Dam Hoi

[ScottThuy 140]

I am watching Rogers Dam Hoi now.. The long version... Wow He married money.... Thuys family doesn't have a table... Linhs family has a really nice house... Great party Roger..

[b_weeks 6]

Let me clear up some things.

We had a party the night before the ceremony at her parents house, mainly for friends and family that could not make it to the ceremony and for the local commnity. We had a live band and the female impersonators performing.

Dam Hoi (Ceremony) in morning at her parents house (only about 30 people)

Pictures in the early afternoon

Dam Cuoi (Reception) that evening catered at a local business that just does these parties. We also had the same band and performers at the reception as the night before.

[Anh map 2,098]

That's not Linh's family house. That is the house of the folks that own the adjoining cafe. We got the food, drink, and house for $500 in 2006. $200 for the photographer. Jewelry $1200.

[lindal24 1]

Let me clear up some things.

We had a party the night before the ceremony at her parents house, mainly for friends and family that could not make it to the ceremony and for the local commnity. We had a live band and the female impersonators performing.

Dam Hoi (Ceremony) in morning at her parents house (only about 30 people)

Pictures in the early afternoon

Dam Cuoi (Reception) that evening catered at a local business that just does these parties. We also had the same band and performers at the reception as the night before.

Now THAT sounds about right! I think alot of other folks did this too if they're costs were as much as it was...

...they (and I'm presuming you) didn't register for the marriage certificate so you guys weren't technically married when you filed...

That's not Linh's family house. That is the house of the folks that own the adjoining cafe. We got the food, drink, and house for $500 in 2006. $200 for the photographer. Jewelry $1200.

That's a really good deal for everything that I saw in your video. Maybe too much on jewelry, but I'm sure she's putting it to good use!!

[Anh map 2,098]

Let me clear up some things.

We had a party the night before the ceremony at her parents house, mainly for friends and family that could not make it to the ceremony and for the local commnity. We had a live band and the female impersonators performing.

Dam Hoi (Ceremony) in morning at her parents house (only about 30 people)

Pictures in the early afternoon

Dam Cuoi (Reception) that evening catered at a local business that just does these parties. We also had the same band and performers at the reception as the night before.

Now THAT sounds about right! I think alot of other folks did this too if they're costs were as much as it was...

...they (and I'm presuming you) didn't register for the marriage certificate so you guys weren't technically married when you filed...

That's not Linh's family house. That is the house of the folks that own the adjoining cafe. We got the food, drink, and house for $500 in 2006. $200 for the photographer. Jewelry $1200.

That's a really good deal for everything that I saw in your video. Maybe too much on jewelry, but I'm sure she's putting it to good use!!

hahaha No problem getting use for the jewelry.

I know that prices have gone up quite a bit in VN in the last year, but should still be able to get a memorable ceremony and party for a couple of grand.

[ScottThuy 140]

When I first started going to VN the exchange rate was 15,000 VND or so for 1 USD.... the exchange rate has been near 18,000 for some time and even though our dollar buys 20% more Dong, the prices are even higher now... the sad part is that the costs of goods are rising in VN but the wages have not... imports that are based on the value of the dollar are becoming out of reach for the average VNC. Gold happens to be going up worldwide and based on the value of the dollar so it has gone through the roof in VN...

[Dau Que 6]

When I first started going to VN the exchange rate was 15,000 VND or so for 1 USD.... the exchange rate has been near 18,000 for some time and even though our dollar buys 20% more Dong, the prices are even higher now... the sad part is that the costs of goods are rising in VN but the wages have not... imports that are based on the value of the dollar are becoming out of reach for the average VNC. Gold happens to be going up worldwide and based on the value of the dollar so it has gone through the roof in VN...

When I go shopping and wanna buy goods made in Vietnam, like tennis shoes, etc at WalMart, I want the cheapest price. I'm pretty sure most other shoppers will be the same. Why pay more when you don't have to? And the result from this type of greed behavior?

Gee, I wonder why those people's wages haven't gone up to keep up with COLA?

[BinhJerome 14]

Scott, one of the reasons for our denialis what you were talking about doing, a small Dam Hoi, I recommend that you do not do one small, we had 100 guests and they said ours was small for Vietnam standards and it was one of many reasons for our denial, they had a big problem with where I lived, which I do not understand as I am registered to my address, but I feel a small Dam Hoi would hurt, this is the second that I know of that got those same reasons. They seem to demand that we have hundreds of people at a Dam Hoi.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Scott, one of the reasons for our denialis what you were talking about doing, a small Dam Hoi, I recommend that you do not do one small, we had 100 guests and they said ours was small for Vietnam standards and it was one of many reasons for our denial, they had a big problem with where I lived, which I do not understand as I am registered to my address, but I feel a small Dam Hoi would hurt, this is the second that I know of that got those same reasons. They seem to demand that we have hundreds of people at a Dam Hoi.

