Getting her out of vacation mode

[SuperDuper! 230]

Visaveteran, FFS. I'm 23 and AMERICAN and I do things around the house AND go to work. Your generalizations are ridiculous.

eekee, to some of these men, american women are fat, disgusting, lazy, money-grubbing b!tches. it's obvious that some american woman who was once perfectly fine to marry or date completely fkd them over, and now they cover their insecurities with snide generalizations OR no young, sexy, american girl is blind enough to date them.

DISCLAIMER: i am not referring to some of the fine gentleman on here, just the frequent offenders.

Wow, Amber, now we are all guilty men until proven innocent

[SuperDuper! 230]

Visaveteran, FFS. I'm 23 and AMERICAN and I do things around the house AND go to work. Your generalizations are ridiculous.

eekee, to some of these men, american women are fat, disgusting, lazy, money-grubbing b!tches. it's obvious that some american woman who was once perfectly fine to marry or date completely fkd them over, and now they cover their insecurities with snide generalizations OR no young, sexy, american girl is blind enough to date them.

DISCLAIMER: i am not referring to some of the fine gentleman on here, just the frequent offenders.

I find the "get a simple village girl to do everything for you!!!" attitude kind of gross. And I don't understand why some people on here are hellbent on insulting a group that in all likelihood includes their mother/sister/daughter/etc. Yes, cultural differences in love and relationships exist, but that doesn't mean that I think negatively about American men and find the need to insult them at every turn.

Sorry, guy, but there is some truth in the village/province girl vs big city girl. My experience is in the PI, and let me tell you, these stereotypes have a lot of truth in them. I have a true and sincere village girl now, after experiencing the ruthless, cold heart of the big city girl. Sometimes the truth is hard to take, but such is life. Peace.

Edited October 25, 2009 by itzallgood

[Christi and Ian 24]

Unattractive people can be found anywhere in the world, whether they be physically unattractive (although taste is completely subjective, and varies widely from person to person), or just have an "ugly personality".

Relationships are also individual experiences, and it is impossible to generalize any group of people based on an individual experience with one or even a handful.

Making assumptions or generalizing ANY group of people is just ignorant.

FYI, I met my husband here, in California. My attraction to him had nothing to do with any bad/good experience with any American man I have known. I've known wonderful American men, and I've known horrible American men. Again, each person has there own, unique experiences, and their own, unique personalities and qualities and should be judged based on their own merits.

As far as the "mail order bride" comments made by some American women, that's just despicable and hurtful. My loud, American self, would put them in their place immediately for such a rude and insensitive comment.

[Brad and Vika 129]

And here I go with the serial posts. Only 797 more to go Gary

Amber, as you know Gary mostly puts forward really helpful information for us. I have talked to him quite a bit, and I think I know where the nasty edge to the sarcasm comes from - I have it too. As men who married Ukrainians whom we met just like we would any other lady, we are generally just sick of the "mail order" criticism we get from lots of Americans, the majority from women. In a weak moment, it is easy to turn the tables and retort "well what do you expect - look at yourselves". I know he doesn't dislike American or other women, he is just fed up. For the record, the men and women who meet foreigners online are knocked constantly for doing the same thing as American's do on Facebook, Eharmony, or Match.com. Rant over.

Edited October 25, 2009 by Brad and Vika

[visaveteran 1]

Visaveteran, FFS. I'm 23 and AMERICAN and I do things around the house AND go to work. Your generalizations are ridiculous.

I can only speak from my experience and observations. If you are the exception, good for you, but I look at magnitude and degree and what is the preponderance of things. And it is interesting you also seem to prefer foreigners over Americans. Maybe you too understand things are out of whack in the USA dating scene.

American men may at times just randomly end up with foreign brides, but for the majority it is an intentional mission to choose a woman not from America. This is a sociological phenomena and there are observable reasons for this to be happening. American men and women don't mix so well anymore and gender role confusion and the counter-productive and divisive feminist movement with ensuing power struggles with men have had an impact.

I think American men have been lost around what it means to be a man, and to enjoy a sane and uplifting relationship with a woman, for a number of generations. When these confused men finally meet a Russian woman, things fall into place. The gender roles align again. Interactions are based on a man being the head of the house with the woman serving that reality, and being happy and content with this arrangement. This style of relationship continues even when the Russian wife goes out to work a job.

This is, of course, the ideal situation which I was fortunate enough to find, although it took lots of time, money and fortitude. But the outcome has far surpassed my expectations of what is possible when a woman stands with you, as opposed to standing against you...or in competition with you for power. The "Ying/Yang" energy, if you will, has found its correct balance.

The thing that angers American women the most, IMJ, is that Russian brides LIKE to be of service to their husbands and don't see it as demeaning or weak or exploitative. And Russian women have the exact opposite views about sex then their American sisters. Sex is expected and happily offered, and is not used as a bargaining chip or control mechanism or occasional gift.

