Dam Hoi

[BinhJerome 14]

Feel free to watch all 5 parts of my Dam Hoi video and count the people. 100's aren't needed.

2 people I know of that had Dam Hoi were considered small. I do not know how many the other person had, but i checked our registry we had 96 people arrive, we had 11 tables of 12 and we had 2 photos one from the front early with half of them filled, and one from the back when we were on stage where all but one was full, and 12 photos of us around each individual table with different family members in then, and they said it was not big enough, maybe they just threw that in for cuc and giggles, but it was one of the reasons for our denial, and the CO clearly said and I quote word for word from our denial paper "which many family members and friends,including those in the us, are invited to engagement celebrations numbering in the hundreds of guests for families of even modest means". ####### for tat, I agree on many they do not have hundreds, you might not have had them, but as this is a help forum, this is what was written on our denial WORD FOR WORD, so with that in mind it might be a issue for one person and not for another, but I wanted to make it clear that at least with our case it WAS a issue, do i feel it was a good issue, not in the least, but if I was handing out visa's instead of the CO, some that failed would have gotten theirs. But I am not a CO which sucks for Ly, Huong, and myself for starters as we would have our visas long ago. Good luck Scott in what you choose to do. Jerome

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Feel free to watch all 5 parts of my Dam Hoi video and count the people. 100's aren't needed.

2 people I know of that had Dam Hoi were considered small. I do not know how many the other person had, but i checked our registry we had 96 people arrive, we had 11 tables of 12 and we had 2 photos one from the front early with half of them filled, and one from the back when we were on stage where all but one was full, and 12 photos of us around each individual table with different family members in then, and they said it was not big enough, maybe they just threw that in for cuc and giggles, but it was one of the reasons for our denial, and the CO clearly said and I quote word for word from our denial paper "which many family members and friends,including those in the us, are invited to engagement celebrations numbering in the hundreds of guests for families of even modest means". ####### for tat, I agree on many they do not have hundreds, you might not have had them, but as this is a help forum, this is what was written on our denial WORD FOR WORD, so with that in mind it might be a issue for one person and not for another, but I wanted to make it clear that at least with our case it WAS a issue, do i feel it was a good issue, not in the least, but if I was handing out visa's instead of the CO, some that failed would have gotten theirs. But I am not a CO which sucks for Ly, Huong, and myself for starters as we would have our visas long ago. Good luck Scott in what you choose to do. Jerome

The more I learn about the consulate in HCM, the more I realize how little I know about them.

Sometimes a new member will post about their case and the reasons it got denied, and I'll read it and think "Yeah, I saw that coming. That case has so many red flags that it looks like a Chinese military parade!". Other times, someone will describe what seems like a very solid case, but they get denied anyway, and I'm left thinking "#######?!?! What does it take to convince these people?".

The reverse is also true, though not as often. Occasionally, someone will post about a case which is so thin that you'd think it would get denied in a heartbeat at any consulate in the world, and yet they get approved. Again, it leaves me thinking "#######?!?!".

The only conclusion I can draw is that you never know how much is "enough" with this consulate. We also don't see the cases as they would be seen by the CO's in HCM. We see the stories the members tell when they post here, but the impression we get from reading that story may be entirely different from the impression the CO gets when they read the petition package and documents presented by the beneficiary. Jerome, from what you posted in the AP thread, it also sounds like the CO found some information in your Lexis Nexis report that the CO thought conflicted with the information provided in your documents, and they used it as one of the reasons to deny your fiancee's visa. This is almost like a cruel joke. You do everything you can to try to address the red flags you know about, and then get blind sided by evidence you didn't even know existed.

I think the lesson here (if there is one) is that whatever you've got is never enough. You can't change the red flags that life has stuck you with prior to getting involved in this visa mess, other than address them as thoroughly as you can. However, when you do have a choice, then choose to go above and beyond what you think is necessary. I haven't yet heard of a case where a visa was denied, and the CO said "Sorry, your Dam Hoi was too darned big!".

BTW, if anyone consults with M.E. before submitting your petition, he'll probably recommend you get a copy of your Lexis Nexis report so that you'll know what the CO knows, and can hopefully address the issues in your petition. You can get a copy of your own report for no cost at choicepoint.com. You'll need to submit a request form and copies of your ID card.

[ScottThuy 140]

Did someone pour cold water on my Dam Hoi? Its shrinking fast.... Every time we talk about it, it gets smaller... now it has been changed from the family cooking and having at the home.. to us going to the home and then everyone going to a restaurant.. but the number of people is down to 12 now... I am affraid that the CO will want to know why so small.. I know that when it is a second marriage its not a big deal.. I am hoping the CO understands that... Where they live is out in the countryside and I know there are not alot of people out there.. but wow... 12?... I am thinking the number may start to grow again as we get closer....