Jerome, I had the same concern about our engagement celebration. I didn't get an exact count, but from the number of tables I would guess we had about 120 guests. I talked to her uncle about it, and he told me that anyone who knew her family would know that every important family in her village was well represented, and that the only way we could have gotten more people would have been to invite a bunch of strangers. In many cases, not everyone in each household could come because the celebration was on a Friday evening, and some people had to work. We had no control over the day - it was chosen by a fortune teller, but each household made sure that somebody came to represent the household.

In the end, you can only do what you're able to do, and hope for the best. I think the CO's in HCM are sometimes irrational about the degree to which they expect the relationship to conform to Vietnamese cultural norms. No matter how you slice it, a relationship between two people who live 10,000 miles apart is not going to conform 100% to those cultural norms. I think they also sometimes conveniently ignore the fact that one of the two people in the relationship is an American, even if they are Viet Kieu, and that American culture may play a role in how the relationship develops. I also think the CO's often use the culture and tradition excuse when they are just suspicious of the relationship, and don't have any real evidence to use for denial.

Unfortunately, it's difficult for us to know exactly what the CO's are thinking when they issue a blue slip.

[Anh map 2,098]

Feel free to watch all 5 parts of my Dam Hoi video and count the people. 100's aren't needed.

[ScottThuy 140]

I watched them all, I hope ours is as beautiful...I just got a call from one of my employers and they have an outstanding balance of 2k for a long way back.. she said she was sorry and remit ASAP... This Dam Hoi could be bigger than planned if she wants but I dont think thats the way they want it. Thuy said that they only want family there that its not a big deal and the house is not big enough for alot of people... I asked how many tables and she said no... I said no what? No tables we eat the same as when you were there before.. (mats on the floor) .. we are looking to have pictures with everyone that is within reach while we are there... We dont have many pictures of us aside from the studio as I am the one that always takes the pics.. I was lucky that I had my son take some when we were there in Apr. but I do have a gtreat many of the two of them... I think that is a good thing as it shows a family together on holiday for weeks at a time. This trip for the Dam Hoi and medical will be our 4th visit together... a month and a half total... I am hoping the dam hoi size will not be a make it or break it with the CO. The get well cards will say alot if they look at them...

[lindal24 1]

Feel free to watch all 5 parts of my Dam Hoi video and count the people. 100's aren't needed.

I watched all 5 parts... I'd consider your Dam Hoi big (in my VN terms...)

Mine had approximately 25-30 people?? But that's just the whole procession line/gifts, and then the praying at the house--AND very low key... The wedding that followed that afternoon had 300+... ...but it could be different scenarios since my engagement ceremony and wedding were the same day.

[lindal24 1]

I watched them all, I hope ours is as beautiful...I just got a call from one of my employers and they have an outstanding balance of 2k for a long way back.. she said she was sorry and remit ASAP... This Dam Hoi could be bigger than planned if she wants but I dont think thats the way they want it. [b]Thuy said that they only want family there that its not a big deal and the house is not big enough for alot of people... I asked how many tables and she said no... I said no what? No tables we eat the same as when you were there before.. (mats on the floor)[/b] .. we are looking to have pictures with everyone that is within reach while we are there... We dont have many pictures of us aside from the studio as I am the one that always takes the pics.. I was lucky that I had my son take some when we were there in Apr. but I do have a gtreat many of the two of them... I think that is a good thing as it shows a family together on holiday for weeks at a time. This trip for the Dam Hoi and medical will be our 4th visit together... a month and a half total... I am hoping the dam hoi size will not be a make it or break it with the CO. The get well cards will say alot if they look at them...

you guys are going to "nhau"...lol. Good for ya'll! I hope it works out for you guys...

[Anh map 2,098]

I remember seeing a lot of parties extending out into the road. The folks put up the tents into the road and the parties began. LOL

[ScottThuy 140]

I remember seeing a lot of parties extending out into the road. The folks put up the tents into the road and the parties began. LOL

The way Thuy explained it to me, was that the more red boxes, the more expensive, and the same applied to the # of people/tables ... she said big parties had 10 or 12 boxes... small had 5...

Edited October 30, 2009 by ScottThuy