Cheating Husband

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

JUST FORWARDING A MESSAGE I READ, I REALLY WANT TO HELP HER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.

Hi!

I am just new in this forum/site. I would like to ask for an advice on what to do. I apologize if my post is really long, I just want to you to know every details. And I'm sorry if I'm venting with you guys, I just want to be cleared on things before I go to look for a lawyer.

I am a native of the Philippines, I met my husband (27yrs old -Hubby, 29 years old-Me) last February 2008 online while he was deployed in Afghanistan and after a month of chatting, calling, texting each other we decide to become a couple, we had a happy relationship, thou we can't prevent misunderstandi ng.

By July we decided we want to be together, and he wanted to get married on September 2008, it was our first time to meet in person too.(which i know the stupidiest thing I did for LOVE) And September arrived, He arrived and we got married in the Philippines.

December came and he went back to the states and was based on Fort Campbell,KY.

February 2009, we applied for CR1 Visa (Conditional Visa) and after my visa application was approved 1st week of August, I got a YM Message from him that he got another Filipina woman pregnant in the Unites States, and its already on her 2nd month. That very same they a girl who i dont know added me on MySpace, and I told him about it, and told me that it was the woman (mistress) The Filipina is from Nashville, 31 years old and with one son,and knows that my husband is married. My WORLD is so crashed, couldn't work, eat...alll those stuff. And because I love him so much I forgive him and told him that I will accept the babies (Yes, its TWINS!) and I agree of him visiting them weekly or staying with the his babies and his mistress overnight every week, but his mistress don't want that, she wanted him to divorce me and be wiht them permanently, and after 2 days he changed his mind and that he wanted a divorce,which I can't understand why?!! It seems that I'm the mistress here and im the one begging him for time and not leave me...and then changed his mind again that he doesn't want to lose me...and then change again ....he's been changing minds for a week or 2. The last option he wants is "IF there will be NO Babies (miscarriage) He will still stay with me, but if there will be babies, he would divorce me" what's up with that huh?!am I a spare tire for him to this to me?

And now he's been accusing me of cheating on him, coz a man from the Philippines called him and told him that he's in love with his wife (which is obviously me) he gave me the number and I was calling it, but it was not working. He doesn't have any proof of me cheating on him,he even emailed my mom that we both sinned against each other, and the reason he cheated on me its because I always assume that he was cheating on me, that's why he did it. (what a valid reason!!!)

And as for the Visa Process, I paid half of the Visa, since he always tells me that he is always broke, and couldn't find money to pay the remaining fees. I paid for my medical, and my plane ticket. And he don'thave any idea that I pursue the Visa by myself.

And now, I am already in the United States. And he keeps telling me that I only use him to become a US Citizen and that I just want his money and all those stuff! Oh come on! I would'nt be spending like $1,500 if I just want his money and the Citizenship. I went here to play a FAIR GAME, because I know he won't go visit me to the Philippines and talk,so I decided to come here and know my rights.

I already emailed his commanding officer right after he told me that he got a woman pregnant. He was so pissed of and calling me names. I got a reply from the CO that she will talk wiht my husband and just update me. its been 2months and no updated, so I called the legal office on what can I do? my rights, my benefits and everything as a wife of an army.

FYI, before we got married, we decided that I will stop working and he will just give me a monthly allowance of $200. The allowance stop by February 2009, and becausehe gets mad whenever I ask for money, I decided to find a job to support myself. All this time I don't know anything about Military Benefits. It was just my Army Wife friends who are just telling me about all those things. I don't know about his BAH, coz he never told me that. He just told me that he is just recieving $500 a month, but when i saw his paystub, its $822, and on his BAQ its stated there WITH DEPENDENT, and the Dependent is his SPOUSE.

