Cheating Husband

[ghomnet 1]

Number 1 go home, you sound like you are well off in the ph, so go home it's not worth the fight. find out how much it will cost to anulle the marriage. Keep in my mind you wanted to accept him after he had a baby with someone else you accept him to go to her house over night what did you think would happen when he is there. By you accepting that may have made him feel you don't care for him but only for the papers. Military guys get married all the time to get more money. There are many benefits for wives, schooling, insurance if he dies, and money when he is away. but if you are not married her here or he does not fill out the appropriate document to say you are his wife. then it is useless. You can higher a lawyer but it might be a waste. You sound like a beautiful smart filipina so be proud and go home. Don't give him a divorce just go.

JUST FORWARDING A MESSAGE I READ, I REALLY WANT TO HELP HER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.

Hi!

I am just new in this forum/site. I would like to ask for an advice on what to do. I apologize if my post is really long, I just want to you to know every details. And I'm sorry if I'm venting with you guys, I just want to be cleared on things before I go to look for a lawyer.

I am a native of the Philippines, I met my husband (27yrs old -Hubby, 29 years old-Me) last February 2008 online while he was deployed in Afghanistan and after a month of chatting, calling, texting each other we decide to become a couple, we had a happy relationship, thou we can't prevent misunderstandi ng.

By July we decided we want to be together, and he wanted to get married on September 2008, it was our first time to meet in person too.(which i know the stupidiest thing I did for LOVE) And September arrived, He arrived and we got married in the Philippines.

December came and he went back to the states and was based on Fort Campbell,KY.

February 2009, we applied for CR1 Visa (Conditional Visa) and after my visa application was approved 1st week of August, I got a YM Message from him that he got another Filipina woman pregnant in the Unites States, and its already on her 2nd month. That very same they a girl who i dont know added me on MySpace, and I told him about it, and told me that it was the woman (mistress) The Filipina is from Nashville, 31 years old and with one son,and knows that my husband is married. My WORLD is so crashed, couldn't work, eat...alll those stuff. And because I love him so much I forgive him and told him that I will accept the babies (Yes, its TWINS!) and I agree of him visiting them weekly or staying with the his babies and his mistress overnight every week, but his mistress don't want that, she wanted him to divorce me and be wiht them permanently, and after 2 days he changed his mind and that he wanted a divorce,which I can't understand why?!! It seems that I'm the mistress here and im the one begging him for time and not leave me...and then changed his mind again that he doesn't want to lose me...and then change again ....he's been changing minds for a week or 2. The last option he wants is "IF there will be NO Babies (miscarriage) He will still stay with me, but if there will be babies, he would divorce me" what's up with that huh?!am I a spare tire for him to this to me?

And now he's been accusing me of cheating on him, coz a man from the Philippines called him and told him that he's in love with his wife (which is obviously me) he gave me the number and I was calling it, but it was not working. He doesn't have any proof of me cheating on him,he even emailed my mom that we both sinned against each other, and the reason he cheated on me its because I always assume that he was cheating on me, that's why he did it. (what a valid reason!!!)

And as for the Visa Process, I paid half of the Visa, since he always tells me that he is always broke, and couldn't find money to pay the remaining fees. I paid for my medical, and my plane ticket. And he don'thave any idea that I pursue the Visa by myself.

And now, I am already in the United States. And he keeps telling me that I only use him to become a US Citizen and that I just want his money and all those stuff! Oh come on! I would'nt be spending like $1,500 if I just want his money and the Citizenship. I went here to play a FAIR GAME, because I know he won't go visit me to the Philippines and talk,so I decided to come here and know my rights.

I already emailed his commanding officer right after he told me that he got a woman pregnant. He was so pissed of and calling me names. I got a reply from the CO that she will talk wiht my husband and just update me. its been 2months and no updated, so I called the legal office on what can I do? my rights, my benefits and everything as a wife of an army.

