AGE DIFFERENCE

[Kittyfang 6]

Another question....I have been with my Fiancee over a year now...and been to the Philippines many times and stayed together for long periods of time....recently spent 3 months together May-August......before we were together I had other Gf's there who were older.........she and I just click.....here is my question.

She is young and there is about 30 years difference in our ages....and while I know it is frowned upon in American Culture....

Only frowned upon by Jealous People

As for Us, I am more than double my wife's age

Ain't Life Grand...........

Hmmm. I am currently not more than double my wifes age, but I was at one point!

And the "jealousy" seems to be directed more at my wife by Katty liberated American women. "oh, how nice, you are from Ukraine, how long are you visiting for?" Oh, I am not visiting, I am a permanent resident and live here with my husband. "Oh and is your husband a refugee from Russia also?" No, my husband is an American, and I will soon be teaching your children to speak ENGLISH. "Grrrrrrrr...lost ANOTHER one to a Bond Girl"

Lmao at Gary and Alla

That made me giggle. I love America, I really do... but they are a bit... self centered. I've been asked if we celebrate Christmas in Canada, why thanksgiving is on a different day and, although it's never been honestly asked, I KNOW that some of them are dying to ask me if we live in Igloos.

I have not had any negative, racist comments so far, maybe because I am white, so it's harder for them to figure out that I'm not from there, but the accent (French Canadian) definatly makes me stand out. I don't care, I love it. It's not so big an accent that they can't understand me, most of them tell me it's lovely, or sexy, depending on who is doing the compliment.

As for frowning down on everything. I would add a correction. My husband's family is very loving and takes care of its own. They are old fashion, but I know that they wouldn't "cast us out" simply because they don't agree with something we're doing (luckily, I get along with them and it's never come to that). However, I would say that America, as a whole, is very judgmental... and pushy. For a country built on freedom and the right to happiness, they are very interested in telling you what they think your happiness should be and how you should acquire it . The key is to ignore it. Do your own thing. Live your own life. Because at the end of the day, you have to be able to live with what you do and say.

L'accent français/Canadien sexy est pourquoi je vis dans Vermont du Nord! LOL Mais j'ai aussi une faiblesse pour l'accent russe.

Just tell them you will teach their children English and with any luck they will speak English as well as Russian kids soon! (Or Quebecois, whatever) Maybe mention you brought along your 20 year old daughter and she has been dating some 40 year old men and should be deciding soon which to marry. LOL

You know the weird thing? One day a friend of my husband asked if I was Russian. I took a double take. I LOVE Russian accent, but I was like "how do both sound alike?" Oh well, I love my accent and I love the fact that, sometimes, it plays mind tricks on people!

Ok, we cannot do this with French here, there are too many Quebecois around. But we can do it with Russian. If not many people speak French near you and your husband speaks French...

Alla will say some really "naughty things" in the checkout line at the grocery store and flip me out. The cashier just keep ringing things up and I am freaking out! Until I start laughing and the cashier finally asks what she is saying...oh yeah, THEN what do I say? I have to make stuff up...but I have to make up stuff which sounds like something I would laugh at! Dammit, sometimes I wish she was a feminist and never thought of those things. LOL

More fun than blubber jello shots at La Cage aux Sports in Montreal. More fun, even...wait for it...than CURLING!!!!!!!!!

OMG! Curling! I had to explain that one! They still have no idea what it is. Now, on top of thinking we live in igloos, they think that our sport is trowing rocks on the ice and trying to stop them with brooms.

And my husband is ALWAYS trying to get me to speak French in public. Never mind the fact that, to someone who doesn't know French, everything I say sounds... well perverted, the really bad thing is that my husband doesn't even understand French. He just wants to get a... "auditory quicky" in a public place!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

"Hmmm. I am currently not more than double my wifes age, but I was at one point! "

You're only as old as the women you hang with (your g/f or spouse) Recent government studies show men who are married to women with an age gap of at least 10 years tend to live longer and better than others without that gap ~ Federal Dept of Happiness for Men, Sept 08

Do they have any job openings in this department? I would be glad to work there.

Whew...good news for me, except...

THERE IS A FEDERAL DEPT. OF HAPPINESS FOR MEN!!!!!!!!????????? Is it staffed by feminists?

I'm 79 and my wife just turned 19...we had no problems. We have a 8 month old baby even so don't worry about it!