Now here are my concerns:

1. I called legal office and gave me a number of a Commanding Officer, and I ask him if I can get a Military ID? He told me I am not recognize as a military wife over here coz we were married in the Philippines so I can't have a military ID even I come there with my husband. I should be married here and have a US Marriage certificate to be able to be recognized or buy a house or car, open an account together. Is it really true? So, its useless to be married in a foreign country and not be recognize here? But we applied for a Spouse Visa and obviously I am recognize as a wife of a US Citizen. I don't get it!Why are some of my friends recognize without them being married again here in the US. So, does that mean that I don'tget any benefits or rights as a Army Wife?

2. Is he getting extra allowance since he was married, coz it was declared in his paystub that he has a dependent and its his Spouse?

3. He will be deployed on December in Afghanistan, and one of my Army Wife friends told me that I will be recieving Separation Pay from being deployed.

3. And since I'm already here, and wasted much time and effort on this crappy marriage which I thought is my HAPPY EVER AFTER, and I'm not really ready to go home in the Philippines after all these mess, I would like to start my new life here. How can I Lift my conditions, coz i will just be here for 2 years, and I should lift my conditions with my husband. I heard of WAIVERS, btu I don't know how that thing goes.

I know he wanted divorce quick, coz he knows that having a babies and Hospital Bills are far expensiveif you don't have any medical benefits, and since he was not married to his mistress, his mistress and his babies can't get any insurance.

4. Can I lift my conditions alone? I never lived with him since I was here in the US. I don't have any proofs that we have joint accounts? So i don't know if the waiver will be approved?

Again, I am sorry for a long message. And Thank you in advance. I know this will be a Yuckie Process, but I am not the type who will revenge, like taking allhis money and stuff, or even go to his mistress and slap her BIG TIME!

I'm lifting all up to GOD, I just know what's my right. I don't want him to get out of this situation that easy. I don'twant him to think that he can just find a girl, marry her, adn if he's no longer having fun with the relationship, he can just fool around with some girl he wants and just divorce me that easy.

I know there will be violent reaction on this, or with me...But I just want to be clear.

Again, Thank you so much...God Bless you all.

[Inky 1,111]

First I will say im so sorry he did this, second I will say MEN REALLY SUCK SOMETIMES!!! ugh! So sorry you experience this.. I had a very very bad relation with a military man just like this.. many of them sleep with a lot of women even tho they have a wife or girlfriend..

I cant answer all your question but i can answer 2. and 3.

2. Yes he is getting extra money for being married to a spouse who is dependant on him!! its part of their pay system, depending on what part of military (navy, army,airforce) they each get a slightly different amount for spousal pay.

3. Sorry to say that you dont get that pay... But your husband DOES get 500$ EXTRA for being deployed and away from his wife.

I hope that someone can help you with the other questions so you can get things sorted out. Sorry you have to go through this =(

[mrsean 4]

JUST FORWARDING A MESSAGE I READ, I REALLY WANT TO HELP HER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.

Hi!

I am just new in this forum/site. I would like to ask for an advice on what to do. I apologize if my post is really long, I just want to you to know every details. And I'm sorry if I'm venting with you guys, I just want to be cleared on things before I go to look for a lawyer.

I am a native of the Philippines, I met my husband (27yrs old -Hubby, 29 years old-Me) last February 2008 online while he was deployed in Afghanistan and after a month of chatting, calling, texting each other we decide to become a couple, we had a happy relationship, thou we can't prevent misunderstandi ng.

By July we decided we want to be together, and he wanted to get married on September 2008, it was our first time to meet in person too.(which i know the stupidiest thing I did for LOVE) And September arrived, He arrived and we got married in the Philippines.

December came and he went back to the states and was based on Fort Campbell,KY.

