however, if she comes and do the RIGHT THING, things can be different.

There are some women whom are not that brave enough to come out of their shell and teach these morons to be a real MAN. You just don't go to the a foreign country, marry someone and be left out out-there, be cheated, and never consider her well being. The guy can't even weigh his thoughts on how to deal with his shortcomings. ( if there will be a miscarriage, we'll not divorce, if there will be babies, we can't have a divorce..) #######?

To the girl, be ready to be in such hardship in this battle. To be honest, you have a weak case. BUT, pursue talking to a military high rank person. Your husband can be charge for CONDUCT ON UNBECOMING and he will be 1 second away from being kicked out of the service, and you can even charge him with adultery, since he is not cohabiting with the mistress.

I am just bewildered why until now there is nothing being done in his case.

And also, talk to a civil lawyer that can help you shed some light out of this tunnel.

Good luck!

[Ban Hammer 13,443]

old thread, yes, i know....however:

I don't see why you have to be hoarse.

This girl's life was messed up by someone whom she has never expected to do this such horrible thing. First of all, she is married to her husband. And its just right to exercise her rights as a wife. She has the right to come to the United States since her husband is here. Yes, there was never a real marriage however, if she comes and do the RIGHT THING, things can be different.

There are some women whom are not that brave enough to come out of their shell and teach these morons to be a real MAN. You just don't go to the a foreign country, marry someone and be left out out-there, be cheated, and never consider her well being. The guy can't even weigh his thoughts on how to deal with his shortcomings. ( if there will be a miscarriage, we'll not divorce, if there will be babies, we can't have a divorce..) #######?

To the girl, be ready to be in such hardship in this battle. To be honest, you have a weak case. BUT, pursue talking to a military high rank person. Your husband can be charge for CONDUCT ON UNBECOMING and he will be 1 second away from being kicked out of the service, and you can even charge him with adultery, since he is not cohabiting with the mistress.

I am just bewildered why until now there is nothing being done in his case.

And also, talk to a civil lawyer that can help you shed some light out of this tunnel.

Good luck!

conduct unbecoming? "Article 133—Conduct unbecoming an officer and gentleman" - i see nothing indicating the rank of the individual involved and the article only applies to commissioned officers, cadets, and midshipmen - not enlisted.

while he can be charged with adultry, article 134, good luck with that one - it's not often prosecuted.