And the winner is..........

[Kittyfang 6]

THERE IS A FEDERAL DEPT. OF HAPPINESS FOR MEN!!!!!!!!????????? Is it staffed by feminists?

If it IS staffed by feminists, the coffee will be decafinated, the pop machine will serve beet juice. The work hours will be from 3:57am to 10:42pm and you will have to walk to work, uphill, both ways, in the snow, for 2 hours.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Another question....I have been with my Fiancee over a year now...and been to the Philippines many times and stayed together for long periods of time....recently spent 3 months together May-August......before we were together I had other Gf's there who were older.........she and I just click.....here is my question.

She is young and there is about 30 years difference in our ages....and while I know it is frowned upon in American Culture....

Only frowned upon by Jealous People

As for Us, I am more than double my wife's age

Ain't Life Grand...........

Hmmm. I am currently not more than double my wifes age, but I was at one point!

And the "jealousy" seems to be directed more at my wife by Katty liberated American women. "oh, how nice, you are from Ukraine, how long are you visiting for?" Oh, I am not visiting, I am a permanent resident and live here with my husband. "Oh and is your husband a refugee from Russia also?" No, my husband is an American, and I will soon be teaching your children to speak ENGLISH. "Grrrrrrrr...lost ANOTHER one to a Bond Girl"

Lmao at Gary and Alla

That made me giggle. I love America, I really do... but they are a bit... self centered. I've been asked if we celebrate Christmas in Canada, why thanksgiving is on a different day and, although it's never been honestly asked, I KNOW that some of them are dying to ask me if we live in Igloos.

I have not had any negative, racist comments so far, maybe because I am white, so it's harder for them to figure out that I'm not from there, but the accent (French Canadian) definatly makes me stand out. I don't care, I love it. It's not so big an accent that they can't understand me, most of them tell me it's lovely, or sexy, depending on who is doing the compliment.

As for frowning down on everything. I would add a correction. My husband's family is very loving and takes care of its own. They are old fashion, but I know that they wouldn't "cast us out" simply because they don't agree with something we're doing (luckily, I get along with them and it's never come to that). However, I would say that America, as a whole, is very judgmental... and pushy. For a country built on freedom and the right to happiness, they are very interested in telling you what they think your happiness should be and how you should acquire it . The key is to ignore it. Do your own thing. Live your own life. Because at the end of the day, you have to be able to live with what you do and say.

well???????

We do. We build a big Igloo. It has to be really big, or else the pet moose gets his antlers stuck in the ceiling. We also having two tiny ones; one is where we keep the whale blubber, for blubber sandwhichs and blubber jello shots, the other is where we keep the seals.

Also, I meant to add in my last reply:

Gary, I hope I understood what you said correctly, I think I did. And I agree. American women (in general, please don't be mad at me ) seem to be very "feminist", but they don't realize that feminism is "having the right to make choices". To them, every woman should be Liberated and In Charge. If you try to tell them that you are a home maker... "How dare you submit yourself to the male agenda!" I know right, because my husband is totally about... agendas. He goes to work where he gets paid a salary that barely covers the bills, but he brings me food from work and always tries to bring me something he knows I'll like, because sometimes there is nothing in the fridge, all he wants when he comes home is a kiss, a beer, something to smoke and spend a nice evening with me, often telling me he loves me and wanting to know what "I" want to do... I personally love that kind of agenda!

Sooo. #### feminists.. They're just jealous because THEIR partner doesn't have *****.

Blubber jello shots? Where is the vomit icon?

For Alla "feminism" means high heels and stockings. I decided long ago NOT to #### feminists which is why I prefer Ukrainian women. Who would want to #### a feminist twice a day?

Now this will make you smile. We live in northern Vermont, right at the Quebec border, so of course the secoind langugae here is French. Not that so many people Vermont speak French, maybe 10%, but it is common to hear the langaugae being spoken, very common. Also given a very "homogenous" society with less than 2% minorities there is the ASSUMPTION that anyone speaking a language other than English is

1. Canadian

2. A visitor

I cannot count the times Alla has heard

1. Are you Canadian?

2. "Oh, you speak French so well!" To which I usually respond "Merci!!!" Alla doesn't speak French at all but I do! LOL

Not to mention, Yes, when they find out she is Ukrainian, they ask the same dumb questions "Do you have Christmas in Ukraine" Alla freaks them out. "Yes, but it is on January 7th" (TRUE! Julien calender!) Nothing about igloos yet, Ukrainians are assumed to live in mud huts, even though they are as far north as Quebec.