FYI, before we got married, we decided that I will stop working and he will just give me a monthly allowance of $200. The allowance stop by February 2009, and becausehe gets mad whenever I ask for money, I decided to find a job to support myself. All this time I don't know anything about Military Benefits. It was just my Army Wife friends who are just telling me about all those things. I don't know about his BAH, coz he never told me that. He just told me that he is just recieving $500 a month, but when i saw his paystub, its $822, and on his BAQ its stated there WITH DEPENDENT, and the Dependent is his SPOUSE.

Now here are my concerns:

1. I called legal office and gave me a number of a Commanding Officer, and I ask him if I can get a Military ID? He told me I am not recognize as a military wife over here coz we were married in the Philippines so I can't have a military ID even I come there with my husband. I should be married here and have a US Marriage certificate to be able to be recognized or buy a house or car, open an account together. Is it really true? So, its useless to be married in a foreign country and not be recognize here? But we applied for a Spouse Visa and obviously I am recognize as a wife of a US Citizen. I don't get it! Why are some of my friends recognize without them being married again here in the US. So, does that mean that I don'tget any benefits or rights as a Army Wife?

2. Is he getting extra allowance since he was married, coz it was declared in his paystub that he has a dependent and its his Spouse?

3. He will be deployed on December in Afghanistan, and one of my Army Wife friends told me that I will be recieving Separation Pay from being deployed.

3. And since I'm already here, and wasted much time and effort on this crappy marriage which I thought is my HAPPY EVER AFTER, and I'm not really ready to go home in the Philippines after all these mess, I would like to start my new life here. How can I Lift my conditions, coz i will just be here for 2 years, and I should lift my conditions with my husband. I heard of WAIVERS, btu I don't know how that thing goes.

I know he wanted divorce quick, coz he knows that having a babies and Hospital Bills are far expensiveif you don't have any medical benefits, and since he was not married to his mistress, his mistress and his babies can't get any insurance.

4. Can I lift my conditions alone? I never lived with him since I was here in the US. I don't have any proofs that we have joint accounts? So i don't know if the waiver will be approved?

Again, I am sorry for a long message. And Thank you in advance. I know this will be a Yuckie Process, but I am not the type who will revenge, like taking allhis money and stuff, or even go to his mistress and slap her BIG TIME!

I'm lifting all up to GOD, I just know what's my right. I don't want him to get out of this situation that easy. I don'twant him to think that he can just find a girl, marry her, adn if he's no longer having fun with the relationship, he can just fool around with some girl he wants and just divorce me that easy.

I know there will be violent reaction on this, or with me...But I just want to be clear.

Again, Thank you so much...God Bless you all.

[Alla 3]

ghomnet is right, don't give him a divorce! It is the most you can do!

It is very expensive to divorce internationally and if divorce is uncontested!

Stay strong, go to free consultations and collect options you have!

I wish you good luck!

[Inky 1,111]

ghomnet is right, don't give him a divorce! It is the most you can do!

It is very expensive to divorce internationally and if divorce is uncontested!

Stay strong, go to free consultations and collect options you have!

I wish you good luck!

This is kind of a silly thing to say, if she doesnt divorce him then she cannot marry again when she finds a better man who actually really cares about her. Not to mention the fact that he will continue to collect all kinds of spousal pay from the military by fraud.

[Indy&Benji 0]

I am sorry that things like this happened to your friend. I am also married to US Army too, and we also got married at the first time we met. But my situation is far different from her (thanks to God). For all the visa processing payment, plane tickets, etc my husband paid for it.

I would like to share some information too about being military spouse. Yes, you will get all the benefits, especially when your spouse is being deployed to combat zone. Your spouse should get BAH, separation payment, etc. But before you get all that your spouse should have registered you in the Army first. There are some paperworks you should do to proof that you are his wife and you become his dependent. Without it you will get NOTHING.

Even you got married in foreign country you still can get your military ID.

As for the lifting condition, I am not sure how to advise you as I don't really know about it.

Again, I am sorry for your friend.

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

ghomnet is right, don't give him a divorce! It is the most you can do!