February 2009, we applied for CR1 Visa (Conditional Visa) and after my visa application was approved 1st week of August, I got a YM Message from him that he got another Filipina woman pregnant in the Unites States, and its already on her 2nd month. That very same they a girl who i dont know added me on MySpace, and I told him about it, and told me that it was the woman (mistress) The Filipina is from Nashville, 31 years old and with one son,and knows that my husband is married. My WORLD is so crashed, couldn't work, eat...alll those stuff. And because I love him so much I forgive him and told him that I will accept the babies (Yes, its TWINS!) and I agree of him visiting them weekly or staying with the his babies and his mistress overnight every week, but his mistress don't want that, she wanted him to divorce me and be wiht them permanently, and after 2 days he changed his mind and that he wanted a divorce,which I can't understand why?!! It seems that I'm the mistress here and im the one begging him for time and not leave me...and then changed his mind again that he doesn't want to lose me...and then change again ....he's been changing minds for a week or 2. The last option he wants is "IF there will be NO Babies (miscarriage) He will still stay with me, but if there will be babies, he would divorce me" what's up with that huh?!am I a spare tire for him to this to me?

And now he's been accusing me of cheating on him, coz a man from the Philippines called him and told him that he's in love with his wife (which is obviously me) he gave me the number and I was calling it, but it was not working. He doesn't have any proof of me cheating on him,he even emailed my mom that we both sinned against each other, and the reason he cheated on me its because I always assume that he was cheating on me, that's why he did it. (what a valid reason!!!)

And as for the Visa Process, I paid half of the Visa, since he always tells me that he is always broke, and couldn't find money to pay the remaining fees. I paid for my medical, and my plane ticket. And he don'thave any idea that I pursue the Visa by myself.

And now, I am already in the United States. And he keeps telling me that I only use him to become a US Citizen and that I just want his money and all those stuff! Oh come on! I would'nt be spending like $1,500 if I just want his money and the Citizenship. I went here to play a FAIR GAME, because I know he won't go visit me to the Philippines and talk,so I decided to come here and know my rights.

I already emailed his commanding officer right after he told me that he got a woman pregnant. He was so pissed of and calling me names. I got a reply from the CO that she will talk wiht my husband and just update me. its been 2months and no updated, so I called the legal office on what can I do? my rights, my benefits and everything as a wife of an army.

FYI, before we got married, we decided that I will stop working and he will just give me a monthly allowance of $200. The allowance stop by February 2009, and becausehe gets mad whenever I ask for money, I decided to find a job to support myself. All this time I don't know anything about Military Benefits. It was just my Army Wife friends who are just telling me about all those things. I don't know about his BAH, coz he never told me that. He just told me that he is just recieving $500 a month, but when i saw his paystub, its $822, and on his BAQ its stated there WITH DEPENDENT, and the Dependent is his SPOUSE.

Now here are my concerns:

1. I called legal office and gave me a number of a Commanding Officer, and I ask him if I can get a Military ID? He told me I am not recognize as a military wife over here coz we were married in the Philippines so I can't have a military ID even I come there with my husband. I should be married here and have a US Marriage certificate to be able to be recognized or buy a house or car, open an account together. Is it really true? So, its useless to be married in a foreign country and not be recognize here? But we applied for a Spouse Visa and obviously I am recognize as a wife of a US Citizen. I don't get it!Why are some of my friends recognize without them being married again here in the US. So, does that mean that I don'tget any benefits or rights as a Army Wife?

2. Is he getting extra allowance since he was married, coz it was declared in his paystub that he has a dependent and its his Spouse?

3. He will be deployed on December in Afghanistan, and one of my Army Wife friends told me that I will be recieving Separation Pay from being deployed.

3. And since I'm already here, and wasted much time and effort on this crappy marriage which I thought is my HAPPY EVER AFTER, and I'm not really ready to go home in the Philippines after all these mess, I would like to start my new life here. How can I Lift my conditions, coz i will just be here for 2 years, and I should lift my conditions with my husband. I heard of WAIVERS, btu I don't know how that thing goes.

I know he wanted divorce quick, coz he knows that having a babies and Hospital Bills are far expensiveif you don't have any medical benefits, and since he was not married to his mistress, his mistress and his babies can't get any insurance.

4. Can I lift my conditions alone? I never lived with him since I was here in the US. I don't have any proofs that we have joint accounts? So i don't know if the waiver will be approved?