Oh well, it is fun. age difference is only the beginning

That made me laugh. I often get the "what language do you speak". I think next time, I will answer "Swahili!" and let THEM figure it out.

The Christmas thing never gets old. And for some reason, it reminds me that just because they're American, they're not all bad. Some are just... sheltered.

I was living in Montreal for a while and had to make a business trip to Alabama (where I also lived for a while) I told a guy I was living in Quebec and he asked "So what DAY is it now in Quebec?" Huh? "It is the same DAY as here!" "Really, but THEY are in Europe, aren't they?" WHAT? Europe is a different day than here? "Um, NO. Actually it borders NEW YORK! I can drive to New York in 30 minutes from my house in Montreal!" (OK, if I avoid downtown and speed a little bit and there is no line at the border) Wow! They walk among us.

[SuperDuper! 230]

"Hmmm. I am currently not more than double my wifes age, but I was at one point! "

You're only as old as the women you hang with (your g/f or spouse) Recent government studies show men who are married to women with an age gap of at least 10 years tend to live longer and better than others without that gap ~ Federal Dept of Happiness for Men, Sept 08

I remember that study. It also applies to married men living longer than single men. It's all the nagging, it's good for you boys.

Please, men divorce the american old nag hag bag BECAUSE she nagged. Nice thing about Pinays, is they are known for NOT nagging.

Nagging is a Death Knell for a relationship.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

"Hmmm. I am currently not more than double my wifes age, but I was at one point! "

You're only as old as the women you hang with (your g/f or spouse) Recent government studies show men who are married to women with an age gap of at least 10 years tend to live longer and better than others without that gap ~ Federal Dept of Happiness for Men, Sept 08

Do they have any job openings in this department? I would be glad to work there.

Whew...good news for me, except...

THERE IS A FEDERAL DEPT. OF HAPPINESS FOR MEN!!!!!!!!????????? Is it staffed by feminists?

I'm 79 and my wife just turned 19...we had no problems. We have a 8 month old baby even so don't worry about it!

And the winner is..........

You will officially be the only guy that lives forever! And be paying college tuition for eternity!

[Kittyfang 6]

"Hmmm. I am currently not more than double my wifes age, but I was at one point! "

You're only as old as the women you hang with (your g/f or spouse) Recent government studies show men who are married to women with an age gap of at least 10 years tend to live longer and better than others without that gap ~ Federal Dept of Happiness for Men, Sept 08

I remember that study. It also applies to married men living longer than single men. It's all the nagging, it's good for you boys.

Please, men divorce the american old nag hag bag BECAUSE she nagged. Nice thing about Pinays, is they are known for NOT nagging.

Nagging is a Death Knell for a relationship.

Believe you me, I'm not the nagging kind either, but the nagging I do saves my husband's life.

[TracyHamza 1]

...i find it hilarious how people put all americans in the same category...(quote)However, I would say that America, as a whole, is very judgmental... and pushy. For a country built on freedom and the right to happiness, they are very interested in telling you what they think your happiness should be and how you should acquire it(quote).....when it seems to me they are doing the very same thing....

...i see nothing wrong with age difference...it's the heart that matters not the age....my husband is 15 yrs younger but i don't go around bragging that i have a younger spouse...that's not why i fell in love with him or the main focus of our marriage...if you have evidence that the relationship is real then i don't think there would be a problem....

[Boiler 45,360]

With PI I think they would be suspicious if there was not a major age difference. However it does vary by consulate. So what is normal for PI would not be the same as for example the North African Consulates.

[Kittyfang 6]

...i find it hilarious how people put all americans in the same category...(quote)However, I would say that America, as a whole, is very judgmental... and pushy. For a country built on freedom and the right to happiness, they are very interested in telling you what they think your happiness should be and how you should acquire it(quote).....when it seems to me they are doing the very same thing....

...i see nothing wrong with age difference...it's the heart that matters not the age....my husband is 15 yrs younger but i don't go around bragging that i have a younger spouse...that's not why i fell in love with him or the main focus of our marriage...if you have evidence that the relationship is real then i don't think there would be a problem....