Russian women also still believe in dressing nicely and using make-up EVERYDAY. They enjoy looking good if only just for their husband...no sloppy sweat pants or worn out jeans around the house. For me, this is one of those things that really contrasts Russian and American women in my many observations.

To add to it all, Russian women are very well educated, have common sense, and carry themselves proudly and with grace...and like being seen as sexy. Is it any wonder we men go to such lengths to find a FSU wife?

Caveat: Age and other demographics may effect your mileage.

[SuperDuper! 230]

And here I go with the serial posts. Only 797 more to go Gary

Amber, as you know Gary mostly puts forward really helpful information for us. I have talked to him quite a bit, and I think I know where the nasty edge to the sarcasm comes from - I have it too. As men who married Ukrainians whom we met just like we would any other lady, we are generally just sick of the "mail order" criticism we get from lots of Americans, the majority from women. In a weak moment, it is easy to turn the tables and retort "well what do you expect - look at yourselves". I know he doesn't dislike American or other women, he is just fed up. For the record, the men and women who go online are knocked constantly for doing the same thing as American do on Facebook, Eharmony, or Match.com. Rant over.

Brad, you bring up a GREAT topic, and I will resist stealing your idea, and will not post it as a poll or new topic, regarding how we MEN feel about the label of "Mail Order Brides (MOB)." I did see that program on the history channel, about those 3 men going to Russia and using OlgasList. very interesting.

Well for me, I am a bit more easy going, and take a different perspective. I wear "MOB" as a badge of honor. 'Cause most of the time, friends may use MOB in an endearing way, to poke fun at you, but it is good-natured teasing. To anyone who is using MOB in a disparaging way, it will likely mean they are jealous, especially if it comes from an old nag hag bag american woman who is bitter and broken and 78 Lbs overweight. Maybe her hubby left her for a petite asian or russian woman 15 years younger than he.

The way I joke about MOB critics is this: "Every older man wants a MOB, but not all can afford the postage.

Peace be with you, and here is an internet classic pic to sum up my post.

[Christi and Ian 24]

I can only speak from my experience and observations. If you are the exception, good for you, but I look at magnitude and degree and what is the preponderance of things. And it is interesting you also seem to prefer foreigners over Americans. Maybe you too understand things are out of whack in the USA dating scene.

There are 300 million people spread over 300 million square miles in 50 different states in this country. How in the world can you claim that you understand the magnitude and degree of the preponderance of anything unless you've spent a lifetime researching?

Based on the microcosm of people I've met in California, Iowa, Texas, Hawaii, Washington, Nebraska, Nevada, Pennsylvania etc, etc, people's attitudes towards everything vary widely from state to state and region to region. We are no less diverse in this country than in any other. Someone from the Pennsylvania Amish country will have widely different ways of viewing/doing things than someone from Los Angeles, CA, Salt Lake City, UT, Dallas, TX or Nome, AK...

Edited October 25, 2009 by Christi and Ian

[visaveteran 1]

I can only speak from my experience and observations. If you are the exception, good for you, but I look at magnitude and degree and what is the preponderance of things. And it is interesting you also seem to prefer foreigners over Americans. Maybe you too understand things are out of whack in the USA dating scene.

There are 300 million people spread over 300 million square miles in 50 different states in this country. How in the world can you claim that you understand the magnitude and degree of the preponderance of anything unless you've spent a lifetime researching?

Based on the microcosm of people I've met in California, Iowa, Texas, Hawaii, Washington, Nebraska, Nevada, Pennsylvania etc, etc, people's attitudes towards everything vary widely from state to state and region to region. We are no less diverse in this country than in any other. Someone from the Pennsylvania Amish country will have widely different ways of viewing/doing things than someone from Los Angeles, CA, Salt Lake City, UT, Dallas, TX or Nome, AK...

I'm a sociologist.

[Christi and Ian 24]

I can only speak from my experience and observations. If you are the exception, good for you, but I look at magnitude and degree and what is the preponderance of things. And it is interesting you also seem to prefer foreigners over Americans. Maybe you too understand things are out of whack in the USA dating scene.

There are 300 million people spread over 300 million square miles in 50 different states in this country. How in the world can you claim that you understand the magnitude and degree of the preponderance of anything unless you've spent a lifetime researching?

Based on the microcosm of people I've met in California, Iowa, Texas, Hawaii, Washington, Nebraska, Nevada, Pennsylvania etc, etc, people's attitudes towards everything vary widely from state to state and region to region. We are no less diverse in this country than in any other. Someone from the Pennsylvania Amish country will have widely different ways of viewing/doing things than someone from Los Angeles, CA, Salt Lake City, UT, Dallas, TX or Nome, AK...

