Dam Hoi

[ScottThuy 140]

They will cook everything and I am having Thuy take care of most of the red boxes.. I will wear a nice suit and I think we only need to deal with what she will wear and the jewelry... I want to do the whole pig thing though and that may need to be outsourced...

[lindal24 1]

That seems like a lot...Maybe the 2-3k includes the necklace and bracelet? Is she referring to the solid gold traditional pieces??

Linda, That may be... I have many friends in the US that are in the jewelry business and can have anything made, but I had no luck finding pictures of anything traditional... I am leary of buying gold in VN with the cost of gold being up as high as it is, I am affraid the vendor may have cut costs somewhere....

I was under the impression that the wedding party was a little bigger as well... and the Dam Hoi was the family announcing to everyone she is off the market...

Wow Jim... sounds great.... I agree with linda.. sounds like full blown a Dam Cuoi to me.. lol..

Thanks everyone.. this is shedding alot of light to someone that does not know all of these details that are involved in VN culture.. the websites that go into detail are all in VN and I get lost real quick as my vietnamese reading and speaking is still at a first grade level or below...

Now that I recall, that gold jewelry was exchanged prior to the wedding, not the engagement. But the jewelry that I am referring to is the solid gold ring piece that sits on the neck (not flexible, and not everyday jewelry...). But during the engagement, there was jewelry exchanged, just not as pricy and probably more wearer friendly . You could get her a really nice combo earring/necklace/bracelet set for about $100-300, or follow western tradition and get her a rock for 3-6months salary (if you haven't already)... I'm sure she'd LOVE that!!

Just to give you a little background as to what goes on during the traditional engagement ceremony, the groom typically goes to the bride's residence and presents her with gifts and offering for her family. This includes fruit, tea, roasted pork, etc. in the large red containers that are covered with a red velvety fabric. During the ceremony, the MC (usually a family member) does the introductions and then both sides of the family says a few words to congratulate the pair on their engagement, pray for their success and happiness, and pray to/for the families ancestors. There is also a "tea service" to the in-laws out of respect and tradition. After everything is said and done, the family eats and drinks.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Just to give you a little background as to what goes on during the traditional engagement ceremony, the groom typically goes to the bride's residence and presents her with gifts and offering for her family. This includes fruit, tea, roasted pork, etc. in the large red containers that are covered with a red velvety fabric. During the ceremony, the MC (usually a family member) does the introductions and then both sides of the family says a few words to congratulate the pair on their engagement, pray for their success and happiness, and pray to/for the families ancestors. There is also a "tea service" to the in-laws out of respect and tradition. After everything is said and done, the family eats and drinks.

We did all that. We just didn't do it at Phuong's mother's home. The procession of the groom's family bearing gifts was up the drive to the pagoda, and the presentation and introductions were done in the courtyard and landing in front of the pagoda, including the rice wine and bitter fruit. My sister and brother in-law were there to represent my family. Between the familial part of the ceremony and the food, there was a Buddhist service inside the pagoda. The Buddhist service was the part I hadn't seen at other Dam Hoi ceremonies. 20 minutes of chanting, kneeling, bowing, and standing.

[ScottThuy 140]

Now that I recall, that gold jewelry was exchanged prior to the wedding, not the engagement. But the jewelry that I am referring to is the solid gold ring piece that sits on the neck (not flexible, and not everyday jewelry...). But during the engagement, there was jewelry exchanged, just not as pricy and probably more wearer friendly . You could get her a really nice combo earring/necklace/bracelet set for about $100-300, or follow western tradition and get her a rock for 3-6months salary (if you haven't already)... I'm sure she'd LOVE that!!

I think that she has the Dam Cuoi and the Dam Hoi combined in some ways.. We will do a Dam Hoi and I will bring jewelry from here.. the necklace she described is exactly like you describe.

[Anh map 2,098]

If she wants to show off bling to the family and friends then get some big CZ for the show. Linh's earrings and ring cost more than the entire Dam Hoi celebration.

My MIL did most of the food and decorating. I do think that the beer cost more than the food. Wasn't at Linh's house as her dad had passed away a few monthes earlier.

[vietazn 1]

300 for food, drinks

700 for ring

50 for 2 ao dai

100 gifts

50 decorations, flowers, cake

$1200 sounds good

[SuperDuper! 230]

When I see that many of you bring the liquor from the US, it leads me to believe liquor is more expensive in Vtnm.

I gotta hand it to you guys in the strict cultural rituals that you must fulfill in order to win approval of your woman's visa.

Looking at the pics here, I can see why you are willing to jump thru all the cultural hoops. Exotic, young, petite beauties they are, with a heart of gold. But hey, the Pinays are not chopped liver, either.

I guess I'm spoiled with the relative simplicity in the Phils. For a big shin dig, all I have to do is buy my girl a $50 dollar pig for uncle to butcher and roast, buy some Red Horse beer and rice, and thats about it.

Cheers.

[ScottThuy 140]

If she wants to show off bling to the family and friends then get some big CZ for the show. Linh's earrings and ring cost more than the entire Dam Hoi celebration.

My MIL did most of the food and decorating. I do think that the beer cost more than the food. Wasn't at Linh's house as her dad had passed away a few monthes earlier.

Good idea Roger.. I could have boat a nice boat for what I paid for the ring.. They have no idea about that though... The CZ ear rings and some elegant necklace and bracelet of similar style would sure make them happy... she just wants to be with me... only 31 days... At least I will know the real quality of what I get here... a tiara sounds like a nice twist also...