It is very expensive to divorce internationally and if divorce is uncontested!

Stay strong, go to free consultations and collect options you have!

I wish you good luck!

This is kind of a silly thing to say, if she doesnt divorce him then she cannot marry again when she finds a better man who actually really cares about her. Not to mention the fact that he will continue to collect all kinds of spousal pay from the military by fraud.

Yeah, I do agree with you on that....

That's what I'm telling her too...coz she said he wanted tomake the divorce thing longer and give him a hard time.....

I am sorry that things like this happened to your friend. I am also married to US Army too, and we also got married at the first time we met. But my situation is far different from her (thanks to God). For all the visa processing payment, plane tickets, etc my husband paid for it.

I would like to share some information too about being military spouse. Yes, you will get all the benefits, especially when your spouse is being deployed to combat zone. Your spouse should get BAH, separation payment, etc. But before you get all that your spouse should have registered you in the Army first. There are some paperworks you should do to proof that you are his wife and you become his dependent. Without it you will get NOTHING.

Even you got married in foreign country you still can get your military ID.

As for the lifting condition, I am not sure how to advise you as I don't really know about it.

Again, I am sorry for your friend.

Exactly, the husband is recieving extra $$$ because he is married and he never tell her about it....he keeps lying about the benefits and the extra $$$.

I think she can't have the military ID without the presence of her husband.

What if she showed the paystub where the Dependent for the BAQ is his SPOUSE?

[precious stone 0]

JUST FORWARDING A MESSAGE I READ, I REALLY WANT TO HELP HER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.

Hi!

I am just new in this forum/site. I would like to ask for an advice on what to do. I apologize if my post is really long, I just want to you to know every details. And I'm sorry if I'm venting with you guys, I just want to be cleared on things before I go to look for a lawyer.

I am a native of the Philippines, I met my husband (27yrs old -Hubby, 29 years old-Me) last February 2008 online while he was deployed in Afghanistan and after a month of chatting, calling, texting each other we decide to become a couple, we had a happy relationship, thou we can't prevent misunderstandi ng.

By July we decided we want to be together, and he wanted to get married on September 2008, it was our first time to meet in person too.(which i know the stupidiest thing I did for LOVE) And September arrived, He arrived and we got married in the Philippines.

December came and he went back to the states and was based on Fort Campbell,KY.

February 2009, we applied for CR1 Visa (Conditional Visa) and after my visa application was approved 1st week of August, I got a YM Message from him that he got another Filipina woman pregnant in the Unites States, and its already on her 2nd month. That very same they a girl who i dont know added me on MySpace, and I told him about it, and told me that it was the woman (mistress) The Filipina is from Nashville, 31 years old and with one son,and knows that my husband is married. My WORLD is so crashed, couldn't work, eat...alll those stuff. And because I love him so much I forgive him and told him that I will accept the babies (Yes, its TWINS!) and I agree of him visiting them weekly or staying with the his babies and his mistress overnight every week, but his mistress don't want that, she wanted him to divorce me and be wiht them permanently, and after 2 days he changed his mind and that he wanted a divorce,which I can't understand why?!! It seems that I'm the mistress here and im the one begging him for time and not leave me...and then changed his mind again that he doesn't want to lose me...and then change again ....he's been changing minds for a week or 2. The last option he wants is "IF there will be NO Babies (miscarriage) He will still stay with me, but if there will be babies, he would divorce me" what's up with that huh?!am I a spare tire for him to this to me?

And now he's been accusing me of cheating on him, coz a man from the Philippines called him and told him that he's in love with his wife (which is obviously me) he gave me the number and I was calling it, but it was not working. He doesn't have any proof of me cheating on him,he even emailed my mom that we both sinned against each other, and the reason he cheated on me its because I always assume that he was cheating on me, that's why he did it. (what a valid reason!!!)

And as for the Visa Process, I paid half of the Visa, since he always tells me that he is always broke, and couldn't find money to pay the remaining fees. I paid for my medical, and my plane ticket. And he don'thave any idea that I pursue the Visa by myself.

