Pissed off and sad

[Traviesa 0]

I am so sick and tired of just this constant whining and complaining about money. I know we don't have money...that's not really news to me. What is the need to call me in the middle of the day and start b!tching to me about how broke we are and now telling me that his brother...a groomsman no less...probably can't make it. Thanks a lot guys! I sat there and said NOTHING when his family spent several thousand dollars on his brother's wedding in January...then went and bought a house that they're not living in...but it's too much to ask that they just all come to my wedding??? Screw it...I'm tired and ticked. I told Javier we're cancelling the April wedding. And quite honestly, I'm not so sure about next month...I mean, I'm going to Mexico, but right now I don't even think I want to get married at all.

[Lizzy 0]

So your now not getting married? After all you have been through please do think this one over..

Yes money can cause issues and you may feel pissed right now, but look at the big picture, youve come this far, dont let this get you down..

Take Care, Melanie

[tsunamihart 0]

Now hold on there! How can you've gone through everything you guys went through and now say "Futz it" (sorry- that's what my old football coach used to say. He'd never use a real curse word) My wife was from Spain and she was getting pissed that a lot of her friends were backing out from coming, but it isn't about them, it's your day, enjoy it, you don't need anyone but your selves. Fah gett abowd it!

[Traviesa 0]

If this was the first time....that would be one thing. But I get this on a regular freaking basis from him...last night I had to hear what meals I can expect to be eating when I go down next month since we can't afford to go to "nice" places like KFC and Pizza Hut. I have my own money issues to deal with-I don't need all that stress added on and to have to wonder if he'll be willing to pay to go to the movies one time...this is supposed to be fun and exciting and it's not. I hate this wedding planning process. I have no support from his side and not much from mine, and it's not worth it for me.

[LaL 418]

youknow Melissa, I dont have much in the way of wise words to offer you, but i CAN tell you, i felt the *support* i received in my pre-wedding/planning days were nothing but selfishness coming from family members. period. its a stressful time on you & javi and family can REALLY add to that.

DO what is right for you and it will be lovely. I went ahead an did a destination wedding on our own (just the 2 of us) and it was lovely. wouldn't have changed it for the world

[JenT 0]

You're both under a lot of stress. Put the wedding stuff ASIDE and TALK to each other. Figure out how to get to the real issue... somehow, I don't believe it's just wedding-related. But, I may be reading too much into what you have written.

Chin up.... you'll get through this.

Jen

[tsunamihart 0]

If this was the first time....that would be one thing. But I get this on a regular freaking basis from him...last night I had to hear what meals I can expect to be eating when I go down next month since we can't afford to go to "nice" places like KFC and Pizza Hut. I have my own money issues to deal with-I don't need all that stress added on and to have to wonder if he'll be willing to pay to go to the movies one time...this is supposed to be fun and exciting and it's not. I hate this wedding planning process. I have no support from his side and not much from mine, and it's not worth it for me.

You know us boys, we have our own closure issues and even when we meet the girl illa of our dreams, for some stupid reason it takes years of gently nudging our noggins with a nice soft cast iron pan before we're smart enough to shut up and do the right thing. We want you to explode a little before something lifechanging occurs, it gives us a possible escape route. Fortunately for me, it wasn't my first rodeo and knew that she was the best thing to happen to me, and that there wouldn't be anything greener on the other side of the fence no matter how many fences I'd find in my life, no pasa nada, this will pass and he'll grow up too. [/color] B)

[Traviesa 0]

You're both under a lot of stress. Put the wedding stuff ASIDE and TALK to each other. Figure out how to get to the real issue... somehow, I don't believe it's just wedding-related. But, I may be reading too much into what you have written.

Chin up.... you'll get through this.

Jen

Of course it's not just wedding related...it's me-related too! I'm 23 years old for heaven's sakes! And getting ready to set myself up for more than 2 years of being married, and spending every night alone. Sorry, but that just isn't very appealing to me right at this moment. Particularly with a decidedly UNAPPRECIATIVE fiance. Damn, I'm done with this...I'm too young to be spending my nights home alone and waste all this time and energy on a wedding that's going to suck.

[JenT 0]

You're both under a lot of stress. Put the wedding stuff ASIDE and TALK to each other. Figure out how to get to the real issue... somehow, I don't believe it's just wedding-related. But, I may be reading too much into what you have written.

Chin up.... you'll get through this.

Jen

Of course it's not just wedding related...it's me-related too! I'm 23 years old for heaven's sakes! And getting ready to set myself up for more than 2 years of being married, and spending every night alone. Sorry, but that just isn't very appealing to me right at this moment. Particularly with a decidedly UNAPPRECIATIVE fiance. Damn, I'm done with this...I'm too young to be spending my nights home alone and waste all this time and energy on a wedding that's going to suck.

I can imgaine how you must be feeling... consider that perhaps you're placing more emphasis on the wedding than you are on the marriage. Take it from one who's "been there, done that"... A shift in emphasis might help you re-focus.

If he is not the man of your dreams... the one you'd go through hell and back with to be together... then consider that he may NOT be the man for you.

Jen

Edited to add: It's better for you to decide that now than after you're married, but don't let this be a knee-jerk decision because you're emotional.

Edited July 18, 2006 by JenT

[CarolineM 0]

Wow Melissa. I'm so sorry.

Does the issue focus more on the wedding thing...like you don't want to get married...or the fiance thing...yuo're thinking it's him?

I was kinda confused...maybe you're just aggravated with him right now. I hope it's the first one because ya'll have been through SO MUCH...I hope a technicality like a wedding doesn't ruin it I know we had this disuccsion, but are you TOTALLY set on a big "proper" wedding? Like Laura said, would you consider a destination wedding? Something small - just the two of you?? Someplace affordable but nice?

I am so sorry you have to go through this. My thoughts are with you.

[rebeccajo 14]

Yeah, Melissa I think you're mad at the moment and probably need to calm down.

Or is what's really bugging you some nagging wonderings about how far along in this process you would be if it had not been for YOUR efforts and YOUR dollars to date?

[LaL 418]

lack of sleep could add way more to the stress of the situation than usual. i hope u can relax soon!

[anya-D 8]

I can understand how you feel.. but you are only 23!!! there are sooo many things to do and soo many people to meet. I'm not saying that you shouldnt get married now.. but just to know that you are still young and you should still be having a fun time!! I also feel that Javiar might also be stressing out too.

May be put the wedding aside and just enjoy each other company in maxico would be good for both of you.

Cheers

Anya

[Isabel 0]

I am so sick and tired of just this constant whining and complaining about money. I know we don't have money...that's not really news to me. What is the need to call me in the middle of the day and start b!tching to me about how broke we are and now telling me that his brother...a groomsman no less...probably can't make it. Thanks a lot guys! I sat there and said NOTHING when his family spent several thousand dollars on his brother's wedding in January...then went and bought a house that they're not living in...but it's too much to ask that they just all come to my wedding??? Screw it...I'm tired and ticked. I told Javier we're cancelling the April wedding. And quite honestly, I'm not so sure about next month...I mean, I'm going to Mexico, but right now I don't even think I want to get married at all.

hey!

Money is always a big issue. I guess everyone knows that everyonce in a while. I often thought,,,SCREW IT...but you know try talking to your guy. Try working things out. We figured out that it is mostly miscommunication between us. Dont screw everything over money. It is not worth it.

Isabel

[jen&darcy 0]

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))