Adapting to USA

[TBoneTX 45,288]

Immediately administer a healthy "wedgie." Repeat frequently and as is needed.

[thesnowman 1]

I would suggest setting up some convenient ways of contacting her family, phone cards, webcams, Skype...

Help her make friends and feel independent - if you live in an area that is car-dependent, help her get her license so she doesn't feel like she is 'stuck'.

As the immigrant I would second a lot of that. For my mums birthday I bought webcams for both her and outself and set up skype to do a video call, it helped somewhat. Also being in Kansas City, which is very much a car city, being able to start work and driving really helped. My US coworkers seemed to enjoy introducing me to US culture, and show me a different side to the one that my wife showed me.

I also found a place called the world market that sold UK comfort food and this also helped. I also contact our cable company and paid an extra $20 a month for unlimited international calls so it allowed me to keep in touch with other family memebers and friends.

Overall I found getting a job and getting on with my new life left very little time to miss home.

[MonkeyJuice 3]

I think that coming from England & obviously speaking the same language is a bonus but americans sometimes don't understand my accent & find myself speaking slowly so not to keep repeating myself. It's very frustrating sometimes

When your daughter in law settles into normal life, after the wedding, it's important to find a routine. It could be easy to sleep in late & watch TV all day. Maybe finding her way around town using public transport. Getting out & meeting new people builds confidence & will give her chance to practice her english.

Keepin fit? She could bike around the area & explore.

Cooking is also a past time as I never had time to try new recipies when I was working full time in England. Also, staying focused on what she might want to do when she receives her EAD so before receiving the card she could search for jobs or maybe college courses that she has an interest in.

Getting involved in the local community by volunteering? Libraries or charities usually need people to help out.

Good luck & I hope she settles in smoothly.

[movingsoon2 0]

What helped me the most is giving everything time. It takes time to adjust and after a while I began feeling comfortable where I live. I am not good dealing with change and newness, so just giving myself time to adjust is helpful. I am by no means there yet but I'm getting there ...

[thongd4me 69]

Hello All!

We've been talking a lot about activities and things friends and family can do to help my son's fiancée adapt to the USA when she gets here. I know that she will have a very difficult time with home sickness and we want to make her feel as at home as we possibly can.

For the petitioners, what did you, your family, and friends do to help make the transition more comfortable?

For the beneficiaries what helped you have a smoother adjustment? Looking back what do you think could've helped make it easier?

Any and all suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!!

You are so cool for thinking so much about your son.

As for adjustment problems, I think the best advice would be for him to be a good listener.

She may have various expectations of how relationships with family, co-workers, neighbors

and other people may play out. Her expectations may be positively or negatively impacted

by things people say or do. My fiancée hasn't arrived yet but I have over 30 years of

experience in living & working with foreigners in the US.

Above all, he should be sensitive to things she may say that seem incredible if they are

taken at face value. That is because she may inadvertently say something in English that

is a LITERAL translation of what her thoughts in Farsi are. If something seems incredible or

ridiculous that she says, he should ask her what she means in a very tactful way, to be

sure exactly what her meaning is. My fiancée translates from Thai when she is speaking

English all the time and sometimes it sounds very funny. That's a sure clue that she really

means something else. With love, anything is possible.

I know I previously answered this question before (in a flippant manner, but that's how

I was feeling). This may be of better use to you.

Edited November 2, 2009 by thongd4me