Need Prayers...

[-Cinnamon- 0]

God bless your love.

Keep the faith burnin.

Ask God for guidance. God is good, all the time.

[DEDixon 39]

yeap, probably true that she is bored to death if she isn't working and if she doesn't have any filipina friends. it is super difficult to get friends in the US without going to work or church or volunteering somewhere. if she is sitting at home all day and night and not going any place because you are working.... not a good thing.

lots of people in the RP everywhere you turn.... coming from where so many people are everywhere (on the streets, outside in the neighborhood... everywhere, RP is just flooding with people), to a place where people don't know their neighbors and are secluded in their homes and in their cars is a big big change.

yeah, if she isn't getting out, you need to let her know that you are sympathetic.

[tallcoolone 102]

God bless your love.

Keep the faith burnin.

Ask God for guidance. God is good, all the time.

Better than asking God, Would be to ask PAL how much a round trip ticket to PI.

If my fiance/wife came to USA and was belly aching about going home, and being trouble.

I would have her on a plane (So Fast It Would Make Her Head Swim) with a one way ticket to PI, With a divorce or annulment papers as her going away gift.

As an American In PI, One can basically pick and choose the girl he wants.

Don't fret too much over one girl, cuz there a millions over there.........

[DARUMA07 25]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.....I knew exactly how felling right now and what is going through your mind ....

i have lost mine before she even got here.

Maybe some professional counseling will help.....even if does not... at least you have tried your best and will have no regrets later.

Unfortunately "some PINOY" do not realize how hard is to make it in the USA.....they have dreams and fantasies that do not match with the harsh reality of living in USA, where only the strongest survive.

Hollywood and other medias should be blamed for create a false impression built on a house of cards....

The family and close relatives support that were used while they were back at home, is nowhere to be find here or almost non existent in the great land of ours.

Boredom and depression set in for the newcomer....culture adjustments take time. Some people live here for 10-20-30 years and never really fully adjusted to it.

Be strong, keep you cool, keep a clear mind and put aside the emotions... at later time decide what is best of both of you....sometime prolonging the inevitable may just prolong the agony on both side.

Very well said!! Hope things are getting better for you too....

[Señora Bonita 0]

I would have her on a plane with a one way ticket to PI, With a divorce or annulment papers as her going away gift.

Don't fret too much over one girl, cuz there a millions over there.........

Best opinion so far.

[luckymom 0]

I think 11 months is quite long for her to be adjusted. It may not be a complete adjustment yet but she should at least realized what she puts herself into. If you exhaust all the possible means to work on your relationship and she is still acting like that, in my opinion it isn't worth fighting for. It is emotionally and physically burdensome for you especially if you are the one trying to make the relationship work most of the time. Definitely she is not ready for a commitment, you should dig deeper what is the reason why she always threatens you or wants to go home. Maybe there is a REASON that you missed knowing from her.

A typical filipina is true to her vows and not be swayed by any homesickness or anxiety. You should know your wife a little more. Good luck and God bless.

[macutelit 0]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.....I knew exactly how felling right now and what is going through your mind ....

i have lost mine before she even got here.

Maybe some professional counseling will help.....even if does not... at least you have tried your best and will have no regrets later.

Unfortunately "some PINOY" do not realize how hard is to make it in the USA.....they have dreams and fantasies that do not match with the harsh reality of living in USA, where only the strongest survive.

Hollywood and other medias should be blamed for create a false impression built on a house of cards....

The family and close relatives support that were used while they were back at home, is nowhere to be find here or almost non existent in the great land of ours.

Boredom and depression set in for the newcomer....culture adjustments take time. Some people live here for 10-20-30 years and never really fully adjusted to it.

Be strong, keep you cool, keep a clear mind and put aside the emotions... at later time decide what is best of both of you....sometime prolonging the inevitable may just prolong the agony on both side.

[calico1 1]

I think every guy here has worried how his wife or fiance' will adjust here in the states... Your wife is clearly upset and she should give you the consideration of calmly talking to you about her issues. Try to work with what originally brought you two together, you loved each other, right? So maybe just a calm, frank no drama talk to each other may help both of you to see if the love is still there. Best luck to you and your SO.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

One of my greatest worries is that once Anna gets here she will get either homesick or bored.