And now, I am already in the United States. And he keeps telling me that I only use him to become a US Citizen and that I just want his money and all those stuff! Oh come on! I would'nt be spending like $1,500 if I just want his money and the Citizenship. I went here to play a FAIR GAME, because I know he won't go visit me to the Philippines and talk,so I decided to come here and know my rights.

I already emailed his commanding officer right after he told me that he got a woman pregnant. He was so pissed of and calling me names. I got a reply from the CO that she will talk wiht my husband and just update me. its been 2months and no updated, so I called the legal office on what can I do? my rights, my benefits and everything as a wife of an army.

FYI, before we got married, we decided that I will stop working and he will just give me a monthly allowance of $200. The allowance stop by February 2009, and becausehe gets mad whenever I ask for money, I decided to find a job to support myself. All this time I don't know anything about Military Benefits. It was just my Army Wife friends who are just telling me about all those things. I don't know about his BAH, coz he never told me that. He just told me that he is just recieving $500 a month, but when i saw his paystub, its $822, and on his BAQ its stated there WITH DEPENDENT, and the Dependent is his SPOUSE.

Now here are my concerns:

1. I called legal office and gave me a number of a Commanding Officer, and I ask him if I can get a Military ID? He told me I am not recognize as a military wife over here coz we were married in the Philippines so I can't have a military ID even I come there with my husband. I should be married here and have a US Marriage certificate to be able to be recognized or buy a house or car, open an account together. Is it really true? So, its useless to be married in a foreign country and not be recognize here? But we applied for a Spouse Visa and obviously I am recognize as a wife of a US Citizen. I don't get it!Why are some of my friends recognize without them being married again here in the US. So, does that mean that I don'tget any benefits or rights as a Army Wife?

2. Is he getting extra allowance since he was married, coz it was declared in his paystub that he has a dependent and its his Spouse?

3. He will be deployed on December in Afghanistan, and one of my Army Wife friends told me that I will be recieving Separation Pay from being deployed.

3. And since I'm already here, and wasted much time and effort on this crappy marriage which I thought is my HAPPY EVER AFTER, and I'm not really ready to go home in the Philippines after all these mess, I would like to start my new life here. How can I Lift my conditions, coz i will just be here for 2 years, and I should lift my conditions with my husband. I heard of WAIVERS, btu I don't know how that thing goes.

I know he wanted divorce quick, coz he knows that having a babies and Hospital Bills are far expensiveif you don't have any medical benefits, and since he was not married to his mistress, his mistress and his babies can't get any insurance.

4. Can I lift my conditions alone? I never lived with him since I was here in the US. I don't have any proofs that we have joint accounts? So i don't know if the waiver will be approved?

Again, I am sorry for a long message. And Thank you in advance. I know this will be a Yuckie Process, but I am not the type who will revenge, like taking allhis money and stuff, or even go to his mistress and slap her BIG TIME!

I'm lifting all up to GOD, I just know what's my right. I don't want him to get out of this situation that easy. I don'twant him to think that he can just find a girl, marry her, adn if he's no longer having fun with the relationship, he can just fool around with some girl he wants and just divorce me that easy.

I know there will be violent reaction on this, or with me...But I just want to be clear.

Again, Thank you so much...God Bless you all.

i feel sorry for that story... im also married to an army man but he was a filipino back then, he just got his citizenship last march 2009... and luckily we're happy together all these years...

1) we're married here in the philippines last september 2008 and when he was assigned in south korea i went there for a tourist visa valid for 3 months and that's the time i personally got my military id card...

2) of course he is getting extra pay for beign married...

3) your husband can get $250 as separation pay...

just seek for legal advice from a lawyer... sorry again for a bad experience... be strong...

[TayRivers 4]

Just want to remind everyone that personal attacks are against Visa Journey TOS... If you have nothing other than personal attacks to add to this thread then better that you dont post.

Tay

Visa Journey Moderation Team.