Again, I am sorry for a long message. And Thank you in advance. I know this will be a Yuckie Process, but I am not the type who will revenge, like taking allhis money and stuff, or even go to his mistress and slap her BIG TIME!

I'm lifting all up to GOD, I just know what's my right. I don't want him to get out of this situation that easy. I don'twant him to think that he can just find a girl, marry her, adn if he's no longer having fun with the relationship, he can just fool around with some girl he wants and just divorce me that easy.

I know there will be violent reaction on this, or with me...But I just want to be clear.

Again, Thank you so much...God Bless you all.

absolutely go talk to a lawer right away they will give you advise and help you! this guy is a creep, scum bag loser

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

First I will say im so sorry he did this, second I will say MEN REALLY SUCK SOMETIMES!!! ugh! So sorry you experience this.. I had a very very bad relation with a military man just like this.. many of them sleep with a lot of women even tho they have a wife or girlfriend..

I cant answer all your question but i can answer 2. and 3.

2. Yes he is getting extra money for being married to a spouse who is dependant on him!! its part of their pay system, depending on what part of military (navy, army,airforce) they each get a slightly different amount for spousal pay.

3. Sorry to say that you dont get that pay... But your husband DOES get 500$ EXTRA for being deployed and away from his wife.

I hope that someone can help you with the other questions so you can get things sorted out. Sorry you have to go through this =(

That's what I told her too...that youare getting extra $$$ for being married to a military, and she doesnt know that. She was still in the Philippines and all she want is to be with him. She doesn'teven know about the BAH (Housing allowance) she just knew about it when she saw the photocopy of the Paystub that her husband send to NVC, and it was stated there that SPOUSE is the Dependent.

She's been having financial problems because he don't give him money after February 2009. So she decided to find work again even without his approval.

And now, that stupid guy is accusing her that she too is cheating on him, so they are just cheating with each other (what an A$$ huh!)

Now she is in the United States without the husband knowing it. But she already emailed her husband that's she's here and then again, he wanted to rush the divorce as he always planned.

My Gosh, that guy is really so stupidand a jerk acting like that!

i wanted her to stay in the US, coz she doesn't have any guts to go back home since her grandparents is almost in a situation of "Meeting GOD" soon....she doesn't want to see them disappointed nor lie to them everytime they ask them about her marriage, just killing her.

I wanted to helpher about the WAIVER thing, but i dont have any idea about it.

[milimelo 4,513]

Foreign marriages ARE recognized in the military and she should be able to get the military ID card.

For BAH - he is getting that money on the basis of being married to her (dependant). She could report him to the chain of command - they don't look favourably on situations like this.

If he updated DEERS with her info once they got married she should have the Tricare as well (medical insurance).

Since he wants to divorce her, she could possibly take him up on alimony based off of the length of marriage (won't be much) and then file the I-751 as soon as she gets the divorce decree. Not sure if she would have much of evidence to prove co-mingling of assets - but dependancy could be established from his pay stubs.

[Minya's wife 25]

Something's just off here. The OP came to the US on a CR-1 visa, has a failed marriage...came to the US alone, did not to live with her husband, and now is concerned with receiving benefits due to her as an Army Wife of a deployed solider? I'm sorry, but this seems a little far-fetched and it does not seem like she has any proof to submit for removal of conditions. There was never a real marriage. She has never co-habited w/ her husband, filed taxes together or had joint accounts. There's no documentation which she could present to prove that the marriage was real while it lasted. The problems in the marriage came to light while she was still in the PI. Why come to the US at all? And now that she is here, and cannot reconcile with her husband....why not divorce and be done with it?

[Inky 1,111]

I think the base of the question from this is that she is asking if he is collecting money from being married to her but not being with her and wanting a divorce which is not right nore is it fair to lie to the military about the marriage to collect spousal pay when he wont even live with her and wants a divorce to marry someone else. thats the issue, she does not seem concerned at all about getting money to me.