I really am not telling anyone how they should behave and I'm unsure where you got that impression. But, in that quote, I am talking about the typical T.V. American. The general feeling you get from TV, Radio, strangers, about how your life should be. That is what I was trying to adress. As far as the "typical American". I don't even think there is one. Every one is unique, we do have a similar culture, but when the lights are out, doors are locked and we lay in our bed with eyes closed, we all have different ideas of what the world should be like.

[TracyHamza 1]

...i find it hilarious how people put all americans in the same category...(quote)However, I would say that America, as a whole, is very judgmental... and pushy. For a country built on freedom and the right to happiness, they are very interested in telling you what they think your happiness should be and how you should acquire it(quote).....when it seems to me they are doing the very same thing....

...i see nothing wrong with age difference...it's the heart that matters not the age....my husband is 15 yrs younger but i don't go around bragging that i have a younger spouse...that's not why i fell in love with him or the main focus of our marriage...if you have evidence that the relationship is real then i don't think there would be a problem....

I really am not telling anyone how they should behave and I'm unsure where you got that impression. But, in that quote, I am talking about the typical T.V. American. The general feeling you get from TV, Radio, strangers, about how your life should be. That is what I was trying to adress. As far as the "typical American". I don't even think there is one. Every one is unique, we do have a similar culture, but when the lights are out, doors are locked and we lay in our bed with eyes closed, we all have different ideas of what the world should be like.

sadly, your words are very true though...quite a few are judgemental...i have had a few shocked looks when questioned about my husbands age...it seems women being the older spouse is more frowned upon here but i could care les...lol

[Kittyfang 6]

...i find it hilarious how people put all americans in the same category...(quote)However, I would say that America, as a whole, is very judgmental... and pushy. For a country built on freedom and the right to happiness, they are very interested in telling you what they think your happiness should be and how you should acquire it(quote).....when it seems to me they are doing the very same thing....

...i see nothing wrong with age difference...it's the heart that matters not the age....my husband is 15 yrs younger but i don't go around bragging that i have a younger spouse...that's not why i fell in love with him or the main focus of our marriage...if you have evidence that the relationship is real then i don't think there would be a problem....

I really am not telling anyone how they should behave and I'm unsure where you got that impression. But, in that quote, I am talking about the typical T.V. American. The general feeling you get from TV, Radio, strangers, about how your life should be. That is what I was trying to adress. As far as the "typical American". I don't even think there is one. Every one is unique, we do have a similar culture, but when the lights are out, doors are locked and we lay in our bed with eyes closed, we all have different ideas of what the world should be like.

sadly, your words are very true though...quite a few are judgemental...i have had a few shocked looks when questioned about my husbands age...it seems women being the older spouse is more frowned upon here but i could care les...lol

The really funny part is that women usually live longer than men. You're just being practical!

[TracyHamza 1]

:blink:i never thought of it that way before...

...i find it hilarious how people put all americans in the same category...(quote)However, I would say that America, as a whole, is very judgmental... and pushy. For a country built on freedom and the right to happiness, they are very interested in telling you what they think your happiness should be and how you should acquire it(quote).....when it seems to me they are doing the very same thing....

...i see nothing wrong with age difference...it's the heart that matters not the age....my husband is 15 yrs younger but i don't go around bragging that i have a younger spouse...that's not why i fell in love with him or the main focus of our marriage...if you have evidence that the relationship is real then i don't think there would be a problem....

I really am not telling anyone how they should behave and I'm unsure where you got that impression. But, in that quote, I am talking about the typical T.V. American. The general feeling you get from TV, Radio, strangers, about how your life should be. That is what I was trying to adress. As far as the "typical American". I don't even think there is one. Every one is unique, we do have a similar culture, but when the lights are out, doors are locked and we lay in our bed with eyes closed, we all have different ideas of what the world should be like.

sadly, your words are very true though...quite a few are judgemental...i have had a few shocked looks when questioned about my husbands age...it seems women being the older spouse is more frowned upon here but i could care les...lol

The really funny part is that women usually live longer than men. You're just being practical!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

:blink:i never thought of it that way before...

...i find it hilarious how people put all americans in the same category...(quote)However, I would say that America, as a whole, is very judgmental... and pushy. For a country built on freedom and the right to happiness, they are very interested in telling you what they think your happiness should be and how you should acquire it(quote).....when it seems to me they are doing the very same thing....

