Any help will be greatly appreciated

[Carlawarla 1]

theres actually nothing strange about it at all. her family is iranian and they are completely against the two of us being together. i am not up there currently because i don't make a whole lot of money so i have to stay here at work and make the money for her until she gets a job. do you think she is using me or something? she's not. i'm here because i have to work. not because i want to work. it's because i have to in order to be able to send her what i have. there are lots of apartments that i've found between 300-400. even a roach dive is better than an abusive household. i'd do anything in the world to be able to put her somewhere nice but safe is the most important thing because it's only a matter of time until she is here with me. her father has told her that he would kill her so i'm getting her out. she is a full time student so she hasn't been working. i'd rather her stay in school and only work part time. so it is hard for her to find something at the moment. mostly because we are dealign with counsellors and the police. plus when she is home she has to act like she is asleep or her family will yell and threaten her. she only has a certain time in the day when she can make progress on her own. she has class all day and has to be home at a certain time. she is 21 but her family treats her as if she's 10. so of all the people who took the time to say how strange this situation sounds if you can respond back with something that might actually help it would be greatly appreciated. thanks

i haven't thought about a hostel. i will look into that. i wonder what the price is monthly?

it's so crazy that you guys think that i haven't been right in the middle of this the whole time. how close are you to your fiances? if they were going through something difficult wouldn't you be a part of it? would you question the person you have decided to marry?

she has no friends in toronto because she hasn't lived there long. she moved from iran to toronto about 9 months ago. all her friends are iranian. they took the side of her family and ditched her.

i hope this helps guys. thanks

Well, thanks for providing some background information. Without that, yes, it did sound odd. I understand you're very concerned and frightened for your fiance, and it sounds like a horrible situation. I responded to another thread you had in the Canada forum, without having read this thread, so ignore my comment about wanting to know more about her situation.

Getting huffy with people here however is not only going to alienate yourself, but not offer you the emotional support it sounds like you need.

As I mentioned in another thread, you need to ensure that she calls, reaches out, to someone from the Toronto area who can help her navigating this. She's 21, so she's an adult, and calling a shelter or domestic violence hotline will ensure that she is moved from her home, someone will help her navigate the system, and over some protection.

A restraining order will probably not deter her father. She needs to be "hidden" in a shelter, until processes can be put in place to help her.

Please keep us updated.

[Carlawarla 1]

http://www.victimservicestoronto.com/

http://www.yorktownfamilyservices.com/shelter/home.cfm

[KnJ 0]

Thought I'd follow up on this. I met Ellie a couple weeks ago. She's absolutely lovely.

I helped Ellie move out yesterday. She is in a very safe place and absolutely no one but the worker who is helping secure her supports knows (as in, even I don't know, they took her to location different than where I dropped them off). She doesn't know many people, and yes, people she met here through some local cultural groups abandoned her in all of this. Both she and Brad are very very relieved. The people who helped her are amazing. I won't even say who, to protect her. They gave her great advice, and took all of this very seriously.

Brad I hope you stick around and update on your case and what is happening. I know you were so stressed out about all of this. Ellie has really showed how responsible, resourceful, and strong she is, she dealt with this so calmly and effectively.

Take care,

K

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Thought I'd follow up on this. I met Ellie a couple weeks ago. She's absolutely lovely.

I helped Ellie move out yesterday. She is in a very safe place and absolutely no one but the worker who is helping secure her supports knows (as in, even I don't know, they took her to location different than where I dropped them off). She doesn't know many people, and yes, people she met here through some local cultural groups abandoned her in all of this. Both she and Brad are very very relieved. The people who helped her are amazing. I won't even say who, to protect her. They gave her great advice, and took all of this very seriously.

Brad I hope you stick around and update on your case and what is happening. I know you were so stressed out about all of this. Ellie has really showed how responsible, resourceful, and strong she is, she dealt with this so calmly and effectively.

Take care,

K

Huge Kudos going out to you! Everyone else too!!!!

[wowswift 3]

Thought I'd follow up on this. I met Ellie a couple weeks ago. She's absolutely lovely.

I helped Ellie move out yesterday. She is in a very safe place and absolutely no one but the worker who is helping secure her supports knows (as in, even I don't know, they took her to location different than where I dropped them off). She doesn't know many people, and yes, people she met here through some local cultural groups abandoned her in all of this. Both she and Brad are very very relieved. The people who helped her are amazing. I won't even say who, to protect her. They gave her great advice, and took all of this very seriously.

Brad I hope you stick around and update on your case and what is happening. I know you were so stressed out about all of this. Ellie has really showed how responsible, resourceful, and strong she is, she dealt with this so calmly and effectively.

Take care,

K

Huge Kudos going out to you! Everyone else too!!!!

Yes, that's very awesome to help her out and good to know she is safe.