[sara..... 371]

i dont have much to day about the situation because i know i would get carried away so i will just ask one small question

having proof that he is collecting extra funds from the government because he is married shows a marraige and he would have a hard time explaining that away if he fought the change of status?

i dont know much about this but just seems logical to me

sara

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

Foreign marriages ARE recognized in the military and she should be able to get the military ID card.

For BAH - he is getting that money on the basis of being married to her (dependant). She could report him to the chain of command - they don't look favourably on situations like this.

If he updated DEERS with her info once they got married she should have the Tricare as well (medical insurance).

Since he wants to divorce her, she could possibly take him up on alimony based off of the length of marriage (won't be much) and then file the I-751 as soon as she gets the divorce decree. Not sure if she would have much of evidence to prove co-mingling of assets - but dependancy could be established from his pay stubs.

well, yeah...that's another option she is taking..the Alimony for the husband and Alienation of Affection for the mistress..

Well, the husband is such a liar, he even told her wife that he is just recieving $500 for the BAH and when she saw his paystub it stated there that its $822, and now she was looking at the AOS form and it also stated there that husband's assets or savings in the bank is $99.10 #######!! where the hell is all the money?

Something's just off here. The OP came to the US on a CR-1 visa, has a failed marriage...came to the US alone, did not to live with her husband, and now is concerned with receiving benefits due to her as an Army Wife of a deployed solider? I'm sorry, but this seems a little far-fetched and it does not seem like she has any proof to submit for removal of conditions. There was never a real marriage. She has never co-habited w/ her husband, filed taxes together or had joint accounts. There's no documentation which she could present to prove that the marriage was real while it lasted. The problems in the marriage came to light while she was still in the PI. Why come to the US at all? And now that she is here, and cannot reconcile with her husband....why not divorce and be done with it?

Oh! i ask her that too...well,she was being civil with her husband while she was still in the PI, but allhe do is nag at her and that he doesn't want to talk...and he keeps changing his decision and just told her that give him a divorce. I guess the wife still haev the rights to go here, since she paid half of the visa? the wife even paid for her medical and the Plane Ticket? So she decided to just go here, maybe things will be much easier for her, because its costing her much to call him and people from teh military if she's Oversea.

Well, that will really be a problem that she doesnt have any proofs that. All she have are emails that he really had teh girl pregnant and that they have a relationship before.

I think the base of the question from this is that she is asking if he is collecting money from being married to her but not being with her and wanting a divorce which is not right nore is it fair to lie to the military about the marriage to collect spousal pay when he wont even live with her and wants a divorce to marry someone else. thats the issue, she does not seem concerned at all about getting money to me.

Yes, I guess she is just asking of some questions that she doesnt knwo yet because her husband keeps it from her, lying about the benefits she might get.

AND I THINK the husband use her to get extra $$$ in the military?!!

And he keeps telling her that he is always broke..and saving money for the visa and stuff, how come his savings in the bank/assets is only $99.10?!! that's nonsense?!!

The husband always tells her that he have to pay for the car maintenance adn stuff....I ask her what car he uses? and its a Lincoln Luxury car?!! #######! why not just get a car that cost a low maintenance?

now tell me what's wrong there?!!

And FYI, the mistress know that he is married and she wanted him to divorce his wife OR SHE WONT LET HIM SEE HER BABIES?!! oh come on! what a B!TCH!!

[mooninlove 1]

She'll be having a big problem when she removes conditions on her card because their marriage just didn't work in the 1st place. She has to prove that to the USCIS. Secondly, i didn't read if she already adjusted her status at all and she has her card. It's just a total mess & i don't see where this issues go or will it ever progress into something beneficial to the OP.

with regards to the BAH, yes as a military wife/dependent & enrolled @ DEERS, they get an allowance for that (BAH) & it depends on your rank and base. The BAH is included in their LES below Entitlements. They have their base pay, BAS, BAH & right now they get extra $$$ for clothing too. But of course, there are deductions as well. As a wife, you should have been given your military card, tricare benefits, dental & other benefits bit it seems your hubby does not care at all. Were you enrolled @ DEERS? You have the right to find out & absolutely letting their higher commands knows about this helps you out.