[Darnell 8,478]

IMO - if she's contacting any military office for advice, that office will lean towards the military person. Sure, she can get advice about what is 'normal' and 'standard' , which is, of course, useful.

Also, IMO, she needs to contact any one of FREE Legal Advice entities - preferably one off base, but in Kentucky - they can put a different spin on it to protect HER and her LEGAL rights.

I think it's possible that she can get the divorce and then file for ROC on her own, immediately after the divorce is granted - but - she must DOCUMENT everything going on with her situation.

That's it, for now - I'm staying out of the emotional rollercoaster bits.

[TayRivers 4]

All post containing personal attacks have been removed for violation of TOS.. if this thread goes off track again it will be closed and the members involved in the personal attacks will have their accounts suspended.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED...

Tay

Visa Journey Moderation Team

[Monnie 0]

JUST FORWARDING A MESSAGE I READ, I REALLY WANT TO HELP HER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.

Hi!

I am just new in this forum/site. I would like to ask for an advice on what to do. I apologize if my post is really long, I just want to you to know every details. And I'm sorry if I'm venting with you guys, I just want to be cleared on things before I go to look for a lawyer.

I am a native of the Philippines, I met my husband (27yrs old -Hubby, 29 years old-Me) last February 2008 online while he was deployed in Afghanistan and after a month of chatting, calling, texting each other we decide to become a couple, we had a happy relationship, thou we can't prevent misunderstandi ng.

By July we decided we want to be together, and he wanted to get married on September 2008, it was our first time to meet in person too.(which i know the stupidiest thing I did for LOVE) And September arrived, He arrived and we got married in the Philippines.

December came and he went back to the states and was based on Fort Campbell,KY.

February 2009, we applied for CR1 Visa (Conditional Visa) and after my visa application was approved 1st week of August, I got a YM Message from him that he got another Filipina woman pregnant in the Unites States, and its already on her 2nd month. That very same they a girl who i dont know added me on MySpace, and I told him about it, and told me that it was the woman (mistress) The Filipina is from Nashville, 31 years old and with one son,and knows that my husband is married. My WORLD is so crashed, couldn't work, eat...alll those stuff. And because I love him so much I forgive him and told him that I will accept the babies (Yes, its TWINS!) and I agree of him visiting them weekly or staying with the his babies and his mistress overnight every week, but his mistress don't want that, she wanted him to divorce me and be wiht them permanently, and after 2 days he changed his mind and that he wanted a divorce,which I can't understand why?!! It seems that I'm the mistress here and im the one begging him for time and not leave me...and then changed his mind again that he doesn't want to lose me...and then change again ....he's been changing minds for a week or 2. The last option he wants is "IF there will be NO Babies (miscarriage) He will still stay with me, but if there will be babies, he would divorce me" what's up with that huh?!am I a spare tire for him to this to me?

And now he's been accusing me of cheating on him, coz a man from the Philippines called him and told him that he's in love with his wife (which is obviously me) he gave me the number and I was calling it, but it was not working. He doesn't have any proof of me cheating on him,he even emailed my mom that we both sinned against each other, and the reason he cheated on me its because I always assume that he was cheating on me, that's why he did it. (what a valid reason!!!)

And as for the Visa Process, I paid half of the Visa, since he always tells me that he is always broke, and couldn't find money to pay the remaining fees. I paid for my medical, and my plane ticket. And he don'thave any idea that I pursue the Visa by myself.

And now, I am already in the United States. And he keeps telling me that I only use him to become a US Citizen and that I just want his money and all those stuff! Oh come on! I would'nt be spending like $1,500 if I just want his money and the Citizenship. I went here to play a FAIR GAME, because I know he won't go visit me to the Philippines and talk,so I decided to come here and know my rights.

I already emailed his commanding officer right after he told me that he got a woman pregnant. He was so pissed of and calling me names. I got a reply from the CO that she will talk wiht my husband and just update me. its been 2months and no updated, so I called the legal office on what can I do? my rights, my benefits and everything as a wife of an army.