I've asked her to plan to not work or go to school for 1 year. During that year we both have much to accomplish. She need to acclimate to life & weather here. We need to get Gabby to many doctor's appointments and repair his hearing. She needs to learn to drive. And the list goes on.

Sure she could work but it would have to be in the evening as childcare for Gabby (2 yrs old with hearing problems) would be expensive to the point it would cost us money for her to work. Also she could go to school but with the same restrictions for the same reasons. What would be the point of her being here if I still barely ever get to hold her?

I'm hoping that taking online classes to get the General Education requirements for her Nursing Degree will help keep her occupied during that first year and then she can do classes 3 days a week after that to get her degree. I figure in a few years when she's done Gabby will be older and hopefully the hearing issues will be a thing of the past so her working during the day won't be as much of a concern.

I've already introduced her to one Filipina who lives in the area and there's a Philippine Store next to the McDonald's by our neighborhood so I'm hoping she'll meet plenty of local friends.

[jom 4]

If you have tried everything and she still wants to go home...sent her home. There is no point of being miserable just because one person refuses to work things out together. If she really loves you, she will adjust and learn the ways of life here.

I may sound harsh but she probably just used you to come here and when she found out that life was not what she expected...she wants out.

Goodluck and may faith and wisdom lead you to the right decision.

[Pinay Wife 47]

If you have tried everything and she still wants to go home...sent her home. There is no point of being miserable just because one person refuses to work things out together. If she really loves you, she will adjust and learn the ways of life here.

Agreed.

Next time she goes ballistic, pick up the phone and book her a one-way ticket to the Philippines. This is going to be a psychological war. If she is serious about going back home, she will pack her things. If not, she will realize that throwing a tantrum does not cut it anymore and she will start to act in a mature way.

During this showdown, however, you need to be emotionally prepared in case she decides to choose the one-way ticket. But it's better to cut your losses early than be heavily invested in a relationship that already is costing an emotional toll on you. It's just not worth it.

If on the other hand, she chooses to stay, you will have a chance to let her know what your "expectations" are in the marriage (read: you get to "dictate" the terms but do not overdo it or the psyche war can backfire!)

Good luck and I hope you'll get over this bump.

Edited October 12, 2009 by Pinay Wife

[cEzYcHiC 0]

I had the same problems when I came here in the US.

Being away from your family and friends, it's depressing.

I have no choice but to adjust with the communication barrier, weather conditions and such.

I'm glad that hubby is patient enough to keep up all of my craziness.

I know that it gets into your nerves sometimes, hearing your wife that she wants to go home.

I suggest that you talk to her, ask her what she really wants.

Does she talk to her family in PI? If not, I suggest find ways for her to talk to them.

Every woman loves shopping. =D

You could take her window shopping or at least go out in the house when you have free time.

Try plan to bring her somewhere she has never been to. She might like it.

Help her find a job. That would keep her out of the house and divert her homesickness into something productive.

Then talk to her about how you guys fought hard and waited for a long time to be together.

I hope you guys could settle this.

We'll include you in our prayers.

Good Luck!

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

In the beginning, I ignored the subtle warning signs such as extreme homesickness and blurted comments of wanting to go home because of some percieved misunderstanding. Actually she had said on three different occasions of wanting to go home. Once before the marriage and twice since marriage. Two weeks ago she went thermonuclear on me because of so called hurt feelings.

I honestly tried to be calm and not fuel the conflict by screaming back. This time she again talked about going home. She also said in her fury, if she had known her life would be as it is then she wuold not have married me. I asked her about the wedding vows and she immediately screamed she lied.

As I reflect on the past 11 months, I can see she really did not try to acclimate to the family or life in the US. It was I who compromised nearly everything in effort to make her welcome.

I do not want to give up; but, I am both emotionally and physically tired of walking on eggshells to keep her from exploding again.

check out a song by the foo fighters...everlong(acoustic)...meditate..pray...make a decision...stop crying bout it...and ..it takes 2 to tango..i wonder what your wife would post bout you..?

[SuperDuper! 230]

I sympathize to your plight my brother. After all the paperworks and waiting and expense and anticipation.... Walking on eggshells is no way to live, so we hope you try to find a solution and peace.

And to all the members here who said marriage is never a gamble.....

[-B&T- 1]

Sorry, but seems like she doesn't really care about you and your feelings. If she really wants to go home, so be it! Let go and find somebody else there's plenty of fish in the sea.....