Your situation is just hard right now esp there's a mistress pregnant with twins, GC, the divorce drama etc.. and so on..i just wish you well and best of luck to you.

[Inky 1,111]

A lot of military guys marry for the benies and extra pay of being married, its possible that he only has 99$ in his bank account.. if he lives in base housing they take all his base housing money + monthy bills he has to pay off + whatever else he WASTES his money on ... alot of my husbands military friends are very poor bcause they cant seem to manage their money properly.

I think she and him should talk and try to sort things out even tho that seems like a really difficult option, but as it stands at the same time it really doesnt seem to be going anywhere either. she is stuck bcause he refuses to help her get the things she needs organized...

im not sure how you apply to AOS from CR1 but she does have proof of marriage and proof that he is collecting benefits from military/government for being married and she must have other proofs of relationship that she can use for some of it? Maybe she should consult an immigration lawyer? I know it is expencive but maybe she can get some free consultation to find out what her options are.. this is a really big mess!

[milimelo 4,513]

A lot of military guys marry for the benies and extra pay of being married, its possible that he only has 99$ in his bank account.. if he lives in base housing they take all his base housing money + monthy bills he has to pay off + whatever else he WASTES his money on ... alot of my husbands military friends are very poor bcause they cant seem to manage their money properly.

I think she and him should talk and try to sort things out even tho that seems like a really difficult option, but as it stands at the same time it really doesnt seem to be going anywhere either. she is stuck bcause he refuses to help her get the things she needs organized...

im not sure how you apply to AOS from CR1 but she does have proof of marriage and proof that he is collecting benefits from military/government for being married and she must have other proofs of relationship that she can use for some of it? Maybe she should consult an immigration lawyer? I know it is expencive but maybe she can get some free consultation to find out what her options are.. this is a really big mess!

There is no AOS from CR-1 - she has the 2-yr green card already. She now needs either to divorce and file for ROC immediately or see if the marriage can be salvaged, live together and then when it's time apply for ROC.

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

She'll be having a big problem when she removes conditions on her card because their marriage just didn't work in the 1st place. She has to prove that to the USCIS. Secondly, i didn't read if she already adjusted her status at all and she has her card. It's just a total mess & i don't see where this issues go or will it ever progress into something beneficial to the OP.

with regards to the BAH, yes as a military wife/dependent & enrolled @ DEERS, they get an allowance for that (BAH) & it depends on your rank and base. The BAH is included in their LES below Entitlements. They have their base pay, BAS, BAH & right now they get extra $$$ for clothing too. But of course, there are deductions as well. As a wife, you should have been given your military card, tricare benefits, dental & other benefits bit it seems your hubby does not care at all. Were you enrolled @ DEERS? You have the right to find out & absolutely letting their higher commands knows about this helps you out.

Your situation is just hard right now esp there's a mistress pregnant with twins, GC, the divorce drama etc.. and so on..i just wish you well and best of luck to you.

hmmm...im not sure if her husband enrolled her to DEERS? i think she already have her SSN and not sure of the GC, coz she was just here 3 weeks ago.

The wife already emailed the COMMANDER, they already talk with the husband which pisses him off and say told her mean things like "MONEY GRABBER PINAY" which really hates her coz she never asked for money. and mostly the Visa is the Wife's expenses.

She haven't adjusted her status, she just arrived the US this month. The wife's removal is 2011.

Its still confuses me how things are easy for the husband to just get out of the marriage and make her the bad person here.

A lot of military guys marry for the benies and extra pay of being married, its possible that he only has 99$ in his bank account.. if he lives in base housing they take all his base housing money + monthy bills he has to pay off + whatever else he WASTES his money on ... alot of my husbands military friends are very poor bcause they cant seem to manage their money properly.