FYI, before we got married, we decided that I will stop working and he will just give me a monthly allowance of $200. The allowance stop by February 2009, and becausehe gets mad whenever I ask for money, I decided to find a job to support myself. All this time I don't know anything about Military Benefits. It was just my Army Wife friends who are just telling me about all those things. I don't know about his BAH, coz he never told me that. He just told me that he is just recieving $500 a month, but when i saw his paystub, its $822, and on his BAQ its stated there WITH DEPENDENT, and the Dependent is his SPOUSE.

Now here are my concerns:

1. I called legal office and gave me a number of a Commanding Officer, and I ask him if I can get a Military ID? He told me I am not recognize as a military wife over here coz we were married in the Philippines so I can't have a military ID even I come there with my husband. I should be married here and have a US Marriage certificate to be able to be recognized or buy a house or car, open an account together. Is it really true? So, its useless to be married in a foreign country and not be recognize here? But we applied for a Spouse Visa and obviously I am recognize as a wife of a US Citizen. I don't get it!Why are some of my friends recognize without them being married again here in the US. So, does that mean that I don'tget any benefits or rights as a Army Wife?

2. Is he getting extra allowance since he was married, coz it was declared in his paystub that he has a dependent and its his Spouse?

3. He will be deployed on December in Afghanistan, and one of my Army Wife friends told me that I will be recieving Separation Pay from being deployed.

3. And since I'm already here, and wasted much time and effort on this crappy marriage which I thought is my HAPPY EVER AFTER, and I'm not really ready to go home in the Philippines after all these mess, I would like to start my new life here. How can I Lift my conditions, coz i will just be here for 2 years, and I should lift my conditions with my husband. I heard of WAIVERS, btu I don't know how that thing goes.

I know he wanted divorce quick, coz he knows that having a babies and Hospital Bills are far expensiveif you don't have any medical benefits, and since he was not married to his mistress, his mistress and his babies can't get any insurance.

4. Can I lift my conditions alone? I never lived with him since I was here in the US. I don't have any proofs that we have joint accounts? So i don't know if the waiver will be approved?

Again, I am sorry for a long message. And Thank you in advance. I know this will be a Yuckie Process, but I am not the type who will revenge, like taking allhis money and stuff, or even go to his mistress and slap her BIG TIME!

I'm lifting all up to GOD, I just know what's my right. I don't want him to get out of this situation that easy. I don'twant him to think that he can just find a girl, marry her, adn if he's no longer having fun with the relationship, he can just fool around with some girl he wants and just divorce me that easy.

I know there will be violent reaction on this, or with me...But I just want to be clear.

Again, Thank you so much...God Bless you all.

I am very sorry to hear your story. There are various agencies which will support you in finding the right direction and course of action. I have lived in hell marrying such a jerk and all I say to you is get out of it fast and show him that you are an independent woman and not at his mercy. My prayers are with you.

[Indy&Benji 0]

ghomnet is right, don't give him a divorce! It is the most you can do!

It is very expensive to divorce internationally and if divorce is uncontested!

Stay strong, go to free consultations and collect options you have!

I wish you good luck!

This is kind of a silly thing to say, if she doesnt divorce him then she cannot marry again when she finds a better man who actually really cares about her. Not to mention the fact that he will continue to collect all kinds of spousal pay from the military by fraud.

Yeah, I do agree with you on that....

That's what I'm telling her too...coz she said he wanted tomake the divorce thing longer and give him a hard time.....

I am sorry that things like this happened to your friend. I am also married to US Army too, and we also got married at the first time we met. But my situation is far different from her (thanks to God). For all the visa processing payment, plane tickets, etc my husband paid for it.

I would like to share some information too about being military spouse. Yes, you will get all the benefits, especially when your spouse is being deployed to combat zone. Your spouse should get BAH, separation payment, etc. But before you get all that your spouse should have registered you in the Army first. There are some paperworks you should do to proof that you are his wife and you become his dependent. Without it you will get NOTHING.

Even you got married in foreign country you still can get your military ID.