It looks like everything will be far less than a grand... She gets to go furniture shopping when she gets here now.. I was worried about that for a bit... I think that will be a great way for her to feel like she is in her own home when she is the one that picked out the furniture... and decided were it goes decorates etc...

[Anh map 2,098]

Ok Scott you insipred me to load the video on YouTube. Funny thing is the cheesy music got two of the parts banned in Germany for copyright issues. Too funny.

Follow the link to part 1 of our video. All 4 parts are there.

Link to Dam Hoi Video

[Việt Kiều 2]

Nice Video Anh Map, those are cheesy music playing... I hate it when Vietnamese editors put funny music like that on wedding video, they all seem generic, It's like when they thought it was cool in the 80's and then they keep on doing it till this day. I got a kick out of when changed colors and you turned green like you were the hulk. "You won't like him when he's angry!"

[b_weeks 6]

WOW, some of you guys prices for the Dam Hoi are on the expensive side considering what you got.

Trang and I had the following:

(based on exchange rate of about 16000VND for 1 USD at the time)

350 guests, a HUGE 5 course meal, 24 cases of TIGER BEER (40oz bottles), champagne, cake - 24,000,00 VND or about $1500 USD

Dress Rentql - 4,800,000 VND or about $300 USD (1 Ao Dai and 3 dresses for the Dam Hoi)

Band - (Including 7 female impersonators or Beday, not sure how it's spelled) 3,200,000 VND or about $200 USD (Played 2 nights - once at her families house the night before, and the Dam Hoi)

Gold Jewelry - 16,000,000 VND or about $1000 USD

Car & Van Rental - 1,000,000 VND or about $60 USD (1 car and 2 vans)

Photograpgher & Videographer - 10,000,000 VND or about $625 USD (3 disc DVD video done VN style, 5 HUGE portraits, 750 pictures, picture cd, and VN style wedding album)

TOTAL: Roughly about $3600 USD or 57,600,000 VND

Edited October 27, 2009 by b_weeks

[ScottThuy 140]

WOW, some of you guys prices for the Dam Hoi are on the expensive side considering what you got.

Trang and I had the following:

(based on exchange rate of about 16000VND for 1 USD at the time)

350 guests, a HUGE 5 course meal, 24 cases of TIGER BEER (40oz bottles), champagne, cake - 24,000,00 VND or about $1500 USD

Dress Rentql - 4,800,000 VND or about $300 USD (1 Ao Dai and 3 dresses for the Dam Hoi)

Band - (Including 7 female impersonators or Beday, not sure how it's spelled) 3,200,000 VND or about $200 USD (Played 2 nights - once at her families house the night before, and the Dam Hoi)

Gold Jewelry - 16,000,000 VND or about $1000 USD

Car & Van Rental - 1,000,000 VND or about $60 USD (1 car and 2 vans)

Photograpgher & Videographer - 10,000,000 VND or about $625 USD (3 disc DVD video done VN style, 5 HUGE portraits, 750 pictures, picture cd, and VN style wedding album)

TOTAL: Roughly about $3600 USD or 57,600,000 VND

Was the jewelry the type that Linda mentioned? did that include her ring?

[b_weeks 6]

WOW, some of you guys prices for the Dam Hoi are on the expensive side considering what you got.

Trang and I had the following:

(based on exchange rate of about 16000VND for 1 USD at the time)

350 guests, a HUGE 5 course meal, 24 cases of TIGER BEER (40oz bottles), champagne, cake - 24,000,00 VND or about $1500 USD

Dress Rentql - 4,800,000 VND or about $300 USD (1 Ao Dai and 3 dresses for the Dam Hoi)

Band - (Including 7 female impersonators or Beday, not sure how it's spelled) 3,200,000 VND or about $200 USD (Played 2 nights - once at her families house the night before, and the Dam Hoi)

Gold Jewelry - 16,000,000 VND or about $1000 USD

Car & Van Rental - 1,000,000 VND or about $60 USD (1 car and 2 vans)

Photograpgher & Videographer - 10,000,000 VND or about $625 USD (3 disc DVD video done VN style, 5 HUGE portraits, 750 pictures, picture cd, and VN style wedding album)

TOTAL: Roughly about $3600 USD or 57,600,000 VND

Was the jewelry the type that Linda mentioned? did that include her ring?

That did not include her engagement ring. The necklace that Lindal mentioned is the same. Some people keep them, some people sell them after the ceremony. We kept everything, as we aren't pressed for money. We ended up with about 4 gold rings, 3 or 4 bracelets, and 2 or 3 necklaces right after the ceremony. Add another $2000 to that for her ring, earings, and a small necklace (all diamonds) But I didn't really include it in the price of the Dam Hoi. Not sure why.

Now, I forgot to mention. The decorated box at the entrance of the reception (sorry, dont know the VN name for it) where everyone puts the envelopes with money in it. we received about 26,000,000 VND in it.

So 57.600.000 minus 26.000.000 = 31.600.000 or $1975 USD

[ScottThuy 140]

and this was all for the Dam Hoi not a Dam Cuoi? I thought the money etc was done at the Dam Cuoi...

[lindal24 1]

LOL...I think your damn hoi is a little on the expensive side!!

What I don't understand is how/why everyone had a HUGE Dam Hoi reception when I thought traditionally it is supposed to be a small (~25-50 people...) family event . I understand that some people did it to satisfy family and others did it because they figure that's what the CO's expecting, but wow...

Photograpgher & Videographer - 10,000,000 VND or about $625 USD (3 disc DVD video done VN style, 5 HUGE portraits, 750 pictures, picture cd, and VN style wedding album)

You got a great deal on this though for $625 USD...expecially if it included the VN style wedding album (that is a hard cover book...)