I think she and him should talk and try to sort things out even tho that seems like a really difficult option, but as it stands at the same time it really doesnt seem to be going anywhere either. she is stuck bcause he refuses to help her get the things she needs organized...

im not sure how you apply to AOS from CR1 but she does have proof of marriage and proof that he is collecting benefits from military/government for being married and she must have other proofs of relationship that she can use for some of it? Maybe she should consult an immigration lawyer? I know it is expencive but maybe she can get some free $$$, which hurts her because her and her family treats the husband very good.

They've been married for a year now and IF the husband and the mistress had the relationship going since March, the husband is really a Jerk!

What made me laugh and when I saw her husband's YM Message that what put force him to cheat on her is that she keeps accusing her cheating on him, which is true! She did accuse her of cheating coz she has proof, and the wife showed it to me...so i guess the wife has the right to be mad at him, but since the wife is so inlove with the husband, she just forgave him and go on with life and save the marriage, but i think this situation is really overboard.

I don't think the saving the marriage thing will happen...do u think u can stil live without a person he Verbally Abuse you, take for granted all the things the wife put effort on saving the relationship.

I really don't know what other way she can do to adjust status by herself. he wanted to start a new life here, she just want to wait till the issue is dead in the PI. It's the first Divorce in the Family, and she hates that she is the one who break the record.

Only her relatives here in the US knew about the Divorce Thing....and until now Non-stop talking about the issue is still on going.....

[youtube 0]

JUST FORWARDING A MESSAGE I READ, I REALLY WANT TO HELP HER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.

Hi!

I am just new in this forum/site. I would like to ask for an advice on what to do. I apologize if my post is really long, I just want to you to know every details. And I'm sorry if I'm venting with you guys, I just want to be cleared on things before I go to look for a lawyer.

I am a native of the Philippines, I met my husband (27yrs old -Hubby, 29 years old-Me) last February 2008 online while he was deployed in Afghanistan and after a month of chatting, calling, texting each other we decide to become a couple, we had a happy relationship, thou we can't prevent misunderstandi ng.

By July we decided we want to be together, and he wanted to get married on September 2008, it was our first time to meet in person too.(which i know the stupidiest thing I did for LOVE) And September arrived, He arrived and we got married in the Philippines.

December came and he went back to the states and was based on Fort Campbell,KY.

February 2009, we applied for CR1 Visa (Conditional Visa) and after my visa application was approved 1st week of August, I got a YM Message from him that he got another Filipina woman pregnant in the Unites States, and its already on her 2nd month. That very same they a girl who i dont know added me on MySpace, and I told him about it, and told me that it was the woman (mistress) The Filipina is from Nashville, 31 years old and with one son,and knows that my husband is married. My WORLD is so crashed, couldn't work, eat...alll those stuff. And because I love him so much I forgive him and told him that I will accept the babies (Yes, its TWINS!) and I agree of him visiting them weekly or staying with the his babies and his mistress overnight every week, but his mistress don't want that, she wanted him to divorce me and be wiht them permanently, and after 2 days he changed his mind and that he wanted a divorce,which I can't understand why?!! It seems that I'm the mistress here and im the one begging him for time and not leave me...and then changed his mind again that he doesn't want to lose me...and then change again ....he's been changing minds for a week or 2. The last option he wants is "IF there will be NO Babies (miscarriage) He will still stay with me, but if there will be babies, he would divorce me" what's up with that huh?!am I a spare tire for him to this to me?

And now he's been accusing me of cheating on him, coz a man from the Philippines called him and told him that he's in love with his wife (which is obviously me) he gave me the number and I was calling it, but it was not working. He doesn't have any proof of me cheating on him,he even emailed my mom that we both sinned against each other, and the reason he cheated on me its because I always assume that he was cheating on me, that's why he did it. (what a valid reason!!!)

And as for the Visa Process, I paid half of the Visa, since he always tells me that he is always broke, and couldn't find money to pay the remaining fees. I paid for my medical, and my plane ticket. And he don'thave any idea that I pursue the Visa by myself.

