Why Women Should not take Men Shopping

[sunandmoon 450]

Why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from

the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT"S THOSE VOICES

AGAIN!"

And last, but not least

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,

John Jones

Wal Mart Manager

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

That sound about what i would do...too :rofl:

[sara..... 371]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

family member is working at wal mart and is going to print out that and take it to work that is some funny funny stuff

sara

[MonkeyJuice 3]

Now that's just giving men on here ideas!

[Christi and Ian 24]

[David-and-Mae 15]

Good one, Roy! I'm still cracking up and will definitely copy-paste this and send it to David!

My husband hates Wal-Mart... I LOVE IT! He can usually last 30 minutes of doing the grocery shopping then will announce "let's get out of here" afterwards. I guess it's the people in there that's driving him nuts... especially those with kids (mom or dad yelling "you get as$ here or I'll whip it like you never had it before). He likes our neighborhood grocery store though...

[o0pink0o 3]

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I like peeling the magnetic stickers off the packages and hiding them on the shopping carts. It drives the door greaters crazy when they can't find out what is causing the alarms to go off.

[DARUMA07 25]

....... Needed that Roy!

[marklovetina 52]

Why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from

the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT"S THOSE VOICES

AGAIN!"

And last, but not least

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,

John Jones

Wal Mart Manager

hahahaha.. this is funny....

[Psoas10 17]

My wife loves at Walmart. Also it is a big help when she can speak to the associates in Ilocano when English does not work. 99% of the workers are Ilocano at our Walmart.

[sweet angel 5]

so funny that i did hide my face on my desk at work so boss will not hear me laughing so loud! Edited October 26, 2009 by sweet angel

[rheanick 42]

I dont really shop in Wal-mart. But this is way too funny!