Does anyone else feel pressure from family?

[Donal78 0]

I know exactly how you feel. Everytime i talk to my parents back in ireland my dad always asks when can i work. He worries that we wont be able to cope financially on one wage. I explain countless times but they dont really understand the whole process. They just see black and white. They hear so many stories back in ireland of varrying degrees. I could work illegally but the risk is greater if i get caught as we plan to bide our time between ireland and the states over the next few years. It was much easier to immigrate to this counter before 9/11. But times change and we move on.

The upside of the whole thing is that if you are getting grief from you family or parents is because they care!!!

[babybunny 2]

My husband is gettting pressure from those asking him when he getting is visa.

my pressure comes from people telling me chit like - should have known you and javed would be apart. why not move to pakistan.

I hear that chit all the time.

[cguytx 0]

Too all the annoying friends of mine who tell me just to get my wife a tourist visa.... Thanks CutienPurg, I have a new line to use.

" so thats how it is eh , well damn silly me taking the long route"

I feel under so much pressure from both my family and my husband's family to get either him into the U.S. or me into Canada - none of them have any idea of how complicated and slow this process is - or how little power we have over the timing and outcome. I feel like they think we could get visas faster - and they don't realize that I've done everything in my power to get visas. They have had experiences from eras when it was a hell of a lot easier to immigrate, and they think it still works that way.

My husband too is from Canada and in our experience we have concluded the same thing.............most of our friends and family dont really see the US and Canada and separate countries. It's like they see it as going from one state to another. With the differences being so few between our two countries I sometimes forget its an international border Im crossing and subject to the same rules and restrictions as any other country.

I have a friend who is engaged to a man from England and she INSISTS that once they marry he automatically become a legal US citizen. After growing tired of debating the issue and after she firmly stated " well !! my finace' says so" I simply chuckled and wished her luck.

Misconceptions and misguided notions are rampant amongst those who are not having this experience .................sheeeesh just look at how much we ourselves have had to absorb and I personally still feel so clueless.

I've just found a way of dealing with those who pester and run them through the gammit of forms fees and immigration jargon which quickly sends them into a confused stupor. For those who think they have the answers (wrong) I just say " so thats how it is eh , well damn silly me taking the long route"

Good Luck and chins up

[nayalamb 0]

i understand!

i don't know why my family & friends think the US government is run like mcdonalds. (how i wish it were...)

"welcome to america, how can i help you?"

"hi, i got married and i need a green card, social security card and a drivers license please"

"okay. smile for the camera, stick your hands on the scanner and pay $500 to the first window, thank you."

"oh, and i need a job that pays over six figures with full benefits and an expense account."

"sure. just press A for business, B for tech, C for the arts, D for reality show star."

[ktmmansgal 0]

I sooo agree with you --- I have people from my old work that keep calling me and asking me if my husband is here yet --- "surely there is something you can do to speed this thing up" they will say --- or the one that getting married automatically gives you a free pass --- In my new job which I started in March began I just told these folks that my husband is working in England in Construction Management -- which is true --- but to avoid all the prying questions from my new co-workers and employees I just leave it at that ---he will be here hopefully soon unless he encounters delays --- keeps any new enquirers off the subject but then as far as my family --- I just say we dont know and we dont know why --- and change the subject --- lt seems that the only people that can begin to understand are those of us here.... sharing experiences, and crying on each others shoulders.... and sometimes congratulations sharing --- although lately that is not too often ---

[JenT 0]

I hear:

"So why don't you just get married in Germany. It's faster that way."

Like we haven't done our research and concluded that such an option was NOT faster at all...

[KaiserD 12]

I have a friend who is engaged to a man from England and she INSISTS that once they marry he automatically become a legal US citizen. After growing tired of debating the issue and after she firmly stated " well !! my finace' says so" I simply chuckled and wished her luck.

Boy is she in for a nasty surprise

[*Robert* 2]

I would not call it pressure as much as I would call it ignorance and annoying. My family assumes you can marry a foreigner and they can stay, as if the marriage certificate gives you automatic citizenship. The other one "can't he just get a work visa, so he can work and stay". Yeah let me just press the magic button and voila he is here for good legally!

You hit the nail on the head... its called ignorance, or to me more polite, lack of knoledge.

It's amazing how many people don't have a clue about the visa process, or how hard it is to get a visa. Many people asked me if my wife's family would come to our wedding, and I just shook my head! Like getting a tourist visa is no big deal, let alone an immigrant visa!

[KarenCee 3]

I saw times that I wanted to have a handout sheet ready to explain the whole freaking process whenever I got the question "so when's he coming?". It's not an easy question to answer! It's frustrating to have people ask you when your beloved is coming home, or when is this gonna happen, or that happen...even now I get the questions about my husband working "well, why doesn't he just go find a job?" well it ain't that easy! We wish it was! *sigh*

It's hard for anyone not familiar with this process to understand what it's all about. I had to remember that. I do remember saying that information about the immigration process was easy enough to google and read about (hint hint) but I seriously doubt anyone bothered to read. Just today I was asked "why didn't you just move to Canada?" SIGHS.......

That's another story.....

[Marilyn. 340]

My hubby's aunt thought Canada was a part of the United States and that I could just move on over with no probs

[Caladan 19]

My parents refuse to acknowledge that my boyfriend and I are a real couple. (3 years, 10 visits. Guess we're just really not good at the casual fling thing.)

I figure the visa process is a snap compared to getting my dad to admit that I have a boyfriend.

[kpathak 0]

I work for the Federal Government and get the "why can't you call someone from your office and get this taken care of" all the time from friends and family. I tell them that Uncle Bush is not accepting calls from me anymore -- especially the unsolicited ones :-)

My parents refuse to acknowledge that my boyfriend and I are a real couple. (3 years, 10 visits. Guess we're just really not good at the casual fling thing.)

I figure the visa process is a snap compared to getting my dad to admit that I have a boyfriend.

[LifenLaLaland 0]

I feel your pain!!

This is our second time with the family and friend questions. First my husband moved to Canada and when we found out that it would likely take him 3 years to get a work visa we decided to re-start our lives in the US. (I arrived March 12 2005 and was working April 1 2005 )

Some of you may remember us (Nick and Julie's Adventure) But we were very fortunate that we had family members who'd immigrated to Canada and the US in the mid-1950's and of course they were a wealth of knowledge and experience since that been there and done that.

For what it's worth, Nick still goes on the Canadian immigration board from time to time and see the same people patiently waiting and waiting 3 years later.

Good luck to all.

J