[lindal24 1]

Of course, the end number is yours and Thuy's decision, and this is a second marriage for both, but do what you think is right. If it's a small engagement like what your saying, have it at the house with close friends and family. If you want to treat her, have it at a restaurant.

Just remember the advice you give to others - your evidence shouldn't be all from one event (reception/wedding) or phone logs, or visits. Make your evidence rock solid and you'll pass with flying colors!

[SuperDuper! 230]

Of course, the end number is yours and Thuy's decision, and this is a second marriage for both, but do what you think is right. If it's a small engagement like what your saying, have it at the house with close friends and family. If you want to treat her, have it at a restaurant.

Just remember the advice you give to others - your evidence shouldn't be all from one event (reception/wedding) or phone logs, or visits. Make your evidence rock solid and you'll pass with flying colors!

If I were going thru HCMC, I would just do a "shock and awe" approach and not F-around: Drop $10K USD minimum on my dam hoi, and have a real hootenanny. Hire 3 professional photogs, hire 1 person who's sole job is to sign in everyone at every table and write down some personal info on each of the 500 guests minimum. Put out tables into the street, and let anyone sit down who has some respectable clean clothes to wear. I would rent some expensive jewelry for love to wear.

The way I see it, I would potentially save money and time by not having to make 3 additional trips over to impress the CO.

Just sayin, I like to GO BIG or GO HOME.

Peace.

[b_weeks 6]

Here are a couple of pics....

[b_weeks 6]

Just for laughs.....

Does anyone KNOW any of these female impersonaters?????

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Ok, I'll jump into the fray. Some of these were taken by the professional photographer, and I scanned the printed photos. Some were taken with my camera, either by Phuong's son-in-law, or by myself.

First, the procession of the groom's "family". Obviously, there are mostly VN proxies standing in for my family. The only real members of my family are my sister and her husband, bringing up the rear.

The family of the bride, waiting to greet the procession. This is at Chua Tho Duc (a Buddhist temple) in Hue City.

The ceremony was inside the temple. This is a group photo afterward.

Ok, I had two big problems at the party. First, I had a throat infection about two weeks before going to VN. The infection made it's way to the nerve that controls the muscles on the right side of my face, resulting in a condition called Bell's palsy. The result was that the right side of my face was essentially paralyzed, making any attempt to smile look somewhat freakish. The condition gradually clears up, but it takes a couple of months, so I was stuck with this while in VN. Second, I didn't have time to dry my hair (which I wear long) before leaving the hotel because we were already running late (and also because Phuong's daughter spent a good amount of time lounging in the fancy water jet shower in the hotel room), so I left with my hair still wet, thinking it would dry eventually. It didn't, so I looked like a greaser the entire evening.

Greeting guests at the Nam Chau Hoi Quan restaurant. That tux is still in VN. I already had extra luggage to bring back, and didn't want to pay the airline for the extra bag. So, I bought a new tux, wore it once, and left it in VN.

Some random guest shots.

I think I snapped this pic of Phuong making her way back to the center table.

Some of our guests in front of the restaurant after the party. The kids belong to Phuong's brother Chuong. Her son Sang is in the foreground looking back at us.

[Dai. 7]

Damn Jim!! Thats a nice Vietnamese Dam Hoi/ Wedding... Those are some nice tables and decorations. The Venue looks pretty damn classy. You really didn't play when you planned your Dam Hoi/ Wedding huh???

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Damn Jim!! Thats a nice Vietnamese Dam Hoi/ Wedding... Those are some nice tables and decorations. The Venue looks pretty damn classy. You really didn't play when you planned your Dam Hoi/ Wedding huh???

I have to credit Phuong, and especially her son-in-law Vinh with making the arrangements. I just paid for it, but the price was very reasonable considering what we got.

The Nam Chau Hoi Quan is a complex of five restaurants. The 'campus' is specifically designed for weddings and engagement ceremonies. The main "Nam Chau" restaurant has a capacity of 1000 people! We rented one of the 'Areca Palm Perfume' restaurants. The other two are open air cafe's for more casual affairs.

http://www.namchauhoiquan.com/

If you ever need a venue for a similar purpose in Hue, I highly recommend it.

About 1/4 mile from there, in the same ward, is the 'Ancient Hue' restaurant. Definitely 5 star, and with prices to match ($80 for a meal for 7), but by far the finest meal I've had in Vietnam - traditional VN food, prepared in gourmet French style. Don't dress like a tourist for this one - wear slacks and a jacket.

http://www.ancienthue.com.vn/

[luckytxn 2,264]

Wow. My party was a lot less confusing and cheaper than everyone else that I wonder how I even got a visa at all. Sheesh.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Wow. My party was a lot less confusing and cheaper than everyone else that I wonder how I even got a visa at all. Sheesh.

You are just a rocking, awesome guy! (and maybe some folks just go overboard overkill. Just sayin'. ).