And now, I am already in the United States. And he keeps telling me that I only use him to become a US Citizen and that I just want his money and all those stuff! Oh come on! I would'nt be spending like $1,500 if I just want his money and the Citizenship. I went here to play a FAIR GAME, because I know he won't go visit me to the Philippines and talk,so I decided to come here and know my rights.

I already emailed his commanding officer right after he told me that he got a woman pregnant. He was so pissed of and calling me names. I got a reply from the CO that she will talk wiht my husband and just update me. its been 2months and no updated, so I called the legal office on what can I do? my rights, my benefits and everything as a wife of an army.

FYI, before we got married, we decided that I will stop working and he will just give me a monthly allowance of $200. The allowance stop by February 2009, and becausehe gets mad whenever I ask for money, I decided to find a job to support myself. All this time I don't know anything about Military Benefits. It was just my Army Wife friends who are just telling me about all those things. I don't know about his BAH, coz he never told me that. He just told me that he is just recieving $500 a month, but when i saw his paystub, its $822, and on his BAQ its stated there WITH DEPENDENT, and the Dependent is his SPOUSE.

Now here are my concerns:

1. I called legal office and gave me a number of a Commanding Officer, and I ask him if I can get a Military ID? He told me I am not recognize as a military wife over here coz we were married in the Philippines so I can't have a military ID even I come there with my husband. I should be married here and have a US Marriage certificate to be able to be recognized or buy a house or car, open an account together. Is it really true? So, its useless to be married in a foreign country and not be recognize here? But we applied for a Spouse Visa and obviously I am recognize as a wife of a US Citizen. I don't get it!Why are some of my friends recognize without them being married again here in the US. So, does that mean that I don'tget any benefits or rights as a Army Wife?

2. Is he getting extra allowance since he was married, coz it was declared in his paystub that he has a dependent and its his Spouse?

3. He will be deployed on December in Afghanistan, and one of my Army Wife friends told me that I will be recieving Separation Pay from being deployed.

3. And since I'm already here, and wasted much time and effort on this crappy marriage which I thought is my HAPPY EVER AFTER, and I'm not really ready to go home in the Philippines after all these mess, I would like to start my new life here. How can I Lift my conditions, coz i will just be here for 2 years, and I should lift my conditions with my husband. I heard of WAIVERS, btu I don't know how that thing goes.

I know he wanted divorce quick, coz he knows that having a babies and Hospital Bills are far expensiveif you don't have any medical benefits, and since he was not married to his mistress, his mistress and his babies can't get any insurance.

4. Can I lift my conditions alone? I never lived with him since I was here in the US. I don't have any proofs that we have joint accounts? So i don't know if the waiver will be approved?

Again, I am sorry for a long message. And Thank you in advance. I know this will be a Yuckie Process, but I am not the type who will revenge, like taking allhis money and stuff, or even go to his mistress and slap her BIG TIME!

I'm lifting all up to GOD, I just know what's my right. I don't want him to get out of this situation that easy. I don'twant him to think that he can just find a girl, marry her, adn if he's no longer having fun with the relationship, he can just fool around with some girl he wants and just divorce me that easy.

I know there will be violent reaction on this, or with me...But I just want to be clear.

Again, Thank you so much...God Bless you all.

sorry to hear your story

LOSE THE SUCKER & BUM!

Starting again is better than being recycled by this scum again and again

I think he's insane

Good luck

God bless

[shawns40 0]

The advice here about the BAH/BAS here is right, obvisouly he has claimed you to recieved dependant rate BAH/BAQ, like was already stated here, the amount varys on your rank, and the area in which the military installation is located in. Now if he deploys and received seperation allowance, that is only 250 a month, he will recieve other allowances and tax free income from being deployed to a hazard duty zone, I should all add up to about 500 bucks a month or more.

You should contact his first seargent and let him know the situation, whether he likes it or not he is responsible for you, both financially and to provide housing etc etc, this responsiblity runs until the final divorce papers are signed and filed. Additionally he could be subject to UCMJ actions for committing adultery, though in the past this was hardly ever prosecuted, I see it more and more recently. Good luck in your juorney I hope it works out for you.