ever feel like you are disappointing your loved ones when they ask about your case?

[Free Jerusalem 0]

Hello,

It was "comforting" reading this thread. I feel so alone and just am so tired of telling my family "everything is still in a standstill, nothing has changed." And, I have supportive co-workers and they ask me about my fiance cause they have met him. But-- this journey has been soo tough and we have had such big road blocks but it seems god is helping us and moving the road blocks but it is taking a really long time.

We already had to go through the j1--waiver and now another 5 months for the k1.

I really really miss my fiance!!! ;(

I'm sure you miss him , i hope you get good news soon

I don't know if I feel like I'm disappointing them, but it's certainly a stressor on all of us. Communication helps, though--I call my wife daily and give her updates (and I in turn am driving both my Senator and the NVC crazy, I know) and as a result I think everyone understands that everything that can be done, has been. I imagine if we were in AP the situation would be different--the complete lack of transparency is maddening. My heart goes out to you--the process is just miserable. But like Kathryn said, you're doing this for each other--in the end, as long as your husband understands and sympathizes with you and the process, the others are just ancillary.

thank you for your kind words!

I have been thinking about this for quite a while now...I wonder if i am the only one? Sometimes i feel guilty and almost like i am disappointing my loved ones (sisters and parents especially) when they ask whats going on with my husbands case. I feel like i almost want to lie and tell them everything is okay, even though i THINK we are stuck in AP. (had an interview on September 11,2009 and they needed more documents form us, finally got everything sent in Wednesday ad got a weird call from them on Friday asking questions already available to them such as the DOB of my husbands parents)

When me and my husband went for our interview, our families were so nervous and worried for us and it made US feel bad. We really feel like we are causing them stress you know ??? Neways we know we are always in their prayers, i just cant help to think how much they must worry about the case

So, are we the only ones who feel this way?

What if your fiance's family is not very supportive?? He's really sad that his family isn't getting more involved, and that they won't be coming over here for the wedding. I know that he wants to come and that this is what it takes for us to be together, but I wish they could just be happy for us. How do I let that go and just focus on the journey we have ahead of us??? It's so hard!

I'm crushed and needed to vent! Thank you for listening. It's so nice to be able to talk to people who are going through the same things as me!!!!

Its a shame his family is not supportive and getting more involved. i am sorry You can make up for it by showing him you care, and i am sure you already do that.

[Free Jerusalem 0]

I actually feel like they are letting me down when they say things that are not supportive. I mean this process is difficult enough without family or friends insinuating he could be here any quicker. Some days are harder than others. But every day apart is hard. I think what it comes down to is that only couples going through this process can fully appreciate the anguish, stress, hardship,patience (um still working on it!) and team work this takes. It will all be worth it in the end and I believe we will be a stronger couple because we have already survived this together. Best of luck! Try not to let anyone (even your family) make you feel like you are letting them down! Ouf loved ones should be supporting us through this difficult time but as in my own case it is not happening for a lot of people. There is nothing we can do to change them but we can change how we let it affect us.

I feel the same way about the lack of support! My family has ignored the fact that I've been engaged for almost 5 months even though my brother and his fiancee got a lot of support. Another thing that has really sucked has been people asking me if I've seen Made of Honor. My mom handed me a copy of it so I watched it. If it weren't for this forum it'd be a lot tougher.

OP yes, I feel like my family is disappointed in me for wanting to marry someone they don't know. I don't like this wait at all and they never ask me for any info on it.

Gosh, i am living in heaven compared to some people. My parents and family are always the ones asking, i never like to start the topic first. I am sorry they are not supportive. why did they support your brother but not you ?! that's insane.

[Free Jerusalem 0]

I actually feel like they are letting me down when they say things that are not supportive. I mean this process is difficult enough without family or friends insinuating he could be here any quicker. Some days are harder than others. But every day apart is hard. I think what it comes down to is that only couples going through this process can fully appreciate the anguish, stress, hardship,patience (um still working on it!) and team work this takes. It will all be worth it in the end and I believe we will be a stronger couple because we have already survived this together. Best of luck! Try not to let anyone (even your family) make you feel like you are letting them down! Ouf loved ones should be supporting us through this difficult time but as in my own case it is not happening for a lot of people. There is nothing we can do to change them but we can change how we let it affect us.

I feel the same way about the lack of support! My family has ignored the fact that I've been engaged for almost 5 months even though my brother and his fiancee got a lot of support. Another thing that has really sucked has been people asking me if I've seen Made of Honor. My mom handed me a copy of it so I watched it. If it weren't for this forum it'd be a lot tougher.

OP yes, I feel like my family is disappointed in me for wanting to marry someone they don't know. I don't like this wait at all and they never ask me for any info on it.

My sister is getting married too and our middle sis is her maid of honor. A week before I left for Scotland to get married she invited everyoe to her home for an engagement party for my younger sis. I really believed it was a surprise party for me but it wasnt. Then I got home after wedding and they waited 3 months until he visited me to even give us cards. It really hurt. People keep acting as if he has a choice and has decided not to be here. No one seems to get how hard this is every single day we are apart.

btw Made of honor was sooo ridiculous. Eilean Donan castle is in the film and you dont need a ferry or a long drive to the castle! It is really cool. We have loads of pics from honeymoon.

OMG.... some people just have no hearts! I am sorry .... i feel so bad.