...i see nothing wrong with age difference...it's the heart that matters not the age....my husband is 15 yrs younger but i don't go around bragging that i have a younger spouse...that's not why i fell in love with him or the main focus of our marriage...if you have evidence that the relationship is real then i don't think there would be a problem....

I really am not telling anyone how they should behave and I'm unsure where you got that impression. But, in that quote, I am talking about the typical T.V. American. The general feeling you get from TV, Radio, strangers, about how your life should be. That is what I was trying to adress. As far as the "typical American". I don't even think there is one. Every one is unique, we do have a similar culture, but when the lights are out, doors are locked and we lay in our bed with eyes closed, we all have different ideas of what the world should be like.

sadly, your words are very true though...quite a few are judgemental...i have had a few shocked looks when questioned about my husbands age...it seems women being the older spouse is more frowned upon here but i could care les...lol

The really funny part is that women usually live longer than men. You're just being practical!

Um...not really. MUCH more practical is the 19 year old woman that marries the 79 year old man and collects Social Security for like 50 years after he dies, instead of both making it to the finish line at the same time.

In all seriousness, the man being younger in many Muslim countries (including Morroco) IS a red flag and you need to be very careful to document your relationship well. Men being older is common in many cultures and not seen as a red flag (Ukrainian woemn tend to marry Ukrainian men that are considerably older, they are more stable and better fathers and providers...plus if they aren't alcoholic by age 40 they probably never will be) PLUs we are oh-so-better LOVERS (Oh Yeah! ) so it is not seen as unusual for a Ukrainian woman to be engaged to man 10-15 years older as to their way of thinking it is "ideal". For a muslim man to be engaged to an older woman is quite unusual in their culture.

No judgement here, just saying. Best to be well prepared

Edited October 11, 2009 by Gary and Alla

[TracyHamza 1]

:blink:i never thought of it that way before...

...i find it hilarious how people put all americans in the same category...(quote)However, I would say that America, as a whole, is very judgmental... and pushy. For a country built on freedom and the right to happiness, they are very interested in telling you what they think your happiness should be and how you should acquire it(quote).....when it seems to me they are doing the very same thing....

...i see nothing wrong with age difference...it's the heart that matters not the age....my husband is 15 yrs younger but i don't go around bragging that i have a younger spouse...that's not why i fell in love with him or the main focus of our marriage...if you have evidence that the relationship is real then i don't think there would be a problem....

I really am not telling anyone how they should behave and I'm unsure where you got that impression. But, in that quote, I am talking about the typical T.V. American. The general feeling you get from TV, Radio, strangers, about how your life should be. That is what I was trying to adress. As far as the "typical American". I don't even think there is one. Every one is unique, we do have a similar culture, but when the lights are out, doors are locked and we lay in our bed with eyes closed, we all have different ideas of what the world should be like.

sadly, your words are very true though...quite a few are judgemental...i have had a few shocked looks when questioned about my husbands age...it seems women being the older spouse is more frowned upon here but i could care les...lol

The really funny part is that women usually live longer than men. You're just being practical!

Um...not really. MUCH more practical is the 19 year old woman that marries the 79 year old man and collects Social Security for like 50 years after he dies, instead of both making it to the finish line at the same time.

In all seriousness, the man being younger in many Muslim countries (including Morroco) IS a red flag and you need to be very careful to document your relationship well. Men being older is common in many cultures and not seen as a red flag (Ukrainian woemn tend to marry Ukrainian men that are considerably older, they are more stable and better fathers and providers...plus if they aren't alcoholic by age 40 they probably never will be) PLUs we are oh-so-better LOVERS (Oh Yeah! ) so it is not seen as unusual for a Ukrainian woman to be engaged to man 10-15 years older as to their way of thinking it is "ideal". For a muslim man to be engaged to an older woman is quite unusual in their culture.

No judgement here, just saying. Best to be well prepared

yes, we have all sorts of evidence...the best one being (i think) is an email i sent to Casa when they refused his tourist visa when i needed surgery back in June...lol....(at the time, i wasn't aware that since he was an intending immigrant they would not give him one)..i pretty much explained how cruel they were to deny him being here for my surgery and that i was offended that they allowed people here every day for pleasure trips while denying him one for something very important and asked them to explain to me why they denied him...haha...i was pretty upset at the time and stressed over the surgery and being alone for it...i speak to his family quite often through calls and emails as well so i told him last night i would forward the emails for him to take