As for the lifting condition, I am not sure how to advise you as I don't really know about it.

Again, I am sorry for your friend.

Exactly, the husband is recieving extra $$$ because he is married and he never tell her about it....he keeps lying about the benefits and the extra $$$.

I think she can't have the military ID without the presence of her husband.

What if she showed the paystub where the Dependent for the BAQ is his SPOUSE?

He is such a liar and he is a jerk who is a disgrace to the military.

Well, without a presence of the husband, to get a military ID we need to go to the base and show the marriage certificate, deployment order (if the husband is deploying), also "power of attorney" from the husband. I did this too since my husband is in Iraq now.

[khalidnfatima 0]

Something's just off here. The OP came to the US on a CR-1 visa, has a failed marriage...came to the US alone, did not to live with her husband, and now is concerned with receiving benefits due to her as an Army Wife of a deployed solider? I'm sorry, but this seems a little far-fetched and it does not seem like she has any proof to submit for removal of conditions. There was never a real marriage. She has never co-habited w/ her husband, filed taxes together or had joint accounts. There's no documentation which she could present to prove that the marriage was real while it lasted. The problems in the marriage came to light while she was still in the PI. Why come to the US at all? And now that she is here, and cannot reconcile with her husband....why not divorce and be done with it?

They DID co-habitate - In the Phillipines - it says that in the post - he was there with her from Sept thru December - just cuz they did not co-habitate in the US does NOT mean that they didnt co-habitate.

[belinda63 3,041]

I can't answer much about how to get her 10 year green card although i would think it would be difficult to prove this was a real marriage.

As to the military stuff yes. My first husband was military and tried all kinds of ####### when we divorced. She is entitled to receive the housing allowance over his basic without dependents amount. He receives this if he lives on post or off, for example he is deployed to Korea and the family cannot go he still receives the extra housing allowance because it is for his dependents.

The family separation pay I'm not sure who it belongs.

As far as enrolling in DEERS any country's legitimate marriage license will work. If a soldier is married in Germany he does not have to "remarry" in the US to have his wife recognized by the military.

What I would strongly recommend is the wife report to the nearest military installation to the DEERS office and explain her situation with a certified copy of the marriage certificate and knowing his social security number. With this she should be allowed to enroll herself in DEERS and obtain a military ID card with or without his help if she explains the he has abandoned her.

She also needs to visit the legal assistance office on post and explain that she is married, her husband is receiving BAH at the with dependent rate and she has received no support from him.

She also needs to again contact his CO in regards to her not receiving support from her husband and if the CO plays the "protect the soldier game" (as they will do) obtain his rank and name and report him to JAG and his superior officer. It is required by Military regulation that the soldier support his family, this is not optional.

Good luck and I'm sorry to say you are not the first person a soldier has married just so he can get the extra money.

[Inky 1,111]

The wife will have to some how get on base first without a Military ID and she likely will not be allowed unless she has a friend with a MIL ID that can get her on and escort her to the respective building. Not to mention you cant even sign in at the DEERS office without the SO to sign into the system for an appointment or they generally wont even speak to you.

[chinese_mutt 11]

Something's just off here. The OP came to the US on a CR-1 visa, has a failed marriage...came to the US alone, did not to live with her husband, and now is concerned with receiving benefits due to her as an Army Wife of a deployed solider? I'm sorry, but this seems a little far-fetched and it does not seem like she has any proof to submit for removal of conditions. There was never a real marriage. She has never co-habited w/ her husband, filed taxes together or had joint accounts. There's no documentation which she could present to prove that the marriage was real while it lasted. The problems in the marriage came to light while she was still in the PI. Why come to the US at all? And now that she is here, and cannot reconcile with her husband....why not divorce and be done with it?

They DID co-habitate - In the Phillipines - it says that in the post - he was there with her from Sept thru December - just cuz they did not co-habitate in the US does NOT mean that they didnt co-habitate.

Isn't the co-habitation requirement AFTER you get here? I don't know... anyone know?

I feel sorry for the girl.