I'm a sociologist.

So? In pursuing your degree, did you meet all 300 million people?

[MonkeyJuice 3]

We all have opinions & views on how a relationship should be & what we expect from our partner so why keep digging up old arguments?

I'd love to see a thread like this that have a peaceful conclusion but it seems like it's turning into another 'Third K1 visa' saga!...good entertainment though on cold, dreary Sunday afternoon.

[amberdima 6]

And here I go with the serial posts. Only 797 more to go Gary

Amber, as you know Gary mostly puts forward really helpful information for us. I have talked to him quite a bit, and I think I know where the nasty edge to the sarcasm comes from - I have it too. As men who married Ukrainians whom we met just like we would any other lady, we are generally just sick of the "mail order" criticism we get from lots of Americans, the majority from women. In a weak moment, it is easy to turn the tables and retort "well what do you expect - look at yourselves". I know he doesn't dislike American or other women, he is just fed up. For the record, the men and women who meet foreigners online are knocked constantly for doing the same thing as American's do on Facebook, Eharmony, or Match.com. Rant over.

i get the whole Mail Order Husband bit just like you get the MOB comments. those are the kind of jokes that are relevant to this forum. posting here is a way for us, who all have something in common, to tell all those people to get bent while having fun with it.

[SuperDuper! 230]

I can only speak from my experience and observations. If you are the exception, good for you, but I look at magnitude and degree and what is the preponderance of things. And it is interesting you also seem to prefer foreigners over Americans. Maybe you too understand things are out of whack in the USA dating scene.

There are 300 million people spread over 300 million square miles in 50 different states in this country. How in the world can you claim that you understand the magnitude and degree of the preponderance of anything unless you've spent a lifetime researching?

Based on the microcosm of people I've met in California, Iowa, Texas, Hawaii, Washington, Nebraska, Nevada, Pennsylvania etc, etc, people's attitudes towards everything vary widely from state to state and region to region. We are no less diverse in this country than in any other. Someone from the Pennsylvania Amish country will have widely different ways of viewing/doing things than someone from Los Angeles, CA, Salt Lake City, UT, Dallas, TX or Nome, AK...

I'm a sociologist.

I will have you know, good sir, that I am a high school graduate.

[amberdima 6]

OK, fair enough. To be clear, I do not hate American women and have never thrown a rock at one. But "hating" and wanting to marry one is not the same thing. Also, I think alot of comments are made "tongue-firmly-in-cheek". However I will say that my wife claims to experience a lot of unwelcoming behavior by American women when they find out that ... 1) She is not just visiting...and 2) that she is married to an American. Personall I find it insulting that that many have commented to her that she is a "mail order bride" without knowing that such does not exist or knowing or background or how we met. Yet these American single women will think nothing of listing themselves in the local dating website as if that is somehow different, and my wife never was listed on any website and that is not how we met. There are plenty of ignorant assumptions to go around. Need I even list them to you?

I think in this RUB forum, we can appreciate the humor, make light of some of the cultural differences, which to me are charming and interesting. Personally I hope my wife never loses her fear of sitting on a stone bench or drinking cold liquids. I hope she never stops referring to the abbreviation of "pound" (lb.) as "lub" I even use it myself now. Or her belief that pantyhose are bad for women's health!

i get the same from russian women in our church: i'm an outsider and i stole one of their good men. i also get the mail order comments from americans- mostly men. but that doesn't make those men inferior- it just makes me think they're jealous or ignorant to uncommon relationships. and yes- my husband has similar quirks such as referring to pounds as 'libs' and fears anything cold. these are the kinds of things that made me love coming to this forum- joking about the fun little things exclusive to our spouses and how we are all old, fat, bald men who have young hotties.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

I find the "get a simple village girl to do everything for you!!!" attitude kind of gross. And I don't understand why some people on here are hellbent on insulting a group that in all likelihood includes their mother/sister/daughter/etc. Yes, cultural differences in love and relationships exist, but that doesn't mean that I think negatively about American men and find the need to insult them at every turn.

He- he! I can get away with the insults because they will not include my mother/sister. I do not have a sister and my mother does not have anything to do with the USA. It could affect my daughter, if and only if, I ever have a daughter and she is a USC. Therefore, for now I am safe (not that I agree with the generalizations).

In any case, for most American women we are all old, fat, and bald perverts who are only happy with an MOB half our age.

Therefore, as long as I am considered such, insults back are also fair game.

[HannahP 119]

American men may at times just randomly end up with foreign brides, but for the majority it is an intentional mission to choose a woman not from America.

Seems like you're basing this mostly on having "observed" Rub/Asian/Phil relationships. Being mostly concerned with Western-Western relationships myself, I would come to exactly the opposite conclusion.

Your world view is so....narrow.